Author's Note:
I don't know how I ever believed this was going to be a one shot. I'm currently writing chapter eleven and am still not that close to being done. This got entirely out of hand, lol, but I'm enjoying it. Thank you again to everyone who has been following this story and writing reviews. It's much appreciated!
CHAPTER FOUR
Concern
"This is so fucked up."
Regina was going to respond with some kind of demeaning comment regarding Emma's complete lack of eloquence, but considering she couldn't move from the ground without risking intense physical pain, she didn't have the effort to be cruel. So instead she responded with a slightly sarcastic, "Well spotted," her gaze fixated on the ceiling, watching as the fan in her kitchen continued to spin above her. The motion was making her a little nauseous and yet Regina couldn't tear her eyes away, much like her inability to separate herself from that which was slowly tearing her sanity apart.
Emma was thrown haphazardly over the Mayor's body, her breathing still erratic from the destructive act they had just participated in. Though Regina wasn't overly fond of this kind of closeness, she doubted Emma could move without causing herself more pain either. Both of them were beaten, bruised, and exhausted. Regina was also fairly certain that one of them was bleeding, but that was a situation that could be addressed later.
"Maybe we should go to therapy," Emma suggested offhandedly, chuckling a little to make light of a really messed up situation. She sounded half-serious though, which made Regina sigh. If only things were that simple.
"It doesn't work, trust me."
"Oh my god, don't tell me you actually—!" Emma started to exclaim, but as she shot upwards to try to look down at Regina she cried out, her hand gripping her torso as she fell back into her. "Holy shit, Regina; I think you cracked one of my ribs!"
Regina scoffed, her eyes rolling in the back of her head as she corrected, "More than likely it's just bruised. Don't be dramatic; it's highly unattractive."
Emma winced as she had to use extra effort to pick herself up off of the woman beneath her. "You never find anything I say attractive, so excuse me for a minute while I don't care." She let out a heavy breath as she finally situated herself against the wall, relieved to not be putting her body through so much pain when it wasn't coupled with pleasure.
Regina still hadn't moved. The kitchen floor was littered with broken dishes from Emma pushing her up onto the counter that held her drying rack, and now Regina was fairly certain that at least a few remnants of that disaster were now partially embedded in her skin.
This time, it had gotten completely out of hand; far more so than usual.
"We need to stop doing this."
Emma looked down at her, her eyebrows furrowing slightly as she absentmindedly ran her fingers over the deep abrasions Regina had made in her skin with her nails. It was almost nostalgic, as if she desperately wanted to remember how it felt when they were made. "You mean completely, or the violent part?" The question was just met with a sigh, but it didn't deter Emma from speaking the truth. "Cause I don't know if we're capable of having sex like normal people, Regina. We're way too fucked up."
Regina wanted to say that they should stop with all of it, as that would have been the intelligent thing to do, but the truth was that she didn't know if they would be able to part completely. Their passion had started to become so routine that the loss of it might actually, in some screwed up way, manage to devastate her. The chaos of Emma had become just as much a constant in Regina's life as her morning coffee, and truthfully, Regina had always hated the idea of change. This was her life now.
"I don't know," she answered, knowing this was probably not the best time for them to think of a solution anyway, given the current state of their physical forms. Deciding to disregard it for the time being, Regina waved Emma over as she commanded, "Help me up."
Emma smirked, playing a game that Regina already knew she wouldn't have the patience for. "That depends; are you going to finally admit it's me who's in control?" she asked, alluding to an argument they often had in the midst of entanglements while they fought for the chance to be proven right. "Because I gotta tell you, your whole delusion of being the aggressor is starting to become kinda hilarious at this point. I mean, look at you."
Regina colored in annoyance, wondering why she even bothered trying to speak with someone so very pompous. She exhaled an impatient sigh. "Your delusion of power only comes from the fact that you're physically stronger than I am. Don't confuse that with control, Miss Swan. Need I remind you that it is I who dictates when this happens, not you?"
"You know as well as I do that if I texted you at three in the morning and told you to come over and fuck my brains out, you would without a second thought, so save it," Emma snapped, Regina having apparently hit some sort of nerve. If she had the effort, she would probably gloat about that. But seeing as she could barely move from what Emma had done to her, she merely replied with the first thing she could think of.
"Believe me, I wouldn't have sex in that hovel you insist on calling a home even if I were forced to at gunpoint."
Emma quirked an eyebrow at her answer. "And if I called from some swanky, upper-class hotel room?" she challenged, reading between the lines annoyingly well. Regina always did hate that about her, amongst a long list of other things.
The Mayor let out a long puff of air, her patience all but run out. "Just help me off the damn floor," Regina demanded, switching the topic, because she would rather not give confirmation that Emma was probably correct in assuming that. The woman's head did not need to get any bigger.
The Sherriff seemed to assume her victory anyhow though and gloated, "I'll take that as a yes then."
Regina glared, giving up on getting any help; it was probably foolish of her to ask for it in the first place, given who she was with. "This kind of arrogance is precisely the reason I don't like you," she informed her before gritting her teeth, trying to pull herself to a seated position. However a very unpleasant streak of pain went through Regina's form and she cried out, crumpling over onto her elbows.
Emma's entire demeanor changed immediately. "Shit, are you okay?" she asked, concern in her voice as she crawled over to Regina, sweeping away the bits of broken dishware to the side so she could kneel beside her. She delicately touched her arm, the tenderness in the action making Regina uncomfortable. She swatted her away.
"I'm fine."
"Yeah, you look fine," Emma responded, her words weighing heavy with sarcasm. "Seriously, stop being stubborn for two seconds and let me help; I…" but she faltered, her eyes getting a little wider after she had assisted the brunette into a seated position, mostly against her will as Regina was not enjoying the feeling of being coddled. "Shit, Regina; I think you're bleeding." Emma's hand slipped behind her back after noticing blood on the floor and Regina winced at her touch. When the Sherriff pulled her hand back, Regina could see that it was covered with a fair amount of blood.
"Jesus," Emma breathed, distress crossing her face before she wiped her hand on her bare thigh. "I think one of the dishes sliced your back. Here, don't move; let me get a towel or something. Can you hold yourself up straight?"
"I'm not an infant," Regina snapped, irritated by the concern she was being shown. "And I doubt the wound is anything life threatening, so if you don't mind, can you just help me to my feet so I can go take a shower? I feel disgusting."
Emma looked at her like she had gone insane. "Regina, you look like you've been hit by a truck—"
"Likewise," Regina sneered, but Emma wasn't listening.
"—you can't even stand on your own, and you're fucking bleeding. The last thing I'm going to do is leave you right now; and just so you know, you're kidding yourself if you think you're going to be able to take a shower without help."
Regina's eyes went wide at the implication, beginning to grow angrier with each passing word that left Emma's mouth. "You are not staying the night," she told her fiercely. Emma had crossed so many lines before, but that would be going way too far.
"Whatever," Emma dismissed, knowing she wouldn't get anywhere if she tried to argue with her right now. "Just put your arms around my neck and hold on, alright? I'm going to try to do this slowly so it doesn't hurt you anymore than it needs to."
"That's rich, coming from you," Regina muttered under her breath, but Emma just ignored her comment so she sighed, reluctantly doing what the woman had asked.
Emma helped her to her feet in one smooth motion, only causing Regina mild discomfort as she was careful not to aggravate her bruised flesh. She, on the other hand, apparently didn't pay mind to her own injuries because when they had straightened, Emma released a loud hiss of pain, having to lean a bit into Regina's side as she tried to endure it.
"Emma?" Regina asked, unable to hide the concern in her question. She had momentarily forgotten that she wasn't the only one in pain and she had probably put too much weight on her bruised ribs. But Emma merely let out a soft chuckle after she had caught her breath, trying to make light of the situation.
"You actually know my first name?"
Regina rolled her eyes, not wishing to dignify that with an answer, even if it was in jest. She was fairly certain that Emma knew she made a point to use informalities to establish distance between them anyway, and if the subject was properly broached, it ran the risk of their interaction becoming much too personal.
Emma took another moment's pause to collect herself before inhaling a deep breath, shifting off of Regina so she could stand on her own two feet. "I'm starting to think that from now on we should just stick to light bondage," Emma joked, wincing a little as she clutched at her ribs. She shook it off though as she pulled her hand from Regina's wound once more, assessing its current state. "I think the bleeding has stopped," she noted, sounding relieved that it wasn't as bad as she originally thought. "Do you think you can walk?"
"I'll be fine," Regina assured her. Yes, every step would be painful, as her body looked as though Emma had used it as a punching bag, but it wasn't anything she couldn't manage. She just didn't want to get up without help before, as she knew that ran the risk of making everything worse if the damage was more than she anticipated. Thankfully, it seemed the worst thing that would come out of this would be a couple scars and a few days of limping. "And I'm fairly certain we haven't done any form of bondage before, light or otherwise," she added as an afterthought.
"Handcuffs," Emma reminded her, though shrugged at her own uncertainty at what 'bondage' actually entailed. "I don't know. Mostly I just said it cause I think you'd look hot in the outfit."
Despite herself, Regina actually laughed. Though it pained her slightly because of how beaten her form was, it still felt surprisingly good. She couldn't even remember the last time she laughed; it had felt like years. "Only in your dreams, Miss Swan."
Emma just smirked, a silent indication that she probably would be dreaming about that tonight.
When they finally made their way into the bathroom, Emma helped her sit on the edge of the porcelain tub. Regina allowed it without protest, but only because she couldn't assess the damage that had been done to her back herself. More than that though, Regina knew she needed Emma to clean it; she couldn't reach the wound and the last thing she needed was for it to get infected. As the tub began to fill with water, Emma gently encouraged her to turn a little to her side so she could sit next to her and get a better look at the injury.
"How bad is it?"
Emma paused for a long moment, wanting to judge it accurately before she answered. "It doesn't look deep, but you'll scar." Regina sighed softly. She had assumed, but it was still disheartening to hear. Most of her scars were emotional, as Regina had always been able to keep her body looking pristine with magic. Now, here, she didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Still, part of her was thankful because it could have been much worse.
Emma wet a facecloth in the water of the tub before delicately sliding it across her back. Regina winced, but resolved not to make a sound. She had made her choice when they decided to practically tear her kitchen apart during a whirlwind of passion, and yes, it had been very worth it. Despite the final outcome, how they got there had been incredibly erotic and Regina had reveled in every delicious moment of it. It wasn't often that she allowed herself to become completely unhinged like that, and even though Regina wasn't completely comfortable with the fact that she only seemed to be able to do so with Emma, the fact still remained that it felt remarkably freeing.
"Am I hurting you?" Emma asked carefully, her tone much softer than normal. Regina merely shook her head, finding that her voice didn't seem to work when she focused far too much attention on the comforting nature of Emma's hands on her. While the Sherriff cleansed her injury, her other hand had found its place on Regina's hip, her thumb making small circular patterns against her skin. Emma touched her as though she was something precious, something to be handled with the upmost respect and care. It was entirely disconcerting.
Despite how good Emma's hands felt against her though, it made an uncomfortable heaviness set in the base of Regina's stomach. She was just about to tell her to stop when suddenly Emma's hands were off of her. "Get in," she told her, nodding towards the tub encouragingly. "I got most of the blood off you, but I think it'll be better if you submerge it."
"And you know this from all your years at medical school?" Regina couldn't help but snipe, trying to establish a fair bit of distance between them as it was far easier a situation to deal with. Emma had put her hands on her again, trying to help her into the bathtub, but Regina shook them off of her. She didn't want to be touched right now; it made her feel something she knew better than to analyze. "I can do it myself," Regina snapped, deciding that she hated the feeling of being coddled. She was just badly bruised, not some kind of goddamn cripple.
Emma clenched her jaw in annoyance, eyes narrowing. "You know, I feel really bad for whoever is going to be forced to take care of your ass when you're old and decrepit. You're a freaking nightmare sometimes. I'm just trying to help, Regina."
Regina's eyes flashed as she carefully lowered herself into the water. "Well, as you can clearly see, I don't need nor want your help," she told her, carefully settling herself back against the edge of the tub so as to not aggravate her injury. "So why don't you use the bathroom upstairs to clean yourself up before you leave." Though it was worded as such, it wasn't a suggestion. Emma sighed heavily, running her fingers through her tangled hair.
"Fine, I give up. Do me a favor and try not to slip on your pride when you get out."
Regina pursed her lips in annoyance but said nothing as she watched Emma rise from her seat on the side of the bathtub. She just needed some space after the disturbing amount of intimacy that passed whilst Emma was washing the blood from her body, and if the Sherriff had any sense of decency, she would respect that. And if she had any sense of sanity, she'd want that as well.
They were something to each other, yes, that much was undeniable at this point, but they could never be that.
Turning from her, Regina grabbed the shampoo off the rack. But once she had put some in her hand and tried to raise her arms to lather her hair, she emitted a loud groan as her body gave her a very painful reminder that she had been roughly slammed against her marble counter a countless number of times. Emma stopped in the doorway and turned, prompting Regina to firmly tell her, "No," before any words had actually left the blonde's mouth.
"Too bad," Emma retorted as she made her way back over to the bathtub. Regina was starting to suspect that she was doing this just to irritate her now, which Regina was ashamed to admit was actually working. Her self-control, it seemed, was lacking in a wide variety of areas now. "Scoot up," Emma told her, apparently intent on getting in behind her and helping like Regina was some sort of child. The Mayor's eyes flashed in warning.
"If you value your life, Miss Swan, you will get out of my bathroom."
"And if you don't want me to pick you up and physically force you to move, you'll do what I tell you," Emma retorted, far too intent on destroying the last bit of pride and dignity that the brunette had left. She took a step forward, an eyebrow rising. "Don't test me, Regina. I will do it."
Regina didn't doubt that and so her face clouded in irritation, begrudgingly beginning to move forwards to allow Emma to settle in behind her. In the end, she didn't want to subject herself to anymore humiliation than she had to.
"Why are you doing this?" Regina demanded, frustration curling off of her like smoke as she felt Emma place her legs on either side of her body. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, despite how much more difficult it would've been should she had to. Regina didn't need nor want this and Emma knew it, so why was she forcing this on her?
Perhaps the most important question though was why Regina wasn't making a better effort to fight against it. A few aggravated words and indignant glares were nothing compared to what she was capable of. But like everything else Regina didn't want to address, the question was shoved into the back of her mind, forgotten in an instant in lieu of less complicated matters.
"I don't know. Partially because of guilt, partially because I'm a decent human being," Emma retorted, using a sarcastic tone to cover her honesty even though Regina hadn't found herself blinded to the mysteries of Emma Swan for quite some time now. Regina often found herself wishing her perception of the woman hadn't changed, but it was nothing more than a futile desire born from a suppressed fear.
"Something you probably know nothing about," Emma finished, an afterthought of murmured words meant to irritate Regina, because it truly was easier for them to argue than it was for them to have a normal conversation. But Emma just sighed heavily as she reached in front of the Mayor, holding out her hand. "Hand me the shampoo."
Regina practically threw it at her, the bottle landing next to Emma in the water. As the liquid splashed on the edges of the porcelain and Emma rolled her eyes before reaching to retrieve it, Regina felt herself exhale a long, defeated sigh. She didn't know why she even bothered to try anymore; Emma never did do what she was told, so to expect anything different when it came to matters between them would be nothing short of foolish.
And Regina Mills might be a lot of things, but the last thing she planned to be painted as by anyone was a fool.
TBC…
