With Emily, it was easy to let herself get carried away in their little moments. Albeit, it'd been difficult to tear herself away from the little safe haven they'd found in each other's arms. When the time came, the youngest of the Dilaurentis clan didn't hesitate on resuming her daily routine as a Rosewood High student. Unlike Emily, who'd suggested they could just ditch and 'hang out', Alison, despite how tempting her friend had made the offer sound, knew better and insisted that they show up.
The slow burning flame they had was fanned into wild fire overnight. Its intensity threatened to destroy everything that stood in its way. Being the one to always think ahead, Alison had better awareness on exactly how unsustainable it all was. Emily's wish of prolonging this fleeting happiness was understandable. However, boarding themselves up from reality and pretending that forces outside of their little universe didn't exist was dangerous in more ways than one. In the end, Alison was the one that pulled away first, reminding Emily that their presence was required at Rosewood High.
Their drive to school had been mostly in silence save for the soft tune Emily hummed along with the radio, Alison sat shotgun and busied herself with perfecting her appearance. She pretended she wasn't looking at Emily out of the corner of her eyes, but when she caught Emily's eyes drifting between the road and her reflection in the rear view mirror, she knew she had to address Emily before they reached their destination.
"We need to lay down some ground rules," stated the blonde in the passenger seat whilst she applied the final touchup to her makeup, in a manner that was altogether business like. She had no problems hiding her true intentions. She was terrific in convincing people what she'd wanted them to believe. It was Emily she was worried about, especially after her heartfelt confession, coupled with her more than ardent physical demonstrations. It was time, in Alison's opinion to tug a little on the kite strings, to rein Emily in from cloud nine. She couldn't let this milestone in their relationship ruin all other aspects she had been keen on regaining and rebuilding ever since she returned to Rosewood. She had to see to that she and Emily were on the same page.
Her driver and sole companion gave her a perplexed look at the sudden interruption, brows slightly furrowed in uncertainty when she noted this sudden change in Alison's demeanor. Alison Dilaurentis' inner world was a mystery to Emily Fields. It was as if the girl's attitude changed from volcanic heat to deep freeze in a matter of seconds. The girl could just switch on and off at the snap of a finger and without much of a warning. Her expressions rarely betrayed her, as Emily knew Alison was well practiced when lying with concerned. It was something she herself couldn't exactly comprehend, let alone replicate.
"Okay." Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel then exhaled, preparing herself for what was surely to come. "What kind of rules do you propose?" She didn't like whatever Alison had to say one bit. In fact, she hated it when Alison got cryptic with her, omitted crucial information even though Emily was sure the blonde knew all she wanted to do was help in any way that she can. She hated not being completely trusted by Ali, but then again, she'd done that to herself. She shouldn't have told Spencer about her meeting Ali in the warehouse.
"We need to watch how we act around others." She stated, snapping the compact mirror she held to a close before slipping it into her purse casually before she delivered the second part. "And start spending more time with the other girls than just the two of us, alone." Eyeing her reflection in the rear view mirror and attending to her hair now, she heard a quick breath drawn by the brunette and saw Emily's eyes drift between the road and her reflection in quick succession, as if trying hard to digest what'd just been said, even it was clear that it didn't sit well with her.
"It's for your protection as much as mine." She added coolly, hoping that the other girl had caught her drift and let her leave it at that, certainly the old Emily would've let her get her way and for a brief moment it seemed to be going in the direction Alison had wanted their brief exchange to go.
"Ali, I'm not concerned about what people have to say, if that's what you're worried about, it's no body's business but ours. There will always be people who talk. We have no control over that." Emily spoke with measured breaths. She didn't really know what Alison had meant by that, but if her suspicions were correct then Ali was concerned about how she'd be perceived. Perhaps, she wasn't ready and she understood that. It wasn't like Alison gave her a solid answer on what they were now, in the aftermath of the night prior. Being her friend for this long, she knew that Alison wasn't the type to explain herself explicitly, the girl enjoyed the subtleties instead. A title would've meant nothing and rushing Alison to admit anything to her would've done more harm than good.
"Not concerned? Well, I am! Okay?" At that point, Alison's attention shifted completely to Emily. Blue eyes wide, she wondered if Emily was even thinking at all? Did she really believe that this wouldn't cause a ruckus and shake things up? "I might not have control over what other people say or do, in the past or present, but I have control over my own actions and I suggest you do the same."
Emily's mouth dropped open in shock, not expecting that at all. "What…what do you mean?" Before Alison could even answer Emily was sure she already knew, "Do you regret…what'd happened between us?" Of course, she did! Emily was convinced. Everything Alison was telling her pointed to exactly that. She could feel her eyes stinging at the thoughts already. This was stereotypical Alison behavior at its prime.
"I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation here! Can you please just think with your head on straight for one minute? It's not even about that!" Alison continued, with her voice raised more than she would've liked. The blonde regretted that she did the second she saw the hurt look on the other girl's face. And Alison knew she had to make it clear lest she dealt anymore damage than she already had while she still had Emily's attention.
"Look, Em. There are people who want to see me get ripped apart for what I've done to them in the past. And you know as much as I do that's not just Mona we're talking about here. I have more enemies in this town than I can count." She pressed on hotly, almost regretting her decision to come back to Rosewood in the first place but it was too late to turn around. "If we weren't careful, this could be used against me and you."
She knew that Emily saw things differently. Part of her down-to-earth personality was because everything in her life thus far had been steady and simple. For one, her parents were the statistical minority of happily married even after all these years. Out of their friends, the Fields were still together, happily so. For two, Emily was brought up by unselfish and loving parents, whom in turn, through their guidance turned into an upright young lady. There were things she knew Emily couldn't even to comprehend. Things she'd never even consider given the relatively sheltered upbringing. She'd thought Alison ought to apologize to Paige would do someone some good for crying out loud. That was not how the world worked, at least not in Alison's eyes.
"Relax! You don't know that for sure!" Emily argued back, no less tense than Alison was at that moment, "You jump to conclusions way too fast. What makes you think what you think will happen, will definitely happen? No one knows the future! Not even you!" Emily argued back in frustration, then hearing her argument echoing in her ears, she suddenly sensed there was something Alison wasn't letting her in on, again. There was only one way anyone was certain of future outcomes and that was if they'd already set something in motion to achieve that. At the thought her anger flared up more than it already had. This wasn't about them anymore, it was about Alison.
"Don't you think you should be honest, or at least try to be for once and let whatever you have to hide to light, and trust that it'll pass over your heads in due time? It's the fact that you're always hiding something got us here in the first place!" screamed the brunette.
Noting the naivety in Emily's tone, Ali swore under her breath, "Coming clean? Damn it, Emily! You know exactly you've told and how many lies we've told together, you think that being honest all of a sudden would help? That it would undo all the harms those lies have done and we've be redeemed enough to get a happily ever after? Are you even listening to yourself?!"
"As a matter of fact I am, but are you?! It's exactly this vicious cycle we need to break! How long must this go on? I thought with you being back you would at least want to try to make peace with the past! Just give it time and have some faith?"
"Right, because apologizing to all those I've hurt in one way or another will solve this once and for all, right?! We were shot at by Shana in New York, because someone manipulated my childhood best friend to come after me with a gun! I trusted Shana! Then coming home to find my own mother murdered and buried in my own backyard! Mona knows about us being in New York and pulled that stunt to threaten me last night. And you think that by apologizing would prevent that from ever happening again? Don't you see, it's not about having faith, it's about me not wanting to be helpless if something horrible were to happen to someone I care about," Alison paused for a breath, "god damn it, let me spell it out for you since you can't seem to understand, someone like you, Emily Fields! I just can't stand to see you get hurt, especially knowing it was all because of me!"
At that, Alison threw up her hands, signaling she was done arguing. Emily, though silent, heaved in unresolved frustration mixed with shock from this new piece of information.
"We're here," she heard herself say, vacantly as Rosewood High came into view, acquiesced that there was nothing more to be said with their destination rolling to a close.
Seeing how Alison was dead set on her beliefs already. She knew there was no point in trying to convince the blonde otherwise, at least, not in private anytime soon. Instead, she clenched the shift gear tighter than necessary as she parked them in the side parking lot. Alison's hand met hers on the shift gear before she could turn around to grab her purse from the backseat; the blonde placed her hand over Emily's, causing the taller girl to look at her friend again.
"It's the best I can do, for now," She said as she held Emily's eyes. "I'm not taking any chances because I can't afford to lose this time." Alison told her softly before trailing off, – especially when you are concerned – unsaid and kept to herself. "It's too risky of a gamble."
