Toon, Ness, and Lucas were sitting at the patio, desperately trying to brainstorm a report. They must come up with something interesting in thirty minutes, or Dedede will fire them! But what should they write about?

"Why don't we interview Link?" Toon suggested. "He just had a match!"

"No, Dedede doesn't like interviews." Lucas answered.

"He also doesn't find advertisements and the news interesting!" Ness exclaimed, shaking his head sadly. "He doesn't find anything interesting! Ooh..."

"What do we do now?" Toon asked out loud.


Meanwhile, Pit and Roy were hiding in the bushes, next to their prank. They put two pails of sticky glue on top of a tree, where Fox and Falco were going to pass by. The pails were attached to a thin, invisible twine. If one were to accidentally trip over the twine, the buckets of blue would fall directly onto the target, covering him or her with coats of glue.

"Do you see Fox and Falco yet?" Roy whispered impatiently to Pit.

Pit poked his head out of the bushes like a gopher. "No, I don't."

The two teens mischievously snickered to each other and patiently waited for the Canidae and avian to appear. "Hey Roy," Pit started. "I see Lady Palutena, your dad, and your friends!"

Roy looked around through the bushes and saw Lilina and Wolt rushing ahead of Eliwood and Palutena, who were quietly talking to each other. He and Pit looked at each other. Oh no... Are they coming this way?!

"Do you see Roy?" Lilina asked Wolt.

"No, he's probably hiding somewhere with Pit." Wolt answered. The green-haired archer suddenly looked at Pit's and Roy's hiding spot and caught sight of the duo anxiously watching them. "There they are!" he exclaimed.

"Hey, Roy!" Lilina cried out.

Lilina and Wolt hurried towards Roy and Pit, unaware of the buckets of glue and twine. Roy and Pit bit their nails nervously as they mentally began to panic. If Lilina and Wolt activate the hidden prank, they are going to get scolded by their authorities!

"Yamete!" Roy shouted his native language loudly. He hastily dashed out of the bushes. A alarmed gleam shone in his eyes. "Don't move!"

"Stop!" Pit called, panicky following the redhead. White feathers clouded the air as he flapped his wings.

In the rush to stop Lilina and Wolt, Pit and Roy weren't looking where they were going. They accidentally tripped over the twine, fell flat on their face, and activated the prank. The metal pails tipped over and fell onto the angel and redhead with a clunk, covering them in glue from head to toe. Lilina and Wolt immediately halted in their path and gasped. The four teens awkwardly started at each other.

Suddenly, Lilina and Wolt began to laugh hysterically, pointing at the unlucky Pit and Roy. They collapsed and began to roll on the ground like marbles, unable to stop roaring with laughter.

"It's not funny, Lilina and Wolt!" Roy barked at the two giggling Fire Emblem characters. Glue dripped down his red hair. "Stop laughing!"

"Let's get out of here before your dad and Palutena see us!" Pit whispered, trying to shake the glue off his wings.

Roy and Pit tried to get up and hurry away, but their efforts were futile. They were literally glued to the sidewalk! Taking notice of this, Lilina and Wolt laughed hysterically like hyenas. Wondering what was the commotion, Eliwood and Palutena hurried to the scene. Once when they saw their son and server, the two quickly covered their mouths and chuckled.

"Dad, get us out of here!" Roy moaned desperately.

"Lady Palutena, help us!" Pit begged, struggling wildly. "GET IT OFF!"

Ness, Lucas, and Toon, who were about to give up on their article, heard Pit's and Roy's cries for help. Looking at each other with a sure smile, they hurriedly ran towards the humiliating scene. There, Pit and Roy were struggling crazily against the restricting glue, only to get more glue on their clothes, hair, and (In terms of Pit.) wings. Lilina and Wolt were still immaturely laughing. Eliwood and Palutena stopped giggling and uneasily watched the scene like a boring movie.

"Roy, Did your prank backfire?" Ness asked mockingly.

"Kinda!" Roy replied with an annoyed huff.

"Pit and Roy, we're looking for something to write about in the newspaper." Lucas softly said. Pit and Roy stopped struggling for a moment, their eyes wide. "Is it ok if we can write about your backfired prank?"

"Sure!" Roy and Pit answered at the same time. Lilina and Wolt stopped laughing and strangely looked at the redhead and angel. Personally if they were in their situation, they would've said no. Eliwood shook his head, not understanding his son's action. Palutena just smiled at Pit. Lucas began to write a report on his notepad.

"We need to take a picture of this!" Ness said.

Toon took off his floppy lime-green hat, reached into it, and pulled out a camera. "Got it!"

"Pit and Roy, are both of you good actors?" Ness asked.

"I can try my best." Pit answered with a small smile.

"Well…" Roy unsurely started. "I think I am."

"Try to act like you're struggling to get free." Ness requested.

"Alright." Pit and Roy answered simultaneously.

The two began to struggle frantically and scream like two drama kings. Their facial expressions were full of so much agony, it actually looked hilarious. Lilina and Wolt, who stopped giggling for a second, resumed their chortling laughter. Eliwood and Palutena chuckled and shook their heads.

"Oh my gosh, I think I'm going to wet my pants!" Wolt managed to cry out. "Roy, your face is so priceless!"

"Dedede will defiantly love this!" Toon smirked to himself as he snapped a picture of the distressed Pit and Roy.


Ike, who finally managed to outrun the mob of angry cuccos, was walking down the hallway with Princess Elincia. They were meeting the Greil Mercenaries at the cafeteria. Once when the two Crimeans arrived at their destination, they saw their valued allies reading the Smash Mansion newspaper, laughing uproariously. Shinion and Gatrie were sitting in a corner away from the other mercenaries, snickering as they read the humiliating article. Titania shook her head and calmly chuckled to herself. Boyd was chortling loudly while Oscar was unsure whether he should feel sorry for Roy and Pit. Rhys was laughing so hard, he didn't seem to be a physically frail man. Mist, Rolf, and Mia were sitting at the same table, childishly giggling to themselves at the frantic photo of Pit and Roy. Soren smiled for once.

"What's so funny?" Ike asked.

Mist gave Ike her newspaper. "Look at this!"

Ike hurriedly skimmed through the article. Princess Elincia asked, "What happened?"

"Roy and Pit decided to pull a prank on Fox and Falco." Ike explained, grinning as he tried to hold in his laughter. "However, it backfired on them!" Ike showed the picture of Roy and Pit covered in glue, helplessly struggling and screaming for help. With a sudden cry, he and Princess Elincia broke into uncontrollable laughter.

"Wow Pit and Roy, you guys are famous now!" Link said to the redhead and angel as he entered the cafeteria.

Roy's and Pit's hair were still damp from their bath. "I know!" Roy answered cheerfully. "Everyone was asking us to sign their newspaper!"

With a surprised gasp, Mist, Rolf, and Mia suddenly rose from their seats and hurried towards Pit and Roy. Link quickly backed away, not wanting to get trampled by the overexcited mercenaries.

"Can you please sign my newspaper?" Mist sweetly asked Pit and Roy.

"I want your autograph please!" Rolf piped up.

"You guys were so funny!" Mia exclaimed.

"Wait, hold on…" Pit said, reaching in his jean pocket for a pen.


"That article was great!" Dedede praised Toon, Lucas, and Ness in his office.

"Well… thanks." Lucas softly replied.

"We were lucky that Pit and Roy let us write about their incident." Ness said.

"I can't believe they let us!" Toon cheeped up.

"I want more reports like this!" Dedede said with a grin. "I would like a report like this tomorrow! Keep them coming!"

"It looks like gossip is the newspaper's main attention!" Ness said, facing his two friends.

"If we keep this up, we will soon get that Wii U!" Toon said with a smile.

"C'mon, let's start our next report!" Lucas cheerily said.


Author's Notes: I'm surprised no one said Pit and Roy are going to be in the newspaper. xD

I didn't get started on chapter 5. Why? It's because I'm currently taking ideas! If you want to see a certain character (Whether he or she is in SSBB or not!) humiliated in the newspaper or an idea in the next chapter, send a review with your idea. Who knows, I may accept it!

From here on, we won't be hearing much about Toon, Ness, and Lucas. The chapters are mainly going to focused on our unlucky brawlers and their friends. The three may be mentioned.

The poll is still up, however I'm currently sitting on the fence, debating whether I should get started on the Link story, Runaway Marth story, or Marathon story. A Roy story was recently finished, so I kinda want to drop the Roy & Eliwood story. /gets hit with frying pan.

Story Questions:

If you were in Pit's and Roy's situation, would you let Toon, Ness, and Lucas write a report about your mishap?

Which character would you like to see next? Any humiliating ideas?

In every chapter, non-SSB characters will remark on the article. Who would you like to see?