Hey guys! This chapter is super short, I'm sorry. It's also probably the worst one, because I have limited knowledge of how traumatized people actually act. This is basically a small thing about Dean, and talks about how he thinks of himself. I promise that the next chapter is longer. And better overall. I hope you like it! Also, there is another note at the bottom.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any associated characters, events, etc.


Chapter 4

Dean sat in his room and drew. He liked drawing. Over the years, he had gotten surprisingly good at it. Well, as the saying goes, practice makes perfect. And practicing drawing was one of the few things Dean had done consistently for the last thirteen years.

Dean felt terrible. Castiel Novak didn't want to be his partner. Who would? But Castiel was actually a nice guy, so he didn't say anything but "We need a play where you don't have to talk too much." And Dean had agreed. Most kids would have complained. Most kids would have gotten mad at Dean for being crazy. Castiel just looked tired, though he managed to hide it well. Poor Castiel, Dean thought as he drew, Getting paired up with the insane kid. He knew he was crazy. Sammy said he wasn't, and that he'd be better when he got older, but it had been thirteen years since the fire, and he saw no sign of improving.

According to the doctor that his father, John, took him to see, Dean would feel better if he talked about it. Dean didn't want to talk about it. Who would he talk about it with? Not the doctor, he didn't really know that guy. Not Sam. Dean was supposed to protect Sam. Telling him about the traumatic sight that drove him mad wouldn't protect Sam, it would hurt him. And he couldn't tell his dad, because John Winchester was depressed enough as it is. He knew that Dean and Sam's mom, his wife, Mary, died in the fire. And that alone caused him to drink at least every other day. He didn't need to know what it looked like to a traumatized four year old. Or about how he could've sworn he saw demonic eyes everywhere when it happened, though he knew that the the whole idea of demons was stupid. And if Dean talked to someone, anyone, about that night, he knew he'd go into details. He didn't know how he knew, since he'd never talked about it, but he knew he would. Did that make sense? Dean hoped so. Besides, John Winchester didn't like Dean. Sam was his favorite son, because Sam wasn't crazy. He pretended to like Dean, but he was always trying to push him away.

He scribbled at the paper in front of him, making a small black and white sketch that was surprisingly detailed. There was a knock at his door. He froze, and stared at the door for a moment before calling out. "C-come in."

Sam opened the door and went to sit on the bed. Dean relaxed a bit. He didn't freeze up so much or stutter when it was Sam. Sam was the one person whom Dean thought of as a friend.

"Hey, Dean. So, I heard earlier that you got the english assignment." Sam began cautiously. Dean nodded and started tapping his pencil on the pad of paper. "You're with Castiel Novak, right?" Dean nodded again. He had forgotten that Sam was friends with that guy. He hoped his weirdness didn't make Sam less popular with the cool kids. Sam seemed happy with them at school. "How do you think you're gonna do?"

"Terribly." Muttered Dean, taking a deep breath. At least he hadn't stuttered. Being around Sam generally calmed him down. If he was near Dean, he wasn't off getting hurt, or stuck burning alive in a fire, or something else that Dean worried almost endlessly about. The second one worried Dean the most. Not that it was extremely likely, but it was still possible.

"I'm sure you'll be fine." The brothers sat in a comfortable silence for a while. Then Sam spoke again. "You going to see the game on Friday?"

Dean shrugged. "Dunno. M-maybe if dad do-does." He gave a small laugh. "Don't want t-to miss the apoc-apocalypse."

"I think dad plans on going."

"Uh, sure, then. I guess I'll g-go."


Yeah, that chapter was terrible and tiny. I'm sorry. I was trying to sum up that Dean kinda hates himself, and thinks he's crazy, while Sam thinks he can get better if he just tried. That's important to the story, otherwise I wouldn't have posted this chapter. The next chapter is fun, and features the apocalypse! Yay!