Okay well I apologize for the delay finals were awful, pretty sure I bombed my Math final :/. Anyway so here's the next chapter and pretty please review :) And much love to my Beta MystiqueBeauty She rules. And her story Letters to Bella I couldn't stop reading so check that out :) Without further ado, here's chapter four!

It doesn't happen overnight,

But you turn around and a month's gone by

And you realize you haven't cried,

I'm not giving you an hour, or second, or another minute longer,

I'm busy getting stronger.

And I'm done hoping,

We could work it out

I'm done with how it feels

Spinning my wheels

Letting you drag my heart around

Ohh and I'm done thinking you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same

But I'm telling myself I'll be okay

Even on my weakest days

I get a little bit stronger

~A Little Bit Stronger-Sarah Evans

My eyebrows furrowed in curiosity as I waited for the voice message. I bit my lip in impatience when I heard the squawk of the automated voice. Finally, the message came on.

"Hello Bella, its Edward. I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear right now, but I need to talk to you. What I did to you last night was inexcusable. You're a very charming and lovely woman, and you did not deserve that." Edward started, and I already felt blush creep up my cheeks.

I was barely getting use to how beautiful his velvety voice was. I almost laughed when he said he was the last person to whom I wanted to talk.

After all, he was the one that already had me after twenty minutes. He took a breath before continuing.

"Bella, you might think complete stalker to already have your phone number, but I asked Alice for it because I need to apologize and make up my actions for last night.

"If you do not want to reply to this message, I completely understand. Though, it would be wonderful if you did." Edward explained and my heart melted. I needed to calm down or I may have a mini heart attack.

I let a small smile paint my face before hanging up the phone. I felt like Jell-O already. It was a curse that he already had this affect on me. But there wasn't a doubt in my mind that he didn't feel the same way.

I might as well come to terms with the fact that I'm no beauty. In one word, I would describe myself as plain. There was nothing interesting or great about me. I was as dull as a worn out piece of copper.

Edward was like a Greek god. There was something about him that captured me in twenty four hours. I couldn't get his emerald eyes out of my head.

First of all Edward was gorgeous, so intelligent and dedicated.

His dedication to his work I could see right off easily. Maybe he didn't get out so much because he adored his work. In fact, doctors could use more like him. He seemed like the type of person to give everything for their job.

And his smile... It amazed me that he had perfect teeth and I wondered if he ever had braces. I remember those hellish years of braces as a hormonal teenager.

The days of pimples and hormones. He didn't seem like the type of person who would have worn braces, he was just naturally gorgeous.

His smile I'm pretty sure could power New York City for a year. That sounds incredibly corny but it is true. Those were two reasons alone I was sure he wasn't into me.

In fact, Alice probably was forcing him to call me, although strangely his tone of voice seemed truthful, that it seemed to contradict that theory. I almost believed his every word.

Almost.

The reason that I could not believe Edward was simple. There no way on this planet a guy like Edward was single. Absolutely not. And there was certainly no way that he could be interested in me.

A guy like him would never have the slightest interest in a girl like me.

It wasn't just Edward; it seemed as if the whole of the male population didn't have the slightest desire for me.

Not that I minded, I couldn't fall in love again. I didn't want to, thanks to my fear of being broken once more. After what Jacob did to me, I swore that I would never ever get willingly into such a position again.

Although with Edward, I had no choice. I was already falling for him. In the past twenty four hours something happened.

I can't explain it but I found myself blushing like there was no tomorrow, and feeling something I'd never felt in a long time stir in my heart.

I felt like I was acting like a complete ditz, like those in those romance movies that I can't stand to watch. It was only a matter of time before my heart would burst with this overwhelming feeling.

I liked this feeling, a part of me that had missed feeling this way.

However, there was another part of me that hated this feeling. My head was warning me that there would be consequences for this. There was a battle between my heart and my head.

I brought myself back to reality as my alarm blared. I sprinted down the steps and grabbed a box of cereal and a bowl and forced it down. I raced back upstairs and dressed for work, putting on the death trap heels. I somehow managed to walk back down the stairs without getting a bruise, I grabbed my bag and was out the door.

I hailed for a taxi and allowed myself to fall into my thoughts for a few minutes. I looked inside my purse trying to organize it, and my eyes fell upon a broken piece of necklace. I gulped and immediately recognized it.

Flashes of memory flooded through my head. A silver necklace, that Jacob had given for Christmas last year. It had a delicate heart shaped pendant that Jacob had told was his heart, and that he was giving it to me.

There was a time that I used to wear the necklace every day. I vowed that I would never take it off. It was the most important thing to me besides Jacob himself at the time.

Those days were gone now. The last time I saw Jacob gave me enough pain to want to break the foul thing. I remember driving off the side of the road after the confrontation and just crying.

I remember ripping it off my neck and throwing it out the window. And then I remember crawling out of the car and picking up the most important piece; the heart.

I left the chain on the ground and threw the heart inside my purse I swore to myself I would never look at it again.

The heart ornament was dull now, it no longer the shone and glittered. I put it back carefully into my purse, and I almost smiled. The snowball in my throat iced up and I felt a prickling behind my eyes.

This time I didn't burst into tears like before. Maybe I was getting a little bit stronger.

The taxi driver brought me out of the safety of my thoughts.

"Ma'am," He spat impatiently.

"I'm sorry, sir. Here you go," I spoke as I paid him and got out of the taxi. "Thank you!" I waved as he drove away.

I reminded myself that this was New York; the Fork's courtesy I'd left behind was different from here. It was all about moving and rushing here.

There wasn't time to smell the flowers, not that there were any flowers here anyway. Before I moved here, I believed this place to be the key to happiness.

I wasn't completely wrong, but I was slightly happier here then I was at Forks. After having multiple dates with Ben and Jerry on the couch and feeling sorry for myself, I realized I needed to leave.

As soon as I finished up at Washington University I moved here. I was ashamed to admit I haven't had any contact with my father for a while. I'd figured at the time it was better to have a clean break.

I left him a note, and left in the middle of the night. Surely Charlie could cook for himself and wouldn't miss me. I was wrong; I'd gotten countless calls on my cell phone from him, demonstrating this.

But I couldn't talk to him, every time I dialed the number the snowball in my throat iced up and I had to hang up. That was no excuse for how I was behaving and not talking to him.

That part in my life was over. I wanted Forks completely erased from my mind. That was easier said than done however. I surprised myself by almost missing the serene town.

I brought myself once again out of my reverie and went into work. One positive aspect about New York was my job. I love it to bits and pieces.

I have been writing ever since I was a little girl, it had always been my favorite pass time.

It brought me peace, as did books. I could escape the world with just opening up a book. The idea of that fascinated me.

My Dad and I were never particularly close, but we had to make things work. While he was away many hours for work, I'd read or write. Every Christmas my gift from Charlie was always a journal. That was my all time favorite gift as a child.

I focused on the book I was editing, and before I knew it, it was lunchtime. Earlier I got a text from Alice asking me to meet her at a restaurant, I agreed of course.

I decided to get some exercise and walk. As soon as I arrived at the Cafe, Alice sprung out her seat to meet me.

"Eager aren't we?" I observed as she hugged me.

"We have tons to talk about," Alice reminded. Alice sat us down at a small table and started sipping her coffee. This was already a bad idea, Alice on caffeine scared me more than normal Alice.

"So did he call you?" Alice questioned her eyes dancing.

"Yes, he did," I replied, and Alice's eyes brightened. Here it comes, Alice digging into your business.

"Tell me everything!" Alice squealed.

I sighed before I spoke. "He called me last night there was a message for me on my phone this morning."

"And what did he say?" Alice prompted, her eyes bubbling with curiosity.

"He apologized for 'ditching me' last night and asked if he could make it up to me," I summed it up.

"Well, he did ditch you. The guy finally realizes how much he screwed up," Alice replied, her eyes brightening.

"He didn't screw up," I rejected shaking my head. Alice flashed me an 'are you serious?' look.

"Bella, I really don't understand you sometimes! You're a great catch and the guy needs to get out of his lonely hole." Alice reminded me, and I rolled my eyes.

"He seems perfectly content with being single," I added. "I cannot believe he's single by the way."

"He says he's happy but really he's losing his mind. He's such a hermit, all he cares about is work work work. I really think you could break that cycle." Alice explained.

"Yeah right. There are many other girls out there who could do that," I stated, after ordering a latte.

"Yeah, they would but there's no one else out there like you. And don't you dare deny it," Alice defended. My cheeks colored to a dark shade of scarlet at the compliment.

"Thank you, but honestly that is not true." I spoke. As much as I appreciated the compliment it was not true at all. If I was one in a million, then I wouldn't be boring. I'd be exciting and brand new, which I'm not.

"God, would you stop being so negative about yourself? You need to start accepting facts," Alice said, her eyes practically begging me. She couldn't be serious, if anything I was being truthful.

Maybe Alice was blind, or was just telling me this to make me feel better. I pursed my lips and frowned. I'd love to accept and believe every word Alice was saying was the truth, but it wasn't.

She didn't know what happened before, she didn't know my past.

"Alice, thank you so much for saying that, but I'm honestly not," I argued. "You don't know what happened." I covered my mouth as soon as I said it.

Alice's eyes grew dark almost menacing, and then they lightened.

"Bella Swan, you better tell me what you mean by that," Alice warned.

"My lunch break is over, I really have to leave now," I faltered rushing away from her.

"Bella Swan don't you dare walk away from me, please tell me what happened, Bella." Alice threatened her voice in the distance.

"It's not important," I lied as I turned to her once more before leaving the cafe. I sprinted to the taxi driver and hopped in the small taxi as Alice was throwing me daggers.

Then the oddest expression crossed her face; defeat. I felt regret in that moment because I blew up in front of her. Alice was my first friend here, she didn't deserve that.

Running away has always been my safety blanket when I can't handle something. Somehow opening up has always been the hardest thing for me.

When I was a little girl and was emotional, I realized that the best thing to do was keep your mouth shut.

I'd always thought bottling things up was the way to go, don't ever show a sign of weakness. Before I knew it, the drive was over and I briskly handed him the money as I got out of the taxi.

Work passed by slowly, and I was fidgety. I texted Alice telling her how sorry I was for the way I acted, but hadn't yet gotten a response. Once work ended, I decided to walk home.

I dialed Alice's number on my phone, figuring that maybe apologizing to her personally was a better way. For a minute, all I heard was dial tone.

"Hey Bella, what the hell is your problem?" Alice asked, clearly pissed off.

"I'm sorry Alice, I acted like a total jerk," I apologized, praying for her forgiveness.

"It's okay, it's just I was just really confused about what you said. You said I didn't know what happened. I've always wondered what happened to you, why you came here." Alice droned.

"It's a really personal story and I'm not comfortable talking about it. That doesn't excuse my actions though, Alice. You didn't deserve for me to go berserk on you." I apologized.

"It's okay Bells, just know whenever you want to talk I'm here, okay? And so have you called my brother back?" Alice questioned, her tone brightening.

My clumsiness once again made its presence known as I tripped on the sidewalk.

I felt a hand pull me up. I was shocked when I realized who it was.

"Actually, Alice a phone call wasn't needed. I'll talk to you later, okay?" I spoke my body freezing in shock.

Oooh cliffy! Sorry if y'all hate me but please review, I'll try to update next week :) I love each and every one of those who put this on story alert, author alert, favorites, and to my surprise some one put me on their favorite authors list :) That made my day, but y'all would make my life if you reviewed.

-Always,

Princessinblues