31 December 2013
It's New Year's Eve. Li Tienming is on holiday. In Bulgaria, again. He hopes that this time he will have more time to rest.
Everything looks the same as the last time he was here, except for some things. The major event that happened since then was his marriage. He met a Bulgarian girl while he was in Beijing. Things went fast - they got married just a month later. Because of her, he started to like Bulgaria more and more, and that's why he returned here. Also, this time he didn't take a train.
23:50 in Dobrudja restaurant, Dobrich, Bulgaria
- What is that strange music? - Li wondered.
- This is traditional Bulgarian music, - Maria, his wife, replied - This song is called the Dunavsko horo.
- What are all these people doing together?
- They are dancing to the horo. It's easy, try it!
- Noo, no thanks, I'll just sit here drinking my... how did you call it?
- Rakiya.
- Oh, right, my rakiya. I'm getting quite used to it...
The music suddenly stops. The DJ gets an old radio VEF and tunes it to the news radio station. And then a voice begins:
"Уважаеми дами и господа, скъпи граждани на Република България, часът е единадесет и петдесет и пет..."
- What is going on? Who's speaking? - Li's anxious.
- That's the president's speach. It's almost New Year!
- Oh, such thin voice, wow, is she a woman?
*A big and awkward moment of silence*
00:00 1 January 2014
"Честита нова 2014-та година!" - the radio voice murmored.
"WOOHOO!" - everyone shouted and went out to see the fireworks display.
- So much bombing in this little city, I didn't expect tha... - Li said, interrputed by a loud boom next to him - And so many drunkards bombing the city...
- It's getting quite cold out here... - Maria said.
- Don't you wanna... warm ourselves up? - Li suggested, raising an eyebrow in a pervy manner.
- Oh... why not! - she smiled realizing what he wanted.
They quickly went inside, drunk their glasses of champaigne at once and rushed to the toilets. Entering them, they locked themselves in a cabin and started kissing. While tongue-kissing, they started taking off their clothes. She took off her dress, then his suit and after that she went topless. He started licking and sucking her nipples. Then they sat on the toilet, with Li facing towards Maria and the door. Suddenly, there was a beep coming from his trousers.
- Oh, shi, this is my phone.
- What? Aah, the nice dirty beeping coming from your...
- Trousers, the right word is trousers. Somebody must be calling to greet me for the new year, would you give it to me?
- With pleasure.
She put her hand in one of the pockets and then went deeper and deeper inside it.
- Can't find it! - she said.
- Not this one, the other one!
- Oh, of course, I forgot you have two pockets...
*Awkward dirty laghter*
She found the phone and gave it to him. Then, without even looking at it, he opened the toilet and threw it inside.
- Wow, don't you need this phone?
- Nah, I still have four more.
- Hey, wasn't that a Nokia?
- Yeah, why?
- Argh, it'll continue to ring from inside the toilet... but nevermind.
Five seconds later, another phone started beeping.
- Do you always put your phones on vibration? I'm starting to like it. - Maria said.
- I'm sure you'd like it, but I don't like this one. Do you know why?
- Because you're a man?
- No, because only my colleagues call me on this exact phone. And only on special occasions.
- What does a special occasion mean? Where are on a f*****g holiday!
- You know where I work. And yeah, it is indeed a f*****g one, but I'm not sure it will be a holiday from now.
Then he decided to do something. He grabbed her and put her vertically towards the locked door, with her ass touching him. Then he started pushing and pulling while trying to get out his phone.
- Oh yeah, let's do it like this - she said.
Getting the phone out of his pocket, he answered the call.
- 喂,你谁啊?[Hello, who are you?]
- 我是你的老板。[I'm your boss.] I'm glad you picked up your phone. There's something you must prevent.
- 操…I mean 他妈的,老板![Fu... I mean what the hell, boss!] It's New Year, I'm celebrating, is there any time of the year that I won't have to work?!
- Faster! - Maria shouted.
- Quiter now, please! - he answered.
- Look, I know what exactly you are doing, despite the fact I am in Hong Kong. Please tell me, what do you prefer - have sex with your wife until you and 200 more poeple die, uninformed of what was going on, or prevent this terrorist bullsh*t and save the lives of so many people? - his boss asked rethorically.
- Wait, how did you... know... *deep sigh*. Okay, I'm listening. Tell me more.
- Why did you stop? Li? - Maria asked nervously.
- Shh, just be quiet. - he replied, whisperingly
- So - there you are, in the restaurant, among with 200 guests, 21 people staff and a gang of terrorists. They're planning to hide a bomb somewhere. It's with timer, of course, so as they can have enough time to escape.
- Wow... but why? What are their goals? Why this place?
- YOU are the target. Who else would bomb such a place? It's looks like it's already been bombed. Anyway, you're planning to stay here 'till the morning, right?
- Yup...
- That's good, because they probably know it and aren't in a hurry setting up the bomb. That means that they ARE setting it up RIGHT NOW, and that means that we have time to STOP them NOW!
- Okay, okay, don't shout. Aand... how do you know what I'm doing?
- Whistle three consecutive times.
- What?
- Do as I said.
After he whistled, he heard that his boss hung up the line.
- The heck is going on here?
Suddenly a man got into their cabin, crouching from the bottom of it.
- Aaagh! - Maria screamed and started putting on her clothes.
- WHO ARE YOU? - Li shouted, holding his second Nokia towards him.
- Don't worry, just don't worry. Calm down. Your boss sent me for backup - the guy said.
- Backup, I see. Nice. Well, hi, my name is Li Tienming, she is...
- Maria. Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Bashar and I'm from Syria. I'm the tech guy. And put this Nokia down, it's not your gun.
- A tech guy, nice. And why do I need a tech guy?
- Because you need S.W.E.G.
- Swag? I need swag? You are telling me that I don't have swag?
- No, no, sir, you need S.W.E.G. - Special Weapon Encrypting Generalizator.
He took out the SWEG out of his pocket.
- What the heck is that? It looks like the remote control of my 80's TV - Li said.
- SVEG ON! - Bashar said "clearly" and then a display appeared on the SWEG and the buttons started emitting light.
- ... and with voice recognition. Thanks God I'm not Scottish! - Li admitted.
- But you're Chinese - Bashar attacked him.
- Hey, hey don't you know that voice recognition was invented by the Chinese?
- STOP arguing you two and tell what in the world is going on here? - Maria shouted nervously.
- OPERATION 4! - Bashar shouted and then Maria fell on the ground inconcious.
- WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?
- Don't worry, she'll just be unconscious for 30 minutes. Women...
- Oh. You really had to do it using your voice and not by pressing the buttons, didn't you?
- If you have de SWEG you can do whatever you want with it - Bashar said proudly.
- Alright. Now, let's go, we have some serious work to do.
- Oh yeahs.
- Hmm, I still wonder what will operation 69 be...
- Just go, Li!
They both inlocked the door and went out of the cabin.
- Do we have a plan? - Li wondered.
- Of course, I always have a plan - Bashar assured him.
Li Tienming sighed in relief and started listening to him.
