Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin

Chapter Four – Logan's Girl (Brownies anyone?)

"Hey, Jean," Logan mumbled into the air, his cell pressed against his ear.

"Logan, when are you coming home? What are you and that animal doing? I thought you said you were only staying for dinner! Do you know how late it is?" she exclaimed in a rush.

His eyes closed as he held the phone to his ear. She complained a lot lately. She'd never liked him going out every night with the boys and so he'd tried going out every other night but she hadn't liked that either. They had their most serious fights about that. One year into their relationship they'd fought over that so much he'd felt like hitting her but instead he'd gone out with the boys, spent the next few nights at Victors sleeping on the floor and when he'd gone back she had been teary eyed and forgiving despite her anger. She'd just been glad he'd come back to her. After that she'd stopped arguing about how much time he spent with his friends and he hadn't abused her silence but had tried to spend more time with her. But that had changed gradually and now he knew she'd be pissed because this would make the second night in a row he hadn't shown up.

He'd unofficially moved in permanently with her about three years ago although he still maintained his own apartment around the corner from Harry's, his favorite bar. If she didn't like him going out so much he just didn't come home for a few nights and she'd be repentant and thankful when he did come back. He'd figured out how to make her feel guilty in order to make her shut up and though he felt a little guilty sometimes for doing that to her a man needed to be free to do what he had to do.

It wasn't like he was looking for someone on the side even if she was a little stingy with her favors lately. He looked at other women a lot but that was it. She wasn't bad in bed and had always been ready more or less except for that one time of the month when she took to bed with cramps so bad once she had to go to the hospital.

A few years ago she'd said a baby would fix all that and he had balked and bolted. That was their second worse fight. He'd been scared she wasn't taking her birth control and he'd all but moved out of her place. He'd done one of his disappearing acts, stayed away for six months never once calling her. He'd even told himself they were through and had a few romps with some of the girls that had been eying him for so long at Harry's. Then one day he'd seen her walking arm in arm with a guy wearing some kind of weird red tinted sunglasses.

They would have passed each other on the street without noticing each other except he was on his motorcycle waiting for the light to change. Neither of them had said anything but neither had they looked away. Then a horn had blown behind him and Logan had sped off. That night he had gone back to her and she had never seen the guy with the sunglasses again. They hadn't had a serious fight since which was one of the things he liked about her. And though he didn't spend ever night with her still she was content enough and since she didn't nag him he'd been content enough as well. But tonight was another story.

"Logan?"

"I'm here."

"When are you coming home?"

"Soon. Vic wants to play some poker."

"It better not be strip poker."

How did she know? He could never figure that out but she always knew what he was up to when he was with Victor, like she could read minds almost. Fortunately he didn't need to reply because she was always a little curious about Victor's women and she couldn't resist asking about the new one.

"I bet she's dumb isn't she?"

"Um . . ."

"Is she pretty? I mean, well you know what I mean. All his women are pretty in a cheap sort of way. She's probably like all the others, a skank," Jean laughed.

Logan spit out a mouthful of beer. "Um, no, Jeannie, she ain't a skank."

"Right. Will you please tell him you have plans already? It's getting late and I miss you."

"I will."

"Good. See you soon. Love you."

"Yeah."

There it was again – those words. He had never told her he loved her back and every time she said it the words hung in the air like some forecast of impending doom. She didn't say it often, seemed to say it only when she wanted him to feel guilty or so he imagined. He hated it when she said it. He supposed he loved her in his own way but it wasn't the all consuming love he thought love ought to be if you were going to settle down and be faithful the rest of your life, kind of what he'd felt towards Mariko. He knew he didn't want to sleep with only Jean forever. He'd fought off temptation fairly well but when they'd broken up that one time he'd enjoyed being with new women and it was hard to forget that sometimes. He didn't want to be like Victor, a new woman every few weeks, but he did want some variety every once in awhile.

Lately he'd even been eying that new waitress at Harry's, Domino she called herself – pale woman with a black tattoo around her eye, black hair, beautiful body, a real ambitious girl who could talk about guns and bikes like she was one of the guys. She was sweet on that one guy with the big body and little head from way too many steroids but he acted as if he were clueless or had a girl somewhere. Logan had never spoken to him, merely nodded in passing. A guy with a little head had to have a little prick, Logan thought but that was their business. Still, Logan hadn't made a move on Domino. He hadn't been with another woman since the big break up and that was two years ago, almost. Hard to believe.

He put the lid down on the commode and sat down. After running his hands through his hair he held onto two fistfuls of it and rested his elbows on his knees. He didn't need to be there in Victor's apartment with a woman that looked like she had stepped right out of the Playboy mansion and was made for only one thing and only one man, that man being him, not Victor. He thought about taking a quick shower, nice and cold before going back out there but quickly tossed the idea aside. They'd think he was crazier than he felt right about now but how to get out of playing strip poker with this woman in front of Victor? What was he saying? He couldn't play strip poker with her at all!

After a few minutes he got up and splashed cold water on his face then stared at himself in the mirror over the sink. He was getting old. Crows feet around his eyes and was that a gray hair? He pulled at it, finally plucked it out, looked at it and shook his head. Not yet. He wasn't that old at least.

"Okay, I'm going home no matter what Vic says," he told himself and he went out determined to stick with his plan.

Once in the main room the wholesome smell of brownies baking greeted him and he sniffed the air eagerly. He couldn't remember the last time Jean had baked anything from scratch. She was a box and can kinda gal not that he cared. Food was food. Still, the smell of rich chocolate brownies drew him into the kitchen.

"Smells good."

"Oh, thanks. Let's hope they turn out as good. It only takes about five or ten minutes to make them but sometimes they're not as good as I like them to be – I'm still getting used to Victor's oven."

Now that was a telling statement, Logan thought. He glanced over at Victor wondering if he was hearing what he was hearing but Victor was playing a video game on his PS2. Logan saw he was totally oblivious to what was going on and for a moment he didn't blame him. If this woman moved into his kitchen baking brownies and smiling like that he'd be completely oblivious too.

He stood by, thumbs hooked through the belt loops of his jeans just watching her as she finished cleaning the bowls and pans she'd dirtied up in an effort to please them. She wore a cute little apron with ruffles on it, the kind a French maid wears in movies. He could imagine her in it and nothing else but he forced himself not to.

"Don't worry about Victor," she said. "He likes to show off but I never lose at poker."

"You don't?"

"Never. A friend taught me how to play and when it comes to cards he's the best there is. Victor's good. I'm better. Victor's probably hoping you can beat me though."

"Like he's never seen you naked before?" He'd spoken out of hand and he felt like apologizing but instead he looked around the little apartment as if he wasn't aware he'd stuck his foot in his mouth.

"He's always up for an adventure," Ororo said with a chuckle.

"He's out like a light right now," Logan noted. In the far corner sprawled out on the oversized bean bag Victor was snoring peacefully, the controller still in his hand.

"He's sweet," Ororo whispered.

"I wouldn't know."

"You two have known each other for years – you know."

"No. I don't know. Victor's never been the sweet type."

"Really? I can't imagine. He's the type that's all bark but inside he's a big teddy bear."

Logan couldn't help snorting. "Don't tell him that."

"He wouldn't mind."

"Maybe not coming from you."

She stopped what she was doing and looked at him then and he didn't look away. Did she feel it too? Did she, he wondered? He wanted her to feel what he was feeling. He wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her with them standing so close like this. Her eyes were beautiful. Contacts were never that crystal clear and bright.

"How long have you and Victor known each other?" she asked as she turned back to the dishes.

"Since the Gulf War – fought in the same squad."

"Army buddies?"

"Marines."

"Oh! No wonder I'm attracted to him. There's something about a Marine, even ex-Marines. I can't resist them."

"Yeah? Well, Victor wasn't your run of the mill Marine," Logan started then stopped realizing if Victor hadn't shared his past with her it wasn't for him to do.

"So you two must be really close," she said when he didn't continue.

"Yeah . . . I guess."

"He said you saved his life."

Logan chuckled. He bet Victor hadn't mention that they'd been trying to kill each other that day and it hadn't been the first attempt either. Victor hadn't changed much, was still the same arrogant, selfish, antagonistic SOB Logan had first thought he was but after Logan saved Victors life when he could have let him die they'd come to an ambiguous understanding which had slowly turned into a hesitant friendship. Logan figured it was best to keep your enemies close but after awhile Victor, even with all his faults, had grown on him while Victor found Logan's silent companionship was something he'd gotten used to although having no other friends had been a big factor.

"Marines protect their own," Logan commented without further explanation.

"He hasn't told me much about the war."

"Not much to tell."

"Yo, when you gonna be ready?" Victor called through a loud yawn as he stretched his long arms and legs out.

"Give us a minute," Ororo replied then spoke to Logan: "Will you help me dry these?"

He took the towel she offered him and stepped closer to her and began drying the dishes as she handed them to him.

"They smell real good," he said and felt stupid for saying it but he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"They're about ready too."

She dried her hands and slipped them into oven mitts and retrieved the small pan from the little oven. They did smell good and soon Victor was standing in the doorway with an eager look on his face. Logan looked from Victor who looked the happiest he'd ever seen him and then to Ororo who looked motherly and sexy all at once as she bent over the hot brownies, her breasts in the low cut tank top dangling above them temptingly. He grinned a little when Victor slapped Ororo on the behind. She jumped and swatted his hand away but she laughed and blew him a kiss. It was obvious to see they were happy. Maybe even in love. For once Logan wished he had what Victor had.

xox

Poker had been fun and the brownies delicious – two naked men sitting around the table losing pathetically to Ororo. She'd laughed at them so much they'd almost gotten mad, or Victor had but she'd kissed him until he forgot his anger and was thinking of other things. Logan had made a discrete exit to the bathroom, clothes in hand where he quickly thrust them on. When he'd opened the door they were still kissing so he tip toed to the door. He chanced a look back and saw Ororo was watching him. She pulled away from Victor and smiled as if in thanks and he smiled back still wishing it was him and not Victor that was with her.

Jean had not understood in the least.

"You smell like you drank the bar out of business!" she exclaimed when he returned much later than he'd planned.

When he made no reply she went on – "Do you know what time it is? It's two in the morning! I have to go to work tomorrow! How am I supposed to go to get up and get ready for work every day when you keep coming in all hours of the night? Huh? Huh? Scott never did this to me! But no! I had to get back with you! And you smell like you had sex too! Did you sleep with her? Did you sleep with her?"

He hadn't even made it into the bedroom. She wouldn't let him pass moving to block him when he tried to step pass her. He wasn't in a good mood, just wanted to sleep and forget the evening.

"No, Jean I didn't sleep with anyone."

"But I bet you wanted to."

"What difference does it make if I wanted to or not as long as I didn't?"

That was the wrong thing to say and he knew it just as soon as he'd said it but the words were already out and he couldn't and wouldn't take them back.

"Why do you have to keep hanging out with that animal if you always want to sleep with his women, Logan? Is that why you're still friends with him? I mean why do you have to lust after his women all the time? Do you like trashy women is that it? Do you want me to be trashy? Is that what you want from me? Do you want me to be a slut like all his women are? Huh? Huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Actually he'd only wanted to sleep with one of Victor's girls and that had been Raven. The way she'd kept egging him on, telling him he couldn't keep up with her. It had been an ego thing more than lust but the lust was there too. The day he couldn't keep up with a woman was the day they'd be burying him. Unfortunately he'd made the mistake of telling Jean about Raven. He never would have said anything but Jean had asked him if he was attracted to Raven and he'd told her the truth, didn't see why he should lie about it when he wasn't going to do anything about it.

Of course Jean hadn't taken that well either. She'd exploded. She'd raged throwing pretty much the same accusations at him as she was now. That time he'd just gone to his place too tired to fight with her. Now he was glad she didn't know he'd actually slept with Raven. That had been the only time he'd ever cheated on Jean when they were a couple anyway. And since Victor had kicked Raven to the curb it wasn't like he was going behind his back. Besides that it was just the one time.

Once was all he'd needed. It hadn't meant anything to either of them. Revenge sex for her and he'd been out to prove a point and a little curious. Victor didn't want her anymore and she'd been on a destructive streak that Logan had tried to put an end to. He'd been drunk at Harry's when she came in looking for Victor. They'd left together but never made it to Vic's. He hadn't even enjoyed it that much. She'd been a little too wild for his taste, so wild he hadn't been able to sleep with Jean for a few weeks waiting for the bites all over his body to heal. He still cringed at the memory of some of the places she'd bitten him. The only good thing that came out of it was that he wore her out and she'd had no choice but to admit it. Tell him he couldn't keep up!

"What would you do if we were married?" Jean demanded. "Still go around chasing after his trashy women?"

"We ain't married, Jean and never will be," he said with finality and turned to go.

"Oh, Logan! I didn't mean anything by that. I'm sorry. You know how I don't like Victor. I don't understand why you keep him as a friend. I don't even think he knows the meaning of what a friend is, not a real friend."

When Logan said nothing she slid next to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"I' m just tired. I've got an early meeting tomorrow and . . . well it's late. Can't we just go to bed?"

He grunted not really wanting to go back to his place. It was late and he was a little tanked having gone to Harry's after he'd left Victor's.

"Oh, Logan," she sighed as she put her arms around him. "I miss you when you're out that's all. I don't mean to be jealous but I know how Victor and Cain are. You're so much better than them. I know she probably wanted you instead of Victor. I can't help being jealous. I'm sorry, really. I don't want to fight. You know how much I love you."

Another fight prevented. He was getting better and better at handling her outbursts as the years passed by. She even let him make love to her that night despite how late it was, blissfully unaware he was thinking of another woman. Not Mariko, not Raven, not Domino but Ororo.

A/N – Thank you all for your very thoughtful reviews. And a special thanks to my poor overworked and slightly confused beta Skyz who's been such a big help to me. I should be able to update this weekend after she goes over the next chapter. In the meantime if anyone's interested here's Ororo's recipe for the best and easiest brownies you ever made!

Ororo's Brownies

2 squares unsweetened chocolate

1 stick of butter (1/4 pound) or margarine though butter will give you a richer taste

2 eggs

½ teaspoon vanilla extract (no imitation extract mind you!)

1 cup sugar

1/3 cup flour

1 c chopped walnuts or pecans (your preference)

¼ teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt the chocolate and butter in a medium size pan on the stove using low heat. Stir occasionally and when melted remove from heat and add sugar. Beat in eggs and vanilla extract then stir in flour, walnuts and salt.

Grease an 8 by 8 ½ pan with butter or shortening or spray oil, pour brownie mixture into pan and bake for 25-30 minutes. Cool for ten minutes and enjoy!