Chapter 4

Bens face was now back to it's original place, above mine. He slipped his hand into mine,
and it consumed me, it was almost twice its size. It was warm and welcoming. Him tugging on my hand pulled me out of my daydream, and he started walking us toward the pool.

"you can borrow one of my swim suits Sadie, there out in the pool house closet!" she yelled, fixing drinks for Me, Ben, and Rein. Ben led me out onto the Patio, it was burning against the bottom of my feet. I jumped alittle bit at the new sensation, and Ben felt it and laughed.

"Go on Red. Go get a suit and come join me," He urged. While my mouth just gapped open at Margret's pool. It was BIG, with steps on both ends of the pool, and it was 6ft deep at one part, i looked over at the hot tub, and decided maybe i could just stay in there while the rest of them swam, it did look good, like a warm shower.

"Come on Red, and stop starring. Let me see my preview," He said again, as he winked at me, liking the way he used the words 'my preview'. I let go of his hand and walked toward Margret's pool house to get changed. There was a bathroom, a small kitchen, and a couple chairs, and a TV. I grabbed a black bikini off of a hook near the bathroom and walked into bathroom to change.

I looked at myself in the mirror. 'What are you doing, Sadie? Swimming for a boy? For smug boy? you hate swimming! and you hate skimpy outfits! and here you are putting on a revealing bikini!' My mind screamed no at me, but somewhere else in my body screamed yes. Because on the other side of this building was my dripping wet boyfriend, with his muscular stomach and arms, and his shaggy hair. And after this morning, all i wanted was to feel his hands on me again, his huge hands.

After tieing the last string i looked up from my feet and took a glance at my body. The bottoms were really small and stringy, with two strings tieing together on either side of my hips. The top was just as stringy and showed off my growing boobs, that were now b's. I grabbed a towel and a pair of flip flops off the shelf in the closet of the bathroom, and walked out of the pool house, to the table to set my towel down and take my flip flops off.

I saw Rein in the water splashing Margret but i didn't see Ben. I broke into a cold sweat, scarred that my secret would come out in a matter of seconds. My heartrace slowly declined as i felt his wet body mushed against my back, and his lips at my ear.

"I like my preview," he said as he smirked. "this is a good look for you, you should wear it more often" I felt his breath hot on my ear, I was consumed in his movements. His mouth started moving down my neck, and my breathing got more ragged.

"Get a room", I heard Rein yell from his spot on the steps by Margret, she laughed beside him not knowing anything my mind or heart just went through. I turned around, letting my hand touch his wet abs, then i let my hand water up toward his hair, and tucked some of the unruly mess behind his ear.

"Wanna swim Red?" he breathed, his hands somewhere wondering on my lower back. "no,Ben" I replied shakingly "i think I'm just going to sit in the hot tub for awhile". I smiled, hoping he'd get the point. I felt hes hands leave my back, and as soon as i turned around i saw him running back to the pool and doing a cannonball. I slipped into the hot tub while i waited for him to come up for air.

"suit yourself red, but i will get you in here," he laughed, shaking some water out of his hair. i grinned too, hoping he wouldn't notice my breath hitching. I tried to focus on the water, it was nice. Warm, welcoming, how long has it been since i came here with Ben? This morning seemed so far away.

I started dazing off, forgetting everything. It was almost like i was home in my own tub, reading and thinking of new books i could read and such. I was gone, until i felt someone lift me like i was a rag doll out of the hot tub. I knew it was Ben, and i knew his destination i panicked. I screamed.

"Put me down!!!", i screamed. He felt him lift me higher and move closer to the pool. "please Ben just put me down!" I started screaming hysterically, and by this point i was crying. Ben walked me over to the pool chair with my hitting him with my fists and crying hysterically.

"Geez Red, what's your deal?" he asked, as he set me down roughly in the chair. My hair was a mess, straightened and frizzy from fighting my way out of Ben's arms. My eyeliner was slightly smeared, and my cheeks were pink from all my screaming. I was embarrassed. Margret and Rein were staring at me from the pool, they had never seen this side of me before. And i didnt want to know what any of them thought.

I stood up out of the seat Ben had put me in and started to run. I ran and picked up my towel and flip flops past the door. I ran out of Margret's house and onto the sidewalk, when i hit the next stop sign, i stopped running, and it turned into a walk. I didnt even notice Ben running after me until i felt someones hand on my shoulder.

"Red, look at me." He said sternly. His grip on my shoulder got more tight.

"No." I replied. And i felt his grip loosen.

"Red, please." He pleaded. And i knew without even turning around that Ben Harrison was behind me begging for me to look at him. Begging. Pleading. Needed me to explain. But i wasn't ready to and he was going to have to move on.

"Just leave me alone Ben. Just go home." and with my final hard words i felt his presence disappear completely and he was stopped several feet behind me in awe. I was torn. I didn't want this, and yet, being humiliated was enough for me never to swim forever.

It seemed like i walked forever till i arrived at my front door. I was almost dry by then, summers heat does a girl well. I ran straight from the front door, past the living room, then back up to my room. I got out of Margret's bathing suit, put it up to dry. Took a shower and changed into a tank top and some underwear. I put my ipod in and pressed shuffle: four words to describe my feelings toward the first band, thank god for atreyu.

I hated knowing the fool i made of myself. I heard the door knock and told whoever it was to go away. They keep knocking for a good five minutes and it created a noise that even my ipod couldn't drown out. I got up out of the bed furious at Hal for being an asshole for not letting me be alone. I opened the door to scream at him, but as soon as i opened the door i realized that this was not Hal. In fact, this was the last person i wanted to see. Smug Boy. In all his freaking glory.

AN: and for some reason i had this chapter finished months ago, but i didnt want to post it, because i thought maybe all of you guys would hate it. let me know if you do, and if i should keep this story, (: