Disclaimer: See chapter 2.
You're so kind with your reviews, thank you all! I am aware that this is fluff, junk, drivel, and going nowhere fast...guilty as charged. But in my defense, it's all free! And there, I rest my case!
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When classes were over, Iruka hurried to the mission office - limping.
Not only was he moving with less speed than usual, he was running late due to an emergency afternoon conference with a parent. It was kind of annoying how people thought that when then their child brought weapons from home it was somehow the school's fault when someone got hurt. And never mind that it had been Iruka as the sole victim this time, his own thighs that got slashed, way too close to an appendage he was not willing to sacrifice in the name of education. Well, regardless, the little girl was suspended for the week whether the parents agreed or not.
When he rushed in through the door Genma gaped and jumped up.
"Iruka! Were you attacked?" the senbon jutted seriously and the man came around the desk, intercepting Iruka before he could reach his chair.
"It was a student, just an accident." Iruka watched a little uncomfortably as Genma knelt in front of him.
The jounin carefully pulled the cloth of his pants away from his thighs to free them from the dried blood.
"Drop those pants; let me look at these wounds."
Iruka started to step back. "They look worse than they are. It'll be okay, I'll take care of it when I get home."
"No. Let me see. I think there's some dirt or something, that color doesn't look right. It's too hard to tell unless I see it iin the light. "
That got Iruka's attention. The last time he'd let something like this go and his wounds had been dirty, he ended up getting very ill for quite a while. He began undoing his belt when a curt "ahem" came from the doorway.
Kakashi was standing up very straight. His usual mission room slouch had vanished.
Genma gave a look with a raised eyebrow, and Iruka blushed and stared, taking in the sudden vision of daylight framing that exotic silver hair and hard physique. Iruka's hands were still slowly working to free his pants, on auto-pilot. Nearly two weeks of casual play-acting hadn't eased his ambivalence about the situation; now, when Kakashi was around, it was difficult to concentrate on anything else.
The fact that the two did not actually stop their shenanigans when he interrupted them shot Kakashi full of possessive outrage. They should at the very least pause to acknowledge his dominion. And was Iruka now just going for the general identification of being gay, as opposed to being in a relationship?
Iruka might have been oblivious, but Genma knew it was a jealous look immediately. His evil grin told it all.
"It's okay, Iru-kun, just let me touch it and see…" Genma said suggestively, relishing the chance to provoke his lazy superior. As the tan hands began to lower the pants for him, he just couldn't resist licking his lips. No doubt that was why he suddenly found himself holding thin air.
Kakashi and Iruka materialized in the filing alcove. Startled, Iruka's pants had dropped all the way to his knees.
"What do you think you were doing in there?" Kakashi demanded. Iruka tried to dip down to pull his pants back up but the strong gloved hands held him upright.
"Hey…what the…?" Iruka gave a token struggle, and he winced when it bumped his leg with Kakashi's.
Seeing the look was pain instead of guilt, the copy-nin moved back and gave the dropped drawer area a quick visual inspection. He took in the sight of the wounds and reprocessed the last scene with this new bit of information in mind. With a frown he transported them straight to the infirmary. Which, he thought angrily, is what stupid Genma should have done in the first place instead trying to be cute about it.
Luckily for Kakashi, Iruka's displeasure at being transported to the infirmary against his will prevented him from putting together just how jealous the jounin had been acting. Especially while they were not being witnessed by anyone they were trying to fool.
"Kakashi!" growled Iruka. The sound of his discontent alerted a nearby med nin, who turned and took in the sight of the copy-nin restraining a half-pantsed man with swollen, blood-crusted thighs.
What are these pervert ninjas doing to each other now? wondered Al the orderly, waving them to an examining table. The embracing hold the taller man had was slow to release, further confirming his suspicion. This hospital is too busy to keep patching up the results of sick jounin sex habits.
Al pulled the curtain along its track in the ceiling to conceal the table area and motioned for Kakashi to step out. Which he did, just barely, his legs visible as his body made a bulge in the thin cloth on the other side. He was outside the curtain. Technically.
"Did you want him to do this to you?" Al asked, no longer caring if the disobedient jounin heard.
"Wha…him? You mean? No! No he didn't…"
"Yes I did," intoned Kakashi's bored, deep voice. "He begged for it. He's incredible."
Too much information, Al shuddered.
Oh, Iruka thought. Another golden opportunity to further their goal. Dummy me.
"Well, I guess I have to admit it. Yes I wanted him to." Iruka smiled sheepishly, his face jumping in a wince as the wound was probed.
Suppressing the urge to slap them both for wasting valuable medical resources, resources that could easily be conserved if they would merely learn the normal way for two guys to do it, Al continued:
"I have to report this. What was the weapon?"
Iruka held his breath for a moment. Kakashi smiled.
"It was a twine razor," Iruka said quietly. Kakashi and Al both gasped. They were poorly formed cheap blades, considered disposable, mass produced from pig iron. They were unique in that they usually had uneven edges and a greasy finish to the dark, smelly metal that left a residual odor if you used it with a bare hand. Especially painful since the edges were milled haphazardly, unevenly sharp and dull. They were often a source of mishaps due to the tendency of the hay balers to dispose of them carelessly in the fields after use.
Sick bastard, thought Al unkindly at the copy-nin's earlier proud tone.
Who the hell did this to Iruka? scowled Kakashi.
"We need to clean this out really well, and you're getting a Tetanus booster, I don't care how recently you've had one. Come with me." And I'm telling Tsunade before I let you leave. You guys need a talking to.
He settled Iruka in an examination room, eying Kakashi, deciding if he should let him stay. He decided to allow it. The man wouldn't dare do anything in the hospital, and he'd be front and center to face what would likely be one very pissed Hokage. Al liked the idea of that quite a bit.
The twenty minutes they waited were very long ones. Iruka's seat on the table added tension to the skin on his thighs making the cuts sting and burn more. Kakashi's perch on the cheap side chair was rather uncomfortable as well.
"A twine razor?" Kakashi demanded. "Who? How?"
Unable to fathom why it pissed the man off so much, Iruka explained. It did not quell the anger.
"And you were going to wait even longer to take care of it? You know how dangerous cuts from those damn blades are. You should have come in immediately." The silver head shook in disbelief. "And now we have to let the Hokage think I did that to you as a turn-on."
"Hey, wait a minute here! It was your idea to say we did it on purp…"
"How the hell was I supposed to know that you would let something that nasty go without medical care? You know better, Iruka. I'm disappointed in you."
Ouch. Iruka bit his thumbnail, his budding indignance flattened. He tried to take care of his own wounds, especially those caused by his own negligence. It was his student. He should have caught her with the blade the minute she walked in the classroom with it, concealed or not. It was a relief that he was the only one hurt. And he had intended to use it as a wake-up call to himself, and put a little extra alcohol on it to sting the reminder in well. It didn't occur to him that it might be seen as irresponsible from someone else's viewpoint.
"Hey," Kakashi's voice was a little softer after he calmed a bit, and he stood up to touch Iruka's shoulder. "Sorry. I'm just concerned, that's all." When Iruka looked guilty, Kakashi went to give him a supportive hug, thanking his lucky stars one more time for their act.
The low, rumbling sound froze them both. It grew in volume, in depth. It exploded in a roar.
"What the HELL is going on between you two? Hatake, I'd believe anything from you, but Umino, this blows me away. Away I tell you! A twine razor! What, trying for the trifecta of lead poisoning, tetanus and sepsis all in one shot? How long ago did this happen? Answers! NOW!"
One huge gulp later, Iruka realized that their act would not be a wise thing to try and pull off in front of Tsunade - besides, the incident report had to be submitted properly since the student was indeed suspended.
He came clean with a hurried synopsis of the day's events, nearly running out of breath.
"We were just preserving the privacy of a student in making up that story for the orderly," concluded Iruka's explanation, and Tsunade, somewhat mollified, nodded. She placed the third used needle on the tray, using her thumb to massage the last injection site.
"Very well. Just remember, Hatake, anything you stick into our sensei better not be a weapon, understand?"
Tsunadi leered.
Iruka blanched.
Kakashi never flinched. "So, I have the all-clear to stick things into our sensei otherwise?"
Iruka swayed slightly.
"Since when did you have to ask permission to penetrate allied territory, Hatake?" laughed Tsunade. "If you can infiltrate and reach your objective, who am I to deny you? Just make sure your maneuvers are agreed to by both parties. In this case, I would prefer you go out of your way to make sure of that, understand?"
Iruka felt a little dizzy, but hid it quite well. He thought.
"You look a little green, Iruka, not unexpected after those shots. Kakashi, please help Iruka get to his home, and thank you for bringing him in for treatment. Seriously, Iruka, that would have been a big mistake to let those wounds go."
"Yes, thank you Lady Tsunade and Kakashi-san. And I suppose I should thank Genma-san as well."
"Don't go overboard," growled the silver-haired jounin, and he teleported them away in a flash.
oxoxoxo
