"Rachel are you okay?" Finn asked pulling me onto his lap and rubbing circles into my back.

"I'll be fine." I told him looking into his deep eyes and setting my forehead atop of his breathing in and out.

The best part of being with Finn was that he could comfort without any words, he may not have been the smartest boy in the world, but he was great when you just needed someone to hold you and tell you you'd be okay.

"Finn?"

"Hmmm?"

I closed my eyes and let just one tear fall "When did it all get so complicated?" I looked up to see that Finn looked extremely saddened. His normally upbeat smile turned down into a terrific frown.

"Rachel talk to me." He demanded but mor than that he was pleading.

I shook my head and gave him a half smile "Nothing...nightmares and a healing concussion can make anyone a little..." I whirled my hand around showing him what I meant.

He nodded and kissed my forehead rubbing his nose against mine. "I love you."

I closed my eyes and blinked back the tears I knew would be forming there "I love you too Finn."

Finn leaned in to give me a kiss when my phone started ringing and rushed to answer , jumping off Finn's lap to grab my cell phone.

"Rachel!" My Daddy's voice growled through the phone.

"Oh hi Daddy!" I said as enthusiastically as posssible so that Finn would not suspect anything.

"Rachel tell your father that you will be staying with him until next Friday." He snapped sharply.

"Um sure."

"And you remember what I told you, you let our little secret slip and you'll wish you were dead."

I blinked furiously as to not let any tears fall and I had to breath in deeply from stopping my shaky hands. "I promise Daddy."

He didn't say a thing, and just hung up on me... great father.

"Rach?" Finn asked questioningly from the living room.

I didn't even respond, how could I? I ran instead up the stairs and straight to my bedroom throwing my self on the bed and pulled out the note book that I had.I continued, writing the story I had started if ever I wasn't around anymore, some would at least be able to know who I was.

And the poor girl has never felt alone, even though she is far from actually being alone. She thinks that maybe this is worse; Feeling alone and being surrounded and cared about by some. She maybe be greedy, she has friends and a boyfriend, and a great father but she wants more. The girl wants both of her fathers to love her and to take her in their arms and tell her that she is the best thing that has ever happened to them. This will never happen and she knows this, because her Daddy cares so much about his drugs, that he would never go without them at free will. She promises herself that even if he does get clean and wants reconciliation that she will never give it to him, because how can she? He has made her feel useless and ugly, and defenseless. The words he says will never be enough even the most sincere apologetic words will get him nowhere because the only words she'll ever hear are
"You'll wish you were dead."

I sighed deeply and put down my pink fuzzy pen. For some reason writing makes me feel better; get everything off of my chest.

"Rach?" Finn knocks lightly on the door and pokes his head in "Can I come in?"

I jump up off of the bed and pretend to be busy at my closet "Sure."

He goes to sit on the edge of my bed and I can practically feel his eyes burning holes into the back of my head.

He just cares Rachel I whisper to myself, if only because he does.

"Rachel um what did your dad say to you on the phone?" He finally asks me.

I turn to face him and lean against my closet door crossing my arms pretending to feel uncomfortable "I just miss my Daddy." I whisper crossing my arms across my chest and pretending to be embarassed. In all honesty though I do miss my Daddy greatly, but this imposter...he terrifies me.

"Baby you don't have to feel embarassed about missing your Dad I know how much you love both of them."

I crawled up on to Finns lap for the umpteenth time "You're the best boyfriend ever."

He smiled proudly "That's only because I have the best girlfriend ever."

"Thanks Finn."

He held me for a few minutes before I heard him sigh deeply "As much as I would love to stay here with you, and I really would, my mom wants me home for dinner."

I kissed his nose and hopped off of his lap "Go ahead babe, my Dad will be home soon."

"Alright and trust me Rach, I will be back tomorrow."

I grinned at that small something to look forward to "I love you and I'll see you me later."

"I will darling.I will."

Finn was gone before I liked and I actually had to be alone for a little while. I decided to go up into my room and sort through some of my things, seeing what I would need to bring for the next time I stayed over. I looked in one of the boxes stacked on my desk and found a pink teddy bear with a heart in it's chest. My Daddy had given it to me when I was five years old and had went missing in the department.

"Daddy!" I screamed running in circles "Daddy!".

I looked up and down, high and low and could not find my father anywhere.

"Sweetie do you need help finding your father." A woman in a dark blue uniform asked me as I was making my way through the store.

I shook my head "I'm not supposted to talk to strangers."

The woman laughed "That's very good, but I am a police officer and can help you find your Dad."

I looked at her strangely "How do you know where my Daddy is ?"

She giggled again "I don't, but I think we can both find him if we look really hard."

"Okay." I sniffled as she took my hand and started leading me to the front of the store.

"What's wrong sweetie pie?"

I sobbed "What if I-I-I nev-ver find my my my Daddy will I have to stay here forever."

"No we'll find him don't worry."

After about a hundred years my Daddy already arrived frantic "Rachel!" He yelled holding his arms out for me.

"Daddy Daddy!" I screamed as I hurled myself at him and he picked me up holding me tight against his chest.

"It's okay sweetie Daddy is here it's okay." He said softly repeatedly kissing my forehead.

"I'm scared Daddy, what if I never find you?" I aksed him wiping away my tears.

As any father in the same situation he took me to the toy aisle. He found the bear right away and held it out to me. "Do you see this bear baby?" I aksed.

"Yes Daddy." I smiled lightly.

"This bear right here, berrignton will always help you to find me. But I promise you Rachel you'll never lose me" He told me softly.

I carried that bear everywhere for an enitre year believing that if I had it my Daddy would magically appear.I loved that stupid bear, not because of the bear itself but because it was like a lifeline to my Daddy. It made me remeber his promise that I would never lose me and I had.

I sighed deeply and pulled the bear to my chest sightly and cried into it. "You promised Daddy, you promised."