If your reading this, it means you stuck through all three chapters and I'm flattered. Thank you for making it this far!
So, I decided to do a chapter from Peeta's point of view, because later I want to do one from Gale's and I wanted to test it out. Yes, he is coming back, and if all goes well, he should be back by next chapter. I'm spacing it to make it easier to read. Sorry, it's a short one again…
Peeta's POV
As we drive home, I watch them sitting there, laughing. I love them so much. How could they ever understand the horrors that haunt our nights? Katniss and I agreed that they never really would. I see it though, the confusion in Lys's eyes as she sees the fear in Katniss's. She wants to know the reason for the fear. I remember the pleading in her eyes when she told me she missed me. Of course I promised her, I'd stay. But now I realize that may be impossible.
I thought they were gone, the flashbacks that leave me gasping on the floor from the intensity, straining my muscles to try to control my thoughts. But somehow, they always win, and afterwards I never know what really happened. Yesterday was the worst I've had since I tried to kill her. Kill her. The words sit in the pit of my stomach and rest there. I have not forgotten the guilt of what I tried to do then.
No matter how much we pretend, we will never have a carefree life. We will never be free of the past, no matter how hard we push ourselves deep into the current moment. But then, I remember, she chose this life. She said real, and she reminds me every day with her beautiful persistence that she won't give up. She wakes up every morning, no matter how hard the night has been, knowing I'll be there. Lich and Lys need to understand this. I resolve to talk to Katniss about it the first chance I get. But I never get that chance.
As soon as I get inside the house, I see her lying on the couch. She does not acknowledge my presence. Lich and Lys go outside to clean up the flowerbed, so I sit beside her.
I put my arm around her and smile. "Hey Katniss, how was your day?" I receive no response.
I cup her chin in my hand and turn her face towards mine. Her face is blank of all emotions. I brush my hand across her face and push the tangled hair behind her ear. She hasn't brushed her hair today. She is wearing one of my t-shirts and a faded old pair of sweats. Her pajamas. She still hasn't changed.
Now that I think about it, she hasn't even moved. She was in this very position when I left. Panic rising in my chest, I kiss her. She makes no motion. She does not pull, away, but she does not return my kiss. When I pull away, she shifts slightly on the couch. At least she is making some movement.
I think: "What to do? I can't tell the kids. Who will know what to do with her?" Then it hits me, I call District 2 immediately.
"Hello, Is Dr. Everdeen available?"
"May I ask who's calling?" asks a young women in a clipped voice.
"Mr. Mellark, regarding her daughter." I answer
"Mr. Mellark! How is she? How are the kids? Is she expecting another?" Her voices changes immediately from official to conversational.
"Fine, thank you. No, we're happy with the ones we have so far. May I please speak to Dr. Everdeen?
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I'll get her right away."
"Peeta?"
"Yes, I'm here."
"How are things going?"
"Not good. Katniss is, ...well, I'm not sure what's wrong."
"Is she expecting again?"
"Oh no, at least I don't think so, she just won't speak to me."
"Well, I'm sure after a day of the cold shoulder she'll turn around. She can never be too stubborn with you around."
"No, I mean she won't talk to me, acknowledge me, or even look at me. She's gone..."
"You don't mean … gone, gone?"
"Yes, I don't know what to do, or what to tell the kids.
"I'll be there tomorrow afternoon. Keep her out of their sight. Lich is a lot like her, he may resent her withdrawal if he finds out.
In the meantime, try to be with her at all times, send the kids off to school as usual, then keep talking to her. Show her that you're there. She's in there somewhere and I know that she needs you there, ... that's what I needed."
"Of course, thank you. Can you talk to her for a minute?"
"No, it might make it worse, I need to be there in person."
"OK, I'll see you."
"..."
I hang up the phone and look at Katniss. How could I be so caught up in my flashbacks when I knew she would be struggling too? I carry her up to our room and tuck her in.
I remember a similar time, when I carried her up to her room, years ago. She had said: "Stay with me!" Of course, I answered: "Always."
But when I look at her, I see that she has already fallen asleep. That must be a good sign, if she can sleep.
I stay there though, waiting for the nightmares to hit, knowing that they will. I wonder, can she hear me? I whisper, "I'm here, I'll always be here. Always."
How'd you like it? Have you guessed what's happening yet? I have a general plan to this story, but it's kind of writing itself. If I forgot anything or you want to see a particular character's POV, please tell me.
