-Minako
10:36 pm, Thursday, Tokyo
There was a slight breeze tonight, blowing in from some direction that I didn't care about. It kept my hair out of my face, which was all that mattered. But so did the red ribbon I had taken to wearing nearly two or three years ago. The dreams, or visions, or whatever you wanted to call them, had been infrequent. Infrequent but powerful, often leaving me gasping upon waking.
Of course, their subject matter might have been the reason why I gasped so. Alternating between destruction and apparently that my former self got around; a lot, with another woman brought more than just a blush to my face. I didn't want to focus on the destruction, of ruins and fire and blood and the dead. I didn't want to think of the killings, the agony and pain, much less the screaming. I didn't want to remember that feeling of loss even though it didn't hurt as bad as the feeling of betrayal did.
It wasn't like the other was any better but it felt certainly a lot safer. I felt … complete, even if it felt strange spying on myself in a fashion. I could easily recall hair that was the color of night, eyes that shone a hue that simply purple or violet would never define. Thinking of anything more brought more than a flush to my features, feeling my body instantly warm in response. I felt alive, tingling, wanting, and that was a problem.
I could also recall some sense of surrender, which I didn't like. Like I was willingly giving up control to this woman that my previous self seemed to know really, really well. When you had a stubborn streak a kilometer long, when you were too used to being independent, it made no sense to me why I'd give up something like that. Letting someone have control over you was stupid. While I obeyed laws and rules for the most part, I liked knowing it was of my own free will and choice, that it was my decision even if I was fooling myself a bit on it. This seemed sort of like it was that, like it was my choice, then sort of like it was forced, and that's where the confusion came from.
All I got was that my previous self seemed to like it. A lot. A shudder passed through me in remembrance of one such time that the mystery woman had ordered and commanded me … my past self rather, about, defining everything … everything … that I was to do. From how and what order to remove my garments to how I should sit or lay to when I should climax. Further that I ask and seek permission to. And that I did. Fuck how I ever did. And what was possibly the worse thing about it, or maybe the best thing about it, was how much I liked it.
That had been a rough morning, ignoring the cat's confused looks to immediately barricade myself in the bathroom. It took a long cold shower before I felt like I could move of my own free will without my knees giving out from under me. Even still just remotely thinking about it had proven to be rough, often abruptly changing my plans to pace or go for a long jog. And I hated jogging. So to willingly do that meant it was particularly bad.
I had kept the agreement my ghostly past self had asked of me, relating not a word of it to Artemis no matter his looks and obvious concern. It felt odd in a way not telling him, but then again he wasn't the most forthcoming about a lot of things either. But for just a bit over a year I had done mostly what he had asked of me, even though I wanted to question all of it repeatedly and did, a lot. How could one give such vague directives and not expect questions anyway?
It was neither here nor there however. Instead the wind and the red ribbon kept my hair from my face, a welcomed thing as I currently was perched high up on a roof top of some five or seven story building. The premise was to be a lookout, but I knew there was more to it than that. On the lookout for what? The cat continually didn't tell me, other than I'd know it when I saw it. Well, I knew I wanted to be on the lookout for my bed. That sounded a lot more exciting and worthwhile than hanging out on the rooftops of Tokyo.
With little to go on other than to wait and watch, it was all I did. We had been in Japan now for almost a year, and almost every night it was the same. Be on the lookout. Artemis had joined me; rare that he went out with me for whatever he decided I needed to patrol, but tonight apparently I needed company. He was down below, hidden in some of the ornamental shrubbery for his own vantage point. Right, so the cat didn't have to jump and I did. It made perfect and completely utter nonsense to me. Fuck the cat.
Shifting on my feet I glanced up, catching the full light of the moon shining down. A few clouds covered the sky, drifting hazily across it as though they too were just as lazy. It was late at night; I had school the next day and being late yet again was going to land me with further detention. Funny how Artemis would rail my ass about being late and how I wasn't living up to my potential yet he had no problem with yelling at me to get up, out of bed whenever there was some fucking danger running amok.
He was frankly impossible to please, but the only real link I had to whatever life expected me to do. I thought about, at times, mentioning the ghost but something she had said always got me to stop. Not that I'd go off and break my word but it was still the idea. He wouldn't understand, he wouldn't approve per my ghostly self. Well he hardly approved of me as it were, so why couldn't I just make it worse for the sake of answers?
What had been destroyed? Why were there things and people so intent on killing me? What was so damn important about protecting the Princess, regardless of the fact that I had been sworn to? What was so shocking about the Queen? Why did it come about? Who was this raven haired lover that set my world afire? Why the fuck was I alone again?
God, it would have been so easy to just ask the questions, to get the answers. The more the visions had haunted me the more that I wanted to know. Even the ones that were of death. Certainly I wanted to know more about this woman that my past self was head over sandals for, but I wanted to know a lot more too. The whys and the hows. The where and the whens. I released a breath, gaze narrowing behind the mask that did a remarkable job for making me untraceable.
"I wonder if she would have liked that one more. It had more of the colors that she preferred on it."
My eyes rose from the view below to beside me, taking in my spectred self. It wasn't like I was used to it now; I really wasn't used to anything, but it wasn't quite so surprising to see her. Generally on a full moon was when the ghost would show up, if she was meant to at all. Sometimes it was every month, sometimes as much as seven or eight had passed before the figure would reappear.
The ghost was still in the same attire as when she had first appeared. Apparently my getup now was something she had worn before, but chose not to appear in. There was probably a really good reason for it, one that I should ask about, but instead found myself asking about other things that were entirely different yet related. "Your phantom, mysterious lover?"
A smile was her answer, and dare she say just a bit of a blush. Her hands hooked into her sword belt, rocking back and forth on her heels for a moment as her color solidified from its blue-white transparent state of being. It was still disturbing to look through her, but at least when she was well, more solidly here like this it wasn't so bad. "She was mysterious yes. I never would have thought she'd have it in her."
"So… that whole … commanding thing really happened?" The memory struck me, cause me to bite hard on the inside of my mouth. My fingers tightened against the roof edge, feet almost dancing for a moment before my legs pressed tightly together. Fuck even mentioning it in passing was just as bad as remembering it full on.
My past self took pity on me, a sympathetic smile given. "You remember that… of course you would. It was a … very special time." Her ghostly self grinned, shaking her head, opting to change the subject if just to prevent a memory induced orgasm from happening right then and there. "I see the Mau is progressing along with you."
"When he's not jumping my ass for sleeping." I muttered, loud enough to be heard but not loud enough that the cat would catch me. That was not the way to bring to his attention to the fact that I knew more than I was letting onto. Sometimes ignorance was bliss, no matter how it hurt.
"They say sleeping in is giving in… but those that rarely received a full night's sleep know better. He slept perfectly fine; we were the ones often having to wake him up. Cats are cats, no matter their origin. They love sunlight and they love naps, and if you happen to have left out something like a cloak or a shirt that they deemed was soft enough, you'd get it back with cat hair all over it."
It sounded like the Artemis of now was still the same. Sometimes my uniform was just cast off where the fuck ever I decided to strip at. More often than not I'd return to him curled up asleep on it, especially if it was over a chair or the back of the couch. I hated laundry as it was, so he really wasn't helping matters at all. I made some sound of agreement, still not seeing the point of why I was out here tonight, looking for something that didn't want to be found.
My ghostly past self looked like she was about to say something further when she frowned. No, she scowled, muttering under her breath something that sounded so beautiful despite the fact she felt it was a curse. She was probably cussing up a storm, but it sounded hard to believe when it was that pretty. Her eyes looked at me, sorrowful before she vanished without another word much less sound.
I realized why when Artemis jumped up to the railing by my hands a few moments later. My past self sure didn't like the cat she realized more and more. Something must have happened, but it would be harder than my math homework to figure out. Speaking of homework, I let out a soft fuck in realization. I had homework to do tonight, and instead I was spending it out here like some dumbass. Not only detention but I'd be standing out in the hallway yet again. Fuck I was so tired of that.
The cat realized my foul mood, wisely changing what he was going to say about lingering out here for another half hour to instead encourage me that I could go back home. The intensity of my glare though he wasn't expecting, taking a step back before I rolled my eyes, shaking my head to mutter about wastes of time. I turned away, looking and mapping out the best course to return home, given that I was half the city away from it. Without a word I lept to another building top, knowing he'd follow whenever he was ready to.
And that was just fine with me.
