So, in celebration of finishing up writing chapter 7, I decided to splurge and post a second chapter this week! I will usually be posting once a week, but chapter 7 was a big one and I'm happy with the results, so this is how I'll share my happy.
Thank you all for your response to this story! It's an absolute joy to share it with you, and you're comments and kudos make my day! This chapter is a push for the boys, and leads to a pretty big moment, so enjoy!
-B
…
"Hi, one medium drip, and a –" Blaine began, looking over at Kurt, unsure of what he wanted to order.
"It's okay, I'll get my own," Kurt shook his head, taking a slight step backwards.
"Kurt, just order," Blaine told him. He looked back at the girl standing behind the counter and mouthed a 'sorry' before returning his gaze back to Kurt. "You can get the next one." He said hoping that Kurt would accept the trade.
"A medium non-fat mocha, please," Kurt mumbled before making his way to a small table in the corner of the coffee shop, waiting for Blaine to join him.
Minutes later, Blaine made his way to the table with two cups in his hand. He set one in front of Kurt and took the seat across from him. "Thanks for agreeing to come."
"Did I really have a choice?" Kurt asked flatly, taking the warm coffee into his hands.
Blaine frowned, concerned that Kurt felt forced into their meeting. "Of course, you did. I would have let you go if you said no," he added sincerely before taking a sip of coffee.
"No, I know, that wasn't fair. Sorry." Kurt looked down at the table guiltily.
"It's fine. A lot has happened recently with us, I can understand your agitation." Blaine shrugged, wishing that things were less awkward.
"That's an understatement," Kurt chuckled, finally letting himself look up into the soft hazel eyes that he knew for certain were looking back at him.
"So, um…can we talk about what happened?" Blaine asked cautiously. He didn't want to push Kurt into an even more uncomfortable position than he already was, but he needed to know what had happened the previous night.
"Which time?" Kurt quipped, giving Blaine a small smile in an attempt to lighten the mood.
Blaine smiled back, happy that Kurt was making an effort. "Last night," he said as he chewed on his bottom lip. "I just...I guess that I want to know why you ran."
"I freaked out a little," Kurt said quietly, unsure if he wanted to completely explain his thought process from last night. "Everything was great, and then it was all happening so fast, and I panicked."
"Why couldn't you just have told me that though? You didn't need to run," Blaine sighed, setting his cup down. "You could have told me that it was too much, and I would have backed off, Kurt. Instead, you flipped and left me hanging."
"I know, and I need you to know that it wasn't you." Kurt took another sip of his drink. "You…you were great. I just panicked."
"So you said. I guess what really confuses me is the fact that you never indicated that you didn't want what I did," Blaine admitted, looking down at the table and fiddling with the lid of his coffee. "I didn't feel like you gave me any mixed signals. Hell, when I tried to kiss you, you looked at my lips, Kurt. And your eyes..." He let his eyes flutter back up to Kurt's. "There was nothing in your eyes that told me to stop. Just the opposite, actually."
"That's because I…" Kurt paused, closing his eyes. He took a deep breath to gather his thoughts. "…I wanted to kiss you, more than you know. It's just not that simple, Blaine."
"Why?" Blaine asked, beginning to feel irritated once again. Why couldn't it be that simple?
"I told you, Blaine. You don't want me." Kurt shook his head as he brought his cup down to rest on the coffee table. "Just trust me," he added, drumming his fingers lightly on the table.
"But I do! I already told you that, Kurt." He said confused as to why Kurt was so convinced that Blaine wouldn't want him.
"You don't even know me, Blaine. You know a tiny bit about me, and that's all. You don't know who I actually am, and trust me, if you did know, you'd understand why you don't want me." Kurt watched Blaine's jaw tighten and his gaze fell back on to the table, where Kurt continued to tap his fingers.
"How can you say that?" Blaine finally asked after the silence had become too much. "You don't truly know me either, Kurt. How can you tell me that I won't want you when you don't know me properly. How can you know what I want?" He looked back up at Kurt, whose eyes were still trained on his tapping fingers.
"Because. Nobody wants something that's broken," Kurt whispered without thinking, his eyes quickly shooting up to meet Blaine's, unsure and scared of what was going to happen next.
"I –" Blaine started before closing his mouth, unsure of how to respond. Blaine knew that they weren't far enough in their friendship to ask why Kurt felt the way that he did. He'd ask one day, but this was not the time.
"Anyways," Kurt finally said, looking up at Blaine and letting a small smile grace his perfect lips. "You have mentioned on many occasions the idea of being friends…" He giggled a little when Blaine's eyes lit up at the direction the conversation seemed to be heading.
"I really don't want to sound desperate, but I'd do anything for us to be friends," Blaine said hesitantly. "You seem like an amazing person, and if friends are what you want us to be, then friends are what I'll take."
"I know I said earlier that I didn't want to be, but you clearly don't seem like you're going to go anywhere unless I agree." Kurt meant to tease, but Blaine's smile quickly disappeared, only to be replaced by a look of guilt.
"No, I don't want you to do this because you think I'll pester you until you cave," Blaine said sincerely, toying with the lid of his coffee again. "I told you that if you didn't want to be friends after this coffee thing, then I'd drop it. I meant that. If you don't want to see me ever again, I will respect that and leave you alone."
"Blaine." The tone of Kurt's voice caused Blaine's head to snap up, his eyes meeting Kurt's beautiful blues. "Being your friend sounds nice."
…
Wrapping his arms around his middle, Blaine watched as the lights of the city flickered behind the mass of trees that stood in front of them. They had somehow made their way from the coffee shop into central park, and were now sitting on a bench in a secluded area.
"So, I never did ask what you do here," Kurt said, breaking the comfortable silence that they had fallen in to. "In New York, I mean. We established that you came here so that you could be you, but what do you do now?"
"Oh um, I'm actually heading in to my second year at NYU," Blaine told him.
"So, you went back to school?"
"I did. Clearly becoming a doctor wasn't what I was supposed to do, but when I was in Westerville coaching the warblers, I realized that I really did love working with the guys, so now I'm halfway through getting my bachelor's in education." He beamed talking about it. "I don't want to teach high school, though. I mean, the warblers were great, but the kids from my high school weren't, so I'm thinking elementary, maybe fourth or fifth grade." He looked up over the tops of the trees at the buildings towering overhead.
"That's a big change," Kurt mused, tilting his head as he watched Blaine.
"I know, but I was only taking pre-med to please my dad, and now that I no longer feel the need to do that, I'm doing what I really want to do. I love it so far."
"I'm glad," Kurt smiled at him. "You deserve to do something that you love."
"What about you?" Blaine asked, turning his gaze to the boy sitting next to him. "I bet it's exciting to work for Vogue, and it's really cool that you get to work in a field that you enjoy."
"Yeah – yeah, it's great," Kurt said quickly, adverting his eyes from Blaine's. "It's really great."
"You don't sound very sure of that."
Kurt took a deep breath. "No, I mean, Vogue's great. I love fashion, and to get to work so closely with something I love is amazing. It's just a lot, you know? When I was an intern, the most stressful thing that I had to do was make sure that I didn't screw up Isabelle's coffee order, and now it seems like almost everything is dependent on me."
"But I mean, the head editor probably helps quite a bit?" It came out as more of a question than a statement.
"Not as much as you might think." Kurt shook his head. "He deals more with events and making sure that everything gets out on time, whereas I make sure everything is turned in on time, that the formatting is right, and that everything is perfect and ready to go. There's no room for flaws at Vogue, and I'm the one that makes sure it stays that way. It can get to be a bit much."
"Sounds like you could use some breathing room," Blaine empathized as he chewed on his bottom lip.
Kurt let out a sarcastic laugh, letting his head fall back as he did. "You have no idea. I could use a month off, really. But everything would go to shit if I took one, so I trudge through."
"But you shouldn't have to just trudge through," Blaine frowned.
"No, maybe not, but I make it work."
"Well, try and at least de-stress every once and a while, okay?"
"Yeah," Kurt agreed quietly, looking down at his now twiddling thumbs. "Anyways, as much as I've enjoyed talking to you and all, it's getting late and tomorrow is an early start for me, so I should probably head home." Kurt noticed Blaine's frown and the disappointment flashing across his eyes.
Blaine had an early class the next morning, so he knew that Kurt was right and that he should head home as well, but he really didn't want to leave.
"Probably a good idea," he murmured, looking down at Kurt's hands as well. "Thank you for coming tonight. I know that it was a surprise and that you didn't really want to."
"No. Hey," Kurt said quickly, reaching out to place a finger under Blaine's chin and pushing it up so that their eyes met once again. "I'm glad I came, and I'm glad that I finally agreed that we can be friends. Maybe it wasn't what I wanted at first, but I'm glad I got past that."
Blaine nodded in agreement, his eyes moving from Kurt's gaze to trace his features before ultimately falling on his lips. He licked his lips, before bringing his eyes back up to Kurt's. When he saw the panic that began to form in Kurt's eyes, he reminded himself that they were friends, and he wouldn't push Kurt to be more. "I'll...um…see you soon?" he asked as he tried to push away thoughts of how Kurt's fingers still rested on his chin, and how if he leaned forwards just a little bit, his lips would meet Kurt's. Friends. They were friends.
"Yeah, yeah soon," Kurt agreed, letting his hand fall into his lap causing Blaine to frown at the sudden loss of contact.
"Um, call me? Or text me, and we can hang out again?" Blaine asked as he stood. Kurt nodded in agreement, mimicking Blaine and standing up.
"Goodnight, Blaine," he whispered before walking away.
Blaine let his eyes fall shut, chastising himself for letting things get a little carried away near the end of their conversation. He hadn't meant to make Kurt uncomfortable, yet he still had. He had let himself get caught up once again, and he had almost made the same mistake that he had the night before. He was just happy that he had caught it before Kurt had run away from him again. Blaine took a deep breath, opening his eyes once again to make his way out of the park and back home.
…
Blaine made his way slowly down the street, eyes dancing over the million lights that surrounded him. He had intended to head home after leaving the park, but had found himself taking a left turn instead of a right turn, and now he was aimlessly wandering the streets of Manhattan, taking in his surroundings while thoughts crashed through his brain like big tidal waves.
He was trying to figure out why he could not keep his feelings platonic towards Kurt, or at least why he could not push his romantic feelings aside in order to keep Kurt comfortable. He could manage it for a little while, but one too many glances into Kurt's ocean blue eyes and Blaine was gone, unable to stop his heart from speeding up, unable to stop the hitch in his breath. All he had wanted in that moment when Kurt's fingers rested bellow his chin, touch burning into Blaine's skin igniting a flame that he never wanted to burn out, was to close the gap between them and let his lips fall onto Kurt's. His brain knew that he couldn't do it, but his body yearned to feel Kurt's beautiful lips pressed against his. He wanted to feel Kurt wordlessly pour his feelings out to Blaine, and to return the same passion. But Kurt wanted friendship and nothing more.
I wanted to kiss you, more than you know.
Kurt words rang throughout his head. If he wanted so badly to kiss him, then why wouldn't he just give in and do it? Blaine couldn't understand what was holding Kurt back. Why wouldn't he just let go?
Because, nobody wants something that's broken.
Blaine didn't understand. Kurt was perfect in every sense of the word. He was gorgeous with his perfectly styled chestnut hair and his flawless, milky skin. Not to mention his kind-hearted personality and the ability to make whomever he talked to feel at home. He was perfection wrapped up beautifully and tied together with a bow. Broken or not, there was no way that anybody could spend time with this man and not want to know more about him, or to have him in their lives. He had this magnetic quality to him that made people feel the needed to talk to him, to know him.
Kurt believed that he was broken... and maybe he was in a way that Blaine couldn't understand because he didn't know enough about him yet. But if he was broken, then who the hell had done it? Who in their right mind had been okay with shattering such a beautiful human being? Who had such a hard heart that they could break him, and walk away from him without feeling even the slightest bit of remorse? But broken or not, Kurt was still absolutely perfect to Blaine, flaws and all.
This was all crazy. Blaine didn't fall for strangers. He didn't feel such strong feelings towards people he had met less then forty-eight hours prior. Hell, he had a hard time feeling this strongly towards people that he had known for months. His past relationships had all plummeted after a couple months, all because Blaine couldn't quite get to where the other guy wanted him to be; he was always a little behind in the feelings process. Boyfriends would let the 'I love you' slip, and Blaine would respond with an awkward 'thank you,' knowing that he wasn't at that point yet. Then all hell would break loose. The other men would let it go for a while, but would eventually try to coax the words out of Blaine – only to get the same dissatisfying response every time – and would eventually lose it. Fights would ensue, increasing in frequency until fighting was more common than civil conversations. Every time, Blaine would be accused of leading the other guy on, and after protesting and telling them that he just needed more time, they would throw out a few insults before walking away, leaving Blaine to deal with not only the heartbreak, but the idea that he could never be good enough for another person.
He had quickly become more and more cautious when it came to dating, and now avoided relationships altogether, deeming them pointless as they all seemed to end the same.
Yet here he was, wanting nothing more than to be in a relationship with a man he had met just the night before.
…
The next day had gone by achingly slow for Blaine. His classes had seemed to go on for an eternity, and thoughts of the previous night flooded the back of his mind continuously. Then there was the fact that he had yet to hear from Kurt. Blaine had told himself over and over that friends didn't always call right away, and that it could take days before Kurt called him, if he did at all. Still, he couldn't stop the excitement he felt every time his phone when off, followed by disappointment that it wasn't Kurt who was contacting him.
Blaine sighed, letting his eyes fall shut as his body fell back on to his bed. After classes had finished, he had made his way to the small café that he worked part time for. It had been a busy night, and he was happy to now be home and able to just relax.
"We should watch a movie," Sam said as he stepped into Blaine's room, causing Blaine to groan in protest. "Oh, come on! You're gone all day – not to mention all evening yesterday – and then you expect to just come home and go to bed? You're a terrible host."
"It's not my fault that you pushed me to go see Kurt," Blaine grumbled as he peeked one eye open to look at the blonde who now stood next to his bed.
"Oh please, if I hadn't pushed you to go, you would still be grumping around here, and I couldn't take another minute of your bitchiness." Sam rolled his eyes before playfully smacking Blaine's arm. "Now come on, get up."
Blaine groaned again when he spotted the time on his phone screen. "Sam, it's just after midnight. I had classes for half of the day and then I worked the rest, and now I really just want to go to bed," he said, looking back up at the blonde. "Even if we were to start a movie, I guarantee I'd be out before the first scene even started."
"You're no fun," Sam huffed.
Blaine rolled his eyes. "You can be such a drama queen sometimes." Sam stuck his tongue out before sitting down on the edge of the bed. "How about a movie night tomorrow? I work until five, and then the rest of the evening I'm yours." He propped himself up onto his elbows. "Fair?"
"Fine. Fair," Sam agreed, eyes shooting towards Blaine's phone when it began ringing, its screen lighting up the dim room. Blaine scrambled for the phone, eyes lighting up when he read the name that flashed across the screen. He picked up the call, holding the phone in front of his face. "Of course you're awake now that he wants your attention." Sam scoffed, realizing who was calling. He stood from the bed, rolling his eyes playfully at Blaine, who shot him an apologetic look. "Just don't stay up too late, lover boy."
"You're the best!" Blaine called out before turning his attention to the phone. "Kurt?" he asked, realizing he hadn't properly answered the phone yet. "Hey, sorry about that," he added when there was silence on the other side. "Kurt, are you there?"
"Y – yes." The stuttered answer came out between ragged breaths.
"Are you okay?" Blaine asked quickly in worry. "Kurt what's going on, you're breathing funny."
"I – I, um…we're friends, yeah?" Kurt asked, causing Blaine's frown to deepen.
"Of course. We already established that, Kurt. What's going on?"
"Friends, help friends, out, right?" Kurt replied, voice quiet. Blaine quickly moved so that he was now sitting on his bed. If he listened closely, he could hear music playing loudly in the background of wherever Kurt was.
"Kurt, are you alright? You're kind of starting to freak me out."
"I need your help," Kurt breathed, his voice shaky in between the quick harsh breaths. "I need you to come get me. Please Blaine. I need you."
"Where are you?" Blaine asked, springing up from the bed, grabbing his wallet, and walking out of his room. There was no response. "Kurt, where are you?"
"I'm down at Sapphire," Kurt answered, his voice weak and higher than usual. "The club down on – "
"I know where it is, I'll be there right away." Blaine said quickly, grabbing his keys off of the coffee table. He called out to Sam that he had to go and that he'd explain later.
"I – I'm in the bathroom," Kurt whispered. "Please hurry."
The line when flat. Blaine flew out of his apartment, opting to go down the stairs as the elevator seemed too slow. He hopped two stairs at a time and jogged to the parking garage, before hurriedly getting in his car and pulling out of the building. He was on his way to Kurt, hoping that everything was going to be okay. Hoping that Kurt would be okay.
