Disclaimer: These characters clearly don't belong to me, am simply borrowing them for the purpose of this story.
AN: This is the final part of this little story, hope it doesn't disappoint too much. This chapter could probably be described as angst.
Together Chapter Four
She closes the door with more relief than she ever thought she could. Lisbon locks and bolts both herself and Jane inside and feels a little of the days' tension begin to evaporate. Jane has left her to do this chore alone while he attends to dishing up their take out dinner. And hopefully pour them both a large glass of wine.
It's 10.30pm and it has been what feels like the longest day of Teresa Lisbon's career. She is exhausted, has the beginnings of a tension headache and feels that she will never be able to relax again. Not until what they have been planning these last hours has been accomplished at least. She wonders for about the thirtieth time in the last 4 hours if she will ever lose the knot of fear that has taken up residence in her stomach.
"Lisbon, you need to come eat before our food gets cold."
She hangs up her coat while trying to stifle the smile that arises from his unconscious use of our. She knows it shouldn't bring her so much pleasure when everything around her is so desperately nerve-wracking, and yet... She can't help it; Lisbon has decided to allow herself the pleasure of acknowledging her own feelings. The joy of it is almost enough to quiet the voice in her head that has been relentlessly yelling at her that everything is going to go to hell tomorrow.
She moves further into her home to join Jane and try and attempt normal for at least a few moments before exhaustion forces her to give in and actually attempt some sleep.
"You should take off your guns and relax, Lisbon. I thought we agreed we would lock that door and try and rest, tomorrow will come soon enough."
"I know, but I might need some of that wine first. And I need you to feed me too."
He smiles at her, and hands her a plate filled with lasagne as she sits close beside him on her sofa. They eat in silence, hungry enough to need the nourishment but too concerned with consuming the meal to savour the food and the flavour. They finish too quickly of course, laughing softly at their antics as they realise they have essentially inhaled their very late dinner. Lisbon picks up her glass of wine and leans back to relax against Jane, tucking her feet up onto the couch to properly rest for a short while.
"I can feel how tense you are Lisbon, would you like a massage?"
She can feel his smile against the top of her head as he moves his body so close to her that she can feel his breath in her hair.
"Maybe another night Jane. What I really want is to go over our plans for tomorrow again."
He sighs, moving away from her suddenly in frustration and apparent weariness. He leans his elbows on his knees and leans forward to bury his face in his hands.
"I don't want to talk about him anymore, Teresa. Tomorrow will come soon enough, and all of us are ready. I don't want to go over again how much danger I am putting you in. I want to find a vault somewhere and lock you inside and keep you safe. I know that can't happen, that you would never allow it – but it's what I want more than anything. I have to believe that we might bring all of this to some sort of end tomorrow, but I feel sick about what you are being asked to do."
She slides her hand over to take his right hand between both of hers, kissing the back of his hand - allowing her lips to linger for several moments to emphasise her absolute need to care for him.
"I am being asked to do my job, Jane. I am going to do my job tomorrow and apprehend a serial killer. We will do this, all of us – together. I have to believe that. Red John thinks he is ahead of us, that he's going to take me. But we'll be ready. And we will stop him."
"I'll kill him if he hurts you, you have to know that Teresa."
She pulls him back to lean against her this time when she hears the supressed terror in his words.
"He's not going to get a chance to touch me, because you and the guys are one step ahead of him. He's forgotten how good we actually are at our jobs, too busy planning what he's going to do to me that he's forgotten to cover his tracks well enough. He bought our little show today, didn't he?"
He kisses her shoulder, breathing in and out for several beats before he is ready to give voice to his thoughts.
"I know all of this rationally, but there is still so much that could go wrong."
"It won't."
"But it could, and I'm entitled to worry. I am entitled to worry about you Teresa."
He kisses her shoulder again, but she is gratified when she feels the more sensuous touch of his lips this time.
"We've been over and over the plan. We are going to catch Red John tomorrow, and it's going to start to be over for you. I promise."
She turns her head to meet his lips with an answering kiss of her own this time, closing her eyes to better savour his nearness and his unguarded affection. They trade soft kisses for a few moments, more happy with the closeness than arousal right now. Jane pulls back to cradle Lisbon's face between his hands as he stares at her slightly swollen lips.
"Part of me thinks this is all too easy, Lisbon. Do we really catch a serial killer because he under estimates us? But then today proved that we are on step ahead of him, I can't quite believe he didn't realise we were putting on a show for him this afternoon in the café. And that gives me hope that we are finally ready to catch him, and that leaving you here tomorrow morning won't be the most dangerous mistake I could ever make."
"I have a lot of guns, Jane, and I'm good with that. And I expect him, so I'll be ready. And so will all of you. It will be okay. I wish you didn't have to go through this, but we are so close and you have to be brave for one more day. And you have to keep your promise to not be reckless with your life, and try and accept that Red John might end up in jail tomorrow rather than in the morgue. You have to remember your promise that we mean enough for you not to be reckless with your life and your choices."
His palms remain moulded to her cheeks, his thumb grazing her bottom lip as he contemplates her lovely face. He wants to go upstairs and sleep beside her, but he is resigned to saying words of comfort and truth before he is permitted to enjoy that luxury.
"I won't be reckless, mainly because I'll be too busy worrying about you my darling."
She smiles at Jane and suddenly she looks years younger, and utterly exhausted.
"Why are you smiling Agent Lisbon?"
He whispers the words against her lips, stealing a kiss before she has the opportunity to respond.
"I thought you were finished with calling me 'my darling' now that we are off camera. I assumed the over the top endearments were for Red Johns benefit."
Jane leans to kiss her again, just the merest brush of his lips against hers but they both close their eyes to savour the emotional connection they have so recently decided to acknowledge.
"Nope, over the top endearments are going to become a daily part of your life Lisbon. Not at work obviously, but the rest of the time I'm very much looking forward to seeing you turn that exact shade of pink when I call you darling…"
To emphasise his intent he pulls Lisbon against him again and kisses her till they are both breathless and oddly joyful.
Lisbon pulls away from him slowly, kissing his cheek to try and calm herself as much as Jane.
"So we're agreed that you'll be careful tomorrow Jane, as careful as you can because I need for you to be around. You know that, I need for you to stay."
He pulls her back against him, weary and nervous yet with an unnerving amount of happiness threatening to overwhelm him at the same time. He wishes he could communicate to her adequately how very much he needs her in return.
"I'm staying Teresa. In the few moments today that we weren't either plotting or planning for tomorrow, I lay back on your couch and escaped to our imagined future. Can you guess what I saw?"
She doesn't feel able to answer him, so shakes her head against his shoulder and tightens her hold around his waist.
"I anticipate happiness, Teresa. I can see it. I will taste it on your skin."
He kisses her cheek, leaning against her for several seconds to better savour her.
"Do you believe me, happiness… I will be able to read it in the beautiful green of your eyes, and be able to hear it in your voice."
"What about when I yell at you?"
He chuckles and kisses her softly just below her ear.
"Foreplay my dear; foreplay."
They sit together for a while longer, enjoying the quiet and whatever peace remains before tomorrow and they attempt to catch Red John when they wake. Eventually Teresa stands and takes Jane's hand to lead him upstairs in a repeat of the previous night.
"Do you want to shower, or just go to bed?"
He smiles at her, and leans down to kiss her cheek just because he can.
"I'm exhausted Lisbon, would you think less of me if I just wanted to crawl into bed with you?"
She shakes her head no and watches as he moves to sit on her bed and remove his shoes. For a few seconds she thinks about a day when this could be their bed. Her next thought is of how truly exhausted she must be if she can waste time on daydreams right now. She pulls her shirt over her head, happy to out of the clothes she feels she has been wearing for about a week. She throws the shirt on a chair as she hears Jane call her name, and it's such a mournful cry she instinctively moves closer to him.
"Lisbon, look at your beautiful skin."
He holds out his hands to clasp both of hers in his. He is staring at the bruising on her stomach, the welts and discoloured skin on her arms… So much has happened in the last days that outside the slight discomfort she has been enduring all day she could almost forget she was a guest of Red John only yesterday. Jane pulls her closer to him again and with all the gentleness he possesses he leans forward to breathe kisses against her bruised skin. He moves his hands to her hips and buries his face against her, close to tears now that he can see his fears for her written all over her skin.
Lisbon runs her hand through his hair, trying to comfort him but determined not to make tonight about the man who has destroyed so many lives. She wants these hours to be about the two of them and what they could become without his further interference in their lives. If she is honest with herself, she just wants Jane but is nervous with how he will react to this information. And she isn't entirely convinced either that complicating their relationship further would be the wisest step… Perhaps it would be best to leave a little distance between them until tomorrow is over.
He looks up at her, uncomfortable that she has been silent so long.
"Hey, what are you thinking Teresa?"
She can feel her cheeks begin to colour, and wishes for the thousandth time she didn't always wear her emotions on her skin. Perhaps this time, however, honesty would be the simplest response. So while her hands caress his scalp, and indulgently toy with his curls Lisbon decides to tell Jane exactly what's been on her mind
"I was thinking that I want you, Jane. That I want to be as close to you as possible until my alarm ruins everything tomorrow at 6.30am and forces me to get up and face the day."
He smiles at her in answer to her words, and at her unambiguous intent.
"I know Jane, right? Please don't laugh at me; I was trying to be honest. But I know if someone gave me the "I want to be close to you" line then I would be gone. I'm sorry, can we forget about it and try to sleep?"
In answer Jane clumsily pulls Lisbon down to sprawl across him as he leans back on her bed. His momentum means their first kiss is brief and more lip to nose than lip to lip, but it leads to a second and then a third kiss and those are breathless and perfect. Lisbon is attempting to liberate Jane from his shirt when she feels his hands slip from her ass to join her own on his buttons.
"Teresa are you…"
"If the next word out of your mouth is sure then you are sleeping on my couch tonight."
He smiles at her again as he moves them further up the bed so they are lying on their sides, face to face. The way Jane is looking at her has Lisbon suddenly nervous, almost afraid. She has been with lovers before where being together has meant something; but she has never been with anyone where is has meant everything. And neither has she ever been with anyone where she's truly believed she is precious to that person; but the way Jane is looking at her now convinces her of how truly she is loved.
As she pulls him into her impassioned embrace her final lucid thought is that this might be her last chance to show him how much she loves him in return.
Jane rests fitfully throughout the evening. He is physically exhausted from the pleasure of loving Teresa long into the night, but his mind won't allow him to sleep beside her. Instead he lies with her draped across his chest, one of her hands low on his stomach, the other in his own so that he might tangle their fingers together. He wants to stay here in this moment with Teresa for the rest of his life, he knows he could be ridiculously content and be happy and willing to wither from lack of nourishment if he could feel her skin against his like this for all the rest of his days.
"I can hear you brooding all the way down here, Patrick."
Her voice is hoarse and beautifully husky and just makes him want to stay here with her all the more. Instead his sensible Lisbon is already reaching over to turn off her alarm, before it goes off to disturb their early morning peace. He fears the moment already when she will remove the warmth of her body from his and move to start this dreadful day.
"It's going to be okay Patrick, we're going to catch him. I won't allow anything else, okay?"
He is about as far away from okay than he has ever been in the last ten years, but he appreciates her valiant efforts to move positively into the day. He feels an overwhelming compulsion to be honest with her one last time this morning.
"Love you, Teresa."
She kisses his chest in response, whispering against his skin that she loves him in return. He feels wetness from where her tears fall on his chest, but he remains silent about this and savours the feel of her sweet lips against him.
"Can I ask you to do something for me Lisbon?"
"Of course, you can ask me anything."
"When we make it through this…"
She kisses his neck in response to his words, thanking him with her touch for his apparent willingness to think beyond today.
"Will you come away with me for a few weeks, let me take you away?"
"Do you want to go and sit on a beach for a while?"
He tightens his hold on her, tracing the soft skin on her hips with the tips of his fingers. He thinks, suddenly, of how very lucky he is and that he owes Teresa absolute honesty now.
"No darling, I want to go somewhere cold. We both know I'll have bad days after this is over, and I want to go somewhere quiet, with you, and hide away. I want to sit in a cabin, look out the window at the views and be quiet. I think I'll need you sitting beside me, holding my hand. Maybe I'll drive you a little crazy by insisting you let me read to you, while you lie with your head in my lap. And I'll make you go for long walks in the cold just so we can come home and go to bed to make each other warm again. Would you come with me, Teresa?"
"Of course, of course I will."
They lie together in silence, thinking of a wooden cabin and walks in the wood. And after.
All too soon Lisbon kisses Jane softly and heads to the shower. He can't resist following her, just needing to be close to her more than anything else. So he helps her wash her hair, and then they wash each other almost chastely and then dress and get ready for the hours to come.
They repeat their quick breakfast from the day before, Jane sips tea nervously while Lisbon inhales cup after cup of coffee. They are silent now, emotions too close to the surface and raw.
Lisbon is to be left alone in her apartment, left as bait in what will hopefully be the last game they play with Red John.
Lisbon helps Jane into his jacket, hovering close beside him and just wanting to touch him for a few more moments. She is prepared to endure whatever today brings, but for a few moments she wants to be Teresa saying goodbye to Patrick. She hugs him close to her, reaching up to kiss the underside of his jaw. She whispers final words to him, and then lets him go. Jane is on the verge of tears whilst he is in her arms but as he opens the door and steps out into the outside world his expression is implacable. If he is being watched he wants to give nothing away.
Jane walks slowly to his car, already missing the calming presence of Teresa Lisbon. She should be with him so that he can rest his hand on the small of her back; increasingly it's the only way he can feel whole. But he'll have to manage without her warmth until the day is through. He has work to do today, scores to settle; both new and old.
He thinks of Teresa's last words to him, "We're going to do this, together. I love you."
And he drives away, leaving her utterly alone.
AN: And that's it. Truly.
