Title: He was never mine chapter 4/?
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just playing with them
Thanks: I really need to thank Black Purple Roses for her help and patience. Apart from her beta skills, she also needs to be praised for giving me the courage to finally post that story I've been working on for so long.
Synopsis: Nearly ten years after leaving high school, Lyla reflects upon Tim and how he found his match in Julie. Told through Lyla's POV, with some flashbacks.
A/N: I would like to thank all of you who left me a review, they all brightened my days… I would also like to encourage the anonymous lurkers who haven't dropped a word yet… I'm dying to hear what you think, even criticism as long as it is constructive…
Chapter 4 aka The Fight From Hell
Flashback
"Hey, Lyla said, coming up to her boyfriend. Are you planning on staying long?"
He was sitting on a bench outside the cafeteria and was reading a textbook.
"Uh? Oh, hey," he said, kissing her briefly before going back to his assignment.
She waited a few more minutes during which he completely ignored her then said:
"What are you working on?"
"Trig. The final is tomorrow and I'm not ready for it."
"Oh. I offered to study together more than once, why did you never tell me that you were having difficulties with it? Maybe I can help…"
"I don't have … difficulties, as you kindly put it, I've been doing fine most the time. It's just the last chapter I'm not getting. And it's starting to piss me off too."
"If it's just the last chapter, maybe it won't be in the final, and we can look it over this week end. I could help you relax, and then..." she sat down coyly, trailing her hands up his bicep, offering with a wink and a sly smile, "maybe we could study each other's anatomy. It's been a long time since we've gotten together."
He gave a humourless laugh, shoving her hand off of him.
"So the pristine Lyla Garrity is horny." It hurt her to hear him refer to her this way, like the rest of the town had done during their first affair. "You're either going to have to take the matter in your own hands, or it's going to have to wait. I need to master the last chapter for tomorrow."
"That's not what I meant and you know it," she retaliated. "Besides, are you really worried about tomorrow's final? The Tim Riggins I know didn't."
"Well, this Tim Riggins does. How many Tims Riggins are there to you Lyla?" He raised his eyebrows. "Anways, this one and only Tim Riggins needs to get at least a B at that test, you know, for that scholarship you keep bugging me about. My football's fine but I need to keep up good enough grades to get in."
"Okay then," Lyla said, going back to serious mode. "I didn't want to make you feel bad. Let me help you, I think I understood the last chapter, I can go over it with you."
For once, he relented and let her take a look at his homework. She briefly surveyed the exercises he had done and despised herself for feeling amazed that he had gotten everything right. He was right, the new Tim Riggins took his homework assignment very seriously. The last bit he had been working on was about the problematic chapter, and she perused it, trying to find out what he was missing to get it right.
"Do you know why you have trouble with it?" She asked. "Is it a certain part you're not getting, or is it just an overall thing?"
"I missed one lesson last week, remember? And then it started making less and less sense."
"That's what you get for skipping class."
The moment it got out of her mouth, she felt like slapping herself.
"I didn't skip," he said bitterly. "I spent the trig class puking my guts out at the nurse office. Gracie had been sick the previous day and she gave me her stomach bug when I went over for dinner."
"I'm sorry Tim, I thought it was just one of those days when you didn't feel like class. Since it was the only class we had together that day, I figured you had just gone to hang out with Jason or something."
"I haven't had one of those days in a long time," he said, with angry eyes.
And looking back, Lyla realized he wasn't lying. In fact, ever since the A&M scholarship had been discussed, Tim hadn't missed a single school day. He skipped a few classes here and there, but he had been pretty serious.
"I'm sorry. Why didn't you ask me for my notes? I would have lent them."
"Yeah, but you would have insisted for us to look them over together, and you know I hate that. Besides, since Mrs T. got my assignment from Trig and the other classes I missed, I figured I could catch up."
"Mrs T., uh?" Lyla said bitterly.
"She fetched me from the nurse's and got me back at her place. She made me chicken soup and fed me as many crackers as I could stomach."
She knew he wasn't used to being coddled, but still could tell from the glint in his eyes that he had liked that. She wondered if he had loved it because it was new or if it was because Tami had been doing the coddling.
"Anyway, after that day, I started having trouble with trig, but I thought I would get it being extra serious in that class but I just didn't. And now, it's killing my grades. I think that maybe I'm just missing some basic bit because I missed the introductory lecture."
"Okay then, let's start from the beginning," Lyla said, feeling resolved to be there for Tim.
They took the textbook and read back from the start. She could tell he was getting angsty and fidgety. After thirty minutes and no real result, she tried a different approach.
"How about we tried to make it about football so it's easier for you to relate to? It could be about a field and defense lines," she said, pointing out to a picture in the book.
Tim abruptly jumped to his feet and started picking his stuff.
"What?" she asked, not knowing what she had done, if anything at all.
"Do you really think I'm so stupid?" He burst out, in full anger mode. "Seriously Lyla, do you have self esteem issues? Because I really can't figure why else you would be dating a guy you believe to be such a moron. I'm not an idiot, and thank you for your help," he said irony dripping in his tone, "but I'm going to find a way to get it without resorting to fucking football analogies."
"Tim," she begged while he stormed away.
But he didn't come back, and neither did he spare her a look.
She had a sinking feeling in her stomach that he may not come back to her, ever.
&&&&&&&&
She tried to call him several times that night, leaving messages on his voicemail, some apologizing for making him feel stupid, others where she just yelled at him for being too hot-tempered. She barely slept that night, clutching her cellphone as a lifeline but he never called.
Laying in her bed, eyes wide open, Lyla started thinking about their relationship. She loved him, and she knew he loved her, even though getting him to say it was like pulling out a tooth (looking back, he had only said it a couple of times), but this communication problem was getting too huge to ignore and could cost them their relationship. When she was asking about serious topics like his scholarship, he felt like she was being pushy, she gathered from their fight, while she thought she was just doing the good girlfriend thing. That was something they needed to work on: she had to make him see that she only had his best interest in mind, but she also had to learn to butt out sometimes. Obviously, Tim Riggins wasn't your average boyfriend. Or at least, he wasn't like Jason Street. Looking back, she could tell that she had been disappointed when she had expected him to act like Jason would have. It was a little sad to realize that they had been dating for four months but on most aspects, he remained a mystery to her.
Communication, she thought, was the only thing that could save their relationship: she needed to make him feel safe enough that he would finally talk to her, and she had to learn to communicate in a way he wouldn't find intruding.
She really barely slept that night, trying to decipher the Tim Riggins communication system.
&&&&&
The next day, she didn't see him until Trig, and to say that she was anxious would be just an understatement. She felt on edge, eager to appease their quarrel and to become stronger together. She had all those great speeches she had rehearsed in her head, that she intended to deliver as soon as she managed to make him listen to her. She had even written down the main point she would be trying to make. She kept that list in her pocket for whenever the opportunity would appear, but it didn't.
When she finally saw Tim, he was just walking past her to sit at his usual tables, behind hers. The teacher handed them their assignment right away. After debating with herself for a few minutes, arguing whether or not God would approve she decided to sit a certain way at her table so that he could peek at her copy over her shoulder if he was having trouble. She briefly turned around to make him see her seating arrangement, but he didn't look up. He just started on writing. She spent the whole exam this way, writing down her answers then trying to catch a peak at him. He never met her eyes. He was alternating between answering, solving and perusing the exam sheet, all the time running his hand in his hair.
It was silly, but she would have given anything to meet his eyes and see that they everything was okay with them.
When the bell rang, she hadn't finished answering all the items and was grateful that she had gotten good marks all year long, possibly cushioning the possible failure of this exam. She turned to see Tim, after they had returned their copies but he was gathering his stuff quickly, with his poker face straight on. He breezed past her on his way out, not even acknowledging her presence, leaving her heart broken. When she got outside the classroom, she got assaulted by Landry:
"Hey Lyla. Is Tyra still inside?
"I'm not anymore," the blonde said, walking past the brunette and glaring at her. "Come on babe."
"Lyla" Landry managed to ask while Tyra was forcefully whisking him away with their hands gripped together, "do you know if Tim will come to my gig tomorrow?"
They were already gone when Lyla answered:
"I really don't know."
She then flew the hallways until she found herself in the relative privacy of a bathroom stall and started crying her eyes out over the things she didn't know and the few she did.
&&&&&&&&
That night, she decided she couldn't take the uncertainty anymore and wound up at the Riggins' place. She knocked and then wondered if Tim would be there or basking in the glory of the family life at the Taylors'. When she finally opened the door, she didn't feel relief, and new tears started pooling in her eyes. She looked at his closed face and whimpered:
"Tim…"
Sighing, he quickly cupped her face with his hands and kissed her with passion while leading her to his bedroom. Lyla felt sadness tug her heart when she realized how familiar the scene felt, reminding her of the time she came to find solace in his arms after Jason's accident. She then lost her trail of thought at the got behind closed doors.
They didn't speak afterwards, they just both pretended to be asleep, hoping that the new day would fix this.
They went back to their previous routines, and Lyla trashed the list she had made about their problems. She had been deluding herself with that and decided to try and go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens became her new motto.
Except it wasn't really. She kept worrying about the Trig final results. Not hers, Tim's, but she couldn't ask him how it had gone. Their broken relationship was the result of their first talk about it, she didn't want to think about what could happen if she brought it up.
So instead, she made her way to Mrs. Taylor's office.
"Lyla! Come in! Come in! How are you? Is there anything I can help you with?" Tami asked, gesturing for her to take a seat.
"I'm fine, Mrs T, my grades are good, you needn't worry about me."
"Okay then. If school isn't the issue, what brings you to my humble office? Family? Boyfriend? Work?"
"I'm worried about Tim," Lyla blurted out, wringing her hands together.
"About what? Did you try and talk to him about it?" Tami asked.
"No," Lyla said with a bitter laugh, "Tim and I are trying the non-talking thing right now. Can't say it's going too well, but we're still together, so it's okay."
Tami's raised eyebrow made her realize that she had just admitted to much more than she had intended. When she saw compassion color the woman's face, she quickly said:
"But that's really not the point. We're fine, really. It's really ok." She wanted to smack herself for overusing 'really', it was such a dead giveaway that they were not, indeed, fine. "I'm worried about his Trig results."
"Did Mr Buck give you back your copies already? He didn't communicate me the grade list, or maybe I just misplaced it. I really need to do something about this pigsty of an office" she said, motioning to her desk that didn't seem to be such a mess as far as Lyla was concerned.
"No, he didn't. It's just that Tim was really worried prior to the final because he hadn't mastered the last chapter, and he mentioned that it was crucial and could cost his scholarship in the end. It's making me nervous."
"I know. The Gracie's gastro-enteritis incident has been a major pain. I know that Tim was really stressed about the exam, but from what I gathered, thanks to his remedial trig, it should be okay."
"Remedial? I don't know anything about that. All I know is that the day before, he was edgy as hell because there was one chapter he didn't get. He blew me off really hard when I tried to help."
Tami looked at her with a confused expression, then shook her head, as if to sort out her thoughts and said:
"That's right, I remember, he was really annoyed, but mostly scared I guess. He felt a little less anxious once Tyra gave him a crash course on said chapter that night."
Lyla felt like she should be pinching her own arm, or grabbing the woman to shake some sense back into her.
"Tyra? Last time I checked, Tyra and Tim were barely on speaking terms. How come she would help him with trig?" Lyla asked, barely managing to not roll her eyes at the mere idea.
Mrs Taylor started looking uncomfortable before saying:
"She did it because Julie asked her to. You know how close they are."
Lyla felt blank, the world seemed to make sense to everybody but her, and since reality was so loopy, she wasn't sure she wanted to fit in it.
"I'm sorry?"
"Oh, honey…" Tami said with something close to pity in her eyes. "That night, Tim showed up at our house, to see Julie and vent out to her about his trig trouble I guess. Eric and I were having a romantic evening away when she called and asked if it was okay for her to invite a couple of friends over to have a cramming session. She promised that they would be extra silent so as not to disturb Gracie's sleep, but it was okay as far as I was concerned, so we agreed. She then called Tyra and Landry and she asked her to share with Tim the things she had understood on that lesson. Tyra was far from ecstatic but Julie is a Taylor, and she gets things done. Besides, they're so close, Tyra couldn't say no to her. She agreed to help Tim with Trig while Julie and Landry went over some history paper."
"How cozy," Lyla thought, "a couple cramming session."
"When we came back around midnight, they were still revising, with Landry and Julie acting as buffer between Tyra and Tim each time they got a little mad. They managed to get the whole chapter done before one in the morning when Landry drove Tyra home and Tim just crashed on our couch. He was so nervous, I just didn't feel like he should be driving anywhere that night, so we gladly took him in. But I really think the cramming session worked: last time he was over, though he kept on being extremely cautious, he admitted that Julie's idea had worked out for the best, and that he was hoping to get a good mark. But Sweetie, what you should remember…" Tami started.
"What should I remember? Please tell me… Should I remember that your daughter didn't think for a second about inviting me to help my boyfriend get over some Trig trouble but felt it was okay to call his ex-girlfriend?" Lyla asked with rage, unshed tears in her eyes.
"Sweetie, calm down. Calm down and please don't jump to conclusions. I think Tim didn't want anybody there, he just came by looking for a friendly ear. The whole Tyra thing was just Julie's way to find a solution that would benefit her two best friends, and Tim trusted her on this," Tami explained calmly. "How could he not trust her? She has been helping him with his homework for months, they even get together every Sunday morning before church to discuss what he should start learning or revising, she's been pretty much of a slave-driver when it comes to Tim's homework. So far it has worked out perfectly. Try and talk to Tim. I know that you probably won't get a great Shakespearian monologue out of the guy, but you can work on your communication problem together. What is the main problem here?"
"You," Lyla wanted to scream, "you and your damn family are the problem. He keeps talking with you, and being happy with you while I remain his lousy and clingy girlfriend. It should be the other way around. It's always you, you, you!"
But she bit her tongue and just left the office without saying another word.
A few days later, when they got their finals grades, Tim gave her a non committed smile, when he discovered that he had gotten a B+. He then addressed a more secure smile to Tyra who was too busy squealing over her own A-. As soon as the bell rang, he rushed out of the classroom looking for something, or more accurately somebody. A few minutes later, after watching with envy the PDA Tyra and Landry had started doing in celebration of her great mark, when she ventured near the counselor offices, she saw her boyfriend, hugging and laughing with Julie Taylor. She watched with unmasked jealousy as he pressed the small blonde against his chest, murmuring thank yous in her ear before kissing said ear. The blonde was rubbing his back and kissing his chest until she got a hold on his face, cupped between her hands, and while she stared in his eyes, she said confidently:
"I told you that you could do it. I knew you could do it, I never doubted you for a second. Haven't you learned anything these past few months? You should never bet against a Taylor!"
"I will never bet against you ever again," he said with vigor, before pulling her in another monster hug.
The sounds of their laughter and of their plain happiness rang in Lyla's ear for a very long time.
End Flashback
"Wow, that was some really intense fight", Holly said, not knowing what would be an appropriate reaction to that story.
"Yeah. Needless to say, we didn't make it another month past that", Lyla said grimly.
