_random rant upcoming_ _first half somewhat important_ _the end note is actually IMPORTANT_

HELLO PEOPLE OF THIS PLANET I COME IN PEACE. Anyway since I'm back and stuff I just finished this chapter and stuff cause editing is a great thing to do on a Saturday morning. And I was going to put it on yesterday but I was watching a movie with dead bodies in it and stuff with me family so yahhh but here it is… AND DON'T FORGET IF YOU PICK ON MY DERP PUNS THROUGHOUT THE THING THAT I PUT BY MISTAKE OR ON PURPOSE YOU WILL GET A… what was it called a shout out? Anyway Allen Walker= bae=that ass=bae bae bae= misery= that assssssssssTHOUGH. That's all Im going to say and be proud I wrote 1,879 words of pure fanfiction this is probably the most I have written for this fanfiction and I still haven't come to the half point yet… YEY for EXTREMLY LONG DREAMS TURNED INTO FANFICTION XD anyway *gasp* KITTTY! *plays with cat furiously* bfkwjhebfkbfkbekfseb *stops* IM BAAAACK from KTTTYT KTIYY KTIIY ABBABABBBUBBUBU anyway continue reading and supporting this thing! (please)

-o0o-

As time went by we came to the more rural side of the suburb. There were a lot of houses with front yards that looked as if they had been mowed yesterday and there was also this one flamingo in one of the gardens that looks like someone tried to take a bite out of its neck, and the head had fallen off. These zombies are really strong and stupid by the looks of it. There were also some chickens running across the road but that was about it for animals. "If I was my body where would I be?" asked Lavi, mostly to himself. I guess neither of us had an idea.

"Crawling on the ground trying to find your head?" I said not too sure of myself. I wasn't one of those genius problem solvers when it comes to finding body parts, especially when it's someone else's.

"Well I think I would try to find out where my head could be so it might actually be going away from us." Said Lavi. That earned a groan from me. Why did Lavi have to be so intelligent? If he was stupid his body might have stayed put and waited for us to find it.

"Dammit Lavi." I said, and sighed. This was going to take really long if we don't get an idea soon. Oh look, there's a… what is that?

"What? Did I do something?" Lavi was now extremely curious because he was probably bored from trying to find his body. I sighed again.

"You did nothing but Lavi do you know what that is?" I say pointing at the house-looking-thing.

"I think it's a stable, but I'm not a hundred percent sure though." Well, at least I know what it might be.

"Let's go there then we can look for your body in a minute or two." I said, as I made my way over to the supposed stable. It looked pretty clean with only a few cobwebs in the far corners where you can't reach without help and the building was really big. On the ground it was covered in straw and there were some hay bales off to the side stacked on top of each other. All in all it looked like a stable from the movies but the farmers were missing but that was about it. I wonder where the horses are.

"Lavi do you know where the horses are?" I asked. I like horses. It's as simple as that.

"Moyashi-chan I can't really look around right now so can you turn my head around the place?"

"MY NAMES ALLEN! But ok" I say, as I hold Lavi out in front of me and do a slow three hundred and sixty degree turn. Bzzzt bzzzt bzzzzt. "Lavi what was that?" I say as I slowly turn towards the noise to see a small golden ball like the snitch in the Harry Potter movies. I put Lavi's head down to investigate.

"No! Moyashi-chan! Don't leave me here I don't want to be alone!" I could notice my eyebrow twitching in annoyance as I looked back at Lavi.

"Lavi this might be something dangerous so I have to go take a look or do you want me to throw you at it." I say, as Lavi pales before me.

"N-no thanks Moyashi-chan." Lavi said, as I started to walk towards the sound again.

As I get closer I notice that it has a cross on its front. The cross is a bit lighter in colour then the rest of the snitch-looking-thing. I picked it up and held it in front of me. I slowly turned it around to look at every single detail on it. I turned it so that the cross faced me and I brought it up to my face to get a closer look. It opened its mouth to show a row of sharp, shiny teeth and chomp. Lavi was laughing his butt off in the background while I was having my hair chewed off. Oh well, I needed a haircut anyway. After a while the snitch-like-thing stopped, flew to the top of my head and wrapped its tail around my neck.

"What are you anyway?" I ask trying to look up at it. It wasn't working and I'm sure I looked funny because Lavi was laughing at me again. I sigh and wait for an answer as the thing glides onto the ground and looks around, trying to find something.

"Do you need something to write on?" I ask. It nodded so I took out my phone, it still had ninety percent battery and it was definitely worth spending a tiny bit on this. I opened notes and put it in front of it. It typed out the word 'Golem'.

"Aren't golems huge rock monsters that you see in video games?" and for that it wacked me on the head and expanded in size. Now it was bigger than me!

"Okay I get it you can be big too… what's your name and are you a boy or are you a girl?" It typed out the words 'Timcanpy' and 'no gender'. Huh I thought it was a girl. It looked up at me and smiled? I think well it showed me its teeth. It flew back up to the top of my head and I picked up my phone from the ground. I turned around to face Lavi.

"Hey Lavi, this" I said pointing to where I think Timcanpy is "is Timcanpy. And he is coming with us, whether you like it or not." I said with finality in my voice.

I walked over and picked up Lavi, and continued our journey to find Lavi's missing body.

~o0o~

It has been about ten minutes since we found Timcanpy and Timcanpy is wearing Lavi's head band. And news flash I'm getting tired because someone's head is really heavy. I could dribble his head, but I should ask first, it's polite.

"Lavi can I dribble your head for a while my arm is sore." Please agree please agree please agree.

"Allen I think you already had enough of soccer practice from earlier so just switch to the other side." I stopped. But noo. He just had to reject my perfect idea. And I kept on walking. Oh yeah he said switch to the other side didn't he, might as well do that. It tried moving Lavi's head to the other side of me but Timcanpy slapped my face with its tail. And caused me to fall on my butt. I started thinking about what I could have said wrong to cause Timcanpy to slap me. Well I said this and that and then Lavi said other side and then… other side that was it! I brought Lavi's head up to face me.

"Lavi talk to your body." I stated with a straight face.

"… What?"

"Lavi when you said other side it just clicked you have a this side which is your head and you have the other side which is your body and right now your body is on auto pilot. So what you have to do is go to the body side figure out where you are and if you recognize it then come to the meeting spot or give it the command to or if it is close to us then bring it to us!"

"That could work, let me try." Said Lavi, before his face went emotionless and I started to poke his face to get a reaction. Nope no reaction, I guess it worked. Now all I have to do is get back to the meeting spot… which way was it again?

"Hey Lavi which way is the meeting spot?" no response. Timcanpy started to try and out Lavi's head band on Lavi again. He failed.

"Lavi come on don't play tricks with me. Lavi, Lavi, Lavi!" I sighed and talked to Timcanpy for comfort. "I'm going to get lost if I try to go there myself but if I wait here I might not make it in time… and then Kanda would be worried about me! Actually would he even worry?" I became depressed so curled up into a ball and rocked back and forth. I pouted "Would Kanda look for me… well he did say he loved me… and he did pick me off from the middle of the road… and slept with me… slept with me… I SHOULD NOT SAY THESE THINGS OUT LOUD WHAT IF SOMEONE HEARS ME AND THEY GET THE WRONG IDEA!" I yelled with my arms on either side of my head before Timcanpy slapped me with his hands.

"Yuu slept with Moyashi! Yuu slept with Moyashi! Yuu slept with Moyashi!" a voice chanted from in front of me. "Lavi." I said as I got up from where I was sitting and looked around before spotting him and glaring daggers into his head. Wait a second he had his body back. "Moyashi-chan you look so cute when you pout like that no wonder Kanda couldn't resist listening to you when you stopped kicking me." Now I just felt insulted. I'm sure Timcanpy felt it too because he went and bit Lavi's ear. Before going back to is spot on my head.

"I was glaring I wasn't pouting!" I said. Do I seriously look like I am pouting when I glare at someone.

"Whatever you say, Moyashi-chan~" Lavi sang, he sang. He's becoming more like an angel every second. But he still is annoying, no doubt about it.

"That's it! Lavi take me to the meeting place or I'll let Kanda loose on you." I said, with what I'm sure was a demon rising behind me. I watched calmly as Lavi's face changed immediately from 'ha ha I heard that' to 'your wish is my command because I fear for my life' and I was sure that he would take me there. "Come on Lavi we don't have time to waste there's only 20 minutes until the one hour is up and I'm pretty sure you don't want to face Kanda's wrath when I tell him you took too long to find your body." I said and sure enough Lavi grabbed me and started running to the meeting spot which caused Timcanpy to fall off my head. He was not a happy golem.

~o0o~

After a while which was only less thanfive minutes I got tired of being pulled around so I stopped causing Lavi to face plant and I started laughing at his misfortune before lending him a hand. And Timcanpy took this chance to bite his ear. Again. Before flying around aimlessly above my head.

"Moyashi-chan what did you do that for." He said, while rubbing his nose. "Only Kanda can call me that! And I'm getting tired so carry me on your back." I said. "But Moyashi-chan Yuu will kill me if he sees that and-"

"Tick tock, tick tock" I said reminding him of the little time he had left. And with that I was riding on Lavi's back to the meeting spot where Kanda would probably kill him… again. I smirked I always get what I want… I guess Lavi was right Kanda had corrupted me.

~o0o~

This is actually somewhat more normal than the beginning note thing butt XD did anyone find any puns or derps that I put in there? If u didn't doesn't matter and guys I'm going to do an Omake or two for this fan fiction thing so I already started one and I'm half way done with that and if you have any ideas please tell me so I write even more Omake's and then I will rule THE WORLD! MWUHAHAAHAHAHA but other than that I'm also making a list of the funny things I do behind the scenes like when I type something wrong and stuff butt it will mostly be me talking to myself so don't leave me alone and I'm going to put them at the very end unless you guys want it in that chapter~ and stuff~ I love the squiggly line anyway love it and review it and stuff it with more ideas because… why not anyway I'm also going to try to update once a week but school is going to be a problem like right now. And let me tell you a story of me and school.

"ha you writing fanfiction at lunch and recess well too bad 3 tests in one week from now!" ;-;

"your writing again are you now hmmmm 5 tests TODAY!" *sings* Why do you do this to MEEEE

"oh you haven't given up 352845792857984 tests IN AN HOUR MWUAHHAHAAHHA!" *dies*

So yeah gotta love school. But but butt I have written half of the next chapter so do not worry and I will post the Omake when I don't have time to write a chapter and stuff SO I NEED IDEAS FOR BOTH THE ACTUAL FF AND THE OMAKE! And don't forget to tell me because potatoes XD you will understand in the near future what I mean by potatoes~ (only if you want the fails though) ~ gooooooooodbyeeeeee and ggggooooodbae XD