Chapter 3

"I thought love was just a mirage of the mind. It's an illusion, fake, impossible to find. But the day I met you I began to see, that love is real, and exists in me".
-Chris Farmer

The faint sound of pattering on the roof and piano music woke him from a dreamless sleep. A single blue eye opened, searching the area around him for the source of the noise. He knew the rain was outside, but the music…next door.

Mika's room.

Curious, Loki got up and made his way over into the kitchen briefly, keeping to the wall near her doorway, silent as can be. She was writing something, as he could hear the sound of a pencil against paper. Looking inside, he found she was on her bed, writing a journal, too caught up in her own written thoughts to acknowledge him. Inari the fox was asleep at the foot of the bed, curled up peacefully asleep. The music was coming from a radio, playing a CD of some kind perhaps. Mika looked calm, peaceful in her deep thought, Loki was hesitant to interrupt.

Finally, he knocked on her doorway and she looked up, smiling slightly.

"I didn't know you were up" she looked at the radio, "Did my music wake you?"
"No" Loki lied, "And even if it did, I wouldn't mind it. It's nice to wake to. What is it?"
"It's called My Love by Sia. It's just the music though. There's one with lyrics, but I didn't want it. Some songs are just best without the words".
"I see"

The two fell into a comfortable silence, listening to the beautiful tune. Mika hummed it lightly, but Loki wondered what it would've sounded like if she sang it. He stared at her and it didn't go unnoticed.

"What? Is my humming annoying?" she asked.
"No, not at all. I was actually wondering…nah, it's stupid".
"What?"
"I wondered what it'd be like if you sang it…you know, with the lyrics and all that".
"Oh no, no way. I sound like a dying crow".
"I doubt that. You don't give yourself a lot of credit do you?"
"Not really" she admitted a little embarrassed.
"Well you deserve it. I mean, you've made it all the way out here on your own, and I'm sure not many women your age could".
"Only if they grew up here, yeah. I've spent my whole life here".
"Explains why you hesitate to leave".
"Among other things".
"You want to hang on to everything, you said back in the church. You're afraid to let go because you'd shame your father's memory".
"I know…it's stupid".
"No, it's just not the best choice. Your father wouldn't want you to be miserable and hanging on to all he left behind. You've been like this for seven years and I like to think that maybe why you're agreeing to help me. You wanted something to change".
"I guess" Mika shrugged, "How's your back?"
"You know what now that you mention it, I feel a lot better. I mean I still can't remember anything, mind you, but…I don't know".
"Maybe it'll come back to you with time".
"Maybe. I try not to focus too much on it".
"Because of what you told me earlier?"
"For the most part, yes. But also I think maybe it might not be important. I mean, I don't know where I come from, but I can make a way to find out where I'm going".
"Where is it you expect to go?"
"Well, in all honesty, I haven't really thought that far. I know you probably wouldn't want me to stay here forever".
"I like you here. It's nice to have someone to finally talk to after so many years".
"I can't imagine how lonely it must've been".
"Like I said though, sometimes it's better to be alone".
"What are you writing?" he asked.
"My journal. And yes, before you ask, I am writing a bit about you".
"A bit? Are you sure?" he looked at her in a comedic, suspicious way, "You're listening to slow music and writing in a journal about me. Hm…".
"Shut up!" Mika laughed, catching on to his thought process and playfully threw a small pillow at him, which he caught.

He laughed as well, tossing it back. Inari's ear flicked and a brown eye opened. He moved his head around, staring at the scene around him. Upon gazing at Loki, the fox's ears lowered, and he showed his teeth in a slight snarl.

"Inari!" Mika said, "Sorry, I guess he's not used to strangers".
"It's alright" Loki looked at the fox for just a moment, trying to look as docile as he felt. The best way to communicate with animals was with both body language and facial expression, that much he knew.

Inari seemed to take it and went back to resting. An awkward silence reigned and the music stopped. Mika turned the radio off with a slightly sad look.

"Well" Loki sighed awkwardly, "I guess I'll head back to bed. Good night".
"Yeah…good night".
"Is something wrong?"
"Don't worry about it".
"Well now I'm going to. What is it?"
"Don't concern yourself over me. I don't deserve it".
"You deserve every bit of concern in me, Mika. What's wrong?"
"Alright, I'll admit it, I can't sleep. That's why I'm still up. I thought writing would help, but it's only making me think more".
"So stop thinking".
"I wish I could some days. But it's like no matter what, my brain is always on the rush, never calming for anything. Usually the rain helps too but tonight…I don't know what it is".
"Do you want me to stay with you?"
"Oh…no, that's childish. I wouldn't-"
"I have no problem with it, Mika. And it's not childish. I'd love to keep you company. I'll try to help you sleep. Anything I can do?"
"Well, it'd be nice if…oh god…don't think bad of me for this, but maybe someone to…to snuggle with would be nice".
"Alright, gladly" he smiled and Mika moved out of her bed to let him move in.

She was surprised her small bed could fit two people. Inari woke for just a few moments. Seeing Loki on the bed now, the black fox made his way over to a clothes pile by the closet and chose it as a bed. Smiling, Mika laid down and snuggled close to Loki, her head on his chest. There she could hear his heart beat. It was a sound that comforted her for the first time in years. She felt like a child again, but there was something new in this comfort, something she hadn't felt for anyone else. Sighing, she let herself think it was just the lonesome years coming back and biting her in the face. Many years she'd wanted something like this: Someone to keep her company, someone to talk to, something she'd always denied herself. Why she didn't know entirely sure, perhaps because she felt like she was unworthy. Either way, Mika let the sound of his heart and the rain comfort her and his body was pretty warm too. His arms, though somewhat long, were strong and held her to him tightly, making her feel safe for the first time in so many years.

As for Loki, he wasn't sure what was going on. All he knew was, Mika needed someone here for her and if it was him, he figured so be it. She was doing all she could to help him and now he knew he had to return the favor. Right now, if this was all she needed, he was doing it gladly. Smiling, he brushed some hair behind her ear while listening to her steady breathing. Everything was going to be alright. Maybe it was okay if he couldn't remember the past. Maybe it wasn't important. Well, it was the case for the moment at least. Right now, nothing mattered, just her. At long last, he too fell asleep listening to the rain, My Love by Sia stuck in his head…

He woke alone the next morning. The sun was high outside, little rays of light coming in through the window's now open blinds. Loki didn't hear any movement in the house, so feeling a little groggy, and his back paining him slightly again, he managed to get up and go to the kitchen. Looking out a window, he saw Mika outside, working already on the old dock.

He wasn't sure how long she'd been outside for, but she already looked tired. Loki hurried back to his room and slipped on the clothes he had on the day before, as he didn't feel too comfortable wearing much that belonged to Mika's father. He put on some old work shoes that he found surprisingly comfortable and went outside to the front yard.

Once again, Mika was caught up in her task she didn't notice him at first. She wanted to get this done as soon as possible, but some parts were proving difficult. Mika feared she didn't have enough planks to replace the old worn out ones that really needed replacing. Looking up, she saw Loki peering down at her with concern and curiosity.

"Oh hey there, good morning" she said a little surprised.
"Good morning. How long have you been out here?"
"A few hours. How long have you been up?"
"A few minutes. Do you need any help?"
"Nah, I'm fixing to take a break anyway. Have you eaten yet?"
"Not yet".
"Want anything in particular?"

Loki helped Mika to her feet, shaking his head with a light smile. Mika loved his smile for some reason. She liked how it made his whole face light up, and his eyes seemed to light up too. It made her smile too.

"Thanks. I'll make us something"
"I'll help, that is if you want".
"You're a nice guy, Loki, but I don't really need help".
"Doesn't mean I can't offer or try".

Mika's smile didn't fade, but something seemed…off. She hadn't really thought about it, but maybe not everything was what it seemed to be. Who was Loki really? What was he like before he lost his memory? How in the world did he even get here? Asking those questions to him directly though she knew was pointless. But still…she wondered.

"Thanks, but I got it".
"Alright".
"I was thinking we could go into town later and maybe see about finding you some clothes. Hopefully some that fit you just a little better since I guess you're probably gonna be staying with me for quite a while".
"Is that a problem?"
"Oh no, not at all. I like having you around. My life's a little more…colorful I guess with you around".
"Well I'm glad I could bring a little color to you, Mika".
"Thanks".
"For what?"
"Oh…um…dang. Well to be honest I'm not really sure. But just…thanks. For being here and wanting to stay I guess".
"Of course. I mean I don't know what I was like before all this, but I know it's wrong to leave someone behind after doing one a kindness".
"Alright, enough chit chat, what do you wanna eat?"
"Not really wanting anything big. Nothing that'll take too much of an effort".
"Really?" Mika gave him a funny skeptical look.
"I'm serious" Loki put his hands up defensively also in a comical way, "Honestly I'm not a really big eater, and when I do eat I know I'm not picky. Food is food".
"Well, another thing we have in common. Alright, well, I guess some eggs would do nicely. It's simple and clean up will be quick".
"Sounds good to me"

A/N: So sorry for the wait guys, took me forever to get back into this story. Hopefully my updates will be sooner. Things have been crazy nowadays but I hope now it won't interfere with my updates. Hope you like, review please, I like to know what you think.