Total Drama, What is Real? Episode 3: At a Blade's edge (Part 1)


"So we have met all our starting contestants…old, older, and new… and we have quite the interesting roster on our hands, don't we? Sniper Rob, completely insane but somehow likable Chris, arrogant Melody, scheming Jay, socially awkward but brilliant Nise, amateur illusionist Mathieu, one-armed wonder Nanon, the extremely tall and in other ways noteworthy Giavanna, and that's only HALF of our awesome new additions competing against Total Drama stables like Owen, Cody, and sadly…Duncan! Also, the three teams and captains have been formed/picked!

"There are so many questions heading in, like… just how much will Greg make Duncan's life a living hell? Will Duncan's little alliance with Jo and Anne Maria last? Just what is Jay's angle, or for that matter, Solita's? How will Harold, Joseph, and Melody fare as the captains of their teams? Can Chris top himself in terms of crazy? Just how insane will the Jay-Melody-Erebus love triangle get now that they're on the same team? And what is the first challenge going to be?

"I'm your host Kevin Rawlings… and this… is Total Drama, What is Real?!" Kevin exclaims.


(Cue Title screen and theme song)

"Dear Mom and Dad I'm doin' fine…"

*The camera zooms up to Izzy, Chris, and Owen who jump off the fake cliff into the pool below, soaking Kevin who was lounging in a deck chair nearby. Solita and Joseph are on the same cliff that the trio were and laugh at drenched new host. Mary is glaring at them at the two of them. Joseph responds by pulling Mary in for a kiss. Solita rolls her eyes besides them, smirking.*

"You guys are on my mind…"

*The camera then makes the transition to Mathieu, who is trying to perform a vanishing act for Nise, Cameron, Mike, and Zoey on the stage to show his skills with illusions. Sadly though, it spontaneously explodes in his face. This results in Matt rolling around to put out the fire. Nise runs away while screaming in terror with Cameron running after her. Mike and Zoey try to put the fire out by stepping on it but in doing so they end up unintentional stepping on Mathieu.*

"You asked me what I wanted to be…"

*Scott laughs at the scene, but then Giavanna cracks her knuckles behind him. Seeing her shadow cover him and hearing the crack of her knuckles, Scott goes pale as his eyes go wide and he runs off. Noah then grins at the running Scott and fist-bumps Giavanna. The two of them blush and look away from each other while smiling.*

"And now I think the answer is plain to see…"

*After looking on this with concern, Damian runs behind Heather and dumps black sludge on her, causing her to scream and run away. Damian and Alejandro, who had been hiding in a bush nearby, start laughing before they high-five each other.*

"I wanna be famous…"

*The camera then swivels into the Mess hall where Jay and Erebus are standing with Melody in between them. With Jay singing to her, mike in hand, and Erebus offering her a rose, she rolls her eyes and pushes both boys away. The camera shaking a little as they land.*

"I wanna live close to the sun…"

*Jay collides with Francisco's back as he's applying a tattoo to nervous and unsure looking DJ, causing the needle to puncture the Brickhouse's skin, causing him to yelp in pain. Katie gets angry, pulls out a baseball bat, and chases the Tattoo Artist out of the dining hall. As this is happening Sadie pulls up Jay while grinning at him. Jay runs away when she tries to hug him.*

"Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won…"

*Greg is working his turntables, headphones to his ear, when Francisco tramples him as he's running away from the bat-wielding Katie. As Greg struggles to his feet, Britney appears behind him and starts to talk to him. For some reason he starts slamming his head on his own turntables. Britney then scowls at him, with Courtney is laughing in the background.*

"Everything to prove, nothing in my way…"

*Justin is posing trying to get Anna Maria, Lindsay, Beth, Leshawna, and Dawn's attention, but none even notice he's there aside from Anne Maria. The other four ladies walk away smiling at each other.*

"I'll get there one day…"

*Gwen and Duncan are talking but neither looks very comfortable. Cody appears and calls to Gwen, who approaches the Geek with a faint smile on her face. Duncan is about to complain to the Goth about this when Ari appears from nowhere behind him and trips him. As the Delinquent rises to yell at the Ninja, the tripper vanishes in a thick cloud of black smoke.*

"Cause, I wanna be famous!"

*Trent is playing his guitar when he's bowled over by Francisco with Katie still in hot pursuit. After getting up and dusting himself off, the Musician is then trampled again by Jay while he's running away from not only Sadie, but Sierra now as well.*

"Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na!"

*The camera goes outside of the Mess Hall to reveal the contestants who are currently outside. Brick, Eva, Jo, Lightning, Nanon, and Tyler are all running towards a makeshift finish line. Though a close race, the One Armed Girl tears the fabric and jumps up and down in joy. While Brick, Eva, and Tyler look at the victor with respect, Jo and Lightning stare in envy.*

"I wanna be…"

*B is covering his ears trying to block out the continuously chatty Staci and Carlyle.*

"I wanna be…"

*Without warning Rob appears out of the bushes and hits them with tranquilizer darts from a blowgun, knocking both Staci and Carlyle out.*

"I wanna be famous!"

*B gives him the thumbs up. Rob smiles as he walks away. As he does, the camera transitions.*

"I wanna be…"

*Bridgette and Geoff are making out on the couch in the Total Drama Action Aftermath studio.*

"I wanna be…"

*Suddenly the Dakotazoid appears behind the couch and lifts both kissers off of it.*

"I wanna be famous!"

*As the blonde surfers sit elsewhere, Sam comes up to the couch and looks lovingly at her. *

(Whistling: I wanna be, I wanna be famous)

*"TOTAL DRAMA, WHAT IS REAL?" Blinks onto the large screen behind them, as the rest of the cast is sitting on bleachers to the left and right of them.* (1)


The contestants were exactly as they had been, staring in confusion at the swords from the sky. After a few minutes of shock, one of the contestants approached the ancient weapons of war.

"Hey Kevin…" Jay says as he pulls a pair of razor-sharp Kukri out of the ground, and grins. "Are all these part of the challenge?" (2)

"Very perceptive Jay. Yes, all these swords and blades from all over the world will be part of your challenge. As you can likely guess…you'll all be all duelling each other with these blades!"

"Uh, I k-know this-s seems like an obvious question… but what's stopping say… Greg or Duncan from killing each other?" Nise asks, fright and nervousness dripping from her voice.

"Good question Nise… with an even better answer! Thanks to a very wealthy partner who wishes to remain anonymous, we have been able to take our plans for this season to heights that no season of Total Drama ever has before! For this very first of challenges, that means that you guys will be protected by the most advanced, state of the art, battle armour in modern history!" Kevin exclaims as he pulls out beige fabric armour that looks like it's layered with square scales.

"DRAGONSCALE!" Rob and (surprisingly) Jay both exclaim at the same time. They Rob looks at Jay, left eyebrow up in surprise. Jay just grins at him.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"Uh, how does he know about dragonscale?" Rob exclaims in a combination of surprise and being impressed as he refers to Jay.

(Static)

"What can I can I say? I love weaponry of all types, shapes and sizes." Jay says shrugging.

(Static)

"W-well at least we can't kill each other." Nise says in relief.

(Static)

"A very wealthy partner who wishes to remain anonymous? My curiosity about that is slightly lowered by the horror of what is about to happen. I'm not exactly sword wielding type, after all." Noah says.

(Static)

Erebus is laughing and it seems like he's been doing this for a while now.

"Oh, oh this is simply to rich for my amber eyes to behold! With the challenge being a duel of swords, my Christmas gifts this year can be placed on hold!"

The Machiavellian Poet then draws his cane-sword to prove his point.

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


"Yes, Dragonscale. And we already have outfits for everyone here, fitting to your body sizes. Anyway, now that you know that, please come up and claim your pointy things of metal pain! Except for Erebus, who was kind enough to bring his own sword, much to our shock and joy." Kevin says.

"Oh yes, please forgive us Kevin. Please forgive our collective lapse in thinking in not bringing weapons that haven't been used in any major way in hundreds of years." Noah cynically says.

But Noah's (quite accurate) observation was almost instantly overwhelmed by a happy shout.

"Oh my god… a FRENCH RAPIER!" Staci exclaims in glee as she pulls the elegant blade out of the ground and runs her fingers over the shining blade in admiration before making a few slashing movements.

"What the hell would you know about swords Staci?" Anne Maria asks, very sceptical as she pulls a Machete out of the ground.

"What don't I know? My grandpa was a championship fencer back in England, taught me everything he knew before he died a few years ago. In fact-"Staci says with a smile before being interrupted by an annoyed Jo, who obtaining for herself a two-handed Highlander Claymore. (3)

"Oh just shut the hell up already! Not even Baby Rattle over here would believe that load of bullshit!" The Jockette nastily says as she points at Nise, who was holding a Xiphos short sword. (4)

After seeing the weapon Nise was struggling to hold, Jo couldn't help but start to laugh. "Oh that's rich! The tiny baby rattle is holding the main blade of the Spartans. Her using that thing is about as believable as the human parrot here being a master of the rapier."

Staci scowls as she responses, "I'll prove how skilled I am if you don't believe me!"

"I'm gonna enjoy seeing you try, and fail." Jo says, laughing.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"I... I really don't think I like Jo that much..." Nise says, the resentment she feels noticeable even with her trembling.

(Static)

"I cannot WAIT to see that arrogant smirk wiped off Jo's face when I wipe the floor with my opponent, whoever it may be!" Staci says, grinning in anticipation.

(Static)

"I don't know… it's very odd. True that Staci's mouth is like a malfunctioning boat motor but she seemed to have far more confidence when she was rambling on about this. She just might know what she was talking about. You just might end up eating your words for dinner Jo." Duncan says as he started contemplating the possibility of that actually being the shocking truth.

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


Ari picks up a pair of Ninjato short blades, writes down on his/her notepad and shows it to Kevin. It reads, "Do all these blades have scabbards to come with them?" (5)

"Uh… yes! I all these assorted swords and knives have their proper scabbards. Intern! The scabbards please!" Kevin says before turning to the contestants as he adds, "Once you have decided on a sword, please come over here and retrieve the proper scabbards to hold them."

An intern rolls out a cart with all the scabbards for the assorted swords. Said intern was a tall teenager with chocolate-colored skin who had both green glasses and black dreadlocks.

"Thank you Sebastian." Kevin says as Sebastian walks away to bring more scabbards. (6)

Harold pulls a Katana out of the ground. As the blade glistens in the sun, the nerd walks over to retrieve the proper scabbard for his sword. While doing so, he remarks to himself, "Beautiful craftsmanship."

Duncan pulls a Kilij out of the ground and says with a sadistic smile on his face; "Bet you could slice through three people with this baby." (7)

After pulling out a Janbiya dagger out from the ground, Joseph says, "Might as well live up to our heritage, right?" Mary nodded her head as she pulled out a Cruciform sword. (8) (9)

Mathieu takes out a Calvary saber while saying, "Wow, nice sword!" Cody, who had just obtained a Falcata, smiled as he nodded his head in agreement. (10)

Francisco was judging the Sword of Mars he had just pulled out of the ground. After making a hacking motion he commented, "Well balanced. Magnifico". (11)

Greg decides to pull out a pair of Gladius short swords and grinned once they were in his hands. (12)

Justin, despite fearing some damage befalling his perfect fingernails, grabs an Arabian Scimitar. After hacking the air, the Male Model looks with approval at his own reflection from the sword. (13)

Despite being on different teams and agreeing to become strong forces individuality, the Twins in Pink seemed unable to escape their obsession with duality as both chose a pair of blades. Sadie chose a pair of Katar daggers while Katie was now holding a pair KA-BAR combat knives. (14) (15)

In keeping with the bizarre duality of things, Owen and DJ, the two largest guys there, chose their weapons. DJ, with some timidity, claimed the Guan Dao pole sword. With his white meaty fingers briefly struggling, Owen pulled a Glaive pole sword out of the ground. (16) (17)


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"I might not know much about swords but what I do know is that if I'm going to be forced to kick ass, I should at least do so with some style and the most beautiful sword here." Justin says.

(Static)

"I might not know much about swords but I'm sure a long pole can only help me to win this thing." Owen says, trying to be logical and actually being somewhat successful at it.

(Static)

"I might not know much about swords but I'm sure a long pole will reduce the chance of things getting too bad if things should go awry." DJ says, worried about the possibility of harming someone.

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


Rob pulls out a CRK Mark IV 9-inch combat knife. Many were shocked that he picked such a small weapon against so many larger swords. (18)

"You actually plan on kicking somebody's ass with that puny thing?" Duncan says mockingly.

"It's not the length of your blade…" Rob says grinning as he puts the knife to Duncan's throat in a motion as fast as lightning, "…it's how you use it."

All sense of mocking left Duncan as his face went pale until the knife was away from his throat.

Jay was grinning at Rob, extremely impressed. Greg was grinning like an idiot simply because Duncan just had a nine inch blade just inches away from his jugular vein.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"Rob is… impressive to say the least. If I can get him on my side, there's no way I can fail!" Jay says, very impressed.

(Static)

"Is it bad that I was secretly thinking, 'I hope he nicks Duncan's jugular' the whole time Rob held that knife to his neck?" Greg asks rhetorically to the camera.

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


Chris, to almost everyone's great concern, pulled a Norman Broadsword out of the ground. At the same time, Izzy, to almost everyone's great concern, pulled out a pair of Twin Hook swords. (19) (20)

As Izzy began cutting the air with the curved weapons of Shaolin Monks, Chris slashed the same air a few times before starting to approach the wild redhead still wildly cutting with her swords. This was made even stranger and absurd by the fact that Izzy had started shouting angrily.

"Izzy is the master of fear! The cruel goddess of war and the savage queen of all bloodshed! Look on my works ye mighty and despair! Cower before Izzy and witness terror!"

Despite this intimidating voice, Chris approaches Izzy as calm as humanly possible, taps her shoulder, and says in a voice so shockingly normal, "Hey Izzy, can I ask you something?"

The face of almost divine fury on her melts away in an instant and Izzy says in a normal sweet sounding voice with a genuine kind smile, "Sure buddy. Let me just finish this up, 'kay?"

But then as quickly as it retreated the face full of inhuman fury returned as Izzy shouted, "Worship me, fools! Worship me! Cry through your mouths flowing with own blood for your end to be swift! Scream hosannas of anguish to Izzy, the all-terrible god of fear!"

Just as quickly, the furious thunder left the redhead as Izzy asked in a sweetly and calm manner, "So, what's up my phantom of the mask and cape but no opera?"

"Actually, you just said it. Not the mask or the lack of opera, but the cape. Could you please hold on to this cape until after this challenge, keeping it close?" Chris asks, actually sounding logical.

"Sure buddy! Izzy can keep this cape as close as she can." Izzy happily told the masked teenager.

Then Izzy's emerald eyes were drawn to Giavanna, who was not too far away and struggling to pick a sword. For some reason, Izzy's previously happy grin became a slight frown. Equally strange was the fact that she was staring shamefully at her chest for some odd reason.

Suddenly, Izzy's frown bolted upward into a massive smile bordering on manically Joker-like. To everyone's shock, even Chris', Izzy then takes the cape and stuffs it into her top's opening.

This had the effect of making Izzy's bust considerably larger and more eye-catching than before. Whether it was out of curiosity or wanting to magnify the effect, Izzy then cupped her breasts. After cupping and slightly adjusting her breasts now cape surrounded, Izzy struck a sexy pose.

"So Chris, what do you think? Do you think I'm not big enough on my own? Be honest." Izzy asked, trying (and mostly succeeding) to sound sexy while also sounding somewhat vulnerable.

The Enigma simply stood there for a few moments, very happy that a mask covered his face. He was happy that his face couldn't be seen was because of he had conflicting feelings about this. On the one hand, Izzy with larger breasts was not exactly a terrible development to him. But there was another opinion that Chris felt was closer to the actual truth. He voiced this truth.

"While I'm not going to deny that your cleavage of cloth has a way of awakening reactions, I'm going to be honest. You shouldn't be concerned about "big enough", only "on my own". Whether they are watermelons or cherry pits, the sizes of your breasts should have no weight. Much more important is the fact that you shouted wrathful proclamations at imaginary beings. Your personality and plea for figurative bloodshed are better than big biological baby bottles."

"Aw, thanks Chrissie! That was beautiful yet disturbed, just the way Izzy likes her speeches!" Izzy says in smiling graduate to Chris' "beautiful yet disturbed" words about her personality.

"But you can keep the cape, it looks far better on you." Chris added, slightly lessening his words.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

Izzy is sitting in the Confessional, looking down at her bust that still has the cape stuffed in it.

"Izzy's not ashamed of her body. Its just that sometimes when around people like Giavanna I fear that I'm a bit lacking. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if I had breasts that big?" Izzy says, looking slightly vulnerable again as she removes Chris' cape from her cleavage.

This only lasts seconds though as Izzy suddenly gets a massive grin on her face as she says, "Nah! I don't need my chest puppies to be full-grown Labrador retrievers! Giavanna can have those whopping woof-woofs. Though Izzy wonders if they are real? Izzy must investigate!"

The Psycho Hose Beast then starts rubbing her hands together while cackling maniacally.

(Static)

The Enigma is sitting on the right side of the Confessional, leaving the left side empty.

"That cloak my be awesome and stylish but its something that I sadly can't wear for challenges. No, I need to shifting and fluid, matching the fecal matter in bowels plagued by severe diarrhoea! Only a complete and utter wacko would wear a cape for a Total Drama sword duel challenge…" Chris says with logical confidence before turning his head to the empty space to his left side.

"Isn't that right penis-headed ghost of Eager Allen Poe?"

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


"Hmmm… Interesting. I'll take it." Giavanna says as she picks up a Scottish Broadsword, the heaviest sword there. Despite her unease, she spins it around her wrist like it weighs nothing. (21)

While doing so, Nanon, who was pulling out a Recon-1 Combat Knife, looks very impressed. (22)

"Wow, your arm strength is almost as good as mine." Nanon says smiling to Giavanna, looking up to the giant redhead who dwarfed her by a considerable margin. Giavanna smiled back at her.

"Of course you would be impressed…two freakshows admiring each other together because no guy in his right mind ever would. Why don't you just make out already and get it over with?" Melody asks nastily, with an evil smile on her face as she pulled out a Jian sword. (23)

Both girls looked deeply hurt by Melody's remark, because it touched on a real concern for both.

Nanon's face contorts in anger, looking like she's going to throw a couple punches to Melody's face. Gia notices this and with a shockingly calm voice she says, "Let me take care of this."

Very calmly, the Tall Bombshell walks right in front of Melody. Standing with her long shadow, the Mirror Image's evil smile breaks as she begins to realize the folly in mocking the "freaks".

Melody stood there, looking up at Giavanna's furious eyes like a deer caught in the headlights until…

SSSMAACCCKKKKK!

One of Giavanna's massive yet still slender hands bitch-slapped Melody so hard that it knocked her off of her feet, causing her sunglasses to shatter as her head hit the ground!

Both the impact and sound of the slap were so powerful that almost everyone cringed at them. The only exceptions, which were actually grinning in approval, were Nanon, Damian (holding a Viking Long Sword), and Noah (holding a Kopis Short Sword). (24) (25)

Jay and Erebus run over to Melody's side and lift her to her feet. The two guys hold her as she struggles to stay upright.

"That was out of line! If you ever insult Nanon like that again you bitch… A LOT WORSE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU, GOT IT?!" Giavanna screams to the dazed Melody.

"I don't even think she can understand you. She's barely conscious…she can't even stand. And it was YOU was out of line!" Jay replies, furious, looking at her with fiery hatred in his eyes.

"I must agree with Jay because you overstepped your justified grounds for complaint. For one with so much physical power, you had better start learning how to show far more restraint." Erebus says with a sadness contrasting Jay's fiery anger in tone while equalling it in power.

With the help of a few interns, Erebus and Jay lead Melody away to the medic's tent.

As they did, Giavanna stood there like a statue. The remarks of the two (in particular Erebus') combined with the image of seeing the barely conscious Melody being lead away had an effect. Almost instantly after the slap to Melody, the full guilt already began to fester within Giavanna.

She may have broke down into tears for losing control if not for a small hand on her right arm. Looking down, she sees Nanon looking up at her with a pleased smile on her. This smile makes the Tall Bombshell feel much better but she still feels her guilt clawing away at her mind. Cracking a slight smile herself while still feeling guilty she says, "That was wrong. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Not to sound cruel but she's a massive bitch. That much would be perfectly clear even if Melody wasn't Heather's sister." Nanon says to put the tall girl's mind as ease.

"Her being Heather's sister has nothing to do with it." A voice says, as it gets closer.

Looking in the voice's direction, Giavanna saw both Damian and Noah approaching her. She remembered the voice as belonging to Damian.

"Ok fair enough. But still, I can tell already that she's going to get hit a couple more times like that before this is all over." Nanon says to both Damian and Giavanna.

"You'll find no disagreement there. I'll truly be shocked if she doesn't leave with a few scars." Damian says with a somewhat dark smile on his face.

"Forgetting for a moment any long standing family grudges and hostility, they are correct. This is something that you shouldn't lose any sleep over Giavanna. In fact, does anyone here think any less of Gia for sending Melody to the medical tent?" Noah says before asking everyone.

Every voice that could be heard said that they didn't think any less of the Tall Bombshell. The only voices that couldn't be accounted for belonged to Erebus, Jay, Melody, and a few others.

Despite those voices being absent, hearing that largely collective sentiment had an effect on Gia. While still being stung by guilt, it was far less painful than it was just a few short moments ago. Feeling much better, the Tall Bombshell got on to one of her knees and swung her arm across her. Like a massive net in the ocean, it caught Noah, Damian, and Nanon in its large embrace as a very thankful Giavanna then pulled the three of them into a tight hug. The trio couldn't move, but none of them had any real desire to so as they hugged Gia back to the best of their ability.

"Oh thank you guys! You have no idea how much this means to me! Noah, Damian, you guys are the best! And so are you, uh, Nanon, right?" Giavanna says while still hugging the kind trio.

"Yup, that's correct. And you must be Giavanna, I presume?" Nanon asks in rebuttal.

"I am. But you can call me Gia if you want. Whichever you'd prefer." Giavanna says.

"Good to know. Now, Gia, could you release us, please?" Nanon says, still being hugged.

"Uh? Oh! Sorry." Giavanna says sheepishly with a blush before releasing her three friends.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"My God! I can't believe I did that! I could have hurt Melody for life! I hope she's ok." Giavanna says with her voice being both loud and full of obvious guilt. The Tall Bombshell then lowers her head to be visible to the camera; her eyes are almost on the verge of tears. After a few seconds, she regains herself enough to explain herself to the Confessional camera.

"Remember when I said I was picked on in my hometown? That was a massive understatement. Ever since I was thirteen the majority of people I know have either picked on me or ignored me. I have very few friends as a result of this. I also have discovered that this has made me extremely protective of them, in particular when they are being bullied because of something about them they can't change or their friendship to me. Seeing them hurt just gets so mad sometimes that I…!" Giavanna says calmly before showing a sudden spike in wrath that she catches herself in.

Pausing for a moment, she adds with a defeated tone, "And that has lead to me sometimes losing my temper. I'm able to control it for the most part but I'm so big and strong that the few times where I didn't could have lead to serious, irrevocable injuries. I've lost one or two of the few friends that I've had as a result. As I'm sure I just lost a few of the possible friends here too. I know they said that they were fine with what happened but they must think so much less of me.

"How could they still want me as a friend after I lost my temper and smacked down Melody?"

(Static)

Nise is sitting there shaking wildly with her eyes as wide as they could be, scared out of her mind. The Quantum Physicist to be was one of those who were silent earlier, out of pure fear.

(Static)

Duncan is seen writing in a note pad while seemingly saying out loud what he is writing.

"Note to self. Don't piss off Giant Girl and her possible desired boy-toys Noah and/or Damian."

(Static)

"It was hard to see Gia be saddened but she has no idea how much hotter she just became to me! I've wanted to knock Mel down a peg or two for years!" Damian says in understandable though somewhat disturbing joy.

(Static)

"Apparently Giavanna likes to give out tight, long hugs to her friends. I'm not sure why that is, but I'm not exactly going to complain out it or tell her to stop." Noah says with a small smile.

(Static)

"As horrible as Melody's comment might have been, she did touch on a couple of truths. One of which was that often in a pitch, often the only thing that us "freaks" have is each other. And from what I've seen, Giava-, Gia, will be a friend and fellow "freak" who I can turn to if needed." Nanon says with warmth in her voice, clearly showing a desire for a strong friendship with her.

The One-Armed Girl then spoke in a voice with far more energy and excitement as she says, "And she is strong! It's hard for you watching to imagine just how strong. She may look like a semi-delicate supermodel but she might not know just how much power is flowing behind those muscles of hers! In addition to a friend, I may have just found a excellent running partner too!"

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


While waiting for word from the medical tent about Melody, the five people still needing a blade made their decisions. For two of them, it didn't take long to claim a weapon meant for cutting. Leshawna chose a Naginata pole sword while Solita picked a Khanda sword. The other three though, took far longer to decide on a sword for very different reasons.

The first of the three, Britney's difficult came from swords being just about the furthest thing out of her interests. While the other two were still debating, she claimed a Cutlass as her weapon. For Carlyle, he had wasted so much time because he tried to run through every movie that used swords or knives to find the one that would be the best one to reference.

And given the number of movies with swords and knives that he has seen, he still wasn't anywhere near ready to make a decision based on that. Finally, out of frustration, he pulled a Bowie knife out of the ground. So, because of her strong beliefs against combat (armed or otherwise) Dawn pulled out a French Arming sword. (26) (27) (28)

Most would have complained about how long it took the last three to choice their weapons but since they couldn't proceed until they got word back on Melody's condition, no one minded. Right after Dawn reluctantly chose her sword, the trio of Melody, Jay, and Erebus had returned. To the great relief of the three returning contestants (and Giavanna) and the great disappointment of everyone else, Melody was not actually injured from Gia's slap, only having brief shock.

With everyone present and capable of competing, Kevin announced to all of the teenagers there, "Ok, now that everyone is here and everyone has a weapon, it's time to set the matches! I will determine most of pairs of opponents but the three captains of the teams have the perk of picking their own opponents. Remember captains; it can be anyone who is not from your own team. And seeing as how Melody just got back from the medical tent, I think its only fair that she picks first. So Melody, which member of the Avatars or Polygons would you like fight with sharp swords?"

The Mirror Image could barely contain herself as she shouted instantly, "Giavanna!"

The Tall Bombshell in question looked shocked at hearing this (as did most of those present) before her face became one of understanding and reluctant acceptance.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"Honestly, I shouldn't have been shocked that Mel chose me as her opponent. It makes perfect sense that she would relish the change to come at me with a sword after I slapped her so hard. If I lose, I'll have been beaten, and ergo, fail my team. If I win, I'll likely feel even guiltier. So basically I feel like I'm in a lose-lose situation here." Giavanna says, with knowing sadness.

(Static)

"I really hope that Gia can lay the smack down on my sis again! If it happened twice, Mel might be humbled…or if nothing else be quiet and not add any more damage to our family's name." Damian says, clearly offering his support to the Tall Bombshell instead of his evil other sister.

(Static)

"I can't believe she broke my sunglasses..." Melody says clearly distressed and on the verge of tears as she holds the violet shards in her hands.."They were my birthday gift from Daddy this year..." she says as single tear leaves her right eye, then her face contorts in rage and hate..."Oh you're going to pay you big bitch! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY!" Melody screams before adding in a much more quiet but equally unpleasant tone, "Maybe I can cut her down to size?"

(Static)

"Now this is what I'm talking about! Mel and me couldn't have asked for a sweeter deal! Now she can mop the floor with that admittedly gorgeous giant. In fact, we have the two hottest girls here fighting each other? This could only be better if they lost the swords and were in mud!" Jay says, his strong support for Melody switching to a far less noble or clean imagining with her.

(Static)

"I'd like to believe that Melody has the skills to pull her through. But in challenging Giavanna, I have to worriedly ask if she has bitten off more than she can chew?" Erebus says with worry.

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


"Ok no big surprise their Melody. At least your fight will bring in ratings from the male viewers. Anyway, let's have Joseph pick next. Which Polygon or Cyborg would you like to duel, Joey?"

The Arabic teenage male looked carefully over the choices for him to pick from. There were several very wise choices for him to pick from for an easy victory in the first round. But he made his decision, he chose a Polygon.

"I chose Britney!" Joseph said, to the gasps of many and the shocked stares of almost everyone.

Both Britney and Kevin looked shocked by this, though Kevin oddly looked more shocked.

"Alright, that leaves one captain. Harold, please decide which Avatar or Cyborg battles you!" Kevin says.

The Dweeby Nerd tapped his auburn goatee while sizing up those who he could be fighting. After a few moments of doing this, Harold would follow Joseph's lead and shock everyone.

"To test my honor and mad skills, I choose the noble yet often timid DJ!"

Again like how things were with Joseph, everyone either gasped or stared at Harold in shock.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"I'm truly not sure how to feel about fighting Harold or why he picked me as his opponent? I mean, sure, I helped Duncan and Geoff prank him a few times back on the island. But in the brief time he was in World Tour, we got along well. I'm so not sure how to feel about fighting him! Oh…what would Mama say about playing with swords?" DJ asks, nervous on a few levels.

(Static)

"I have no ill will towards DJ, or even Geoff for that matter, for the pranks on me during Island. Only Duncan deserves ire for those foul deeds! So, you might be asking, why not fight him? Well, while Duncan is the more deserving of wrath, DJ presents a far better challenge for me. Between out great size difference and his Guan Dao pole sword, I can truly gauge my own skills. Since this might be the one time in my life that I can use a Katana in a duel, this is my one shot!" Harold says as he explains his reasoning in a very neutrally toned way.

(Static)

"I have no grudge or malice for Britney. I simply chose her because it seems like that she will be the easiest to defeat in a sword duel." Joseph says to the camera, completely neutral in voice.

(Static)

"So Joey wants a fight huh?" Britney says as she cracks her knuckles and smiles eagerly. "I don't know anything about swords, I could care less about a bunch of ancient glorified shish kabob sticks. However, I do know something about fighting. I usually only fight pissy haters of my music and the paparazzi but that gets really tiresome because all they do is scream and cry while not fighting back. I bet Joey thinks I'm a scared, vapid little performer. I'm gonna enjoy this!"

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


"Alright. Now that the three captains have selected their opponents, I will pick every other pair. Please know that while some of these are my personal picks, others I was ordered to announce. The first of which is one of those I am forced to make, despite how unfair and very one-sided this is…Rob vs. Sadie!" Kevin says, knowing the unfairness of it.

And the teenagers were also aware of how unaware this match was. Sadie's face went pale and she was squeezing Katie's hand so hard that her normally mocha fingers were just as pale.

"Moving on, now the next two matches. First, we have one of which I decided and will hopefully get great pleasure from since they clearly already want to kill each other anyway…Duncan vs. Greg! Then, we have one that I was forced to make by the higher ups…Nise vs. Jo!" Kevin says.

Everyone's eyes were drawn to the four people whose names had just been mentioned. Duncan and Greg were staring at each other with smiles to sadistic that they horrified most of those there. Jo had a more restrained but equally unnerving smirk. Nise was shaking uncontrollably in fright.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

Katie and Sadie are in the Confessional together. Katie is trying to console her frightened friend.

"Come on it wouldn't be that bad Sadie." Katie says to Sadie who looks even paler.

"Yeah, it is Katie! He's in the military and he's threatened Duncan with a knife already!" Sadie says, the efforts of her BFF having no real effect.

"Ok, he's tough and trained. But I'm sure he's, like, not a evil guy." Katie says to her BBF.

"Didn't matter if he's evil or not! He's going to attack me with a knife! I'm sure he's evil!" Sadie says, her concern about the fight overwhelming her reason.

(Static)

"I wouldn't be shocked with Sadie is scared out of her mind. I truly feel unfortunate about that. People have thought that since I'm in the military I must be some kind of gun-crazy sadist. And me being forced to fight an innocent girl like Sadie is not going to help me with that image. Despite what you might think about me, hurting others is not something I get pleasure from. What person would actually get a rush out of being able to inflict pain on another human being?" Rob says, his voice devoid of any sadistic relish and instead showing some remorse.

(Static)

"I take back was I said before about the universe. It is a beautiful, violent thing! Not only can I give that twerp Greg the beating he so rightly deserves but I can do so without any backlash." Duncan says in sadistic joy as he cracks his knuckles in eagerness for the fight with Greg.

(Static)

"I truly wish that Gwen was here, it's been months since I've seen her last. But her not being here means I can live out a fantasy I've been having for a while…beating the snot out Duncan!" Greg says, his sadistic joy matching Duncan's.

(Static)

"They may as well just give me my place in the next round. Baby Rattle's going to down hard." Jo says with lack of concern for Nise in her voice is truly frightening.

(Static)

Nise is shaking uncontrollably as she stares into the camera with eyes that are as unblinking as possible. She tries to speak her views but is unable to do anything except frighteningly whimper.

Eventually though, she actually starts to form words…partially, that is.

"I-I…I'm rea-really scar…" Nise starts to say before…

BUMP!

"OH NO SHE'S HERE! JO'S GOING TO KILL ME! THAT' S ALL I HAVE TO SAY! BYE! AHAHA!"

Nise then bolts out of the Confessional so fast that it leaves a dust copy of her that disappears.

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


"Moving on, similar to Duncan and Greg, this next one promises to be a vicious grudge match. Sure bring their fullest fury to the fight is the match of…Solita vs. Anna Maria!" Kevin says.

Like Duncan and Greg before, Solita and Anna Maria flash truly scary smiles at each other.

"On the opposite side of the aggression spectrum, we are daring to pair sweet and weak "C" against…sweet and weak "K"! It will be…Cody vs. Katie!" Kevin says.

While Cody looked somewhat offended by the label of "sweet and weak", that was overpowered by his staring at Katie with uncertainty for a few reasons. Katie was staring at him the same way.

"Our next pick will be interesting to say the least. Since Staci has claimed to be a master of the rapier, I can think of few people here better for her to fight than our wacko, Chris!" Kevin says.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"Hey check me out Staci. I'm the ghost of Christmas KICK YOUR ASS!" Chris exclaimed.

(Static)

"So, yeah, I've been pitted against a guy who makes Izzy look like my restrained great, great, great grandmother once removed from my dad's side?" Staci says with a look of contemplation.

This look changes and becomes one of solid iron confidence as she says, "Bring it on!"

(Static)

"Oh it is on Solita! IT IS ON!" Anna Maria shouts at the camera.

(Static)

"Anna Maria, there isn't anyone here who'd I'd rather rush at with a sharp sword!" Solita says.

(Static)

"I'm grateful for the "sweet" compliment but "weak"!?" Cody screams in offended disbelief. "I've knocked uber tough guy Duncan out cold…twice! I've endured bear and dingo attacks! I've come away from Sierra's stalker insanity with my sanity and drive perfectly preserved! True I might not in the same weight class as muscular guy like Francisco or DJ but I am not WEAK!"

(Static)

Katie and Sadie are once again in the Confessional together, though the roles have been reversed.

"Like, it's going to be ok Katie. Cody's, like, the smallest person here. Except for maybe Nanon?" Sadie says, trying to comfort a partially distraught Katie sitting next to her.

"That's true and all but Cody is tough. He's taken down Duncan more than once you know." Katie replies, still nervous about fighting the guy whose beaten Total Drama's tough bad boy.

"Yeah, but like, he really hates Duncan. And unlike Duncan, he doesn't hate you and your nice." Sadie retorted.

"Duncan has become a meanie, hasn't he?" Katie asked, realizing that Sadie was right.

"I know right! He's become such a big dumb meanie! Like my cousin Jim, remember him?" Sadie asked, becoming sidetracked, as both she and Katie often tend to do.

Katie's mouth started to move but the sound suddenly disappears. Before anyone gets mad at their TV for muting itself, a message from Total Drama appears on the screen and what it says is:

"Katie and Sadie continue to ramble on about things unrelated to the show for a very long time. Since we, and we assume you, have no interest in hearing this, we are going to skip over it."

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


"Up next, we have a bit of a odd choice in terms of fighters…Carlyle vs. Mary!" Kevin says.

The Cinefile and the Female Religious Wacko (who hasn't really been that wacko-ish) looked at each other in equal surprise.

"With our next duo we find a bit more common ground…Owen vs. Leshawna!" Kevin says.

Indeed, the two "largest" contestants looked at each other with shock but little else.

"And now we move on. I'm sorry to say this Giavanna but I must pit two of your new friends against each other. Next will be the pair of…Nanon vs. Damian!" Kevin says.

The Tall Bombshell and her two friends looked at each other as if unsure about what just happened.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"Just my luck. I finally get some friends; they have to fight each other. I don't know whom to root for." Giavanna says, truly torn between not knowing which person she should support.

(Static)

"I'm sorry for this Damian. You seem like a nice guy but the dice have fallen where they may." Nanon says, actually holding no bad feelings towards the Hellraiser.

(Static)

"My feelings towards this fight are mixed. On the one hand, I'm facing Nanon and will likely lose. But on the other, I actually get to use a real sword in combat! So awesome!" Damian says.

(Static)

"Owen, uh? I've got no hard feelings towards the white boy. But he's big, very big. Unlike most people here, I won't be able to just shove him aside with my, uh, lushness." Leshawna says, hinting at her body being larger than that of the "normal" teenage female.

(Static)

"I know I'm big but I'm also a gentle person. And Leshawna can be scary sometimes, like when she locked Heather in a freezer, or when she slapped Heather silly in Germany. At least I can be thankful that I'm not Heather! Her fashion choice would not work with my, uh, insulation." Owen says, a little frightened as he grabs his many rolls of fat to better show his "insulation".

(Static)

"So then, there's something about Mary, uh? Ha, ha." Carlyle says with a smile at the horrible pun in order to reference the movie "There's something about Mary".

(Static)

"Fighting Carlyle shouldn't be too bad. While I have no bad feelings for him, I have the feeling like he won't be the hardest person to defeat." Mary says.

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


"In keeping with a kind of precedent, this next match is a little iffy in terms of who will win. Said match being…Jay vs. Mathieu!" Kevin says.

Indeed, the two teenagers looked at each other as if they were unable to fully gauge the other even though Jay had a partial smirk on his face.

"Given that Erebus already as a sword and is likely trained with how to use it, most wouldn't have a shot against him. Yet, there's at least one person who as a reasonable chance…Francisco!" Kevin says, his voice conveying the knowing of this bringing a good fight.

In contrast to the reaction of the previous statement, Erebus and Francisco smiled at each other. The two large and muscular teenagers were clearly ready for what promised to be a tough match.

"Less as promising are the next two people fighting…Justin vs. Noah!" Kevin says.

The long-established opposites and rivals looked at each other. Justin had a confident smirk while Noah had an expression of worry.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"Under most circumstances I'd revel at the change to crush the Anti-Me but not with swords. My intellect is light-years ahead of Justin's but he's got the advantage in terms of muscles. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly Mr. Charles Atlas and I've never held a real sword before. With my prospects so bad, I'm just hoping to not embarrass myself against someone like Justin." Noah says his normal cynicism made even greater by a mostly justifiable reasoning of doubt.

(Static)

"I'm not exactly a master swordsman but since I'm facing weakling Noah, I've got this for sure." Justin says, his smirk just as it was when his fight was announced.

(Static)

"Noah is unquestionably a very smart person and a very legitimate threat to my master plan but this could be a way around that. His greatest weakness is self-pride, bitterness at personal failure. If Justin humiliates him enough, Noah will withdraw into his cynical shell and get himself voted out very quickly. Without even knowing it, Justin may give me a critical portion of my success." Jay says, afterwards revealing a smile so sickening and most unpleasant before adding, "Oh, and I'm not concerned with Matt in the slightest. Magic boy is going down!"

(Static)

"I am concerned about having to fight Jay. But being a magician, I always have illusions up my sleeves." Mathieu says with a smile as he pulls up his shirt's sleeves a bit for dramatic effect. "Let's just say that Jay's chances in this duel have gone up in a cloud of smoke" he says, winking to the camera

(Static)

"Francisco, with both the body and blood of a mighty Spaniard, is certainty no weakling or fool. As a result, this promises to be a truly epic duel." Erebus says, as always in rhyme.

(Static)

"I can't say that I enjoy fighting. To build off of a well-known saying, the tattooing needle is mightier than the sword. But I have the hunch that dueling Erebus will be interesting." Francisco says.

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


"Now we get to a match that I'm sure is going to raise eyebrows and make you scared beyond reason, quite correctly though. You see, we at Total Drama believe in ending things with a bang. At the risk of bringing the end of all time, the final match of the first round is…Ari vs. Izzy!" Kevin says with both fear and excitement present in his voice.

While the contestants had been shocked and alarmed by the match pairings so far, nothing could have compared to what they felt now. The main reason for this was Izzy's disturbing laughter.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"THANK YOU ALL MIGHTY WHATEVER YOU ARE! God, Cthulhu, Galactus, Spaghetti Monster, Morgan Freeman! You are all wonderful! Izzy's dreamed of this moment…fighting a ninja! Izzy's hoped more for this than the zombie apocalypse!" Izzy says, bursting in happiness.

(Static)

Ari is once again writing in his/her notepad before showing it to the camera: "Given that I will be using weapons that I'm well trained in and that my opponent is Izzy…I couldn't ask for a better first challenge!"

(Static)

Mary and Joseph are seen in the Confessional together with their eyes close and hands clamped together as they are both sending a rapid succession of absolute fear-filled prayers to God.

(Static)

"I see only bad things coming from this fight. But maybe I'm being too bleak?" Dawn asks.

(Static)

"This fight is going to be legendary!" Chris says, his voice conveying absolute happiness.

(Static)

"Our universe is doomed! DOOOOOOOOMED!" Carlyle exclaimed in absolute terror.

(Static)

"Like I said, legend, wait for it…dairy! Right from the very cows of drama themselves!" Chris says, sounding as if some odd point had been proven.

(Static)

"Holy shit... this gonna be EPIC!" Jay exclaims in gleeful excitement.

(Static)

"Why do I suspect this is gonna be something straight out of an awesome Kung-fu flick?" Duncan asks.

END OF CONFESSIONAL


"And now all of the contestants have been arranged into pairs of battles we can…" Kevin says before being interrupted.

"Wait a second Kevin! You forgot about Dawn!" Chris says to the host.

After a few seconds of thinking it over, Kevin's face became one of realization before saying, "Oh…so I did. My apologies to you Dawn, there are so many of you teenagers that I've just met. And, thanks to the numb-nuts who run this little dog and pony show, there's an odd number here. How about this, how about you don't have to fight and can't get voted off if the Avatars lose?" Kevin asks Dawn.

The Moonchild nodded her head 'yes'.

It was then that she noticed a table next to Kevin that had the fabric armour both beige and scaly. She also noticed that Solita already started going through them, figuring out the obvious next step.

"Very good. Anyway, please come here to claim your Dragonskin armor. Everyone has an outfit with their name on it that is also the correct size. After getting yours, please go to either the nearby public restrooms or the trailers to change. To everyone else aside from Dawn, a call will be placed out in fifteen minutes to report to the fighting ring." Kevin says as Solita had found hers and started heading off for a nearby restroom.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"I wasn't exactly looking forward to fighting anyone here but I really wouldn't want to fight Dawn. She's like Evanna Lynch's Luna Lovegood crossed with Sir Ben Kingsley's Mahatma Gandhi. Who could want to threaten a Luna Gandhi?" Carlyle says.

(Static)

"I'm truly thankful to the Great Earth Mother that I don't need to engage in such a barbaric challenge. But would I do it if I had to? I've thought about it and the answer is reluctantly yes. Despite my strong reservations, I would not let my team down because I'm not like Scott!" Dawn says.

(Static)

"N-not too s-sound selfish but why couldn't I-I have been the one n-not needing to fight?" Nise asks while shaking, clearly scared out of her mind again at the thought of fighting Jo.

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


A few minutes after Kevin showed the contestants where the fighting ring was located, someone was sneaking around. She was the only person there; all of the other teens were still changing. Kevin was nowhere to be found, possibly hearing what the producers think of the show so far.

Though her form was small, it was swift, it like her mind. How else could it be that she had the foresight to be the first to grab her armor made of cloth and rush off to change before anyone else? How else could it be that she imagined up the first act, the first act of villainous sabotage?

To aid her in this, she obtained help from an earlier villainous stroke of brilliance. In the Crafts and Services Tent, as most were districted by the insanity of the Chris' introduction, she snuck into the kitchen and quickly took an item from it. Though she didn't know how, given that the first challenge was likely to be physical in nature she was reassured that it would come in handy.

And she was right. She couldn't tell whether it was grease or some kind of cooking oil. It didn't matter which it was. What did matter was that she was covering the entire fighting ring it. Thankfully the liquid was impossible to detect on the tiles that made up the fighting arena. This liquid would make the fighting arena a bit more slippery and give everyone a much harder time.

As the Solita was pouring it with no one to bear inconvenient witness, she smiled in fullest joy.


CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"I suppose now's as good a time as any to tell you something about myself you couldn't know. My goal in this game isn't to advance myself into the winner's circle or to succeed in challenges. No. My goal is elimination, to eliminate as many people from this game as humanly possible!" Solita says with the smile on her face is the greatest it could possibly be.

"It doesn't matter whether they are strong or weak, on the other two teams or my own…all that matters is the body count, the number of people whose chances have been ruined by my actions. You must be asking; why am I doing such a foul thing, literally unprecedented in Total Drama? I'm not at liberty to say but be assured, I have my reasons. Good reasons.

"While I truly don't care what you people think of me, I do want to clarify one vital detail. My desire to form true friendships with Mary, Joey, and Owen is sincere. They might become my first friends. I hope they do. Even so, I don't fully trust them. I've fallen into that trap too often. I need to look for myself in this competition because nobody else will. Nobody else ever does." Solita says, switching from a fairly neutral tone to one more downtrodden and bitter.

(Static)

END OF CONFESSIONAL


These this endnote is already going to be massive, there will be nothing that doesn't have a number except a recapping of the matches in the first round and the weapons being used.

1. Melody (Jian sword) vs. Giavanna (Scottish Broadsword)

2. Joseph (Janbiya dagger) vs. Britney (Cutlass)

3. Harold (Katana) vs. DJ (Guan Dao Pole Sword)

4. Rob (CRK 9-inch Combat Knife) vs. Sadie (Katar Daggers)

5. Duncan (Kilij) vs. Greg (Gladius short swords)

6. Nise (Xiphos Short Sword) vs. Jo (Two-Handed Highlander Claymore)

7. Solita (Khanda) vs. Anne Maria (Machete)

8. Katie (KA-BAR Combat knives) vs. Cody (Falcata)

9. Chris (Norman Broadsword) vs. Staci (French Rapier)

10. Mary (Cruciform) vs. Carlyle (Bowie Knife)

11. Owen (Glaive) vs. Leshawna (Naginata Pole Sword)

12. Nanon (Recon-1 Combat Knife) vs. Damian (Viking Long Sword)

13. Jay (Kukri) vs. Mathieu (Cavalry Saber)

14. Erebus (Custom-Made Cane Sword) vs. Francisco (Sword of Mars)

15. Justin (Arabian Scimitar) vs. Noah (Kopis Short Sword)

16. Ari (Ninjatos) vs. Izzy (Twin Hooks)

(1) This is our attempt at having a true Total Drama style opening. Similar to the initial interactions, some of these brief scenes have a deeper meaning and are foreshadowing. Others are simply little moments that we thought would be funny or to fit characters in. Once again, the task of determining which are which falls upon you to figure out.

(2) Kukri- An extremely sharp curved blade, almost looks like a boomerang with a sharp end and handle… commonly used as a tool and weapon by the British-Aligned Ghurkha Mercenaries. Ideal for throwing and stabbing.

(3) Highlander Claymore- An extremely long and heavy double edged blade made famous in Braveheart, originally used by the ancient Celts and their Scottish descendants, including William Wallace and Jack Churchill.

(4) Xiphos short sword- As mentioned, was the main blade of the Spartan Army, if you've seen 300 or know ANYTHING about ancient Spartan warfare, you know this blade, and how brutally effective it is despite its small size.

(5) Ninjato Short blades- A shorter version of the katana commonly used by Ninjas.

(6) This is Sebastian, an OC from The Kobold Necromancer's amazing story "Total Drama Battlegrounds". Seriously, if you haven't read this story or its prequel, "Total Drama Comeback", then I highly recommend them! They are truly amazing stories!

(7) Kilij- A heavy, long razor sharp sword that could reportedly cut through 2-3 people at once in the right hands. Was the sword Vlad Tepes (Aka the Impaler) carried into battle.

(8) Janbiya dagger- A long curved dagger used by Arabian tribes for 1000 year before the debut of Islam.

(9) Cruciform sword- Was the common sword among 15th century British and French knights during the 15th century. Double edged, is so named because its hilt is designed to look like a crucifix.

(10) Falcata- A slightly-curved Iron Sword, was famously wielded by the Carthagian ruler and master general Hannibal during his campaign to destroy the Roman Empire, the 20 year long second Punic War.

(11) Sword of Mars- Long, heavy double-edged sword used by Attila the Hun in battle.

(12) Gladius short swords- Was the standard blade used by the Roman Army during the time of Christ.

(13) Arabian Scimitar- The standard infantry blade of the Ottoman Empire, long, thin, curved single edge sword.

(14) Katar daggers- An exotic "Push Dagger" from India, was basically a 10-inch double-edged wedge connected to a handle, was used like brass and spiked knuckles are today, except far more bloody and brutal.

(15) KA-BAR combat knives- The standard combat knife of the U.S Army for almost a century, is still issued to armies world-wide today, including Israel, Australia, India, and our own Canadian forces.

(16) Guan Dao pole sword- Was a 10-inch curved single-edge blade connected to a staff, was used mainly by the Ming Dynasty in China.

(17) Glaive pole sword- Basically the western version of the Guan Dao, with a heavier blade at the end. Commonly used throughout Medieval Europe, but most commonly in Russia, Romania, Serbia, and their neighbors.

(18) CRK Mark IV 9-inch combat knife- A long double-edge straight blade used by special forces throughout the world, Including the U.S Army Rangers, and our own Canadian Forces Joint Task Force 2. Production of this model ceased in 2009, still commonly available.

(19) Norman Broadsword- A heavy, unwieldy (in the wrong hands) straight, double-edged sword, used by William the Conqueror.

(20) Twin Hook swords- An extremely exotic sword used by Shaolin Monks, had a hooked end, and blades surrounding the handle so Two of them could be linked together and used like a whip or ball and chain. Can also be used to effectively disarm your opponent quickly

(21) Scottish Broadsword- Another sword made famous by William Wallace, is significantly easier to carry and use than its Norman descendant, but just as deadly, if not more so.

(22) Recon-1 Combat Knife- The current standard issue Combat knife of the U.S Army, shorter than the older KA-BAR, but concealable and just as deadly.

(23) Jian sword- A long, thin, double-edged straight blade was common from the Han all the way to the Qing Dynasty.

(24) Viking Long Sword- The main sword of the Vikings… Heavy, razor sharp double-edge.

(25) Kopis Short Sword- The ancestor of the Falcata, was the blade that Alexander the Great used to cut out an Empire that stretched from Egypt to the border of modern-day India.

(26) Naginata pole sword- Like the Guan Dao and Glaive is a straight blade connected to a staff… but that's where the similarities end. The blade is lighter, more curved, sharper, and the staff is longer and lighter. A perfect mid-distance weapon for a samurai.

(27) Khanda sword- Another blade from India is a double-edged long sword without a point at the end.

(28) Cutlass- Come on… do I really need to explain what a cutlass is? If seen any movie involving pirates (Hook, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc.), you know what a cutlass is.

Side notes:

I must really thank my partner-in-crime, Rufus T. Serenity, who did 75% of the work on this chapter while I was sick, thanks dude!

Total Drama and all its characters belong to Jennifer Pertsch, Tom McGillis, Fresh TV Productions, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network.

The OC'S Kevin Rawlings, Jay, Damian, and Greg belong to me, all the others belong to Rufus and CRGGL respectively.

Basic storyline by CRGGL.