A/N: This is for you, darling reviewers. You wanted an update within 24 hours? Here it is. Happy Castle Day again, since it's actually Castle Day now! Consider this my Castle Day gift to you. A chapter's worth of incredibly depressing fanfiction. Well, what did you want, a pony? Enjoy. :)


She'd tried to go over what she was going to say to Castle tomorrow a million times, and hadn't yet come up with anything she liked. No phrasing seemed right, gentle enough without being sappy. She had no idea what time it was now, only that it was late. She'd gone to bed just before midnight, not feeling tired but knowing that she'd have to try to sleep at some point if she wanted to look even halfway normal at work the next day, but hadn't come anywhere close to falling asleep.

Her cell phone made a noise, and she picked it up from her nightstand to look at it. It was 2:37 a.m., and she had a new text message from Alexis. She opened it. "You awake?" it said simply.

She came close to just calling Alexis to give her an answer, but remembered that she didn't want to wake up Rick or Martha, and thought it would be better to give Alexis the chance to get somewhere where she wouldn't be overheard. So she typed a text message back to her. "I am," it said. "Need to talk?"

A few seconds later her phone started ringing. She sat up fully in bed and answered it. "Hey Alexis, what's up?"

"I just… couldn't sleep," the girl said, keeping her voice low. "And I remembered that you said you didn't sleep well last night, so I wondered if you were in the same position. Sorry if I'm bothering you."

"You're not bothering me at all. I couldn't sleep either. Trying to figure out how I'm gonna tell your dad tomorrow… not an easy task."

"Come up with anything?"

"As a matter of fact, no," she sighed. "But I'll figure it out. I'll probably just have to see what feels right in the moment. What's keeping you up?"

"Oh, you know," she said, with mock nonchalance. "Just normal stuff. My dad's not really my dad, my mom's a psychopath… nothing unusual."

"Mm. That." She nodded, although Alexis obviously couldn't see that through the phone. "You don't sound very sleepy," she observed.

"Neither do you."

Kate shrugged. "Yeah, I'm sure that'll all change come tomorrow morning. I'm gonna need a vat of coffee just to get to the precinct."

"I'll be lucky if I don't fall asleep in class tomorrow. I was okay today, but that was after only one night without much sleep. Tomorrow will be two."

"Very true. I wish I didn't know from experience how much of a difference that makes. But I can tell you it's quite a bit."

"I just can't stop thinking. What do you think he's going to say after you tell him?"

"I don't know." She bit her lip, wishing she had an answer to that, both for Alexis's benefit and her own. "There are so many different ways it could go. Better to just wait and see than to worry about it."

"But I can't just not worry about it, and obviously you can't either."

"Yeah, I know, you're right. It's hard. But we both should at least try to get some sleep."

"I know. It's just harder than it sounds."

"If it wasn't, we'd both be asleep right now. I just can't wait until this is out in the open. At least with your dad. I hate keeping this from him, it feels terrible."

"I know," Alexis agreed. I hate keeping secrets from him. Especially one this big. But it has to be the right time."

"I told him it was probably nothing," Kate sighed, finally exposing a detail that had been bothering her.

"What was?"

"When he was worried that you were hiding something from him. I told him he was probably overreacting. That it was no big deal. Even after I knew what it was. And I think he believed me. I was just trying to get him to stop asking questions, but I don't want him to be completely blindsided either."

"He's gonna be blindsided no matter what," Alexis said gently. "I'm sure this is the last thing he'd ever expect."

"You're probably right. I just feel like such a bad friend. I'm lying to him, I'm keeping things from him, I actually stole his DNA… when I finally tell him this he'll have every right to hate me."

"You're so wrong. There's no way I could get through this without you. You deserve to be an honorary member of the Castle family for this. Actually," she laughed humorlessly, "you're as much a part of the family as I am."

"That's not even remotely true, but thank you."

"He could never hate you, for the record. He might get frustrated with you, but he'll never hate you."

"Even if I deserve it?" She smirked.

"I can't see you ever doing anything to deserve it, but even if you did… I don't think that he could."

"You're probably right. He lacks… judgment, sometimes."

Alexis sighed. "Can we maybe not badmouth my dad right now? Considering we're going to completely destroy his whole world tomorrow, it doesn't really seem like the time."

She nodded. "No, you're right. I love the guy, it's just, sometimes he's easy to—"

Alexis chuckled, interrupting her.

"What?"

"Nothing. What were you saying?"

"No, what? Why did you laugh?"

"That's just the second time you've said that today."

"I've said what?" She genuinely had no idea what Alexis was talking about.

"That you love him."

"Oh." She felt herself blush. "I didn't mean…"

"Yeah you did," Alexis interrupted her again. "Both times you did. You might not have meant to say it, but you meant what you were saying."

"I just meant, you know, he's my friend. And I love him because… he's my friend." She felt like she was digging herself deeper into the hole now, and her brain was too tired to figure a way out of it.

"You should tell him that," Alexis suggested, catching her completely off guard.

"What?"

"Tomorrow. When you tell him about… me. You should tell him everything you've told me. That he's your friend, and you love him, and you love me, and you want to be there for us however you can. I think it would mean a lot. It might even help soften the news a little."

"Oh, sweetie…" Even if Alexis was right, it was one thing to say these things to her, and something completely different to say them to her father.

"Just think about it," she suggested. "You're right, it's probably best to wait and see what feels right at the moment. It's just… something to think about."

Kate sighed. "It certainly is."

"Should I let you go?"

"Are you going to go to sleep if you do?"

"Probably not."

"Yeah, me neither. Might as well keep talking."


Somewhere into the conversation Alexis stopped responding. When Kate realized this she smiled and hung up the phone, pressing the "end call" button gently, as if it would make a difference. She was glad that at least someone had fallen asleep.


"You look like you need this today," Castle observed, sliding a coffee cup across her desk.

She smiled and nodded, taking the coffee cup gratefully. "You have no idea," she murmured. She thought it was best not to mention that she'd already had three cups this morning and was still in desperate need of more.

"You feeling okay? You don't have a whole lot of color going on there."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night, that's all."

"Any particular reason?"

"No," she lied. "Just one of those nights." She wondered if Alexis was any livelier this morning than she was. Part of her hoped that Castle would say something about her, while another part of her hoped he didn't make any sort of connection at all.

As it happened, he didn't. All he said was, "I get that. Drink the coffee."

She took a sip of it and then heard her cell phone make a noise. She looked at it and smiled. New text from Alexis. Maybe she didn't have to get all the information she wanted about the girl from her father anymore. She opened it. "Sorry I fell asleep on you last night," it read.

"That's okay," she typed in response. "I'm glad you did."

"Who are you talking to?" Castle asked teasingly. "Is there someone special on the scene that you're not telling me about?"

Yeah, your daughter, she wanted to say, but didn't. "Don't worry about it, Castle," she said instead. "It's none of your business."

"Fine. What's going on with the case? That's more exciting than prying into your personal life anyway."

She wished she was more confident that this would remain his opinion in the next few days, but that was neither here nor there. She updated him on the case, hoping it would be enough to distract them both for the rest of the day.


"Almost here," Kate texted Alexis from the cab as she neared Castle's apartment.

"I'm already in my room," the teenager responded a minute later. "And Gram's out, so you're good."

She sighed. "Thanks," she sent back as she got out of the cab. She felt her heart rate accelerate as she entered the building, and even more as she went up the elevator.

"Good luck," another text from Alexis read. This didn't help.

She rang Castle's bell, and it didn't take him long to come to the door. "Hey, Beckett," he greeted her, smiling. "Did I know you were coming over?"

She shook her head. "No, you didn't. Is this a bad time?"

"No, actually it's a good time. Alexis is doing homework and my mother has her acting class. Come in." He stepped away from the door and ushered her inside. "Any particular reason you stopped?"

"Yeah, I actually have to talk to you about something."

He must've sensed her nervousness, which couldn't have been hard when she felt like it was radiating from her every pore, because he frowned. "Sounds serious," he said. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm not sure I'd say that. Can we sit down?"

"Sure." He led her to the couch and took a seat. She sat down beside him. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "It's not about me. Alexis came to see me the other day."

He frowned. "Oh? What day?"

"Sunday. When you were at your book signing."

"Okay. Why? What's going on? I knew there was something she wasn't telling me."

"She came to see me because she got a call from her mom, and she was pretty upset about it."

He rolled his eyes. "What did Meredith do now?"

"Nothing… recently, not as far as I know."

"Then what?" He chuckled. "Come on, you're making me nervous here."

She sighed. "You're not… going to like this."

"Kate, come on," he said, sobering. "Whatever it is, I'm sure I can handle it. Just tell me."

She wasn't as sure as he was, but she had to tell him anyway. "Okay. Meredith told Alexis that around the time she…" Beckett hesitated. This was not a comfortable area, discussing Castle and Meredith's previous sex life, no matter how indirectly. "Around the time she got pregnant with Alexis, she was seeing someone else. Who wasn't you. Or she saw him once. I don't know the details, and frankly I don't want to know the details."

Castle frowned, more confused than deflated. "So you're saying she cheated on me? Okay… might've been the first time, but it wasn't the last."

"More than that, though." He had to know it was more than that. She wouldn't have come here just to tell him that. "I guess Meredith wasn't completely sure when she got pregnant who the father was… so after Alexis was born she had a paternity test done."

"A paternity test," he repeated, frowning. "We were married then. Why did she never tell me about it?"

"Probably because she didn't want you to know that she cheated on you… and also because…" Her voice faded. Castle still wasn't grasping, and she didn't especially want to burst his innocent bubble.

"Because what?" he asked impatiently, maybe even a little angrily, which made her think he understood more than he was letting on. More, probably, than he wanted to understand.

"Because… Rick…"

"Why are you calling me Rick?" he interrupted her. "You never call me Rick. Don't call me Rick."

She sighed. "She didn't tell you," she started again, "because you weren't the father."

He frowned. "What?"

"Look." She took the printout from the test she'd had Lanie run out of her purse. "I wouldn't be telling you this if I hadn't checked it myself." She showed it to him, and pointed out the bits of the page that Lanie had explained to her. "I had Lanie run this with your DNA and Alexis's. It's not a match."

"How the hell did you get my DNA?" he asked, staring at the page angrily.

She looked away. "Stole your coffee cup."

His eyes widened. "You stole-!" But he broke off suddenly, turning his attention to the page. "It has to be a mistake." He met her eyes hopefully, and she could tell that he still hadn't fully grasped any of this. "Right? It's a mistake."

She shook her head. "Lanie did it herself. She said it was conclusive."

"So Lanie knows?" he demanded.

"No. She just did the test, she didn't know who she was doing it for."

"But she's not stupid. She must've figured it out."

"She guesses. She doesn't know."

"But you're sure?"

"As sure as I can be, or I wouldn't be telling you this."

He frowned. "You've known since Sunday, and you didn't say anything to me?"

"Well, I didn't get the results back until last night."

"But all day today." Something clicked in his mind, and his face changed. Softened just a little. "That's why you looked so tired this morning."

"Might've had something to do with it."

"How did you even get involved in all this?"

"Alexis came to me. Right after she talked to her mom. She was really upset, understandably, and she said she had to talk to someone who wasn't in her family."

"Why didn't she tell me?" he asked, his voice suddenly quiet.

She wasn't sure if that was a real question, one that required an answer, but she tried anyway. "Because she knew it would upset you."

"So she told you?"

"We've been talking," she explained. "Trying to figure out how to handle everything."

"She's not…" Kate watched as everything, all of the news, finally reached his face. The confused annoyance left in favor of acknowledgement, surprise, outrage, and finally pain. "She's not my daughter?"

She swallowed. Part of her felt like she should be relieved that he was finally understanding, but the dominant part of her just hated seeing him so upset. "Of course she's your daughter, Castle," she said gently. "You're the one who raised her for her entire life."

"But she's not really… she's not really mine."

She remembered Alexis's suggestion from the night before, the words that could help to soften the blow. I love you. I love both of you, and I'll be here for you no matter what. Whatever you need. But she couldn't make herself say it. So instead she nudged his hand gently with hers, trying through that one simple touch to convey all the thoughts that she couldn't say out loud.

But he flinched away immediately, rejecting her like she'd rejected him in the hospital that day. But between the lines rejection didn't hurt any less.

"Does she know?" he asked.

Kate pulled herself out of her thoughts, clasped her hands awkwardly on her lap, and frowned. "What, Alexis? Of course she knows, she told me."

"No." He shook the page of test results that he was still holding. "This. Does she know about this?"

She nodded. "She came to my place last night and I showed her then."

"She told me she was going to a friend's."

"She was," she said, a little defensively.

He stood up. "Okay, come on."

She frowned. "Where are we going?"

"I have to talk to Alexis."

She nodded. "Good. You should. I'll leave you alone."

"No, you absolutely will not."

She looked at him. He was serious. "What?"

"I'm going to talk to her, and you're coming with me. You're a part of this and that's clear. You know at least as much about it as I do. So you're staying, and you're coming."


A/N: You don't even know how much you appreciate the editing job I did today. So I'm going to tell you. :P You think THIS is a cliffhanger? It's not. Okay, it kind of is, but it was going to be worse. My original cuts had chapter four ending after the scene in the precinct. But then when I read back over it I realized how absurdly short a chapter that would've been. And there was also the fact that you guys were all VERY insistent about Castle finding out ASAP. :P So I figured I was torturing him enough, and that I should probably clue him in as to why. Or, Beckett should. Anyway.

What this means is that I now really only have the first five chapters pre-written instead of the first six, since I had to change some things... so after the next chapter the updates will probably start coming a bit more slowly. But I do think it's better this way, and I'm sure you agree. :) How annoyed with me would you have been if at the end of this chapter Castle still didn't know?

Those of you who guessed that Castle already knew... that would've been an awesome twist, but no. I didn't even THINK of that. So I'm impressed that you did, but that's not the direction I wanted to go. :)

All of your reviews have been amazing though. I love when you make me consider things that I didn't think of previously, it's what makes my writing better. And you guys have been awesome with that. So thanks so much, and keep 'em coming! And never be shy about reviewing, no matter what it is you want to say. I don't bite. Usually. :)

Anyway. I gave you a Castle Day present. How about some reviews in return? Please and thank you. :)