Disclaimer: Stephenie owns all.
Rated M for some language, a few intoxicants (though not this chapter), and a lotta future naughtiness (but it'll be a while, folks—they take their time in this story).
~IN~
Chapter 4
Home for Christmas
Bella
Charlie was waiting for me after I passed through security at the airport. In an uncharacteristic gesture, he grabbed me in a bear hug. Releasing my suitcase's handle to free my hand, I returned the hug fiercely. I'd missed him, too.
After a moment, he stepped back, huffed, and said, "Good to have you home."
I muttered, "Thanks, Dad." He took the suitcase before I could and led the way out to where his cruiser was parked. A light mist hung in the air, but no rain fell, for which I was thankful.
"How are you liking college?" he asked as we exited the airport and got onto the interstate toward Forks.
"Oh, it's great. I like my classes, and my roommate is cool. Williamsburg is pretty different, but I like it a lot. The campus is beautiful."
"That's good." He paused for second, and then he asked, "Not too far away for you?"
I suppressed a grin; he wasn't very subtle. "Nah, it's good to see an area I'd never seen before. Lots of history there, and it just feels different. It's interesting."
"Humph. Well, as long as you're happy." Disappointment colored his voice.
"You could always come visit me, you know. You must have a year's worth of leave saved up." At his doubtful look, I teased, "They have fishing in Virginia—the Chesapeake or one of the rivers might be a nice change."
He chuckled. "Now that's a thought. Maybe."
~IN~
The next morning, I woke early, still on east coast time, and took the opportunity to make Charlie breakfast before he left for his shift. I puttered around the house, waiting until the stores opened to finish my Christmas shopping. Lounging on the sofa with a book, I was startled when the phone rang. A groan escaped me when I saw the caller ID, but I decided I'd have to talk to him sometime. Might as well get it over with.
"Hey, Jake."
"Bella! How's it going, loca? Liking school?"
"It's great. I love it. The campus is awesome, I liked my classes, and my roommate is really nice. How are things with you?"
"Oh, I'm cool. School's going good. Keeping up my grades, you know."
"That's great, Jake." I was not going to take the bait and ask why.
Clearing his throat when he realized I wouldn't bite, he asked, "So, are you seeing anyone?"
I sighed. Like Charlie, Jake's strengths did not include subtlety.
"I've been dating a little, nothing serious. How about you?"
I heard a snort over the line. "Duh, no. I told you; I'm waiting for you, babe."
I snorted impatiently. "I told you, too. It's not gonna happen. Let's not have a repeat of that conversation. Please."
As usual, anything he didn't want to hear just didn't penetrate. "Hey, I applied to William & Mary. Should hear sometime after the holidays. So, who is this guy you're dating?"
"Just another freshman. I said it's not serious." I did not relish the thought of a detailed conversation about Mike when I wasn't sure myself where that relationship stood. "Jake, don't come—or at least, don't come for me. You're just going to get hurt. I love you. You're my best friend. But please let that be all." Why does he have to be so stubborn?
"Chill, Bella. Just letting you know. I know what I'm doing. Hey, I'm looking forward to W&M." His voice held its usual cockiness.
"What about your dad?" Low blow, Bella. I felt like such a bitch throwing his wheelchair-bound father in his face just to save myself some trouble, but I was also genuinely concerned. His dad needed help that Jake couldn't give him from across the country.
"Oh, that's all good. Rachel and Paul are engaged. She's moving home after graduation, and they're getting married at the end of May. Sam and some others are gonna help us install some ramps and widen doorways so Dad's okay in the house, and she'll be here in La Push to keep an eye on him and help with things."
The genuine thrill for Billy that went through me made me feel a little better about myself—not so bitchy, after all. The Blacks' house was not built with wheelchairs in mind, and Jake had to carry his dad to bed each night since he couldn't fit through the door to the bedroom. Modifications to the house to make it easier for Billy to get around would make a huge difference in his life. "Wow! What great news! That'll be wonderful for your dad. I didn't realize Rachel and Paul were so serious. "
"Yeah, they moved pretty quickly, but they're good together. Wait'll you see Paul—you're not gonna believe how sappy he looks when he's with her." His laugh, warm and boisterous, made me grin. "He hardly ever loses his temper anymore. Some of the guys have a bet to see how long he can go before he punches someone out."
I laughed along with Jake. Paul's temper was infamous—or at least, it used to be. A stab of nostalgia hit me—Jake and I were laughing the way we used to, before romance got in the way. It felt so good just to be friends again.
"Well, if you get in, Williamsburg is great, and William & Mary is a really good school. You'll get a top-notch education and a look at another part of the country." The rest of the thought stayed unspoken: Jake, don't think you're gonna change my mind. It's just not there for me.
He snickered. Torn between amusement and irritation, I waited to see what he'd say.
"We'll see. Don't worry; I'm not gonna bug you about it your whole break. I do want to see you while you're home, though. And hey, you gotta come out for the New Year's bonfire. Everybody'll want to see you."
"Yeah, that sounds like fun. A bonfire on the beach sounds perfect for New Year's. And Jake, I missed you lots. Really."
"Sure, sure. Back atcha. See you later."
"Bye."
A variety of emotions ran through me as I hung up, a blend I'd become accustomed to. Hopefully, he'd find someone else and we could go back to our earlier, easy relationship. Until then, I was stuck with this mixture of affection, sorrow, irritation, and love. Reluctant to spend any more time dwelling on the Jake situation, I saw with relief that stores would be open. Presents, here I come!
~IN~
Within an hour, I realized Forks just didn't have everything I needed. Before going to Port Angeles, though, I decided to stop by the diner and get some coffee. As soon as I walked in the door, I heard a familiar voice call my name.
"Bella, hi! Want to join me?"
I looked in that direction and saw Angela, one of my high school friends and the kindest person I'd ever met. I immediately walked over to join her, grinning my delight at running into her. We hugged each other, and I sat down across from her.
"Hi, Angela! How have you been?"
"Great. Just stopping for a break before the boys get out of kindergarten. I pick them up at the school in about an hour." I remembered that Angela had postponed her college plans when her mom was diagnosed with cancer, so she could stay home and help care for her twin brothers.
"Oh? How are they doing? Terrorizing the school?"
She laughed; when I'd left for Virginia, they'd been a pair of the rowdiest boys the Forks preschool had seen in quite a while. "Pretty much. They're settling down a bit, but not a whole lot."
The waitress came over and served my coffee before topping off Angela's.
Stirring in some sugar, I asked, "How is your mom doing?"
She sobered but didn't look too sad. "Really good, actually. She responded very well to treatment, and they think they caught it early enough. She's done with the treatment now; she just has to go back every so often so they can check for recurrence." She half-smiled. "It's too soon to say she's officially in remission, but . . . it looks hopeful."
"Wow, that's awesome!" I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "I'm so glad. You must be so relieved."
She squeezed back. "Oh, you can't even imagine! Dad has been a basket case, but quietly, you know? Feels he has to be this spiritual rock for the rest of us, but he was terrified." Angela's dad, as kind as Angela, served as pastor at one of the local churches. "And the boys . . . well, they don't really get it, but they picked up on how Dad and I were feeling." She chuckled a little. "I think that's half the reason they get so hyper."
Smiling, I said, "Probably." I wondered if she'd been able to do anything for herself. She was really smart, and if it hadn't been for her mom's illness, she'd have had her pick of colleges. "Have you been able to do any classes? You said you were going to try and get some credits at the community college in Port Angeles—did that work out?"
"Yeah, it did. I haven't been able to take a full load, but I took three classes last semester and I'm signed up for four in the next. If Mom keeps doing well, I'll be able to transfer to a four-year college next year." She paused and looked down. "In fact, I went ahead and applied to U-Dub. And William & Mary, too, just for the fun of it."
Shocked—not by U-Dub, since that's where most of the college-bound students in Forks applied, but that she'd consider crossing the country—I just sat and stared at her for a moment before my excitement bubbled through.
"Wow, Ang, that's so cool! Do you think that would work, going so far?"
"I think so. I mean, it all depends on how my mom's doing, but she sat me down in the fall. I guess someone mentioned to her that applications were starting to be due, and it got her thinking. She said that I needed to plan my own future; I couldn't just stay in Forks forever. She told me to apply and see what happened, and if I got accepted and could work out the finances, not to pass up the chance. So we talked about where I could go, and I filled out a bunch of apps to school here in Washington, but then I mentioned how much your emails said you liked Williamsburg, and she said why not? So I did."
"It would great if you came—it really is wonderful. So different from here, but not so much that it's a complete shock. And the history . . . Ang, you'd love it. You step outside your door, and you're feet away from something that's at least two hundred years old." Angela loved history; she'd have a blast walking around the colonial area and seeing the old buildings. She'd probably find a way to join some of the archaeological digs there.
She sighed. "That sounds perfect. Well, we'll see. I'll keep my fingers crossed."
"Me, too. And hey, don't forget to apply for scholarships. There's a lot of money out there, but you have to apply for it. William & Mary's not that expensive, all things considered—I bet you could get enough to cover almost all of the expense." If she got accepted, I didn't want her to think of money as an insurmountable barrier. I had several scholarships, and I knew more was available than most people were aware of.
"Thanks, I'll do that." I loved the hint of excitement in her smile. "Do you like the classes?"
"Oh, yeah, I've had some really great ones." We talked about classes and the professors for a while until my curiosity about our former classmates got too strong.
"Have you seen anyone from school?" I asked.
"Not really." Her eyes dropped as she traced a pattern on the tablecloth. "I've heard a bunch of them are coming home for break, but I haven't run into . . . anyone."
The blush on her face gave her away; she didn't mean just "anyone."
Gently, I asked, "Still thinking about Ben?"
She exhaled sharply, her face resigned. "Yeah. I try not to, but . . . well, it hasn't worked. He is coming back for break, I heard, but it's not like he's going to look me up."
"You never know." I didn't know whether to be encouraging or not. "Sometimes he really did seem to like you . . . but . . . "
Her lips twisted in a sarcastic smile that looked so wrong on her face. "But . . . exactly. Nothing."
I felt sorry for her. She and Ben were both so shy; I'd lost track of how many times I'd watched one looking at the other, then quickly away when they thought the other looked back. Still, she hadn't played hard to get—he just never asked her out. Maybe it would be good for her to get out of town—start fresh far away from the history here, as well as far enough away that she couldn't feel compelled to come home every weekend to help her family. She deserved some time for herself.
I decided it was time to change the subject. "So, no one else around?"
She chuckled. "Well, I did have lunch with Eric over Thanksgiving weekend. He's at U-Dub, you know?" Eric had been kind of a geek in high school, but sweet and likeable. He'd been on the school newspaper and in most of the plays, and he knew his way around a computer.
"I'd heard that. So what's he doing?"
"Slowly realizing it's time to come out of the closet."
I laughed, unable to help myself. "Really? Finally."
She laughed too. "It's funny, because I think we all knew before he did." Her laughter faded. "I felt sorry for him, though. I think he's been struggling, but he seemed almost relieved to talk about it. I think it took getting out of Forks, to a bigger city like Seattle, where he didn't have to feel like he needed to explain to every person on the street, you know?"
"Hmm, I bet you're right." Angela must have seemed like a perfect person to talk to for Eric; if anyone in town could be counted on to be a good listener, she was the one. And her insight now struck me as undoubtedly correct. "Forks has its good points, but it's hard to break out of old labels when everyone's known you since you were a baby."
"Yeah. I know how that goes." She sighed.
"I think we all do." We looked at each other and burst into giggles. I pointed at myself, "The shy, bookish, clumsy daughter of the Chief, who's dating that kid from the rez—even though I wasn't except for a couple of months."
Angela mirrored my gesture. "The quiet pastor's daughter who helps her mother keep track of those hellion twin boys."
We laughed and tossed out a couple of other labels for people we'd gone to school with. When the waitress came to refill our coffees and offer some coffee cake—which we decided would be great—Angela took the opportunity to turn the conversation to me.
"So, how's your social life over there? Seeing anyone?" She raised her eyebrows.
Anyone else I'd have brushed off with a quick meaningless response, but not Angela. "Well, I've dated this guy a couple of times, Mike. Not seriously though. I mean, he's nice, and I usually have fun. But whenever he calls to ask me out, my first instinct is to think of an excuse for why I can't go." I sighed. "That's not really a good sign, is it?"
She giggled. "Don't think so, no. Why are you seeing him?"
"Um, like I said, he's nice, he's a pretty good kisser . . . do I need true love just for a date?"
"Maybe you do—or at least you shouldn't be sure that it's not true love. Know what I mean?"
"Hmm, I guess . . . no, not really." I laughed at my own confusion.
Giggling, she said, "Well, you seem really sure that he's not it for you—is that accurate? Can you see yourself with him in five years? Or heck, even a year?"
I gave that some thought. Could I? A year, maybe—we'd still be in school and I could imagine us going to his games that I didn't understand and my movies that he didn't understand. But five years? No way. I couldn't picture that at all.
"Hmm, no, I really can't. Especially not past school."
"Then that's your answer. I mean, obviously, if you loved him, all good. But even if you weren't sure whether you could love him, you could still keep dating him to see how it developed. But this guy—you already know you don't love him. There's no question in your mind that I can see." I nodded; I had no doubt at all that I would never be in love with Mike. "So why date him?" Angela continued. "Do you like dating just for fun?"
I snorted. "No, definitely not. Dating is way too stressful to be called fun. Fun is a group of good friends enjoying themselves, not getting all emo about what to wear so you make just the right impression and then overthinking every word you say while you're out." People who thought dating was fun needed their heads examined.
Angela persisted. "Do you want to sleep with him—is that why you're going out with him?"
"Hell, no." A little surprised at how quickly and forcefully that answer came, I realized that some part of me was very sure about this.
She looked at me expectantly. When my lack of response continued, she huffed an exasperated breath. "Do you need me to spell it out?"
"Okay, I see your point." Wow, she'd just zeroed right in; I felt almost dazed at how quickly she'd led me to my conclusion. "Maybe it's time to give up on this one."
I sighed and took some money out to pay for the coffee. "I've gotta finish my Christmas shopping."
"Yeah, it's about time for me to get the boys. Can we get together again while you're home?"
"Of course! At least a couple more times."
We left the diner together, then went our separate ways. She'd given me something to think about on the hour drive to Port Angeles.
~IN~
Christmas passed quietly. I convinced a skeptical Charlie to help me decorate the tree, and he smiled and admitted it looked nice when we turned out the lights to watch it glow. Charlie always tried to let his deputies have the holiday off, so he spent most of the day at the station. After calling Renee, I spent the day cooking and reading until Charlie came home. I interpreted his silence over dinner as a sincere compliment—he couldn't talk with his mouth perpetually full.
The days until New Year's Eve passed more quickly than I'd have liked. My time at home was proving more enjoyable than I'd expected, especially reconnecting with Angela. I even had fun with Jake—we got together a few times, and he kept to his word not to mention any hint of us as a couple. I let myself forget that part and just enjoy time with my best friend. Before I knew it, New Year's Eve had arrived: time for the bonfire.
Dusk was falling as I arrived at First Beach, and groups of people were scattered along the sand. The bonfire had been lit, but it wouldn't really get going until full dark. I wandered from group to group, greeting old friends. Jake stood with his closest friends, Quil, Embry, and Seth, at the far end of the beach. Seeing his sister first, I stopped and gave her a hug.
"Rachel, congratulations! Jake told me the good news." I said with a grin.
"Thanks, Bella. Yeah, I never thought I'd come back to La Push, but, well, things change." Her smile glowed, and she looked happier than I'd seen her in a long time.
At that point, Paul joined us and slung an arm around Rachel's shoulders. I greeted him a little nervously; I'd never been his favorite person.
"Hi, Paul. I was just telling Rachel how happy I am for you both."
He looked down at her with a fond grin and snuggled her closer to his side. "Thanks, Bella. She's amazing, isn't she?" She blushed and gazed back at him. My presence obviously unnecessary, I moved on, giggling. Jake hadn't been kidding about the change in Paul; he was just a cute little puppy with Rachel.
When I reached the group with Jake, they welcomed me with hugs, eager questions about school, and the type of teasing trash talk we were all comfortable with. As night fell and the beach grew colder, we gathered closer to the fire. Stories were told and songs were sung, and I felt at peace. Looking away from the flames, my eyes adjusted and I could see a few stars where the clouds had parted slightly. I smiled a little and sighed in happiness.
Feeling Jake's arm come around my shoulder, I considered asking him to move it, but I felt too happy to want to start a fight. If he didn't take it any further, it would be fine. And he didn't, for a long time. I had almost convinced myself that he'd given up on me when everyone started shouting and wishing each other a happy new year: midnight had struck. Looking around, I saw many people exchanging kisses, and I realized what I'd let myself in for. Without really wanting to but feeling that I should get it over with, I turned my head to look at Jake.
His eyes were warm and loving as he said in a husky voice, "Happy New Year, Bella." And he kissed me. It was barely more than a peck, but as he drew back, I could tell he hadn't given up on anything. He wanted more than friendship, and he still thought he could convince me. He didn't say anything, though, and I pretended I hadn't noticed anything as I replied, "Happy New Year, Jake," and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
~IN~
A/N: Huge thanks to EmilyBowden for being my prereader and beta extraordinaire, as well as McGee42 at Project Team Beta for checking this out.
I also have a beautiful new banner by the wonderful heatherdawn – see the link on my profile.
Next chapter—Edward's spring semester—is outlined, but I have some contests and charity contribution pieces to write, too. Never fear, it will come. :) Check my profile or follow me on twitter to see what I'm working on at any given moment, and I always do teasers in the days leading up to the next post, so you'll know when.
Thanks to all who've read, reviewed, favorited, put me on alert, or followed me on twitter – you all are wonderful! If you'd like to tell me what you thought of this chapter, click below. ;)
