Chapter 4
LOCATION: Donovan Manor
Andrew entered the dining room and asked, " What delicious meal has Niles left for us tonight? Guess it's just going to be you and me tonight at dinner Father. Jeannie said she wasn't hungry and went up to her room."
"Oh, is she upset from earlier?" Shane inquired.
"No, actually I think she went upstairs to devise the grand plan to get you and Mother together." Andrew remarked as he pulled out his chair and sat down for dinner.
"I see!" Shane smiled. "I must say she is her mother's daughter."
"Father, now that we're alone, there is something I would like to say." Andrew started as Shane poured the wine.
"Well go ahead son, I'd be interested in what you have to say." Shane reassured his son.
"I didn't want to say anything in front of Jeannie, but there are some things about you and Aunt Kayla I do remember. I suppose I was too young to fully comprehend your relationship, but I do remember some." Andrew looked up at his father to judge if he should say what he had always wanted to tell his father. "I remember you coming out to LA and hoping you had come to bring Jeannie, Mom, and me back home with you. Back to Salem, so we could be a family again. Instead you left us there and took Aunt Kayla and Stephanie with you. I hated you for that Father."
"Andrew, I'm sorry, I…" Shane began to say, but was interrupted by his son.
"No Dad, I need you to just listen for a moment." Andrew interrupted. "I hated you. I hated that you chose them instead of us, but mostly, I hated hearing Mom cry night after night in her room. I hated you for hurting Mom."
"Andrew, I am sorry." Shane sat there knowing how deeply he had let his family down. His heart ached for all the pain he had caused his family.
"Want to know how I overcame that hate?" Andrew asked his father.
Shane replied in an almost inaudible sound, "Yes son."
"It was Mom. One night after Jeannie had gone to bed, I told her how much I hated you and why." Andrew told him. "She said follow me, led me into the kitchen, and then she did the oddest thing. She got out a cheesecake and two forks and we began to talk about you while devouring the cheesecake. She called it the "Donovan Sure Fire Cure." Actually, it became quite the tradition growing up over the years. If Jeannie or I had a problem, it was usually dissected over cheesecake."
Shane had to smile at the mention of the "Donovan Sure Fire Cure."
Andrew continued by saying, "Mom reminded me of how you delivered me in the middle of nowhere. How hard you searched for me when I was kidnapped. She told me some of your spy stories and how you were the youngest to make Captain in the ISA. She told me story after story about the good times, how much you loved both Jeannie and I, and she promised me that even though you weren't living with us, I could call and talk to you anytime I wanted. I never heard her cry at night after that. It was as if, we both had found our love for you again that night. What I'm trying to say is, Mom and I both forgave you. She knows how much you love us and her. Go to her Dad, just go to her and tell her. What are you both waiting for?"
"Oh, Andrew, I have gone to her. Yes, she forgave me a long time ago. That's not the problem. She's not willing to take a chance, she can't trust me Andrew. The only thing I can do now is wait and earn her trust and respect by being there for her no matter how long it takes." Shane admitted to his son.
"You're wrong Dad! I'm not asking as a child who desperately wants his parents together. I'm grown now and I had a wonderful childhood. I just want you and Mother to be happy. Mom forgave you Father, why don't you try forgiving yourself." Andrew stated as he excused himself from the table.
LOCATION: Los Angeles, Collier Home
Kimberly had decided that a bubble bath was what she needed to soothe her hangover. She had to get her thoughts together before Phillip came home. She wasn't sure what had kept him out all night, but then again, it wasn't the first time either. Kim hoped it wasn't happening again, even though, in the back of her mind she knew it to be the truth. She couldn't go through it, she wouldn't go through it again.
As the hot bath and bubbles began to relax her body, Kim's mind drifted back in time, back to the night Shane and Kim almost found their way back to each other.
LOCATION: Donovan Manor, Christmas 1993
Shane waited for Kim's plane to land. He had missed his children and his ex-wife, even though her finance Phillip would be in tow. As passengers began to disembark, he could hardly wait to see his children, they were growing up much too fast. Mostly he couldn't wait to see his beautiful Kimberly. Andrew spotted Shane and ran to hug and kiss his father. Little Jeannie Beanie, as she was called, followed her big brother and gave her father one of her smiles and instantly Shane picked her up and twirled her round and round. She looked so much like her mother, Shane couldn't help but melt every time Jeannie smiled at him. As he saw Kimberly and their eyes met, Shane felt his heart in his throat. She was the only woman that could stop him dead in his tracks with just the sight of her. Shane looked around and noticed Phillip was nowhere to be seen, he also noticed Kim's bare finger. Kim smiled and gave Shane a polite and guarded hug. Leaning into his ear she said, "Phillip, as you've probably already observed, will not be joining us and please, don't ask."
Shane gathered his family and their bags and they headed out to his car. Andrew and Jeannie talked non-stop to Shane, they were so excited for Christmas. They each began to tell their father what they wanted Santa to bring. The children finally fell asleep about half-way home and Shane was finally able to turn his attention to Kimberly. They made small talk to avoid the awkward silence about Phillip.
As Shane pulled onto the long drive to Donovan Manor, Kim began to smile. She hadn't realized how much she missed this home. So many wonderful memories came flooding back. As Shane got out of the car and walked around to open her door, Kim sat there lost in her memories until she looked up and saw him with his hand held out for her. Kimberly placed her hand in his and got out of the car, hoping her knees wouldn't give her nervousness away. Suddenly they were standing only inches apart, as their eyes met, neither not knowing what to say or do, they just as quickly turned away.
The next morning after a family breakfast, Shane and Kim left the children with Simmons and drove back to London to shop for presents for Andrew and Jeannie. There was only two days before Christmas and there was so much to do. Shane remembered every single item on his children's wish list for Santa as they had rattled them off last night and was determined not to disappoint. Kimberly was sure they would never get it all done in time. After a full day of shopping, they made it back in time for dinner and spent the evening stringing berries and popcorn and drinking hot chocolate. Shane couldn't remember a time he was happier.
The next day was even more hectic than the day before. Shane took Andrew and Jeannie to the local merchants to buy presents for their mother and of course to show his children off. Kim had taken the children shopping in LA to pick out their father's presents and brought them on the plane. After returning home, the four Donovan's set about to find the perfect tree. Shane took them to the same field, out behind the house, his father took his family to chop down a tree. After much squabbling between the four of exactly what made a tree perfect, Jeannie and Andrew spied the same perfect tree. With great effort Shane managed to cut it down, load it on the small cart, and Andrew and Kim wheeled it back to the house, while Shane carried Jeannie on his shoulders. That evening they decorated the tree, went to Mass, and hurried home to get the children off to bed so Santa could come.
After the children went up to bed, Shane and Kim got into their pajamas and prepared for the long night in front of them. Kimberly began wrapping presents while Shane began assembling Andrew's bike and Jeannie's doll house. Shane was determined to have both presents sitting under the tree with the rest of the wrapped presents before the children woke. Kimberly finished wrapping and placing presents under the tree and helped Shane finish Jeannie's doll house. The only thing left to do was Andrew's bike. Kim couldn't believe they were going to get everything done in time. Kimberly got out a bottle of champagne and two glasses and poured them a drink while she waited for Shane to finish the bike. Andrew had a bike in LA, but he wanted one at Donovan Manor to ride while he spent summers here with his father. Kim knew how important it was to Andrew to spend time with Shane. She told him how Andrew idolized him, and how excited he was to be here this Christmas.
Several glasses of champagne later, Shane finished his son's bike. Kim placed a big red bow on it and Shane put it next to Jeannie's doll house by the tree. They would be the first presents their children would see in the morning. Kim was so excited, she grabbed Shane around the neck and gave him a hug.
All at once, she felt Shane's arms wrap around her, she smelled his cologne and felt her fingers running through his hair. Shane felt Kim's body pressed up against his, smelled her soft, beautiful hair and felt her warm breathe on his neck. At the same time, they sighed a quiver of a sigh and neither one could move out of the other's arms. Shane's lips found Kim's and there was no turning back. They looked longingly into each other's eyes and their eyes said everything that needed to be said.
Kim walked over and picked up the champagne bottle and glasses and walked over to the door, stopped and looked over her shoulder at Shane and instantly he began to follow. She went up the stairs and instead of going to the end of the hall to the guest room, she turned and went into Shane's bedroom. Shane followed, shut the door and leaned back against it and watched Kim's every move. Kim could be a very playful lover, but it wasn't often she was so forward and bold. She set the champagne and glasses down and with her back to Shane, knowing full well he was watching, she untied her robe and let it fall to the floor. She walked over to the side of the bed, grabbed at her nightgown and pulled it over her head and let it too fall to the floor. As she turned to face Shane, he tried to think of something suave and romantic, but as he crossed the room to Kimberly, the only words he could say was "God your beautiful."
As their lips met, he picked her up and laid her on the bed and they began to make love and make love again. Exhausted and content they fell asleep in each other's arms. Morning came all too quickly and Andrew and Jeannie came running into Shane's room to announce Santa had been there.
A couple of days after Christmas, the night before Kim and the children were to return to LA, Shane and Kim had a late night supper together. Kim thought she had come to her senses and knew she had to end it with Shane. She tried her best to explain. She told him she wasn't ready to trust him completely, that what happened was a mistake and she had to consider the children. It wasn't fair to the children, to risk hurting them if things didn't work out. "I'll always love you Shane, but I'm not willing to go through the pain we always seem to cause each other. My past always seems to get in the way."
"No! Damn it Kimberly, no! Shane began as he grabbed Kim. Yes, I said some horrible things to you when we broke up. But it was said in anger, I wanted to hurt you as much as you were hurting me! You were my wife, Kimberly, the mother of my children! Do you honestly think that if I ever thought of you, even for one minute, one second, as a whore I would have made a life with you? I love you Kim, I've never stopped loving you."
As the tears streamed down Kim's face, she looked away and told Shane, "No, I can't. I won't risk it ever again." She turned and ran upstairs to the guest room.
Within a couple of months after returning to LA, Phillip and Kim were married.
Kimberly couldn't believe what a mistake she made that night. But, it was made, and she learned to live with her choice of Phillip over Shane. "Oh, Kimber you got to stop daydreaming like this" Kim thought to herself. She shook her head, grabbed a towel and began to dry off.
It was almost noon by the time Kim had finished dressing and was ready to take the first step to change her life. She went down the hall and looked in Phillip's room. Still, no Phillip. She dialed her lawyer on her cell and made an appointment to meet him. As she drove over to her lawyer's office, she gained more confidence that she was doing the right thing and more determination to see this thing through. The meeting was very short, she didn't want or need anything from Phillip in the divorce settlement. She just wanted it over as quick as possible. On her way home, Kim tried to call Phillip at work, but he wasn't there. In fact, his secretary told Kim that Phillip had been fired in December and she hadn't seen him since. Kim knew she had better call the bank and check their accounts.
As Kim came through the front door, Phillip was standing at the bar with a drink in his hand. It looked as though he had been drinking for quite awhile. Kim took a deep breath and prepared herself for another one of their arguments.
"So, Phillip began, where have you been?"
"Where have I been? You haven't been home since before I left for my father's funeral. I think the better question is where have you been?" Kimberly snapped back at him.
"Don't talk to me like that Kimberly. I asked you a question and I want an answer!" Phillip demanded.
"Okay Phillip, you want to know where I've been? I've been to see my lawyer, I know all the money is gone, I want a divorce" Kimberly started to say.
Phillip grabbed her arm, looked her in the eye and said, "A divorce? You're not divorcing me, not now. You walk when I say you can walk."
Kimberly said through gritted teeth, "You're hurting me Phillip."
