"You think we might have taken it to far?" Nora asked between gasps for air.
The rec room looked like a small war zone. Furniture was overturned, snacks were everywhere, there were scorch marks on the walls, and most of the teens had collapsed, exhausted. Incredibly, the main table, and thus the game of Cards Against Remnant, was untouched. On the bright side Yang was still in her cheerleader outfit, now slightly torn up to provide even more fanservice.
"Yes. Yes you did." Blake said as she walked back into the room. She had left soon after she had asked what Nora and Jaune had been arguing about. It had quickly become apparent that the two sides had been more interesting in fighting each other than listening to what the only actual faunus in the room had to say. So Blake had decided to go for a walk instead of dealing with their idiocy.
Nora leaped from where she had been laying on the floor, drawing envious stares from those not possessing infinite energy. "Hey, how about we just ask Blake about whether faunus being racist to other faunus is racist or not?"
Blake took a moment to fight the urge to faceplam. "Hey, how about instead of listening to me give a long, boring lecture on a complex sociopolitical issue we instead play a stupid card game about being as offensive as possible?"
Nora jumped into her beanbag chair. "Okay! That sounds fun!" she said, ignoring the semi-sweet sarcasm in Blake's voice. Blake gave into temptation and smacked herself in the face.
"You should know that she's immune to sarcasm by now." Ren said as he sat down. By this point the rest of the group had recovered from their impromptu war and were taking their seats.
Blake sighed. "Just start the game."
Soon everyone was seated and making sure that they had the right cards. With that done Yang drew the first black card of the round. "Oh, look." she said with a grin. "You guys remember 'special musical guest, Weiss'? Well this card's about our other local celebrity." Pyrrha was surprised and little touched that it took her friends a minute to realize Yang was talking about her. "Alright guys. Here's you question. What does Pyrrha Nikos eat for dinner? Impress me."
Pyrrha looked at her cards and turned white. "Do I have to play this round?"
"Uh, yeah." Yang answered.
"Crap." Pyrrha muttered under her breath. Still she passed a card over anyway.
"Okay. Let's see here. What does Pyrrha eat for dinner? The answer is…" Yang paused for a moment, just to mess with Pyrrha "Poor people!" Pyrrha groaned and covered her face in her hands.
"I don't know." Ren said. "That sounds like something Weiss would eat, not Pyrrha."
"Hey!"
"Of course Weiss wouldn't eat Poor people, Ren." Blake said. "She only eats upper-middle class or richer. Only the best for the princess."
"HEY!"
"That's enough. We're supposed to making fun of Pyrrha this round, not Weiss." For the first time since she met her Weiss felt grateful for Yang's presence. "There'll be plenty of time for that later." It didn't last long though.
"Just read the next card." Weiss groaned.
"Ok. The next card is Mistralians. Sensing a theme here." Yang said.
"Is it wrong that I'm being portrayed as a cannibal and I'm fine with that?" Pyrrha asked, pulling her head from her hands. "I mean I'm not ecstatic but it's a lot less embarrassing then what I thought was coming."
Weiss stared at Pyrrha, but then nodded. "It's official. We've been playing this game for too long."
Yang frowned at the heiress. "We're not stopping, if that's what you're hoping for."
"Wouldn't dream of it." Weiss gave Yang a dismissive wave. "Now read the next card."
"All right, fine. Stop bossing me around." Yang looked at the white card and gasped. "Soup that is too hot. Pyrrha that's not true is it?" Yang pretended to be shocked.
"It's true. I refuse to hide it any longer. I refuse to be judged." Pyrrha replied. The two stared at each other for a minute and then broke down giggling.
"Heh, that was actually pretty funny. Let's see if the next card can beat it." Yang flipped over a white card. "Tongue." Everyone just stared at the card.
"Is that all?" Ruby asked. "Just 'tongue'?"
"Yep."
"Weird."
Yang shrugged. "I know. Next card! Customer service representatives. Aaaaand we're back to cannibalism."
"Yay." Pyrrha said with no emotion.
"Hey, like you said it's better then the alternative." Ren pointed out.
Pyrrha glared at Ren. "Yaaaaaaay."
"A stray pube." Yang said suddenly. Everyone stared at her. "What? It's the next card. What does Pyrrha eat for dinner? A stray pube."
Pyrrha, Weiss, Blake, and Jaune all turned green. Blake pointed out the obvious. "That's disgusting."
"It's still not as bad as the next one." Yang held a card in front of her, trying not to laugh.
"Oh really." Weiss was skeptical. "What's it say?"
Yang cleared her throat. "What does Pyrrha Nikos eat for dinner? She eats elf cum." Yang and Nora started to laugh, Blake and Ren snickered, and Ruby, and Jaune looked sympathetic.
"Well Pyrrha, it took a while but eventually your expectations were met." Yang said with evil glee. Pyrrha just groaned. "In fact, I'd say this is the winner." Pyrrha slammed her head onto the table. "So, whose card is this?" Without lifting her head from the table, Pyrrha slowly raised her hand into the air.
"WHAT!" Everyone else dropped their jaws.
"Uuuuu… B…but… you…a…and the thing…and whaaaa?" Jaune sputtered.
"I know." Pyrrha moaned.
"Seriously? You worry about how everyone else is going to embarrass you and then you play that?" Weiss muttered.
"I know." Pyrrha said, frustration leaking into her voice.
Ren counted the black cards. "Well at least so good came from this. You're now tied for first with Jaune."
"I Know! Wait, seriously?" Pyrrha finally pulled herself up from the table and counted her cards. "Huh. Well how about that?"
"I still can't believe that Jaune's winning." Yang whined.
"Well now's your chance to do something about it." Weiss said, picking up a black card. "I can drive and blank at the same time."
"Hey, you right princess!" Yang said with false cheer. "I could do something. If I had the right cards!"
"No need to get angry with me about that." Weiss said, ignoring Yang's growing frustration.
Ren spoke up. "Yang might be right though. There don't seem to be a lot of white cards with verbs on them."
Weiss sighed. "Fine. Play whatever and I'll try to make a proper sentence out of it." With that everyone took a second look at their cards and found some new ideas. Soon everyone had passed a card to the heiress, except for Jaune who was stuck deciding between to cards.
Ruby decided to make conversation in the meantime. "Sooooooo, Weiss. Can you actually drive?"
"Of course I can. What, you think I get chauffeured everywhere?" Weiss answered with annoyance.
"No, of course not. It's not that." Ruby backtracked quickly. "I was just wondering. I want to learn how to drive myself, but dad won't let Yang teach me."
Weiss nodded. "Good. I've seen how Yang drives."
"Hey!"
"Besides, I usually do get chauffeured everywhere." Weiss admitted. At that point, Jaune shouted and slammed down one of his cards. "Well it's about time. What took so long?"
Jaune scratched the back of his head. "Well, I had to chose between the one that was funny, or the one that would win. I chose the funny one."
"Yah hear that Yang? Our leader's so confident, he's throwing points away." Nora needled the brawler. Yang's teeth could be heard grinding together.
"I'm not, really!" The blonde knight spoke with fear in his voice. "I just, I figure we're here to have a good time, not make a big deal out of this." Jaune desperately tried to calm down the enraged brawler.
Ruby rubbed her sister's arm. "He's right you know. There's no need to be so competitive Yang. It's just a stupid game." With that Yang finally calmed down.
"Speaking of which, perhaps we should actually play said stupid game." Weiss said. When she had everybody's attention she read the first card, or at least try to. "Seriously? When I said I would try to make workable sentence out of your cards, you didn't need to take it as a challenge."
"Oh, What's it say? What's it say?" Nora asked.
Weiss flipped the card onto the table. "The tempur-pedic Valish sleep system."
"Sorry. I needed to get rid of that." Ren explained.
"Did anybody else play something that makes absolutely no sense?" Weiss glared around the table. "No? Good. Next card. I can drive and always be textin' at the same time."
Blake raised an eyebrow. "Textin'? Really?"
Weiss cheeks turned red. "That's how it's written! Anyway, next card. I can drive and do a drive-by shooting at the same time."
"Well, duh. It's kinda required." Nora giggled.
"Agreed, that seems rather redundant. But at least it makes sense. Next card." Weiss read the next card and groaned. "I can drive and spend lot's of money at the same time."
Everyone laughed. "Told you I went with funny." Jaune smirked.
Weiss glared at him. "Just so you know, you are not winning this round." Jaune just shrugged. "Anyway, next card. I can drive and defenestrate at the same time."
Nora looked confused. "What does defenestrate mean?"
"It means 'to throw someone or something out a window." Pyrrha explained.
Ruby and Nora looked at Weiss with hero worship in their eyes. "Awesome." They squeed together.
Weiss, surprisingly, looked embarrassed by the attention. "Girls, it's just a game. I've never actually thrown someone out a window while driving."
"You probably could. It's not that hard." Pyrrha added. Ruby and Nora looked at Pyrrha and squeed even harder. Jaune just looked depressed.
Weiss coughed. "Anyway, next card. I can drive and fuck up my lines in front of 300 parents at the same time. Can anyone explain to me what that means?"
"I think it means in a school play. You know, like in elementary school." Everyone stared at Jaune. "What? Don't tell me I'm the only one who went to public school."
"Yeah." Blake said.
"Pretty much." Weiss agreed.
"Yang and I have been going to combat schools since we were kids." Ruby added. Jaune sighed.
Weiss shook her head. "Anyway, here's the final card. I can drive and do nunchuck moves at the same time."
"Oh hey Sun. When'd you get here?" Ren deadpanned. Nora, Yang, Ruby, and Jaune all giggled.
Weiss sighed. "Anyway, I guess I have to decide a winner." Weiss looked over her choices. "Who had defenestration? That sounds like something I might actually have to do someday." Pyrrha raised her hand and Weiss handed over the black card.
Jaune turned to Yang. "Happy now? I'm not winning anymore."
"Yeah but neither am I." Yang replied, but there was no real anger in her voice.
"My Turn!" Ruby cried out in a singsong voice. She picked up a black card and looked at it with confusion. "Ok, this is worded a little weirdly but I think I understand. It says 'where or how I met my last significant other: Blank.' Did everybody get that?"
"Yeah, I think we got it." Jaune said.
Nora grinned. "This is gonna be fun."
Yang, surprisingly, did not share Nora's enthusiasm. "Watch what you play. I don't want you guys making my little sister look like a pervert."
"Of course not." Blake said sarcastically. "That's what she has you for."
Yang spun around to face her partner. "Excuse me? That's rich coming from little Miss Tentacle Porn."
Blake's face turned red. "I keep telling you, it was the cards. And besides, Ruby doesn't our help making her look like a pervert; she's got that down just fine. Remember the necrophilia card back in the first round."
At this point Weiss had had enough. "You're all perverts! Can we play the game now?"
"Sure thing Weiss!" Ruby said cheerfully. The argument didn't seem to have fazed her at all. "First card. According to one of you I met my last significant other in the North. "
"What's the joke, that you where dating a redneck? Lame." Nora voiced her disapproval.
"Let's try again shall we." Ruby flipped over a card and blinked. "Oooookay. Not sure if I should feel complimented or creeped out. Apparently the reason I met my last significant other was hot jail bait ass."
Nora and Blake broke into laughter. Jaune suddenly looked very nervous. Yang looked like she was going to break something.
"Yours or theirs?" Ren asked. Yang glared at Ren and her eyes flashed red. "I'm going to shut up now."
"Yang, please don't murder our friends. We'll get kicked out of the school." Ruby warned her sister. She looked at the next white card and back to Yang. "Before I read this card, Yang, I want you to repeat after me: It's only a game. "
"It's only a game." Yang repeated.
"It's all in good fun."
"It's all in good fun."
"And nobody here is going to get hurt or offended by any of the cards. Well except for those cards that where racist against faunus. We really shouldn't have played those."
"And nobody here is going to get hurt or offended by any of the cards. Well except for those cards that where racist against faunus. We really shouldn't have played those."
"You didn't need to repeat that last part."
"You didn't need to repeat that last part."
"Yaaaaang!"
"Ruuuuby!"
The two sisters stared at each other with angry eyes for a second before collapsing into each other's arms laughing.
"Thanks Rubes. I needed that." Yang said, wiping happy tears from her eyes.
Ruby smiled. "Glad you're feeling better. Because the reason I met my last significant other was full frontal nudity."
Yang stiffened suddenly. Then she calmly walked out of the room, gently closed the door behind her and screamed into the wall for a minute straight. After that, she walked back in and sat down while straightening her hair, which had gotten slightly out of line while she was freaking out.
Blake was the first to speak. "Uh, are you okay?"
"Oh, yes." Yang sounded serene. "Never felt better. That was cathartic."
Weiss raised an eyebrow. "How do you know what cathartic means?"
"It was covered in the anger management lessons I took as a child." Yang answered.
Weiss blinked. "I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am."
Ruby picked up the next white card and giggled. "This one's actually pretty good. The reason I met my last significant other was poor life choices."
"Ya damn straight it was a poor choice." Yang yelled.
"You really don't want your sister dating, do you?" Jaune asked.
"Nope." Yang's reply was falsely sweet. "You don't have a problem with that, do you?"
"Nope." Jaune tried to sound nonchalant, but the effect was ruined due to the fact that his voice was an octave higher then usual.
"Yang, stop it." Ruby chastised her sister.
"But he looks so cute when he's scared."
Ruby wasn't sure how to respond to that so just ignored it. "The next reason I met my last significant other was mechanically engineered super-soldiers." Down in Vale, in a hotel somewhere, Penny sneezed, which surprised her considering she didn't even know she could do that.
Back at Beacon Pyrrha had a question for the red reaper. "Ruby, why do you keep saying 'significant other'? Wouldn't it be less of a mouthful just to say 'boyfriend'?"
Ruby just grinned mysteriously and picked up the next card. "The economy was where I met my last significant other." She put extra emphasis on the last two words, which added to the confusion of her friends and worried her sister slightly.
Then Nora realized what Ruby had actually said "Wait, what? You met you last at the economy?"
Ruby shrugged. "Yeah, I don't know either. Last card: The Mistralian gymnastics team was where I met my last significant other."
"Oooooh, Flexible." Nora smiled like a cat.
Weiss looked concerned. "Isn't the Mistralian gymnastics team made-up entirely of under aged girls?"
"Yep." Ruby said cheerfully. "I think I'm gonna go with poor life choices though. Who had played that?"
"You guys seriously need to stop picking my cards." Jaune said as he took the black card from Ruby. Yang groaned.
After everyone had refilled their hands Ren picked up the next black card and read it out for the group. "Lovin' you is easy cause you're blank."
Nora poked her friend in side. "C'mon Renny. You gotta out at least some emotion into it."
"No thanks."
Weiss looked at her cards and sighed. "Now I know how Yang's been feeling. None of my cards are any good."
"Welcome to the club!" Yang leaped up and hugged the heiress.
"Thanks, I guess." Weiss said, surprised by the sudden contact. A few seconds passed and the boisterous bruiser still hadn't let go. "Would you get off!"
"Fine, but just so you know I'm gonna be hugging you more from now on. You're surprisingly soft." Yang sat back down, leaving Weiss blushing.
"Get a room you two." Blake snarked at them. Weiss blushed even harder while Yang just laughed.
"But give me you cards first." Ren said. Both girls quickly added their cards to the pile. With every card played Ren flipped over the first card. "Loving you is easy because you're a sweaty, panting leather daddy. No. Just no." Yang, Nora and Blake snickered.
Ren flipped over the next card. "Let's try again, shall we? Loving you is easy cause you're a bag of magic beans." Nora and Jaune giggled a little. "Cause you're my testicles." The whole group doubled over with laughter. "Cause you're pumping out a baby every nine months."
The laughter stopped and Yang voiced what they where all thinking. "What the fuck?"
"You think that one's weird? It's nothing compared to the next one." Ren stated.
"Is it sexist too? Seriously, who comes up with these card?" Weiss asked.
"Not degrading just very, very weird." Ren answered. "Loving you is easy cause you're vomiting in the shower."
"What the fuck?" Yang repeated but this time she and the others were laughing.
Ren flipped over the second to last card. "Loving you is easy because you're a passionate faunus lover."
Blake looked shocked. "Holy crap, that wasn't racist."
"I thought you might appreciate that." Ren gave the ninja a smile. He then flipped over the final card. "Cause you're a man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings. Why do you people keep trying to make me sound gay?" He asked with annoyance. When nobody answered he sighed and declared the winner "Who had my testicles."
"I did!" Nora cheered and Yang fell over laughing.
"Did you really have to phrase it that way?" Pyrrha asked and Weiss nodded.
Ren gave them a small smirk. "Nope." Then he handed his partner her prize.
After everyone refilled their hands Pyrrha picked up the next black card. "I need you clothes, your bike and blank."
"Well, I'm not winning this one." Jaune said.
"Good." Yang replied.
Soon Pyrrha had a pile of white cards in front of her. She shuffled them and read out the first one. "I need your clothes, your bike and duct tape."
"Meh." Ren said.
"Hey! Don't diss the duct tape!" Ruby said angrily. Weiss rolled her eyes.
Pyrrha read the next card. "I also need…the human body."
"What?" Jaune asked.
"We seriously need better cards." Yang explained.
Pyrrha started to read the cards faster. "I need your clothes, your bike, a squirming mass of kittens, the power of friendship, a cocktail umbrella, a zesty breakfast burrito and that ass." As Pyrrha finished her list most of her friends were howling with laughter. "I think it comes down to a tie between a squirming mass of kittens and that ass."
"Whose ass?" Yang couldn't help but ask.
Pyrrha blushed a little. "You know what? I don't want to know. The kittens win."
Blake took the black card from Pyrrha. "And that leaves Ren as the only one with out any points."
"I'd make a joke about Blake playing the kittens card but I don't want to sound racist." Ren said.
"What you just said is probably more racist then just making the joke." Jaune argued.
"Not this again." Blake moaned.
"Blake's right." Nora said. "Fun as that fight was, and it was supper fun, we should probably finish the game. Speaking of which, I'm Card Czar!" Nora picked up the next black card. "Blank, y'know, for kids."
"This is going to be so very bad." Weiss said as she placed her white card.
"Yep." Nora answered happily.
"Why are you happy about this?" Jaune yelled at his teammate.
Nora ignored her leader and read the first answer. "Mistralian schoolgirl porn. Y'know, for kids!" Nora took way to much joy in the looks of disgust her friends gave her.
Ren turned to Pyrrha. "What is wrong with your kingdom?"
"What is wrong with your girlfriend?" Pyrrha answered, pointing to Nora's grinning face.
Ren looked at the table and mumbled his answer. "She's not my girlfriend."
"Yeah, we might have been together a long time, but we're not together-together." Nora added. "Anyway, next card! Consensual tentacle rape. Y'know, for kids!"
Jaune looked like he was going to puke, while Pyrrha and Ruby just looked horrified. "Blake! What the Fuck!" Weiss yelled. Yang started to snicker behind her hands.
"What? I didn't play it!" Blake desperately tried to defend herself.
"Who else would play something that wrong?" Weiss countered.
Blake thought for a moment and noticed Yang trying hold her laughter back. "You!" she said, pointing an accusing finger. "You framed me."
Yang finally broke down and started laughing out loud. "Couldn't help it. Too funny."
Ruby looked at her sister with shame. "Yang, you really went too far this time. I mean tentacle-raping kids? Seriously?"
Yang gave her little sister a light punch to the shoulder. "Aw, lighten up Rubes. It's just a game. Besides, it was consensual."
"Isn't consensual rape an oxymoron?" Ren mused.
WHAM! Everyone jumped as Nora slammed the table. "Enough arguing. Back to the game." Everyone sheepishly settled down so that Nora could read the next card. "Teen Pregnancy. Y'know, for kids! Wow, that's even worse then the last one." Nora cheerfully reached for the next card, ignoring the stunned silence that filled the room. "Leaking implants. Y'know, for kids."
"I don't get it." Jaune said.
"Y'know, like breast implants? They can leak if they're done wrong." Ruby explained, which surprised the blond knight. "What is wrong with us?" he asked no one in particular.
"Wow, you guys really don't like kids!" Nora chuckled. "Incest. Y'know for kids!"
Jaune gagged and ran from the room to vomit. Both Ruby and Yang looked like they were about to join him. Jaune soon returned looking a lot paler then before.
Ren looked leader worriedly at his leader. "You OK to keep going?" Jaune nodded back.
"I don't think you are." Nora said, grinning. "Cause the next card is poopsicles."
"Wait, what? Are you sure you're reading that right?" Jaune asked disbelievingly.
"Yep. Poopsicles. As in frozen shit on a stick."
"Ewewewewewewew." Ruby voiced her disgust
"Gimme that." Jaune said as he pulled the card from Nora's hands. "You gotta be kidding me. I thought it said popsicles." Nora burst out laughing at her leader's mistake.
"Nora, read the last card." Ren reminded his friend.
"Oh, right." Nora cleared her throat. "And the last card is… Smallpox blankets. Y'know, for kids! Smallpox blankets win! Here's your awesome point, Ren!" Nora handed the black car to the green gunman.
"Wait, how did you know that was Ren's?" Weiss asked.
"It was the only one that had kids dying. I decided that Ren needed the point." Nora explained.
Weiss sputtered. "You can't just let Ren win because he doesn't have a point!"
Nora stuck her tongue out at the heiress. "The Card Czar has spoken."
"But-"
"The Card Czar. Has. Spoken."
Weiss stared at Nora for a few seconds before crossing her arms. "Fine."
"My turn." Jaune said. Once everybody was ready he picked up a black card and read it. "Blank. Betcha can't have just one." The other's giggled. It didn't take long before a pile of white cards had formed in front of the blond boy.
"Okay, let's see here… Girls with glasses. Betcha can't have just one."
"Like, in a sexy way?" Nora asked.
"No, Nora. He clearly means that you can't eat just one." Ren replied sarcastically.
Jaune scooted a few inches a way from the other boy in the room before reading the next card. "Explosions. Betcha can't have just one."
"YES! THAT ONE WINS!" Nora cheered as she leaped out of her chair.
"Nora, you're not the Card Czar. You don't get to pick who wins. " Ren said as he pulled her back into her seat.
"Yeah, at least let him read the other ones first." Yang said. She turned to the other blond only to find him staring at the card in his hand. "Well get to it Vomit-Boy!"
Jaune snapped out of the daze he was in. "Uh, right. A great big floppy donkey dick. Betcha can't have just one."
"What." Weiss said.
"The." Ruby followed.
"Fuck." Blake finished.
"Next. A freshly filled diaper. Betcha can't have just one."
"Gross." Pyrrha said.
"Yeah, you're losing money on that one." Yang added.
"Next. The clitoris. Betcha can't have just one."
"That's just wrong and you know it." Weiss sighed.
Yang shrugged. "Y'know, that one's actually pretty tame compared to the one with the donkey dick."
"Next." Jaune grinned when he read the next card. "Sexy pillow fights. Betcha can't have just one. Aww yeah!"
"We'll be sure to invite you to our next one." Yang said, smirking.
"Yaaaaaaaang." Ruby wined at her sister, Weiss stared at her murderously and Blake slugged her in the shoulder.
"And finally, spectacular abs. Betcha can't have just one."
"It's true, see." Yang stood up and pointed at her abs, which were on prominent display as she was still in her cheerleader's outfit.
Jaune blushed. "Sure. I'm still giving the point to sexy pillow fights through."
"Thank you." Ren said as he plucked the card from Jaune's hand.
After everyone had refilled their hands Blake read the next black card and groaned. "Great. Another opportunity for people to paint me as a pervert. My favorite anime contains blank and blank."
"Nice alliteration." Pyrrha said she put her cards down.
"Thanks." Blake said. As soon as everyone had two cards in front of them she spoke again. "I changed my mind. I'm not reading those. You're reading your own. You can all be perverts for once. And no taking you're cards back."
Jaune stopped picking his cards back up. "But-"
"No buts. Consider this revenge for the last time I was Card Czar." All around the table heads hung in shame. Jaune nodded. "Okay, that makes sense."
"So we're going in Card Czar order, right?" Yang asked. Blake nodded so Yang flipped over her cards. "My favorite anime includes child abuse and indescribable loneliness."
"I wasn't aware they made an anime about my childhood." Weiss said. Everyone stared at her. "What? I'm joking, obviously." Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. "Of course I knew. They pay me royalties." Weiss maintained a stoic face for five seconds before her mask cracked and she started giggling helplessly. "You should see the look on you faces. Now I know way Yang teases people."
"Very funny, Princess. You gonna read your card?" Yang asked.
"Oh, all right. Fine." Weiss ceased in her merriment and flipped over her cards. "My favorite anime includes a lifelike silicone love doll and elderly Mistralian men." Blake and Ren smirked, Nora and Yang laughed out loud and the rest snickered. "Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up."
Blake looked at Weiss curiously. "I would have expected you to be more embarrassed."
"I'm just glad I changed my mind about what I was going to play."
"You were going to play something worse?" Blake said with disbelief.
"You don't want to know." Weiss said. "Anyway it's Ruby's turn."
"Alright. My favorite anime includes moeblob and gothic lolita." Ruby said.
"Wow. That one actually sounds normal." Blake said, surprised.
"And kind of cute." Pyrrha added.
"My turn I guess." Ren showed his cards. "My favorite anime includes sweet, sweet vengeance and being fabulous."
Yang laughed. "That sounds awesome."
Nora nodded. "I actually know what anime he's talking about. It's super awesome."
"Wait, that's real thing? You have got to show me this." Yang said.
Ignoring Yang and Nora as they talked, Blake pointed at Pyrrha. "You're turn."
Pyrrha blushed. "I really don't want to say."
"Oh come on, Pyrrha. It can't be worse then mine." Jaune encouraged his partner.
Pyrrha sighed. "Fine. My favorite anime includes pulling down panties with your teeth and laying an egg."
Blake snickered. "And you guys think I'm weird."
"She's from Mistral. What's your excuse?" Weiss asked.
"Hey." Blake and Pyrrha exclaimed at the same time.
"Oh, oh, oh. Is it my turn?" Nora asked excitedly.
Blake rolled her eyes. "Yes Nora."
Nora flipped over her card proudly. "My favorite anime includes subduing and ursa and making her your wife and firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing boarbatusk. "
Yang fell over laughing. "W…What?"
"Is any one else not surprised that Nora was the one who got both those cards." Blake asked.
"Nope." Ren answered.
"Anyway, time to end this round." Blake said. "Jaune, tell us about your favorite anime."
Jaune turned red but took a deep breath and read out his cards anyway. "My favorite anime includes uppercuts and dick fingers."
"Ew. Jaune, that's disgusting." Ruby sputtered.
"Sorry." Jaune scratched the back of his head.
"So, who wins?" Ren asked Blake.
"You do." Blake handed the black card over. "Three wins in a row. Congratulations. Now, then, Nora?"
"Yes?"
"Show us the anime Ren was talking about."
Hey guys, what's up?
First I would like to apologize for the long delay for this chapter. I was in the middle of working on it when Monty Oum passed away. As you can guess I didn't really want to work on this after that happened. It just seemed disrespectful. He built this incredible, awesome world filled with great characters and here I am making jokes about tentacle rape. But after some time passed I realized that we could probably all use a good laugh.
There are a few things I'd like to clarify. During Ruby's turn as Card Czar someone play the card 'The North" and Nora asked about rednecks. For the purpose of this fic the North means the same thing as the South in the real world. Remember Atlas is now stereotypical America and it's to farthest north of the four kingdoms.
Next if you're wondering what Weiss was going to play for Blake's favorite anime the combination was "the White Fang" and "Waterboarding". Yeah, I figured that was going a little bit to far, even for me.
And lastly, before we move on to the scoreboard and review responses, the anime Ren was talking about is Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. It is very, very fabulous.
Scoreboard time!
Ruby: 2
Weiss: 3
Blake: 1
Yang: 2
Jaune: 5
Nora: 2
Pyrrha: 5
Ren: 3
And now for Review Responses:
Undeadhero143: Yes, very bad Nora.
LoveGlutton: I'll do the song lyrics idea next chapter. I'm glad I could make you shipping dreams come true.
FlameEmperor: Yeah, I know what you where trying to say. Thanks for the complements.
dfinkel70: Well Blake's is on the scoreboard now. Barely.
GreatZero: Happy I could be of service. As for the one-shots idea, I probably won't write them, but I might. But hey, if you want to write some go right ahead. Just be sure to tell me so I can read them.
TehUnoman: Done and Done.
CrimsonHeresy: Thanks mate.
titansFire: Uhhhh… Thanks? Yeah you where rambling pretty hard there.
LuckyBullet: Frankly I'm torn between sticking with just the cannon parings and shipteasing everybody. I think it's funny. As for Nora joking about Blake and Sun, just because Blake ignores Sun's affections doesn't mean that everyone else hasn't noticed. Also, I actually don't come up with the cards. I just adapt them to fit into the world of RWBY. I am a mad man though.
BANKAIZEN: A man of few words. I like it.
Autistic-Grizzly: Done and Done. Also cuddly Ruby is best Ruby.
Tomas44: Thanks for the praise. I love "Clothes, Please?" so that means a lot.
FluffyDestroyerOfPlanets: Done and Done.
Novice: Glade you're getting a laugh.
Warmach1ne32: Well you're enthusiastic. Thanks for the praise. I already knew about DeathBattle. It's one of my favorite web shows.
And that's it for now! If you'll excuse me I'm gonna go do…. Something. Maybe? I don't know.
Reviews are nice.
-Rex Heller.
