The boys finally have their talk to clear the air; will it result in some long-awaited passion as well?


"Wow, they even gift wrapped it for free," Justin commented a few minutes later as they exited the hardware store; he was munching on a homemade snicker doodle in one hand and sipping some hot cider with the other.

Brian shifted the weight of the package in his arms, finding it surprisingly heavy for a child's toy. By the time they emerged, it was now well past dark and almost time for the parade to begin; the street, however, was anything but subdued and deserted. With all the Christmas lights and decorations, it came close to rivaling the best display at Disneyworld, and a crowd was quickly forming, buzzing in anticipation.

Brian glanced over at his husband, whose eyes were a rainbow of incredible colors as the lights reflected off them, and his cheeks had a healthy, pink tint from the cold, dramatically contrasting with his shiny hair. He stared at him in amazement, awed by his beauty as he always was. But tonight it was absolutely breathtaking.

Justin caught the intense look he was receiving, and couldn't help nervously smiling back a little as the sounds of horses' hooves got louder and louder, and the throng of people began to murmur as the first entry in the parade neared. "What?" he asked, perplexed.

Brian shook his head slightly in dismissal. "Nothing." Justin raised an eyebrow skeptically, however, broadcasting that he clearly didn't buy that as Brian finally admitted truthfully, "I was just thinking how...how beautiful you look right now with the snow and all the lights around you." Shit, had he really just said that rubbish aloud? But it was the truth nonetheless.

Justin's face flushed with pleasure as he flashed him a 100-watt smile in response, and Brian decided he didn't CARE if it sounded totally lesbionic in nature if he could receive that sort of reward in return; it had been a long while since he had seen an all-out, Justin Taylor-Kinney smile, and he had missed it tremendously. "Brian..." Justin murmured in surprised embarrassment, but he was obviously pleased just the same.

Just then the sound of dozens of tiny bells tinkling and the excited shrieks of children could be heard as they looked up to see a team of horses arriving, pulling a float with a North Pole on top; fake, cotton snow was effectively mixed in with the real kind now due to the snowfall, making it even more realistic looking as several adult and child elves, dressed in green and red outfits, walked along both sides of the street near the sidewalks with large, red buckets, distributing candy canes to all the children.

After the initial float, there were several more, either pulled by horses or by tractor, along with a couple of marching bands and some school choirs singing, until at last Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus herself appeared on the last float, complete with a couple of authentic reindeer in a makeshift corral to the side of the platform. One of them had obviously had a lit-up, red nose attached over its real nose and it was hokey as could be, but none of the children seemed to mind or notice as their eyes lit up in fascination while they pointed excitedly at 'Rudolph,' the celebrity.

"Brian! Take a look at Mrs. Claus!" Justin instructed him with a smile. "Does she look familiar?" Sure enough, it was Lenora from the diner, dressed up in a velvet, red-and-white outfit and matching cap, proudly perched besides her husband; her purple-white hair was a perfect complement to her dress, and she was ideal in the part as if she had been performing her role for years. Perhaps she had. She recognized her temporary boarders down below as she looked over at the crowd and flashed them a smile and a wave, calling out a robust, "Merry Christmas!" before the float slowly headed on down the street.


Thirty minutes later, Brian toted the train set up the steps to the apartment, not quite trusting to leave his precious, rare cargo in the trunk of the SUV until morning.

He placed the large, rectangular-sized gift down onto the Formica kitchen dinette as Justin sunk down onto the couch, pulling off his wet boots and coat while Brian walked over to stoke the smoldering fire and put a couple more logs on top.

"Want some wine?" Justin asked as Brian nodded. He brought a glass over to his husband as he finished building up the fire. "That feels good," Justin murmured gratefully as he felt the warmth from the flames on his face. "I love a fire on a winter night."

"I know," Brian told him with a smile. "You about roast me in bed sometimes, you know. Why do you think I sleep without any cover on half the time?"

Justin smirked. "I thought it was because you were just showing off your body," he remarked innocently.

"Really?" Brian placed his glass down on top of the fireplace mantel before he slid his arms around his husband's slender waist to pull them chest to chest, curling his lips under. "So you think I'm still hot, do you?"

Justin slid his free hand up Brian's chest to rest on top of his shoulder. "You really have to ask that?" he murmured, loving the feel of Brian's body against his. "You'll always been the most gorgeous man I've ever met. I felt that way the first day I met you - and I still feel that way."

Brian smiled lovingly down at him and leaned in with the intention of stealing a kiss, but Justin pushed back just slightly enough to stop him. He eyed him in puzzlement. "What?"

Justin stared up at him quietly, a look of sorrow in his eyes. "Brian?"

"Hmmm?"

"What's been happening to us?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. What's happened to how it was before? I mean, I know it's been hard with Shay around and all, but..." His voice trailed off.

"What?" Brian insisted as he slid one arm back around to tilt Justin's chin up so he could stare into his troubled eyes. "Say it, Justin."

"You're not sorry, are you?" was the startling question after a short pause.

"Sorry? About what?"

Justin took a deep breath. "Are you sorry we decided to have Shay? Do you regret that decision now?" There, it was out in the open at least. "Do you feel trapped because of him?"

Brian's eyes flashed in disbelief, and his hand tightened imperceptibly on Justin's chin before he dropped it to hang down by his side. "Shit, Justin, of course not! It was a mutual decision, and I love Shay! How can you even ask that? WHY would you ask that?"

Justin bit his lip. "Well...Because ever since he was born and we brought him home, it's like you've been a different person. I know he's really cut into our time together. But even now - even on this trip when we could finally be alone - you've seemed so distant. You left the other night at the hotel, and didn't come back for a long time. And...And when you did, we...we didn't even..." He sucked in a breath of resolve before rushing back in. "Exactly where did you go, Brian? To call someone? To fuck someone else?" His throat felt like a knife was stuck in it as he garnered up enough courage to ask, "Are...are you seeing someone else back home? Is that it? Have you lost interest in me?" His eyes teared over as he asked in a hoarse whisper, "Are you not attracted to me anymore?"

Brian looked at him as if he had lost his mind. "Justin..." He shook his head in bewilderment before he grabbed his husband's hand. "Come over here and sit down with me; we're going to have a talk; a long talk."

Justin followed him over to the couch and sat down facing him, their knees slightly touching as Brian stared at him in total disbelief. "Justin..." he began, not even sure where to start. The whole idea was so patently absurd. "First of all, NO! The answer's a big, fat, fucking, NO! To both questions." He brushed his hand through his hair restlessly. "I know things have been strained between us since Shay's birth," he admitted. "That shouldn't be all that surprising, though; we both knew taking care of a newborn would be hard work, and that little dynamo is a lot of work." He received a half-smile in response to that statement as he explained, "And the other night at the hotel? I had just been turned down by a client I had been pursuing for years. Do you know what that did to my fucking ego? So wise or not, all I wanted to do then was go down to the bar and get wasted and forget about it for a while; drown in my pity, if you will," he added wryly. "And that was ALL I did," he clarified as he looked Justin in the eyes. "All I would ever do."

He paused, the fire now burning fiercely nearby. "Add to that the fact that I'm not going to spend Christmas now with Gus, and...I guess it just all culminated into one, giant disappointment. I know you've been through a lot lately, too...And I guess I didn't want to burden you with more issues. I know you've been handling a lot more of the responsibilities with our son than I have." He reached over to grip Justin's hands in his then, his voice softening with emotion as he spoke again. "But let me make one thing clear to you, Justin Taylor-Kinney; you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You, Gus and Shay. You're my family. If I didn't have that...well, I really would go fucking insane sometimes when things like this do happen. I couldn't imagine my life without all of you in it. Do you understand that?" He let go of Justin's right hand to gently brush some wetness away from the glistening, blue eyes. "I love you, you crazy, amazing man; more and more every day. You do know that, right?"

Justin nodded, too choked up at the moment to say the words aloud. But there really was no need as Brian pulled him into his arms and they held each other tight. Only their soft pants of breath - along with an occasional sniffle from Justin or a pop and crack from the fire - broke the stillness until they began to hear singing outside; traveling carolers on the sidewalk, stopping periodically as they sang out a Christmas song. Even through the closed windows, they could both hear the melodic strains of the carolers singing, "I'll be Home for Christmas."

They both began to laugh as they recognized the irony, pulling back to look into each other's eyes and grin. "Maybe that's a sign," Brian told him encouragingly.

Justin smiled. "I hope so." His smile faded a little as he added softly, "But even if we don't get home in time, I know everything will be okay now." Brian smiled tenderly at him as he explained, "I know I haven't wanted to use a nanny for Shay. But...maybe if we can screen them carefully and find the right person..."

Brian smiled warmly at him in understanding and nodded. "I've missed you, Sunshine." He shook his head in amusement as the waterworks threatened to erupt again before the two of them met for a tender kiss, one that quickly deepened into a more passionate one. It was several minutes before they finally broke apart, Brian's hands cupping his husband's face as he told him, "You look so amazing in firelight."

Justin's eyes widened and he smiled a brilliant smile back at him. "So do you," he whispered, the flames dancing across Brian's hazel eyes and turning them into a kaleidoscope of color; his husband's bronze skin seemed to glow under the firelight, and there were gleams of gold in his hair. God, he was so lucky to have this man's devotion! He reached up to trail his fingers lightly across the strong jaw before he implored, "Brian...Make love to me."

Brian nodded with a gentle smile of his own as he reached over to pull Justin's sweater off, taking a moment to caress the smooth, silky skin of his shoulders and chest as Justin trembled in anticipation. Clothes were then discarded with quick dispatch in record time, the fire serving to keep their bodies warm as Brian pushed Justin down gently lengthwise onto the couch; their desire for each other was abundantly clear as he molded their lower bodies together and stared down into his husband's face. The expression there was one he hadn't seen in some time, but he was so thankful to see it back in full force now.

Justin reached up to caress Brian's jaw with his fingers before they moved down to his shoulder blade; the barest of fingertips slowly skimmed over his husband's muscular, flat chest before a couple of fingers lingered over a dusky-colored, pebbled nipple; Brian's breath quickened at the familiar touch as Justin's fingers swirled over the raised surface a couple of times before, unable to stand it any longer, Brian swooped down for another taste of the lips he craved, the taste he would always crave.

Legs tangling, their hands roamed over smooth, warm skin everywhere, reacquainting and remapping angular curves and masculine lines. It was several minutes - occasionally punctuated by sighs and moans - before Brian finally pulled back to stare into the ravaged, swollen lips of the man he loved, knowing instinctively what each wanted, what each needed. Leaning down, he somehow managed to snag his pants lying on the floor to reach inside a pocket and retrieve the needed items: a small packet of lube and a condom. Rising up onto his haunches, he was about to tear open the condom to put it on when Justin's hand reached out to grab his wrist firmly as he shook his head.

"Justin..." They had discussed this before at length, but for whatever reason they had never quite made that final step. Tonight, though, somehow it felt right; it felt necessary for both of them. "Are you sure?"

Justin smiled softly at him and nodded. "Please..." he pleaded. He felt this was the one way he could prove to Brian that he trusted him, that he loved and wanted to be with only him. Would Brian agree, however?

Their eyes locked on each other for a few moments before Brian silently dropped the packet onto the floor. His eyes never leaving his husband's, he tore off the top of the lube packet and squirted some onto his fingers, reaching down between their bodies to rub it onto his cock; Justin hissed slightly as he applied the cold lotion to his puckered hole before pushing one finger inside. Another one soon followed, with Justin jumping slightly underneath him as he crooked them and hit that spot...that wondrous spot that made his husband squirm and moan in anticipation. Justin always had been so responsive, so sensitive to his every touch, and it turned him on immensely.

Justin writhed in exquisite torment as Brian's fingers worked their magic; it had been way too long, and that - along with the thought of soon feeling Brian's cock inside him - skin on delicious skin - only served to heighten his desire to unbearable levels. "Please...now...I need you inside me..."

Brian nodded as he slowly removed his fingers; his heart was pounding at the thought of replacing his achingly hard cock where his fingers had just been. Even now, Justin was always so tight, so incredibly tight and warm, and just the idea of finally experiencing that without any barriers was almost too much to comprehend. His heart began to pound as he reached down to help Justin raise his legs over his shoulders before, holding the base of his cock with one hand, he lined himself up with the pulsating, inviting hole and slowly pushed in, not even realizing he was holding his breath as he did so.

Justin held on tightly to Brian's biceps as he felt the first, initial penetration. He closed his eyes, wanting to savor every single moment of finally feeling Brian inside him, bare and oh so hot as he stretched him to capacity. He moaned as Brian pushed in a little more then, almost tentatively as if he were afraid it was just a fantasy and not a reality. But both knew it was quite real; it was apparent in how wondrous, how incredibly alive it felt.

Brian could feel every pulse, every throb of his cock as he slid deeper inside. He could feel very ridge of muscle, every millimeter of flesh as he pushed in deeper and deeper. It was almost indescribable, even more exhilarating than his most vivid wet dream. His cock was surrounded by tightness and heat as he thrust in more, the beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead. Just before he sheathed himself flush against his husband's body, he needed one more thing.

"Justin," he gasped out breathlessly in demand, his head swimming over the sensations pouring through him. "Open your eyes, Sunshine. I have to see those eyes when you come." He knew neither one of them was going to last long; not now, not after this. Holy shit...

Justin's heart almost threatened to burst out of his chest; this feeling, this fullness, was something he could never have imagined. His toes curling with delicious anticipation and his body coiled tighter than a drum with desire, he slowly opened his eyes and blinked up at his lover, Brian's eyes dark like coal with flaming need. He nodded in understanding, too lost in emotion and sensations to be able to speak, as he focused on his husband's face - his glorious, majestic face in the throes of full-fledged desire - desire and love for him. He tightened his grip on Brian's arm as he prepared for the ride of his life.

And Brian certainly didn't disappoint; he gasped as his husband suddenly thrust in as deeply as he could, until his balls were tight against his ass. The heat, the pulsing heat...

"Fuck...Justin..." Brian had to force himself to breathe in and out; this was beyond mind-blowing as he encased himself fully inside his lover. This connection, this bond was so much more than he had ever imagined it would be. He locked eyes on the dark blue ones for a moment - something unspoken passing between them - before he slid partially out and then fluidly thrust back in to the hilt. Both of them moaned at the sensations as they came together for a deep kiss.

"God, I love you," Justin breathed out as Brian rose back up to thrust deeply inside. "Feels sooo good..." He loudly called out Brian's name as his husband began to piston in and out of him in earnest now, occasionally stealing another kiss as their climaxes began to mount, Justin meeting his body thrust for thrust like it was perfectly choreographed. "Br...Brian," he moaned out as he thrashed his head from side to side. "I...I can't...I..." He couldn't even formulate the words properly, but it didn't matter. Brian knew, he already knew what he was trying to say, for he was feeling the same way.

"Justin..." he breathed out his name as if in reverent prayer, feeling his husband's body tensing with barely restrained passion. He reached down to begin stroking his lover's thick cock, feeling it throbbing under his touch as he squeezed and kneaded it. "Sunshine...Come for me. Do it," he breathed out huskily as he kept stroking in time with his thrusts. "That's it," he urged him as he watched Justin's face scrunching up in pent-up desire. "Let go...Fuck, give it to me..."

That was all it took as Justin cried out loudly and his body arched off the couch, his legs tightening, his toes curling under, and his entire body growing rigid just before his come erupted all over them in streams of milky, sticky white. Somehow he managed to meet Brian's thrusts for several more seconds before Brian's body reached its own crescendo of no return and he shot his hot seed into the tight channel, so copiously that some dribbled out of Justin's body. Brian thought the sight of that - and just the idea of it - was so fucking sexy that he wondered if he would ever come down from the emotional high he was feeling as he collapsed onto Justin's smaller frame and just lay there, spent and overcome with exertion.

His face buried in the sweaty crook of Justin's neck, he felt his husband slide his arm around to slowly stroke his back and buttocks continuously up and down in a lazy sort of motion as they just lay together, twin hearts beating erratically as they tried to regain some semblance of normal breathing.

Finally, Brian raised his head to stare into his husband's glorious-looking face; his eyes were sparkling a deep blue from the results of their lovemaking, his lips were thoroughly plundered, and his hair was plastered to his face, but he thought he looked absolutely magnificent. "That...that was fucking amazing," he murmured breathlessly at last as Justin smiled up at him lazily and nodded, his hands still slowly stroking Brian's back, arms, and shoulders, his fingers causing his husband to shiver despite the warmth being generated by the crackling fire. "Holy shit...if I had known...if I had had any fucking idea..." He shook his head in amazement. "Fuck, we should have been doing that a long time ago."

But both of them knew for some reason they hadn't been ready...until now. Some sea change - some imperceptible shift - had occurred, and they both knew there was no going back now, nor would they want to.

Brian stayed inside Justin's body for a while, knowing how much he adored the feeling and realizing there was no need now to withdraw, until finally with great reluctance he pulled away. Hearing Justin whimper slightly in disappointment, he kissed the tip of his nose playfully before whispering, "Be right back."

A short time later, having rudimentarily cleaned himself off, he returned with a warm, wet washcloth and a couple of towels, taking just a moment to use the fireplace poker to stir up the fire and put a couple of logs on the top to ensure it was roaring back to life, before he walked back over to his husband and, sitting on the edge of the couch, proceeded to tenderly clean his body off.

Throwing the washcloth and towels down onto the floor beside the couch, he asked softly, "You want to go to the bedroom?" Receiving a sleepy shake of Justin's head, he smiled, grateful the couch was nice and wide, before he reached for the crochet over the back of the couch and snuggled in with Justin face to face onto their sides, pulling the cover over their entwined bodies. Soon, the two of them were fast asleep, their arms around each other, lulled into slumber by the aftermath of their lovemaking as well as the crackling from the fire nearby.


A/N: Hope you're still out there reading (?). Thank you to those who are, and especially those who are taking the time to comment; it IS very motivating to me.