Hello again. This may be one of my favourites from the whole fic to be honest, because there's a lot of raw emotion playing out in it. It's a bit steamy too. Either way, I hope you like this. :)
Big, enormous thanks to these people:-
Favourite Story: Vuor and fiorellaweasley
Story Alert: .1602, Haunted Slytherin Princess, fiorellaweasley and ginnypotterrox545
Enjoy, beauties :)
It was four days after I changed my mind about having a relationship with her that I finally plucked up the courage to kiss her at the corner of her mouth. She looked like she was going to smack me in the gob when I pulled away and I cowered under her gaze, before I then laughed at myself. Some Gryffindor I turned out to be.
"What?" I asked her.
"You go through all the trouble of changing your mind, and reminding me for Merlin knows how many times about all of the risks we face as a couple, and then you go and give me some dainty little peck at the corner of my mouth. Not even on my lips! I'm not made of glass, Sirius. You can kiss me if you want to."
"Listen, you. I want to kiss you so badly, and I know you're not made of glass, but it's been nearly fifteen years. I'm afraid that if I start, I won't stop. Furthermore, I'll push it more than I ever ought to." I replied sadly. She'd been raped as an eleven-year-old, after all, she didn't need to tack a thirty-six year old guy on her list of molesters. To my surprise, instead of staying quiet, she threw back her head and laughed raucously.
"Really, Sirius? You think that I didn't know that? Of course I knew, and I don't even care. I want to take a walk on the wild side, and there's not one person I trust to do that with more than you."
"In that case," I started, before leaning in and letting my lips touch hers. Almost instantly, her hands came up to tangle in my hair, and our lips made little whispers as they moved against each other. I felt her tongue lightly graze my lower lip, and I obligingly opened my mouth to taste her tongue as it ran over mine, massaging gently. I was being pushed back on my bed, and I let myself lie horizontal as she straddled me. Her centre hit just the right spot on my body and I moaned quietly. Ginevra pulled away to giggle before reattaching her lips to mine. One of my hands was at the back of her neck, and the other was resting on the back of her thigh, and I dropped my hand from her neck to slowly and gently explore her topography.
"Sirius, please," moaned Ginevra. My hand ran gently over her breast, making her moan again. Her hands tightened in my hair when I massaged her breast with no conviction. In response, she ground her hips against mine, apparently not even noticing she was doing it. With a tremendous effort, I tore myself away from her.
"Stop, Ginevra. We can't."
"Why not," she gasped. Her hands had begun to roam restlessly, too.
"Too soon, too soon. You're... you're only fourteen. And... Merlin, do that again... and your parents are here... your brothers... Harry, Hermione, Remus, the Order. Oh... your... past experience. Too soon in our relationship," I said between gasps and moans. Ginevra pulled back sharply. Her brown eyes narrowed dangerously, and I sat up slowly.
"If you don't want to do this, you could just say," said Ginevra.
I started laughing then, a loud, deep laugh that made the bed shake. It made Ginevra's glare soften slightly, and I pointed to the very obvious tent in my trousers. "Are you telling me, by looking at that, that I don't want this? I was under the impression that you were much smarter than that, love. I want this, so much. But I want it to be special, not some lust-filled moment that we won't remember in twenty years time. And not a moment when I'm terrified that your parents, or your brothers, or your friends, or my friends or the Order could come bursting in at any moment. I don't want to make you look like a fool in front of anyone, and I want your first time to be perfect."
"I already told you, it's not my first time. I've done it before, and it still counts, no matter how... unwilling... I might have been," said Ginevra, forcefully shrugging her shoulders with a pained look on her beautiful face.
"It will be your first time, because one, you weren't willing, and two, it'll be the first time that you make love with another person as opposed to... to being raped or having a meaningless shag," I replied sincerely. She really did deserve so much better than a crappy quickie. I knew it wasn't time yet, for either of us, no matter how much we both wanted it. I felt as much a horny teenager as she was in that moment and it made me have to choke back a snort of laughter.
She crossed her arms and gave me a stern look. In that moment, she looked so much like Lily that I almost teased her and called her 'Evans'. She blushed before speaking. "So now, I have to... sort myself out?"
I immediately understood and laughed again while I felt my own face get hotter. "You and me both, sweetheart."
She kissed me softly before leaving my room. As soon as she was well out of earshot, I groaned and stuck my hand down into my underwear. In no way was I pleased about having to 'sort myself out' – as Ginevra had put it, but there was no way I could ignore the erection in my trousers, so I sighed, ran a cautious hand up my length and gasped.
"Sirius, I'm worried about Harry," said Hermione quietly. I jumped, because I hadn't heard her enter the library, and I didn't think she'd find me here. Then I reconsidered. She was Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of her age, and I didn't need a spy, or Remus to tell me how much of a bookworm she was. I'd seen that much for myself, so it was no suprise that she was in the library in the first place. "Sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you."
"Not at all, Hermione. What's the problem?"
"I think Harry wants to stay here, with you. You're the only true family he has, you know, and he loves you. You need to convince him otherwise. He has to finish his education."
"You have a problem because he wants to stay with me?" I asked, more harshly than I intended. I was touched by Harry's desire, and annoyed by Hermione's concern of it.
"No, not at all, Sirius. I just think he's being rash. Of course he should live with you, you're his godfather and you love him every bit as much as he loves you, but you must see that he needs to finish school first, or he won't even be allowed to join the Order. If he is to join, then he really needs to know everything he possibly can, academically."
"I understand where you're coming from, Hermione, but shouldn't you let him do what he wants to do?"
"No, because it's not what's best for him, or what will keep him safe. Perhaps I should have asked Remus to talk to you instead."
"He's as safe here as he is at Hogwarts. This house may even be better protected: after all, Hogwarts isn't under the Fidelius Charm, is it?"
"No, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have ample protection," retorted Hermione.
"Hermione, I want him to be here as much as he wants to be here, and I won't force him otherwise." I replied gently. For Merlin's sake, I was being instructed by a fifteen year old girl how to raise my godson. No fucking way.
She threw me an icy look. "Right," she said in a tone just as cold, "I see I spoke to the wrong person. I thought you had Harry's best interests at heart. The thing is, I don't think you can distinguish between Harry and his father. I think that you think they are the same person, and they're not. James is d-"
"You don't need to tell me that my best friend is dead! I know that, thank you! Just as much as I know that Harry isn't James." I yelled. Hermione flinched, but I couldn't care less. The stupid bint was trying to tell me about my life, like she even had a clue. I glared at her with fury radiating off of me, until she took the hint and strode from the room. I started pacing restlessly, muttering expletives that were directed at Hermione fucking Granger.
"Really, Sirius, she's just a girl. Don't be so hard on her," said Remus, from the doorway. I yelped in surprise, and then glared at my best friend.
"She brought up James," I replied in a furious, though quiet, moan.
"I understand that perhaps she took it too far but-"
"Perhaps?" I interrupted incredulously. Perhaps was the understatement of the fucking millennia. I kicked the table and howled when it kicked me back – hard. Trust my family to have a table that attacked people.
"Sirius, that is enough." Remus looked angry, but for once I didn't care.
"You're not my fucking mother," I snarled.
"No, and I'm glad I'm not. You hated the woman," said Remus with a humourless laugh.
"Is there a reason you're here?"
"Yes, I'm telling you that Hermione is absolutely right. Convince Harry to go back to Hogwarts."
"No."
"Don't you care about him enough to make sure he gets the same level of education you did?"
"I've had enough of people questioning how much I care about Harry. He's my fucking godson, not yours, not Molly Weasley's and certainly not Hermione's!"
"He would have been my fucking godson too had the law permitted. And I would have been the one taking care of him while you were locked up in fucking Azkaban!" Remus yelled back. He'd finally cracked. His legendary calm had been pushed to the limit and I had an angry werewolf on my hands. But I just didn't care.
"I was in Azkaban because of Peter! Because he was the spy everyone thought you were!"
"Everyone thought I was the spy because I'm a fucking werewolf! You didn't fucking trust me enough to turn around and say that I wasn't! What was I? A meaningless shag? I bet you fucking laughed behind my back at what a gullible fool I was, loving you when you didn't even love me. Before you started laying plans on how to take me the fuck down of course!" Remus shrieked at the top of his lungs. I snarled at him.
"You think I didn't love you? That's what this is about? Newsflash for you, Lupin, but we both would have been cast out of the Magical World had anyone known about us! Furthermore, how could we not think you were the spy? Everyone had heard what Voldemort was saying to lure the wolves, and you spent so much fucking time with them!"
"On Dumbledore's fucking orders! And hang on, I'm not the one who switched Secret Keeper to the actual spy!"
"I did what I thought was best for James and Lily! Everyone knew that I was James' best mate, so it would have been obvious how to find them. It's not my fault that we trusted the wrong person!" I screamed. Remus' eyes flashed dangerously.
"No, but it's your fucking fault they're dead! It was your fucking idea!" Remus screeched. He sounded like my mother, adding more fuel to my growing fire.
"No it's not!" I bellowed, and Remus only had a second to react before I charged at him, flinging my wand aside. I leapt at him and my hands closed around his neck before we both went tumbling down. He repeatedly punched and kicked me as I tried to cut off both his oxygen and blood flow by strangling him to death. When he broke my nose, I gave up in favour of punching and scratching every bit of Remus I could get my hands on.
"No, Sirius, stop!" A woman was screeching at me, and trying to tug me off of Remus, but I elbowed her out of the way and heard her stumble with a grunt. I carried on beating my so called friend as much as I possibly could, and he hit me back with as much as he had – which was a fair bit, considering he was a werewolf. He rolled us so that he was on top of me, but he'd slid back so that me was straddling my thighs, so I threw myself upwards with all of my strength and broke his jaw as I head-butted him.
"Remus!" Another woman shrieked when the werewolf yelled out with pain. I punched his broken jaw, and his fist was about to snap forward and collide with my face when we were blasted apart. I flew backwards, into one of my father's bookshelves and hardback books rained down on my head. One particularly heavy book landed on my skull with a sickening thump, and I saw a flash of red before I promptly passed out.
"Sirius! Can you..." Ginny asked.
I saw black once more.
What do you think? TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME! :)
Lottie.
