Talent Competition Part One
"Now we will begin our talent competition. First we will have Mr. Marshall Flinkman." Irina announced feigning a smile.
Marshall walks out wearing a pair of baggy blue jeans, a blue True Religion hoodie and a fitted cap. Around his neck is a large platinum chain bearing the symbol for pie.
"Yo, Yo, Yo, what's up Los Angeles. Is your boy Master Flink on the ones and twos. Isn't that right ones and twos. Anyways DJ drop that beat . . . . yo."
A heavy rap beat begins to boom through the speakers.
"It's you boy Master Flink and I came to play. So all you lame brothers need to get out my way. Yall can have your flashy cars with the tricked rims, the mazaratis, the lambos and the Mercedes Benz. But I'm eco friendly, saving the world is a must. That's why in my garage all you find is a Prius. I can spit from my dome the first twenty seven digits of pie. I know you can't do it so you don't have to lie. But it's all good I'm happy with what I got. Even though I get kidnapped an awful lot. So hate if you want but I came to play, so holla, peace out and have a wonderful day." Marshall raps, once he's finished he lets out a cry resembling the Wookie.
"That wasn't half bad." Rosario says simply.
"You know what they say about men who wear baggy jeans." Namyre said flirtatiously.
Marshall reddens and takes a step back, looking towards Dixon for help.
"That was how you Americans say. Gangster." Genevieve says.
"Just because your rapping doesn't mean you have to rhyme." Elizabeth points out.
"I know. It just was. . ."
"Did I ask you to explain?"
"No but. . . I."
"Judges will you do your job and introduce the next contestant, or are the duties to much for a Ruskie to understand."
Irina's jaw tightens as she speaks through gritted teeth.
"Thank you Marshall. Our next contestant is Mr. Jim Kendall."
Kendall walks onstage and picks up the guitar waiting for him. He sits down on the stool and looks back at Irina. An odd feeling washes over her, why is he looking like that.
"Jack is a friend. Yeah you know, he's been a good friend of mine. As of late something happened that was hard to define. Jack's got his self a girl, and I wanna make her mine. And she's watching him those eyes. And she's loving with that body I just know it. I wish that I had Jack's girl." Kendall sings his voice raw with emotion.
A stunned silence falls over the crowd. Sydney and Nadia's expressions match their mothers. A mixture of astonishment and disgust. As he sings the final notes of the song he walks over to Irina and looks into her eyes.
"I wish I had Jack's girl. Yeah."
Irina is too stunned to speak, Kendall lifts her hand to his lips then walks back to the middle of the stage to hear the judges comments.
The auditorium is still quiet, all of a sudden.
"That son of bitch. Let me go, I'm going to kill him." Jack's voice booms from backstage.
"Irina darling I am so sorry." Namyre says shaking his head.
"I don't think that was appropriate." Rosario said.
"That is one of my favorite songs, and you completely ruined it." Genevieve whines.
"Well, it seems we have a competition of another sort going on tonight. And I see Jonathan isn't the only one with secrets."
"Um, next Mr. Jack Bristow." Dixon announced.
Jack comes on stage and grabs Irina roughly, kissing her senseless. He let her go shooting Kendall a death stare.
He sits down on the stool and begins to play his an amazing guitar solo before he begins singing.
I need an easy friend
I do
With an ear to lend
I do
Think you fit this shoe
I do
But you never do
Take advantage while
You hang me out to dry
But I can't see you every night
Free
I do
Jack sings in his best grunge voice, his eyes closed. As the last few notes fade away the auditorium erupts in applause. He just nods and waits for the judges comments.
"Good, nice choice of song, you played off the emotions you were feeling." Rosario suggests.
"I think you could have done better with a more soulful song" Genevieve comments.
"You can see me any night you want, just let me know ahead of time." Namyre smiles.
Jack shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
"Thank you for singing our song." Elizabeth smiles.
"What?" He asks.
"You don't remember. It's the song we shared our first kiss to. At the agency Christmas party all those years ago. You promised me that any night I needed you, you would be there. And for the longest you were. . . at my place every night." Elizabeth taunted.
Jack tensed when he remembered she was right. He stood and walked offstage, he tried to express his apology to his wife but she was too busy announcing the next contestant.
"Poor dad." Nadia said shaking her head.
Sydney and Francie nodded in agreement.
"Now Mr. Michael Vaughn." Irina announces.
Once again a guitar is sat down on the stage. Vaughn walks out and slings the plastic guitar around his shoulder. The lights dim and a screen comes down. The main menu to Guitar Hero appears on screen, mumbles run through the crowd. Vaughn enters quick play mode and selects expert level.
"Now you will see what a real guitarist can do." He says.
The digital audience is on their feet for Vaughn's character. The same could not be said for the live one, watching him play the game. His character is wearing an outfit similar to his own. A pair of tight fitting destroyed jeans, cowboy boots, and a destroyed white t-shirt and a cowboy hat.
Sweet Home Alabama begins to play. For a few seconds Vaughn is doing quite well, then things take a turn for the worse. Note after note is missed and the onscreen and live crowd begin to boo him. The game finally stops the madness.
"You suck." The announcer on the game says.
The lights come back on showing an embarrassed Vaughn.
"I think I speak for the entire panel when I say the video game said it all." Elizabeth says, the rest of the judges nodding in agreement.
"Wow Mr. Vaughn even electronics know you are deplorable." Irina says when he walks by.
"What did you see in him in the first place?" Nadia asks her sister.
"Yeah Syd. What did you see in him?" Francie interjects.
"Can we not talk about this." Sydney says defensively.
"Up next Mr. Eric Weiss." Dixon announces
Weiss walks onstage wearing black slacks and a red shirt, the top few buttons undone. The spotlight shines on him as he bows.
"Mi amor, will you join me onstage." He says in a heavy Spanish accent.
"I was wondering why you wore that dress." Sydney said as Nadia stood.
Just as Nadia was about to step towards the stage she noticed that Rosario had stood as well. Since Rosario was closer she reached Weiss first. Weiss just stared unsure what to do for a moment. When Halo began to play he sighed and began his Argentine tango.
"Go Weiss. Nice job buddy." Vaughn said when Weiss dipped Rosario and she let her leg drift up his leg.
During the dance Rosario looked at Weiss her eyes intense.
"She still loves him." Nadia said watching them, her hand slipping unnoticed to the sheath on her thigh.
Weiss and Rosario continued dancing, mesmerizing the crowd with their intensity. As the last note of the song faded away, an object whirred across the stage. Only Sydney, Nadia, and Francie saw the two knives collide and clatter at Nadia's feet. Nadia looked down at the diamond encrusted knife, then up at her mother anger in her eyes.
"Mi osito. I had forgotten what it felt like to dance with someone with such passion." Rosario said still not letting go of Weiss.
He stepped away from her and bowed politely.
"Can I get a glass of water, or a cigarette or something." Namyre said fanning himself.
"The Argentine tango is a very sexy dance, and you executed it beautifully." Genevieve said.
"My fellow judge is right. The Argentine tango should only be done by two people in love. The dance is like making love, it requires the couple to be in perfect rhythm. I did not see that in your performance. You should really get some pointers on being intimate before you attempt this dance again. I'm sure Jonathan would be able to give you some advice." Elizabeth said.
"Why did I throw that knife so soon." Irina thought to herself.
"Now our final contestant Mr. Julian Sark." Dixon announced.
Sark stepped out wearing a solid black tux. He sat down in front of the glossy black grand piano that had been placed on stage. The lights dimmed and the spotlight focused on Sark. A wave of serenity washed over the crowd as the opening chords of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata filled the auditorium.
Sydney closed her eyes thinking back to the night she heard that piece, only weeks before.
Sydney's Memory
They had just finished dinner and were discussing music.
"Mozart's Requiem is an exquisite piece, but my vote goes for Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata." Julian said.
"I know of it but it has been years since I heard it." Sydney said.
"Hold on one moment." Julian said rising to speak with the pianist.
A few seconds later the opening chords of Moonlight Sonata began to play. Sark walked back over to Sydney and bowed.
"Ms. Bristow. May I have the pleasure of this dance." He said politely.
Sydney stood and walked hand in hand with Sark to the small dance floor. They began an elegant waltz oblivious to the people around them.
"You dance like an angel." Sark commented.
"Yet my feet touch the ground." Sydney replied.
They smiled contently.
"Where did you learn to waltz?" Sark asked intrigued.
"My father taught me when I was little. Except then I used to stand on his feet."
Sark laughed.
"What's so funny?" Sydney asked.
"Your mother taught me how to waltz when I began working for her. She said that a man that cannot waltz should not be trusted."
"Trusted with what?" Sydney asked intrigued.
"Anything." He replied.
Sydney smiled and stepped closer to Sark.
She was snapped back to reality when thunderous applause erupted around her. She looked up on stage and couldn't help but smile as Sark bowed politely and waited for the judges comments.
"I'm not a fan of classical music. It's not passionate enough for me." Rosario shrugged.
"That was so beautiful, and let me just say you look sexy in that tuxedo." Namyre said.
"Decent job but you missed a chord towards the beginning." Elizabeth pointed out.
"That took me back to our night in Paris together. Just me, you a bottle of 1945 Chateau Mouton Rothschild, Beethoven playing in the background as we made love in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower." Genevieve reminisced.
"That was many years ago." Sark reminded.
"Yes but it feels like it was just last night. After all I think we only got through 200 of the 2,000 positions you said you learned." She smiled.
Sark simply bowed again and turned to walk offstage.
"Genevieve, my dear. I regret to inform that I have learned many more since then, unfortunately your count will stay at 200." Sark said walking offstage.
"Let's see, he's a wine connoisseur like you, he loves Beethoveen, he knows more than 2,000 positions, and he has magic fingers, and you honestly want me to believe he hasn't taken you to bed." Nadia teased.
"Taken me to bed," Sydney repeated "What century are we in."
"So he has taken you to bed." Nadia suggested.
Sydney sighed ignoring her sister's question.
Backstage
"Missionary, Doggy, Cowgirl, that's three." Vaughn counted on his fingers.
"You truly are pathetic Mr. Vaughn." Sark said shaking his head.
"That ends our first talent competition. Up next the portion that I'm sure all the ladies have been waiting for: the swimwear competition." Irina smiled.
Swimwear
"Now the moment I have been looking forward to all night. The swimwear competition." Irina announced.
"First up, Marshall Flinkman."
Marshall steps out wearing a black and white striped 1920's bathing suit, complete with flippers, a scuba mask, and rubber ducky floaties. He attempts to strut down the runway but only succeeds in falling. In order to play off his fall he begins doing the worm much to the amusement of the crowd.
"Next. . . Eric Weiss." Dixon says still laughing.
Weiss walks out wearing a pair of swimtrunks resembling the Argentinean Flag and a white t-shirt. He struts down the runway and walks over to the judges. He flexes and leans toward Genevieve.
"Touch it." He says pointing toward his bicep.
When she reaches out he snatches his arm away.
"Didn't your parents tell you not to play with guns." He says, turning and walking back up the runway, smiling at Nadia.
Nadia whistled at him, he smiled and pretended to growl at her.
"Next Jack Bristow." Irina says uncaring.
Jack walks out wearing a black t-shirt and the swimtrunks Irina had bought him at a joke store in New York. They were a hideous shade of brown. He walked down the runway and turned his back to the audience so they could see the writing on the back. They read King Kong has nothing on me. His eyes met Irina's and she smiled slightly. Taking that as encouragement he took a deep breath and crouched down on all fours doing his best impersonation of a gorilla. He walked back up the runway grunting and beating his chest.
"Next up, Jim Kendall." Irina announced.
Kendall walks wearing a pair of black short shorts and a t-shirt that reads: I can be the sugar in your coffee even though you drink it black. He turns to Irina shoots his finger pistols and winks. She frowns and gags. He walks down the runway and rubs his hand across his glossy head.
"Teach me how to dougie." Weiss yells, making the crowd laugh.
Angry that his moment in the spotlight is ruined Kendall walks back up the runway to stand next to Jack's who's hands are curled into fists.
"Now, Michael Vaughn." Dixon announced.
Vaughn walks out wearing nothing but a snakeskin speedo. He is carrying a bottle of suntan lotion that he proceeds to open and rub across his chest. Some of the women in the crowd whistle but most just look bored. Unknown to him a small drop of lotion spills on the runway. When he turns to join the rest of the contestants he slips and falls flat on his back, he also falls on the bottle of lotion spreading is across the runway. He manages to slide his way back up the runway.
"Now that the runway has been cleaned off from Michael's failed attempt at seduction. We will now have our final competitor Julian Sark." Irina announced.
Sark steps out wearing a pair of dark blue extra long board shorts, and an a-shirt. In is hand he carries a single lotus. He walks down the runway and looks at the flower, turning it in his hands.
"When we swim. We are not concerned with anything but the water, we do not take the time to see the beauty that is around us. Beauty such as this lotus, that can only be seen during our waking hours. Beauty that is hidden from our view when darkness claims the world. Beauty such as this should not be hidden at anytime, or for any reason." Sark says cryptically.
Sydney's Memory
"This was a good idea Julian." Sydney said breathing in the crisp night air.
They had left the restaurant hours ago and decided to take a walk in the park. They reached the pond and stopped for a moment.
"Look." Sark said walking towards the water's edge.
Sydney followed him and crouched down next to him.
"This is a rare phenomenon." He said amazed.
"What?"
"For a lotus to be out and open at this hour. Did you know that lotus close and sink back into the muddy water in which it grows every night." Sark explained.
As he spoke the lotus began to close and sink. Sark reached out and plucked the flower from the water.
"Why did you do that?" Sydney asked.
"Beauty such as this should not be hidden, at anytime for any reason." He said holding the flower out to her. She closed her eyes and breathed in the sweet aroma.
Sydney opened her eyes when she felt something land softly on her lap. She looked down to see the lotus, when she looked back onstage for Sark he had already joined the rest of the contestants.
"That was so romantic." Francie says her eyes shining with tears.
"You are his lotus Sydney. Rising from the muck in the morning, so that he may enjoy your beauty. Now I know you never slept with him, because you in the morning is anything but beautiful." Nadia teases.
Sydney isn't really paying attention to anything her sister is saying, she is too busy watching Sark.
"I've never heard Julian speak about something with such passion before. Except wine." Irina thought to herself.
A minute later the lights dim, and Irina, Katya, and Elena walk onstage wearing short black leather dresses with matching stilettos. In their hands are umbrellas. Umbrella begins playing through the speakers as they begin an elaborately choreographed routine. Nearly all the men in the audience stare transfixed, all of the Derevkos are gorgeous, even Elena didn't look so butch.
"Jack is one lucky man." An agent said to his partner.
"Why?"
"He got to sleep with two of them."
"Lucky bastard."
"It's raining. Oo baby it's raining." Irina sings as they simultaneously opened their umbrellas just as a torrent of water cascades on the stage, soaking the guys thoroughly.
They smile at the audience. Katya and Elena walk offstage and Irina rejoins Dixon at the podium.
"Since Mr. Vaughn believed his body was so perfect that he didn't have to wear a shirt, we'll start with him." Elizabeth states.
"You've let yourself go since the last time I saw you Michael." Rosario teased.
"The body is ok, but I love the tattoo. I think men with tattoos are sexy." Genevieve says.
Vaughn raises his eyebrows intrigued.
"I don't know what they are looking at. You look the same as last year except this time you look all slimy, like a fish and I hate fish." Namyre said holding his nose.
"I'd rather not comment." Elizabeth said.
Irina opens her mouth to speak then decides to remain silent. . . . for now.
A smile crosses Weiss's face as he shares a knowing wink with Nadia.
"Well, I guess I'll be next. But be warned."
He takes off his shirt revealing a much more muscular physique than the year before. Nadia wolf whistles at him, as he flexes proudly.
"You were cute last year, but now I am pleased to call you sexy. I see you put down some of those ballparks." Namyre smiled.
"The body is ok, but the shorts I love. That is a beautiful color." Genevieve remarked.
"You could stand to lose about 30 more pounds." Elizabeth pointed out.
"That bitch." Nadia said anger resonating in her voice.
"Seeing that flag brings back fond memories." Rosario said dreamily.
"What?" Weiss asked confused.
"Don't tell me you forgot mi osito. The Immigrants Festival five years ago. How we danced in the streets, two lovers indulging in the culture of Argentina. I remember it well. We ate and drank like royalty. Then indulged in each other until the sun gave way to night's solitude. We were in love mi osito." Rosario reminded.
Weiss stood silent upon remembering that day.
"Your right. But I didn't wear these for you. They are for my Argentinean goddess, mi amor, Nadia Santos." Weiss said motioning to Nadia.
Rosario turned her eyes full of hatred, Nadia smirked and blew a kiss at Weiss.
A moment passed then Jack took off his shirt. He turned around and flexes his pecs, making Irina smile slightly.
"Still as sexy as every Jack. May I touch." Namyre asked rising to his feet.
"Hands off." Irina teased.
"I've never seen someone your age have a body like that. You should be proud." Genevieve applauded.
"It's ok." Rosario commented still disgruntled.
"My, my, my, Jonathan you have been working out haven't you. Maybe we could. . . work out together sometime. You know spar a little."
"I'm afraid the position of sparring partner is already taken Lizzy."
"You haven't called me Lizzy in years."
"I meant Elizabeth. I really did mean Elizabeth." He said turning to Irina.
"Please don't apologize. My nephew has an iguana named Lizzy, it's a perfectly common name." Irina shot back.
"Wait no, the last time you called me Lizzy was last month, but you had knocked back a few. It felt just like old times. Both of us completely wasted, our inhibitions lowered to the point of being non-existent."
"Irina I. . ." Jack started.
"We will talk later." She said a pained expression on her face.
Seeing Irina's pained expression, Kendall walked towards her.
"If you take one more step, I will kill you on the spot." Irina said her voice dangerous.
He turned around and took off his shirt.
"Not as great as Jack, but I could work that." Namyre said smiling.
"Your body fits your age." Genevieve said simply.
"You look terribly, absolutely horrendous." Rosario said savagely.
"I prefer a more well defined body, but I'm sure some women here love what your offering, they are just afraid to admit it."
"Are you sure you're not the one who has something to admit." Irina retorted.
"I've admitted everything I needed to. Is there something you want to confess." Elizabeth fired back.
Irina was about to speak when Dixon's hand on her shoulder caused her to stop.
Julian smiles reassuringly at his mentor, then takes off his shirt. He is lean but still muscular. Sydney smiled remembering a night weeks before.
Sydney's Memory
The sky had opened up on their way home and the rain was coming down in torrents. Sark escorted Sydney to her door an umbrella covering them.
"I had a delightful evening, Sydney, I hope you share my sentiment." Sark smiled.
"It was nice to get out." Sydney replied.
Sark took her hand in his and kissed it gently. They shared a smile then Sark turned to walk away. All of a sudden a gust of wind blew the umbrella out of his hand and the rain came down harder.
"I can't let you drive in this weather."
"It's not that bad. Irina and I once drove through a category 3 hurricane."
"Sark please. Come inside, just until the rain let's up." Sydney pleaded.
"If you insist." He said.
They entered the house shrugging off their soaked jackets.
"If you stay in those clothes you'll get sick. Take them off and I'll dry them for you." Sydney offered.
She went upstairs to get him some clothes to change into. She handed him the clothes. He entered the small bathroom then, exiting a few moments later wearing the sweatpants she had given him.
"I didn't feel comfortable with the shirt." He said handing it back to her.
"Oh." She said taking in his physique, not paying attention to the fact that she was holding Will's baseball shirt.
She was snapped back to reality when Namyre began to speak.
"I would have preferred to see you in the speedo." Namyre winked seductively.
"You're too skinny. I like a man with meat on his bones." Rosario pouted.
"You've been in Los Angeles all this time, and you still haven't gotten a tan." Elizabeth pointed out.
"You're like the thinking man, a perfect work of art, stoic, full of vigor, but you hide it behind that nonchalant personality." Genevieve smiled.
"If I may ask, how does that pertain to my swimwear." Sark asked.
"Well I see you are wearing board shorts. They are the longer made shorts correct. I assume you are trying to downsize your vitality. But I'm afraid it isn't working." Geneieve explained.
Sark just remained quiet his expression stoic once more.
"What is she talking about?" Sydney asked.
Nadia and Francie both looked at her in disbelief.
"Seriously Syd." Francie chastised.
"Take a closer look." Nadia said.
Recognition crossed Sydney's face and she blushed deeply.
"Why are you blushing?" Francie asked.
Nadia gasps.
"You've seen him before! Haven't you! Haven't you!" Nadia said excited.
"Nadia, leave me alone ok." Sydney said feigning anger.
"The cat is out of the bag." Nadia smiled.
"There was nothing to hide in the first place."
"So you have seen him before."
Sydney turned her attention back to the stage.
"I see there is a lot of explaining that needs to be done after this is over." Irina said cryptically.
The auditorium was silent with anticipation.
"Mr. Flinkman, is there a problem." Elizabeth asked.
"No, it's just this is a one piece, and I can't really take off the top. Well I could but then it might fall the rest of the way and not that I don't have a great body because my wife tells me all the time that I have a great body. But she is a little biased, not that her opinion isn't legitimate."
"We will excuse Mr. Flinkman from this portion of the competition. However his scores will reflect his oversight of the rules of this competition." Elizabeth explains.
"Before we continue," Irina smiles "I would like to bring another breach of the rules to the judges attention. The use of padding is not allowed in this portion of the competition, and is obviously guilty of that violation."
"No way this is all natural. This is what a real man is like."
"If you wanted to make yourself seem well endowed you should have checked to make sure that none of it was protruding from your undergarments."
Vaughn looks down and sees the tip of the gym sock he had used to boost his ego. He tucked it back in, his face turning red.
"Your scores for this round are hereby irrelevant." Elizabeth stated.
"I see another potential violator." Namyre says pointing towards Sark.
"How are we to determine if it is padding?" Rosario asked slightly intrigued.
"We will have to check." Namrye said smiling.
"It's not." Sydney yelled from the audience.
Everyone looked at her astonished.
"Please elaborate on how you gained this knowledge." Irina goaded.
"I just know. I'm sure Genevieve can vouch for him as well." Sydney said attempting to turn the attention away from herself.
"Yes, Yes I can." Genevieve smiled devilishly.
"However I can't vouch for Mr. Weiss, or Mr. Bristow." Genevieve added.
"I can vouch for them. I found out last year that they are all natural." Namyre grinned.
"I can vouch for Jonathan as well." Elizabeth added.
"I'm sure he has grown since your last encounter." Irina pointed out.
"In a month. My that would be a feat wouldn't it."
A look of pure betrayal crossed Irina's face, followed by anger and hate.
"This ends out swimwear competition, next up the second part of our talent competition." Dixon announced.
The guys walked offstage. Jack pleaded with Irina to look at him, she didn't look up from her cards.
"Mr. Bristow, allow me to explain myself." Sark said once they were backstage.
"Frankly Mr. Sark I could care less right now. All I have to say is if you hurt her I will hurt you." Jack said walking away.
