The Power of Love
Chapter 3
Disappointment
"We'll see you later, Padfoot," James said, fastening a cloak around his wife.
"Alright, Prongs," said Sirius, holding Harry tightly in his arms.
Harry looked at his parents retreating backs and then to his Godfather. "Mummy, Daddy… go?" he wailed. "Uncle Padfoot… stay!" he commanded.
"Yep, kiddo, just you and me," Sirius smiled. "So… what do ya wanna do, Harry?"
"Draw?" the boy looked up at him with his Mother's green eyes.
"Yeah, why not?" Sirius smiled. He started walking Harry up to his room.
"Snuffles?" Harry said, pointing where his new stuffed toy was still lying on the living room floor.
"Yep, bet Snuffles will enjoy drawing too," Sirius smiled.
They walked upstairs. He sat on the floor with his godson, smiling. He loved Harry's bedroom. Last year, James and Lily had redone the room in pastel blues and James had tacked a few of his old Quidditch posters to the walls. The bedclothes and curtains were embroidered with snitches, quaffles and broomsticks.
Sirius went into a set of drawers and picked out a notepad and a pot with pens and colouring pencils. Harry settled down in front of his Godfather and started to draw.
"James?"
"Yes, love?" he paused where he was walking as Lily turned to look out over the bay. The lights and buildings were reflected in the water and yachts were tied up on the pontoons. Lily leant out over the railings, as her husband moved an arm around her.
"Are you okay, Flower?" James asked.
"Yeah," she turned to look at him.
"You seem… distant," he told her.
"I'm fine, Jamie," she replied, gazing out over the water.
He sighed, "Lily, what's wrong?"
She kissed his cheek and pulled away from him, "nothing is, James."
"Lily…" he called, grabbing her wrist. She turned to look into his hazel eyes, "Flower, you can tell me."
She gazed at him, before turning away. "I don't know how to."
"Lily," he took a deep breath, "what are you so worried about?"
Tears stung in her eyes, "James…" her cheeks were now lined with moisture.
"Hey, Flower, please don't cry," James put his arms around her and kissed the crown of her head.
"James…" she sobbed.
"Hmmm…" he lifted her chin and looked deeply into her green arms.
"James, I had a miscarriage," she breathed, tightening her grip on him.
"Oh, Flower," he held her tightly while she cried, a melancholy settling on his heart. It was the third baby Lily had lost since Harry had been born. He knew his wife was getting more heartbroken with each miscarriage. She desperately wanted a second child and it was no help that Harry was at this time appealing to his parents for a younger sibling. Lily wanted a large family and at times, James wondered if they'd ever have another child. He just knew he had to keep his faith in his wife, that they would have a larger family.
"How long?" James asked as her tears began to calm.
"What?" Lily glanced at him.
"When did you find out?" he asked, kissing her soothingly on the lips.
"I found out I was pregnant two weeks ago, I went to St Mungo's yesterday morning and they told me I had miscarried," she told him. "I… I… uh… didn't know how to tell you."
"Oh, Lily," he smiled.
"Jamie, I want another baby," she whispered.
"I know, Lils, so do I," he replied.
"I was two and a half months, today," she told him, "I thought I might just make it."
"Don't worry, Lily, we'll get there," he said with a confidence he didn't really feel.
She sighed, "I hope so."
"We will," he promised, kissing her lightly on the lips. "Come on, let's go home."
"Okay," she sighed. "And James?"
"Yeah?!"
"Thanks for your support," she whispered.
"It's okay, love," he stroked her cheek.
"I love you," she told him.
"I love you too," he promised.
"Hey, Prongs, Lily, good evening?"
"Yeah, wasn't bad," James lied, putting his arm around Lily's waist.
"I just put Harry to bed, he was out like a rock," Sirius laughed.
Lily smiled, "must have made him tired. I'm going to bed, James. Come and join me when you're ready. Night, Sirius."
"Goodnight, Lily," Sirius smiled.
"Night, Flower, I'll be up shortly," James gave her a soft kiss on the lips.
"Night," she replied. James could hear her moving around in the bathroom as he and Sirius sat down in the living room. He sat opposite his best friend and ran a hand wearily through his messy hair.
"Prongs, are you okay?" Sirius asked.
James sighed, "Padfoot, Lily had another miscarriage."
Sirius stared at him, "Prongs," no answer. "Prongs, are you okay, man?"
"As good as can be expected, I suppose," James answered, slowly.
"Aw! Prongs, man!" Sirius moved over to him and put an arm softly round his disheartened friend.
They heard Harry's door opening and James imagined his wife leaning over Harry in his crib and kissing him softly. Lily was a brilliant mother; she had been through so much. She had tried so hard to ensure Harry was safe, now and when Voldemort had been after him. If anyone deserved another child, it was her.
"Sirius, what am I going to do?" James asked softly. "I mean, I got Lily pregnant three months after we got married… and we've conceived three other babies since then. So that can't be it."
"Prongs," Sirius called, "maybe you and Lily just aren't ready for child number two yet. I heard this saying that nature doesn't let you have babies after a certain age, so that the parents don't die of old age before the kid grows up. Perhaps this is the same. You're just not naturally ready for child number two."
"Possibly," James smiled. "Well mate, I'd better go and find my wife."
"Yeah," Sirius said, standing.
James smiled, following him to the door, "I'll see you in work."
"Yeah," Sirius grinned, "hope Lily isn't too irritable tomorrow."
"Me too," James chuckled. He turned and hugged his friend.
"Night, James."
"Goodnight, Padfoot," he watched his mate walk off, before closing the door and walking upstairs. He got ready for bed before lying down next to Lily. "You alright, Flower?"
She turned her head to look at him, "I'm alright."
"Are you sure?" he asked, pulling her closer to him.
"I'm okay, James, upset, but I'll get through," she gave a weak smile.
"Good," he kissed her.
"Night, James," she smiled, turning over.
"Night, Flower," he kissed her cheek, holding her tightly as they fell asleep, entwined.
