Over the Hills and Far Away

Chapter Four – Ceremonies

"I don't want to be bound to Calico," Purple muttered, more to himself than to anyone else.

Red sat and stared at Purple for a long time, clicking his tongue in a vague attempt to irritate his co-tallest. No such luck. In fact, Purple didn't seem to be registering much at the moment. He looked strangely pensive, an expression that rarely occurred on his face, if ever. This annoyed Red even more. His pride had been dented; nobody picked Purple over him, and the fact that Purple didn't even like his new fiancée just added insult to injury. Eventually, he spoke.

"She should have picked me. You know what it is? She's one of those highly-strung females. She got annoyed 'cause I called her 'mate-slave' so she's trying to annoy me," he said in an attempt to reassure himself. It took Purple a while to work out what Red was implying, but when it clicked he turned to him, his eyes narrowing slowly.

"Are you saying that she wouldn't pick me for any other reason?" he asked, and Red shrugged nonchalantly.

"She's not really your type, Pur," he said in the kind of tone a handler might use with a nervous animal, "She's the kind of female who'd go for someone smart, witty and good looking."

"You?" Purple asked, an eyebrow raised, and Red nodded encouragingly. Well done, little Pur you get an A; go to the head of the class.

"Exactly! You just need to wait to find a female who'll accept you for who you are and then..."

Purple stood up suddenly and looked at Red reproachfully, practically shouting that Calico had picked him, not Red, so he could just SHUT UP! Outside the room, Calico smiled. It wasn't as though she had known at the time that her picking Purple would make them both annoyed at each other, but she drew pride from it all the same. The plan that Korfilda had made for her to carry out at the party would be a lot easier if Red thought he had something to prove. She sighed. Once Red was out of the picture she had a feeling that things would be pretty boring on the Massive. She allowed one of the tendrils that flowed from her head to snake around the door in order to hear more clearly.

"Listen, Pur," Red continued reasonably, "At least put off the ceremony for a while. So that if she does have second thoughts, you'll be let off the hook, right?"

Purple exploded at this. The ceremony, he said, would be today, as soon as possible. In fact, he was having second thoughts about inviting Red at all. Calico smiled and slipped off to go and change, but before she could get much further than the end of the corridor, spindly fingers closed around her arm and pulled her back. It was Red, his face twisted into a hideous grimace.

"You should have picked me, mate-slave," he spat, and she looked calmly at him.

"I really don't see why. With all due respect, what makes you so special?" she asked politely, and Red's eyes widened.

"Whaddya mean 'what makes me so special'? I'm the Tallest!" he gasped, as though he was answering the most idiotic question he had ever encountered.

"Ah, yes, just one of your many talents. You'll definitely win me over by being tall at me," Calico smirked.

Red watched her walk away with bulging eyes until she turned the corner. She looked back over her shoulder and winked. He stood in the middle of the corridor, wondering what to do with himself. His authority had just been challenged by somebody who was not only shorter than him, but not even Irken! And most of all, she was denying him something that was, after all, rightfully his. But what a Tallest wants, a Tallest usually gets one way or another. He wasn't going to let a little thing like Calico choosing Purple stop him.

--

Though she had only been a hatchling at the time, Calico could still remember the first bonding ceremony that she had attended. It had been the bonding of Korfilda's sister, and Calico had been in the front row. Orpall had walked up to the ceremonial table, her long antennas entwined with the short, Irken-esque antennas of the male Eiscalian. Whilst Calico and her mother had two blue antennas, Orpall's were yellow, and the golden pupils in her gleaming eyes had made them look like enormous double-yolked eggs. She was wearing a marigold dress.

As the two reached the table, Korfilda had squeezed Calico's hand and smiled, glowing with pride for her sister. Calico had watched, wide eyed, as her Aunt downed the ceremonial liquid. She had coughed and spluttered at the fiery strength of the brew, before looking up to see her mate doing exactly the same. They had looked at each other and grinned, and it had been at this moment that Calico had realised that she wanted her own bonding ceremony to be with a male that was in tune with her. She wanted to look every bit as beautiful as Aunt Orpall had done, and most importantly, she wanted the ceremony to be just as perfect as that one had been. Korfilda had looked down to her daughter and placed her hands on her shoulders.

"You're the youngest single female in the family now, honey. So, when are you going to bind with that cute male from your painting class, eh?"

Cally had giggled and blushed, shaking her head violently.

"I'm going to get bonded with the bestest, most handsomest, richest male in all of Eiscalia," she had replied, with a child's reasoning, "Because I want to bind for true love."

"I'll keep an eye out for him then, darling," Korfilda had smiled, "Your bonding day is the one every female remembers. I want yours to be extra special."

Calico narrowed her eyes. As usual, her mother had lied to her. Her extra special bonding ceremony was to some lanky, idiotic Irken, and it certainly wasn't true love. But that didn't matter as long as she was helping her Empire. Wasn't that was everybody was worried about? The Empire? The Irkens only cared about it, her mother couldn't give a toss about anything else, and both she and Purple were being forced into it. The only difference was that she knew what she was letting herself in for. 

Or at least, she thought she did. The mauve-eyed male Irken from the Wardrobe Department came in, a wide smile on his face.

"Princess Calico," he said in a lisping, camp voice, "I have been ordered by the Tallest Purple to inform you that you are required for your bonding ceremony. That is all."

She shot him a withering glare and watched him recoil from the room, bowing as he walked. Then she stood up with a sigh. Should she bother to change into a nicer dress? After much deliberation, she decided that it was for the best. A long, slinky number with a slit up the side, perhaps? To really get Red riled up. She hummed the Eiscalian Bonding March as she dressed. When she opened the door, the mauve-eyed servant was waiting patiently for her. He eyed her dress with a faint smile.

"Well, slave. You'd better show me the way, or I'll be late for my own bonding," Calico said dryly, and he nodded. She followed him wearily down the endless corridors until they got to a door.

"They're waiting for you," the servant said, and opened the door.

--

Calico walked into a dingy, drab room that had many pieces of lethal-looking machinery in it. In the centre, leaning on what looked like an industrial tin opener, was Purple. He hadn't bothered to change, she noticed. In fact, there were still doughnut crumbs on his robes from his gorge-fest earlier. She approached him with a look of uncertainty in her eyes. Red stood the other side of the machine, an unreadable expression on his face. She held her head high and swallowed deeply.

"What's that machine?" she asked, and Red spoke, his voice bland and bored.

"It's the ceremonial laser cutter. Used primarily for surgically removing the middle finger of new Tallests, but also for bonding ceremonies," he explained, and she eyed the laser nervously.

"Would the Princess please insert her finger into the hole provided," the technician requested mechanically, whilst Red and Purple sniggered at the phrase.

Calico rolled her eyes in a vain attempt to hide her fear, placing her finger into the metal tube. As the technician began to power up the machine, Red noticed that her hands were trembling, and though Calico had her head held high, her eyes were lowered. She slid her remaining hand across the surface of the machine until it reached Purple's, resting it against it until he took the hint and closed his claws limply around her fingers. The laser burst into life, and she drew in a gasp, squeezing Purple's hand tightly, her eyes screwed shut.

Purple looked at his soon-to-be-mate with mild puzzlement on his face. She was grasping at his hand for comfort, or protection. Her face was closed up in pain, and a single tear rolled down her cheek, so hot he could see steam fizzling from it. Then the machine turned off, and it was over. Purple took one last look at their intertwined hands on the table before she jerked hers away so she could tenderly nurse her finger.

Calico turned her hand in the light, looking at the words that had been tattooed in a ring around her finger. As she read them, her throat closed up and the pit of her stomach tightened. She turned to her new mate in shock, as though to confirm that they were true. He stared back, his eyes wide. She glanced back towards the loving maxim that her body was forever branded with.

Property of Tallest Purple

AN

Please review and I shall update soon!

Invader Zim is the property of Jhonen Vasquez.

I own Calico, the other Eiscalians and the Wardrobe Drones.