Considering her good luck, Marinette had not been expecting that the research project on Chinese mythology would see her paired up with Lila. It wasn't that she didn't like her-even at her worst she wasn't nearly as bad as Chloe-but her secret grudge on Ladybug made rather uncomfortable spending too much time with her. That, and Marinette was sure that Lila at least suspected her secret identity, she had been looking at her when she thought she wasn't looking far too often.

"So, what are we going to tackle?" Lila asked her. "Not really an expert on Chinese mythos, and I have no idea about you…"

"I actually know a bit about the huli jing, I grew curious after Volpina." Marinette blurted out before realizing who she was talking to. "Well-I mean-"

"You mean nothing bad, I know. You're nice enough the Borghesotta's still alive, I'd have already strangled her in your place. Been trying to figure that out for days, now…"

What?

The Chinese huli jing legend was the origin of the fox-related legends in East Asia, in which the foxes were represented as shape-shifting tricksters that could be good or bad omens, but were invariably to not provoke due their "different" morality, and, for good or bad, often seduced people around them. Marinette found that described Lila perfectly: while she wasn't a shapeshifter (and hadn't been one even as Volpina, thankfully) she was most certainly into tricking people for fun, had proven herself a good friend to Marinette just as she still hated Ladybug, had a terrifying temper, and had taken a liking at getting Marinette flustered, and not just by her tendency to invade personal space, just as she became unexpectedly close. And, much to Marinette's surprised disappointment, had decided to help her with Adrien.

"The thing you must remember is that nurture has just as much effect as nature on a person, and that rich kids tick a little differently from working class kids." she had said. Then, suddenly closing on Marinette's face, she added: "Being fairly wealthy myself, I shall now teach you how to please a rich kid."

After thoroughly enjoying Marinette's blushing freak-out, Lila explained she meant how to get his attention.

"Now, Adrien is a bit of a special case, what with his overprotective parents keeping him locked in for years and also teaching him the value of hard work, so he craves companionship and can appreciate hand-made things." she continued. "The second part I'm told you've got it down, and by the time the report is due, I'll have you able to just talk to the boy. And then, considering it's you, you'll have those rumors about what you and him do during akuma attacks turned into truth in no time."

"Wait, what rumors?" Marinette asked, worried about someone coming too close to the truth."

"That you're already dating and using the confusion of akuma attacks to make out without things getting to Gabriel Agreste, didn't you know?"

"WHAT?!"

"Honestly, if I didn't know how you act around him is not an act I'd actually believe it myself, it's the most logical explanation for your disappearances unless the two of you are Ladybug and Chat Noir."

Uh-oh.

"You are not them, right?"

"No! Of course no! I know both Adrien and Chat, and they're very different!"

"What about you?"

"No! I couldn't enlist myself to help Chat, could I? And I wouldn't ask Chat if I'm cute, am I?"

"Wait… I thought Ladybug was after Adrien?! Uuugh! This situation is getting so ridiculous I'm hallucinating laughing chipmunks!"

Tikki stopped laughing, and decided to take advantage of Lila's distraction to call for help before the Italian girl tried to strangle Marinette.


When she got home for the day Lila was supposed to research a few things about Huxian the fox goddess and her differences with Inari, her Shinto counterpart, but she couldn't concentrate, not with the doubts about Marinette being Ladybug. That would be really convenient, it meant Ladybug's mannerism was just the result of having a frequently visiting Italian grandmother and thus she had no meant to all but declare war by apologizing for the dressing down in front of a different witness and thus she could throw away that apparently one-sided feud and not feel (too) guilty whenever she ogled Ladybug in that skintight suit (having a recently admitted crush on her helped), but would also mean that Adrien was most likely Chat Noir… And how could she compete with a friggin' SUPERHERO?! It was Knightowl and Sparrow all over again, only worse because she actually KNEW Ladybug! That, and she wasn't sure Knightowl saw his sidekick as a possible romantic partner, plus the age difference.

As she entered her room she noticed there was something that shouldn't have been there, a small hexagonal box, probably another attempt from them to buy her out. As if she was going to forgive them for what they had done to her relationship with her grandmother… Still, even if it was that she could make use of it, even if just for selling as pocket money. Then she saw a necklace, a Gabriel one from the Miraculous line like the one she had bought shortly before the meeting with Ladybug-a necklace she still had and would stubbornly wear from time to time. And the sperm donor and the incubator were too smart to not know that. So, who did have access to the room and reason to give her something she already had?

And the answer came in the form of someone Lila identified as Huxian herself.


Papillon was someone willing to do almost anything to have the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculouses, and able to take any chance. That was why, as soon as the occasion was right, he had brought back Numéric, even if he was a bit disgusted with himself. Oh, well, he'd have Nathalie send gift baskets to Jagged Stone, Chloe Borgeois and the pigtailed girl who had joined the blonde into convincing the rockstar to file a restraining order against the stalker. Still, he could enjoy the scene, the soon-to-be-captured superheroes that had just appeared to confront his villain, Adrien and that pigtailed girl dragging away the fox liar, the pan-wait, what?!

"Turn back, I need to see a thing!" he ordered the villain.

Numéric did just that, and he did see confirmation that Adrien was not Chat Noir. Then Numéric suddenly snapped his head to the side and to the ground, and he heard from him some unexpected words.

"I am Vorpika! The only superhero this creep needed!"

Then the connection was broken.

"Nathalie, gift baskets."

"No pun this time, sir?" the assistant asked, only receiving a glare as answer.


"Here goes that theory…" Alya said to herself as she spotted Marinette and Adrien trying to drag away Lila.

From what she had heard, the Italian girl hated paparazzi and stalkers with a passion, and she wanted to enjoy Ladybug and Chat Noir beating Numéric up… And by that she had just provided evidence that Marinette and Adrien were not the superheroes (she knew Marinette's love life too well to believe she was secretly making out with Adrien during the Akuma attacks). At least she could document Numéric's defeat for her from up close. Then she saw an orange blur, and suddenly someone that looked very similar to Volpina punched the Akumatized villain hard enough to turn his head, before punching him in the stomach and making him double down. Then, after picking up the akumatized head camera, she raised it to the sky, put a foot on the poor villain, and shouted "I am Vorpika! The only superhero this creep needed!" before throwing the camera to Chat Noir, who broke it with his baton. Then she turned to Alya, and said: "You're the Ladyblogger, right? I believe we should schedule an interview, if I understand it's a tradition here in Paris for the Miraculous holders to have their first exclusive with you. Wonder when the Terror Bowtie will crawl out of his hole and schedule his…"

Alya dragged on the scheduling a bit, suspecting Vorpika to be indeed Lila and that the one she had spotted was an illusion, but while the superhero was in a hurry there was not the strange sound that came after the use of a Miraculous' power. Then the superhero disappeared after the police dragged Aza away. Well, back to the hotel, if Chloe wanted to prove herself nice and Adrien was around to keep her that way, who was she to deny her?


Ladybug knew this was Lila. She had been a bit dazed since yesterday-why she had not joined Chloe in insulting Aza when the hotel's staff was removing him, Lila really hated stalkers-and that "Vorpika" was Rome's dialect for "fox" mixed with the Italian comic book suffix for female antiheroes and villains. And she really wanted to know how and why. So she and Chat followed her to the roof, where they saw her pull the Fox Miraculous from behind her back-the one in front had been the Gabriel necklace, apparently-and out of a small soundproof box. Then Ladybug's eyes fell on the hands, with the gloves having MMA glove-like padding for obvious reason (Ladybug mentally noted to follow her cousin Bridgette's suggestion and enroll the self-defense course at the Savate gym near home. Bridgette had been insisting for so long she had been about to do it before getting the Miraculous, but with the Akuma villains not feeling pain she had not seen the point to renounce to some much-needed free time for martial arts… Except they worked if you knew what to do), and then to the tail, not a cloth belt like in the Volpina outfit, but an actual, fluffy, enticing tail…

After slapping herself with both hands, Ladybug demanded to know what her game was-only to be caught by surprise when Vorpika bowed.

"I humbly apologize for what happened on the Eiffel Tower. I was under the impression you were Italian like me, and in Italy apologizing in front of witnesses for an insult done in presence of different witnesses is a grave insult." she explained, leading Ladybug to facepalm. "Had not a lucky accident not led to me discovering both of your identities, I would still try to start a one-sided feud."

Wait, what?

"What did you just say?" Chat asked.

"That I know your identities." Vorpika confirmed as her timer expired and she casually produced sunflower seeds for her kwami. "And as you'll see on the Ladyblog, I made sure to cover them and my own thanks to a few well-placed illusions and shoving a "volunteer" in a closet. Ladybug, if you'll have me I would like to be your friend."

Chat would have really liked to ask what was Lila planning to do with that knowledge, but considering how hurt his lady had been by Lila's rejection on the Eiffel Tower he knew better than to interrupt their hug, and decided to discreetly leave. Something Lila took advantage of to steal a kiss from Ladybug.


"You what?" Alya asked Lila and Marinette the following day at school, after being given a (heavily edited) version of the previous day's events.

"If Captain Oblivious was, well, oblivious, it was obvious someone would move in-successfully, in my case." Lila said.

"Did not see that one coming… I just hope Chat doesn't end the same way."

"MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG! LILA ROSSI!" Chloe shouted as she stomped their way. "WHY DO PEOPLE SAY YOU'RE NOW IN A THREE-WAY RELATIONSHIP WITH ADRIEN?!"

Marinette facepalmed.

"Because they've missed Fang and that our foursome had been going on for twenty years?" Lila replied.

"NOT FUNNY! Also run, Zoe the fangirl was crying and I've spotted an Akuma on my way here."


Notes:

Knightowl and Sparrow are two US-based superheroes that appear in the Miraculous Adventures comics alongside Majestia (Alya's role model before she started fangirling Ladybug. She also has in-universe comic books), and are the local counterparts of Batman and Robin. No confirmed romantic relationship, but tell that to the fans...

Part of my personal headcanon is that Lila's parents are rather protective, and the moment they saw her maternal grandmother making certain plans for her they took jobs that brought them around the world to separate them and lied to ruin their relationship, fully knowing that if Lila ever found out she would never forgive them as-well, it's the grandmother. Italian thing, really. It goes without saying that Lila did find out at some point.

As you know, in the PV Ladybug kicks a lot, even by toe-something most non-Savate styles don't. And since this is France…

Kudos offered for whoever recognizes why it's sunflower seeds.