Scott Pilgrim on the Road…Again

Disclaimer: Still do not own Scott Pilgrim or Fallout 3

It's been two long, rock and roll filled weeks since we last left Scott. Fortunately since Scott is already such an idiot, that head injury did not do too much damage.

"I swear I'm going to ignore you! Stupid narrator," Scott yelled.

"Scott, shut up!" Neil snapped.

Two weeks under a dimly lit radio tower, constantly under attack wears on everyone's nerves. Especially when those people have to put up with Scott's constant whining.

"You're not gonna to get to me… not gonna get to me. Wait did you say I was whining!" Scott yelled. "Ramona, the narrator said I was whining,"

I rest my case.

"Just shut up Scott," Kim said.

Scott sighed and went over to box where they kept their food. The small coffer was slowly, but surely emptying.

"Hey guys!" Scott called out. "We have a problem. We need to leave...Soon. Like now soon,"

The group decided to head back to Knives' old hideout and see if there was anything left.

"Alright before we leave, check to make sure you have your weapons," Stephen Stills said.

What do you guys have anyway?

"Well I've got my brass knuckles, and a plasma rifle. Stephen Sills has his magnum and a Chinese assault rifle. Neil has his combat shotgun… nuff said there. Knives has her sniper rifle and a silenced 10mm pistol. Wallace has a power fist and enough chems to kill a Yao Guai. Ramona has a plasma pistol, plasma grenades, and a combat rifle. And Kim has a super sledge and the power of drum solos," Scott said.

"Wait a second, drum solos? That's a lame weapon," Kim said.

Okay before you guys go two questions. One where did you and Stephen Stills get your new weapons?

"We got them in the part you skipped last time. I got mine from one of those Enclave guys, and Stephen Stills got his from a raider camp we cleared out," Scott said.

Okay, next question. Ramona, where did you get your weapons?

"Umm I've always had them Scott," Ramona said confused.

"What? No, that wasn't me. That was the narrator," Scott said.

"Ummm…okay then?" Ramona said.

Hey you two should probably go. The others are way ahead of you.

"Aww, come on. Not again," Scott said as he and Ramona chased after their friends.

Unfortunately when they got there, the base was empty. All of the supplies were gone.

"My keen survival instincts tell me that this was the work of raiders," Scott said.

Really? What gave it away? Was it the raider armor laying everywhere, or the bodies chained to the walls and ceiling, or maybe it was the graffiti that says 'Raiders were here?' Or maybe you're just a psychic!

"…words hurt you know," Scott said.

"Okay let's go Scott starts crying about his imaginary friend," Wallace said.

"I am not crying. And he is not my friend… and he is not imaginary!" Scott yelled.

And so are brave, or in Scott's case annoying, adventurers set off to find more supplies, angry at fate for being stranded in the Wastes with no food or water, only Wallace's vast stores of alcohol.

"Hey narrator guy!" Scott called out.

What do you want Scott? I thought you said you weren't going to talk to me again?

"Well I'm not going to after this. But, I have a question. How did we get here in the first place?"

Oh that. Well to make a long story short and because I know you don't have the patience or mental capacity for the whole story I'll just say that subspace got crossed in the space time continuum and you lucky seven got dragged into this world.

"Wow, that sucks," Scott said.

"Scott, I'm trying to work here. Do mind not talking to yourself?" Stephen Stills asked as he worked on the groups weapons.

The next day.

"So where are we going?' Scott asked for the 30th time in the last five minuets.

"I already told," Stephen Stills said.

"Okay so remind me," Scott persisted.

"No. you should remember. It's not my fault that you're an idiot," Stephen Stills said.

Finally, someone I agree with.

"Okay so where," Scott started.

"We're going to Galaxy News Radio. If you listened every once in a while, you'd know that," Kim said trying to prevent a fight.

And so they walked. After about three hours.

"Three hours? It's been at least three days!" Scott said.

So I'm skipping again. Sue me. Anyway they came across a settlement.

"This is a settlement?" Scott asked the others.

"I guess," they all replied.

"Hey, if you don't like it you don't have to stay," a man sitting on the other side of the bridge that lead to the town said.

"Who are you?" Neil asked.

"Yeah and where are we. And why does this town suck?" Scott asked.

"My name is Dusty. And this Bigtown and it does not suck. We were attacked by Super Mutants a lot, until a few weeks ago when some lone wanderer came through and saved us. Now we're recovering from the attacks," Dusty explained.

Hey Scott, look at you're wrist.

"Which one?" Scott asked.

Gee I don't know, how about the one with a mini computer on it! Idiot.

"Hey what is this thing?" Scott asked as he began to mess with it.

That, my dear Scott, is a Pip-Boy 3000. It can show you a map of where you've been, check your vitals, and keep lit of all of the things you are carrying. How did you not notice it?

"Hmm. Well according to this my perception is low," Scott said looking at a status screen

Yeah almost as low as your intelligence.

Yeah… wait a second you just insulted me!" Scott yelled.

"So this place is called Bigtown," Stephen Stills said talking to Dusty.

"Yep, it isn't much, but if you need a place to rest, then this is as good a place as any," Dusty said. "Hey, whats with your friend over there?"

"Who Scott? Don't worry about him, he's just crazy," Stephen Stills said.

"I am not crazy! I'm just talking to an invisible narrator who only I can here most of the time," Scott yelled.

"…Alright then, just put your stuff in the common house over there," Dusty said pointing to one of the buildings.

"Do you think we should spend the night here?" Knives asked.

"Well it is getting late," Scott said looking at the declining sun.

"Yeah and Wallace is past out," Ramona said.

"Okay then let's go get some sleep," Neil said walking towards the common house.

The next day.

Scott woke up and yawned. "Good morning everyone. Wait a second. I'm awake, and it's not even noon. That can't be good," Scott did a quick head count. "Oh no where's Kim?"

"She's right here," Neil said holding up his shotgun.

"No the real Kim! She's been kidnapped!" Scott yelled.

To Be Continued

Character Interview #1

Okay, I'm here today with Mr. Scott Pilgrim.

"Don't call me mister, mister," Scott said.

Fine, okay. So how has your stay in the Wastes been?

"Fine. I have to put up with an annoying narrator, and one of my friends just got kidnapped but other then that I'm fine," Scott said.

How would you describe it?

"Kinda of like videogame," Scott said.

Well we're out of time. Do you have anything else to say before we go?

"Yes. I curse the narrator to listen to jazz for the rest of his life!" Scott said. "Muhahahah,"

…I like jazz music.

"Son of a," Scott began to say.

Well see you next time.