Tegan Chronicles STV Style 2:

Rolling in the Deep 4

"Come in." Janeway called from her couch.

Tegan walked in in a clean uniform with her hair still slightly damp.

"You could have dressed in something more comfortable, it's not a formal meeting."

Tegan chewed on the inside of her bottom lip. "I'm comfortable in my uniform, ma'am."

Janeway was still in her uniform as well. It was rare that she actually wore anything different. She patted the couch next to her. Tegan looked at the empty chaise before settling on the couch where Janeway obviously wanted her to sit. "Coffee? Oh wait, you're a hot chocolate girl."

Before she could decline Janeway was already placing the order and getting up to retrieve it.

"Computer one European dark hot chocolate made with two percent milk and topped with whipped cream." She brought the mug over and handed it to Tegan. "I think it actually made it hotter than it does my coffee."

"Thank you." Tegan wondered how she knew she liked hot chocolate, it was a discussion she'd had briefly with B'Elanna in the mess hall. As she recalled the memory she remembered the captain being present two tables over. She leaned forward and sat the mug down on the on the coffee table as Janeway took up residence beside her.

She didn't waste any time getting to the point. "What happened in the brig earlier?"

"The lights went out." It seemed like the most logical answer to her.

"Yes they did, but you're not afraid of the dark. Right?"

"No, I'm not." She ran her hand down her thigh as if she was ironing imaginary wrinkles out of her uniform before she intertwined her human fingers with her biomechanical ones and rested them on her lap.

Janeway reached up and put her hand on her shoulder. "What are you afraid of then?"

Tegan shook her head and moved to the edge of the couch causing Janeway to pull back. She stood up and walked to a small clear area in front of the large view port and looked out at all the stars. She clasped her hands behind her but stood less rigidly than Seven would have. She supposed there were plenty of things in this recess of space to be afraid of but they didn't scare her. "Nothing."

"Really?" She made no attempt to move but watched Tegan's every move. "Everyone is afraid of something."

"Not me." Tegan turned and looked at her. "Everything I've ever been afraid of is in my past."

"Your timeline?"

"No." She shook her head.

Janeway realized trying to talk about what frightened her wasn't going to get her any answers so she decided to try a different approach. "In the brig you said you killed someone."

"I did?" She moved back to the couch and sat down before her knees gave out on her.

"Yes, and when I asked who you said your mother and your grandmother. You were huddled in a tiny ball under the bunk, what happened?"

Tegan sighed. "I—uh—I remember the power going out and telling the security officer I would be fine. And then…"

Janeway watched as she closed her eyes.

"I must have had a flashback. I remember thinking I hadn't been afraid of the dark since I was a little kid, since I had been locked in the closet after my grandmother died." She opened her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Who locked you in the closet?"

"Randall, my dad, he's the only thing I've ever really been afraid of." She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. She felt so naked baring her past like this to anyone, but especially her Captain. "My maternal grandmother was my caretaker until the day after my fourth birthday when she had a heart attack, my dad blamed me for her death just like he did my mom's. It was my grandmother's death that eventually led me into medicine."

She reached over and rubbed Tegan's back. "You were four, it wasn't your fault."

"Yeah." Tegan mumbled and rubbed the pads of her thumb and forefinger over her eyes. She didn't know why she didn't leave it there. Why her mouth kept moving. "My dad wasn't a good guy, at least not to me. He didn't think I was his child, my mom told him she was raped because she wasn't supposed to get pregnant due to the extremely high chance she wouldn't survive childbirth.

"She refused to abort me and made him promise to raise me. He took her death out on me. He called me every year on my birthday to tell me it was the whatever year anniversary of the day I killed my mother. He even threatened to kill me when I was thirteen, right after I graduated from high school, gun shoved in my face and all. Later he really did try to kill me but he was caught and put behind bars for killing his second wife and attempted murder of yours truly."

"That's awful."

"No it's not." She shrugged as Janeway pulled her hand away. "Every kid has a boogeyman, he was mine."

"Most kids' boogeymen are nothing more than part of their overactive imaginations."

"If they're lucky enough. I don't talk about it. I rarely if ever think about it." She sat up straight and tried to square her shoulders.

Janeway watched her pull her armor back on. "It doesn't make you weak."

"I'm sure that's not what you were thinking when you saw me curled up under the bunk in the brig."

"We all have our moments Tegan. It doesn't mean we are weak. I'd say you turned out pretty well considering and maybe it helped make you the strong warrior you are today."

"Warrior," she laughed. "You're confusing me with B'Elanna."

"Not at all."

Tegan shifted on the couch so she could look more directly at Janeway. "I'm tired, if there is nothing else I'd like to retire to my quarters."

"No, you more than answered my questions. I do want to apologize again for my haste in throwing you in the brig."

"If the power had stayed on I could have done the week standing on my ear." Tegan grinned.

"Let's try not to test that theory out."

"Yes ma'am." Her head bobbed.

"You can go." She watched her walk to the door before getting her attention again. "Tegan?"

"Yes?" She turned back to see Janeway standing up.

"I expect you to return to duty tomorrow morning."

"Yes ma'am." She couldn't contain the grin that spread across her lips.


"Did you escape?" The doctor asked when Tegan walked into the sickbay the next morning.

"What?" She gave him a strange look and then shook her head. "No, turns out it was all a misunderstanding."

"Really?" He craned his neck toward her.

"The Captain made a mistake."

"That doesn't sound like Captain Janeway."

"She's human." Tegan shrugged.

"What was the mistake?"

"She thought I had disobeyed a direct order."

"Because you were off and you were here?" He watched her pick up a PADD and look at the day's schedule.

"Yes and I guess technically since I helped with that emergency I didn't follow her orders."

"So what did you learn from all this?"

"That the Captain isn't infallible." She grinned and turned as the topic of conversation walked in. She cleared her throat and sucked half of her bottom lip between her teeth before pulling it out with a quiet pop. "Captain, what can we do for you?"

Janeway watched her tongue slip out from between her lips to wet them before sliding almost nervously back into the warm recess of her mouth. She took a deep breath and tried to focus on the reason she had come down but she suddenly couldn't remember. She looked around and rather than admit to her folly or cover it with a white lie, she just turned and left.

"That was odd." The doctor's brow wrinkled.

"You're telling me." Tegan continued to stare at the door.


Tegan walked into the mess hall and B'Elanna called from where she was sitting a couple tables from the entrance. "Hey Flash, how'd you manage to bust out?"

"The Captain let me out on good behavior."

Janeway who was standing over at the galley counter looking over the dinner selections looked up at Tegan and smiled.

Tegan turned and spotted Janeway sporting her curious grin. She stepped up to the counter and lifted her chin. "Captain."

"I'm glad you're not harboring a grudge."

"Why would I?"

Her smile faded and a small frown formed on her forehead. "Why wouldn't you?"

"You're my commanding officer for one and in all technicality I disobeyed a direct order from you, extenuating circumstances notwithstanding."

"Well when you put it that way, do you want to finish your time?" She lifted a brow and grinned slyly.

"Only if you wish for me to." She showed no fear over returning to the brig.

"No," Janeway shook her head, "I don't. Eat and enjoy your evening."

"Thank you Captain. You do the same."

"Do you want to go rock climbing with me when you finish your shift tomorrow?" B'Elanna asked as Tegan joined her and Harry.

"Seven isn't going to attack me for going out with her girl or anything, is she?"

B'Elanna laughed. "She doesn't like rock climbing."

"What makes you think I do?"

"You're right," B'Elanna shrugged. "You're probably too weak to rock climb. What, with that gimp arm and all."

Tegan shook her head as her face reddened. "Oh, you are so on!"