Accidentally ended up with a 4k word count on this chapter because I realised that we hadn't had a proper sex scene yet. I am both sorry, and simultaneously not sorry.
Also, I saw St Vincent live the other nigh, and she was awesome. If you haven't heard the new album yet, give it a go.
Replies to reviews at the end.
After Piper returned from her run, they settled into the evening routine they'd become accustomed to; dinner, downtime, showers, then bed.
Sometimes they would read in the low glow of the bedside lamps, but they had work again tomorrow and Piper was tired.
The knowledge of the conversation with her parents - which she still hadn't shared - hung heavy in her heart, and she couldn't decide how best to share it.
"We've discussed your proposal for Christmas, and we think that it sounds fine."
"You do?" Piper couldn't believe her luck.
"Yes! We'll see you on Boxing Day, and we'll have Cal for company on the twenty-fifth itself."
"That's so great. Thank you."
"So we'll pop down this weekend to see you in the meantime." Her mother continued.
"You'll… What?"
"We'll come down on Friday and stay until Sunday evening. It'll be just like when we used to visit you and Polly at university."
Alex had been following the path of her clavicle with her mouth for several seconds now, and Piper knew she'd have to share the news before they moved onto anything else.
She was already too much in her own head about it.
Piper took a deep breath in. "I have good news and bad news."
Her fingers trailed across Alex's back in the dark, and Alex paused her kisses.
"You have terrible timing," Alex muttered begrudgingly, mouth inches from Piper's neck. "But go ahead."
Piper took a deep breath in before continuing. "My parents are coming to stay this weekend."
Alex barely concealed a low groan in reply. "Just so you know, this is not the way to get laid. Unexpected parental visits is not one of my kinks."
"You sound like Nicky."
"And you sound like a white Anglo Saxon Protestant who's altogether too amenable to Mommy and Daddy." Alex bit back, sharper than she'd intended.
There was a pause, and in the dim light of their bedroom, Alex watched a number of emotions flit across Piper's features.
She was still propped up on her arms over Piper, the muscles in her biceps aching.
She could move away, but then it would seem like she was angry.
That said, her most recent statement had probably conveyed that message anyway.
"I…"
"I'm sorry. That was," She paused, reluctant to admit she was at fault, but guilty nonetheless. "I was mean. I didn't -"
"No, you're right." Piper sighed.
"I was an asshole."
"You can still be right." Her eyes shone in the dark, and Alex pressed a soft kiss to her lips.
"I said that because I'm uncomfortable. I'm nervous. I don't like people like your parents."
"You don't need to."
"But they're your parents."
Piper ran soft palms down Alex's sides. They were naked together, which was usually her favourite place to be. Tonight wasn't as enjoyable.
"What do you want to do?" She asked gently.
"What do you mean?" Alex rolled onto her side, leg still draped across Piper's body.
"They don't know about us yet." Alex released a huff of breath, saying nothing. Piper hesitated. "If you wanted to cut and run for the weekend, I'd understand. I can tell them when you're not here."
"And leave you to deal with two suburban Republicans by yourself? I'm a dick, but I'm not heartless."
Piper laughed, but it was without mirth. "I can handle my parents. I know this is sudden. I thought we'd have more time before we had to deal with this. It would be great to have your company, but I wouldn't blame you."
Alex hesitated. She should stay. She knew she should stay.
Piper's last statement had made it clear that even Piper would quite like her to stay.
She planted another soft kiss on Piper's cheek, ponderously, deliberately, problem solving.
On the other side of the bed, Piper's phone buzzed, screen illuminating the dark room in the absence of their usual lamplight.
"Hold that thought." The blonde murmured, reaching across to the nightstand where her mobile lay charging.
It was a text from Polly.
22:26
Any news from your parents?
Piper resisted the urge to laugh. Polly somehow always knew when her parents had been in touch.
She typed out a quick explanation and sent it back, all too aware of Alex's stillness in the darkness behind her.
Alex and Polly could at least spend time in the same room now - a significant improvement on their previous time together - but she didn't like the thought of leaving Alex unattended in favour of Polly, when things were already a little fractious between them.
Polly's response was mercifully swift, but not altogether welcome.
22:31
Jesus. Have you messaged Larry yet?
Oh. She'd forgotten about that part of their agreement.
Returning her phone to its resting place, Piper twisted around in bed, landing nose-to-nose with her girlfriend.
"I think, in hindsight, maybe you shouldn't be around next weekend."
Piper's tone of voice made Alex smirk. This was always her approach to recanting; the truncated vowels, small gestures, exaggerated intonation. Something had clearly made her think twice about Alex attending.
"Why?"
Piper tried to soften the incoming blow by brushing a stray strand of hair from Alex's face, but the brunette wasn't in the least bit fooled. "Promise not to be mad?"
"What is this, kindergarten?"
Piper emitted a slack line of a feeble laugh, all knotted with insecurity and tangled in nerves. "Did I ever tell you about Larry?"
"She's invited her ex? To meet your parents? Next weekend? Here?"
"Yeah Nicky, just keep repeating it." Alex looked up from where she lay on the sofa, eyes closed. "That's bound to make it better."
"Sorry, stretch. Straight chicks are weird, right?"
Piper was out with Polly, discussing their soap business - which, while Alex was all for a start-up company, still struck her as odd - over dinner and drinks.
They had been at work all day and neither had really had time to discuss the finite details of Piper's arrangement for next weekend, or the fact that for some reason her ex-boyfriend Barry - or Gary? - had to be involved, so she appreciated this opportunity to mull it over now.
"Hey," Alex swivelled her legs off the edge of the sofa and sat up, eyeing Nicky across the room. "You wanna get high?"
"Eh, I can't." Nicky shrugged a little reluctantly. "Morello's coming over, and I think I'd rather be not stoned for this."
"That's fair. How are things?"
"Hard to say. When it's just us, things are," Nicky paused to mime a variety of sexual activities, which frankly Alex had not needed to see. "But when other people are around, it's like she wants nothing to do with me."
"Shit, I'm sorry. But this proves you were right."
Nicky lit up: Alex never conceded victory. "About what?"
Alex shrugged, returning to her previously prone position on the sofa. "Straight chicks are weird."
The days passed by far more swiftly than either of the women had anticipated, and before they knew where they were, Thursday night had arrived, unprompted and unwelcome.
Their evenings during the week had been largely occupied by swathes of marking, and Alex often had to sequester herself away from Nicky and Piper to prevent distractions. This enforced separation hadn't aided the discomfort still present between she and her girlfriend; Alex continued to be prickled by the concept of Piper spending Friday's dinner with her ex, and Piper was preemptively tense about her parents arriving.
The whole thing felt like a shitshow before they'd even begun.
It was easily 11pm before Piper eventually folded away her books and papers, sighing as she said goodnight to Nicky, who had been studying the pages of a copy of 'Brazzers' from 1972 in an alarming amount of detail.
Climbing the stairs, she found Alex asleep at the small table in their room, desk lamp crowding over her and hair mussed by the essays she was napping on.
"Baby?" Piper ventured, shifting the work she carried uneasily.
The brunette remained motionless, the only sign of life being the soft rise and fall of her shoulders with each breath she took.
"Al. Alex."
Piper dumped her documents on the bed and laid a soft hand on her girlfriend's shoulder.
"Alex, come on."
Alex stirred, words slurred and groggy as she mumbled Piper's name.
"It's time for bed, you've been asleep at your desk."
"Did I drool?"
Piper was nonplussed. "What?"
"Did I drool. On the work."
Alex managed to gain enough composure to inspect the sheets in front of her, and Piper leant in to do the same. She could smell Alex's shampoo, the fabric conditioner coming from Alex's shirt, and was reminded in an instant how much she loved the woman in front of her.
"I think you're in the clear." She murmured reassuringly over Alex's shoulder, watching as the brunette pushed her glasses up to rub her eyes.
"'M so tired."
"I know. Want to go straight to bed?"
Alex rose to her feet unsteadily, still sleepy. "No. I need to shower first."
"Want a hand?"
Alex nodded slowly, shedding her clothes one by one as she trailed out of their bedroom door in the direction of the large shared bathroom.
Piper grabbed Alex's towel from the floor - where she'd discarded it that morning, late to leave the house - and headed after her.
She found her girlfriend standing nude in front of the shower cubicle, steam pooling around her ankles as she watched the hot water fall into the tray, swirling around the plug hole.
Alex stepped forward gingerly, the spray hitting her pale skin like the worst torrential rain, the warmth beckoning sleep and safety.
She drew the glass door closed behind her, before seemingly reconsidering and reopening it, stretching a dripping hand out to Piper.
"C'mere."
Piper dumped the towel and stripped, eyes affixed on the small puddle forming on the floor below Alex's proffered palm.
She reached the shower and paused. "Are you sure?"
They'd barely kissed all week, spooning in bed out of habit rather than conscious decision, and Piper didn't want to overstep anything.
There was no frostiness between them, but their own insecurities seemed to have formed a rift rather than a bridge.
"Please just get in the shower." Alex sounded impatient rather than frustrated.
Piper bowed her head, smile hidden by the curtain of her hair, and took the proffered hand.
"I'm sorry if I've been distant." The older woman mumbled as she pulled Piper in, placing her long arms over each of Piper's shoulders, fingers trailing across her shoulder blades.
"Me too."
"And…" Alex looked up at her then. "It bothers me, Larry coming to dinner with your parents. It bothers me that they've met him as your boyfriend, and now as your ex-boyfriend, and they haven't met me at all."
"I'm sorry, I know it can't feel great, me dredging up the past. I just feel like I owe Polly for covering for me, and…" Piper's tone shifted to consolatory. "If it helps, he hasn't actually agreed to it yet. I left him a voicemail and he hasn't called back. And you can still come to dinner. If you want to, that is."
Alex splashed her toes a little in the water pooling around their feet, and shook her head. "You said it yourself - I'm not sure how good an idea it is for me to be there when you break the news."
Piper shifted her weight uncomfortably. "I didn't say that."
"Maybe not in so many words, but it's true."
They stood in silence for a moment, letting the water wash over them.
"I don't want to hide you. I'm not ashamed of anything."
"I'm not hiding. This is…" Alex hesitated as she sought for the right words. "This is a tactical decision. You know your audience best. Bringing me along would be like you turning up dressed in a rainbow flag with fuck you written on the back." She smoothed some hair way from Piper's face and placed a small kiss where it had been. "And all due respect, but I don't really want to get caught up in some coming-out crisis. I've been that girl too many times."
Piper's curiosity piqued, as it was wont to do. "What do you mean?"
Alex laughed, their old easy familiarity returning in a way that warmed Piper's heart. "Depends how long you want to stay in the shower."
Piper placed a warm hand on the back of Alex's neck and tugged her closer for a kiss. "As long as it takes."
Sliding her other arm around Alex's waist, she took a bold step forward, pressing Alex back again the cold tiles.
Alex gasped, but held still, challenge glinting in her gaze.
She could remember their first time in this shower, so very similar and yet somehow so different, and how nervous they'd both been about getting everything right.
They had gotten so much wrong since, but with Piper she felt safe to make mistakes.
Placing her hands on Piper's hips, Alex pulled her girlfriend closer, bridging the gap between them. "I thought we were done bringing up exes."
"This is a story I'm happy to make an exception for." Piper's voice had dropped an octave, eyes bright and determined.
"Deal."
All too aware of the slippy surface beneath them, Alex turned swiftly, reversing their positions, pressing Piper's chest flush against the wall and moving to stand behind her.
Piper made a noise of surprise, followed swiftly by a moan, as Alex took each of Piper's wrists in her hands and pressed them against the cold ceramic either side of her head.
Piper leaned into Alex's touch longingly, a brief flash of nostalgia washing over her as she fondly remembered the silk ties attached to their bedposts, with which she had become well acquainted in their early days of dating.
"I'll tell you the story…" Piper could hear Alex smirking, the brunette's thumbs applying the gentlest of pressure into the tip of her radius bones, holding her in place. "... If you can stay still."
"Deal." Piper echoed Alex's earlier declarative all-too confidently, her breath catching as Alex reached between her legs, brushing against her heat.
"When I was nineteen," Alex began, fingers ghosting across Piper's clit. "I dated a college girl for a month."
Piper moaned and bucked back into Alex. "Fuck."
"Ssh." Alex placed her free hand squarely over Piper's mouth and increased her pace. "Don't interrupt."
Piper wanted to laugh at the mischievousness in Alex's tone, but the speed of Alex's fingers cancelled out much of her conscious thought.
She zoned in on Alex's voice, the way she could hear her smile curling at the corners, and considered nineteen-year-old Alex instead.
"This college girl was majoring in anthropology. I guess that should've been my first clue that things weren't quite right." Alex joked. She began to slide her index and middle finger firmly either side of Piper's clit, stroking it until she could feel Piper's muffled curses hit the palm of her other hand. "She invited me back to her place one night. It was a big red brick - looked like a sorority house but it was miles from campus. That was my second clue."
Piper closed her eyes and tilted her head back, resting it on Alex's shoulder.
She could feel a tingling beginning in her toes, and pressed her wrists hard against the tiles in a desperate effort to stay still as Alex had instructed.
"It was dead when we arrived, completely empty. Everything inside was like a white middle class heaven." Alex continued, as though they were anywhere other than here. She slid one digit, and then two, inside of Piper, who was breathing hard against Alex's hand as she was fucked slowly and steadily, hips rolling back a little further each time to chase the pleasure.
She loved the feeling of Alex inside her her, and this was no exception. Each curl of Alex's fingers or the twist of her wrist made her tremble, and she found that she had to tamp down the urge to beg.
"We started making out on this fucking ugly green leather chaise longue as the sun set. About a half hour passed before she asked me to go down on her. She tasted a little like you," Alex paused, moving her fingers from between Piper's legs and slipping them into Piper's waiting mouth. "But nowhere near as good."
Piper set free another long, exhaled fuck around Alex's digits, sucking the length of each in a way that made Alex gasp in her ear.
She could taste herself - salt, sweet, slick - and was so distracted that she almost missed Alex's movements behind her, as Alex slid the hand now unoccupied by Piper's mouth between her thighs once more.
There was no hesitation this time; Alex nudged Piper's feet further apart and pressed the tips of three fingers into Piper's heated entrance, filling her slowly until Piper's knees were weak, legs trembling, the slow stretch burning but so, so good..
"A while passed and I heard a car on the drive. She got louder - clue number three - and I heard someone opening the front door. I kept going - she said she was coming, so I wasn't going to stop - and then someone walked into the room."
Piper's breath hitched as Alex slid into her up to the knuckle, her other hand curling around Piper's abdomen to stroke her clit.
Alex knew she couldn't come from penetration alone, and the fingers she danced across Piper's clit proved just how well she had learned the younger woman's intricacies.
"Harder Alex, please, fuck…"
The palms Piper had kept so precariously placed against the tiles began to curl into fists, and she felt Alex's breath hot against her neck, exertion forcing the air from both of them.
She could hear the sound of Alex fucking her over the rush of the shower, the steam from the water forming beads of sweat that ran down her back and onto Alex's chest, their bodies flush against one another.
"C'mon Pipes, come for me."
Alex's teeth nipped her earlobe and Piper felt stars explode behind her eyes, peaking suddenly.
Her legs trembled as she fought to stay upright, a shuddering exhalation rushing from her lungs.
She leaned into the feeling, everything so hot and bright before she eventually started to come back down.
Her head hung forward, forehead coming to rest against the cold tiles as Alex wrapped both arms around her, holding her in place until she recovered.
"What happened?" Piper asked, hoarsely.
"You came, kid." Alex chuckled. "Did you black out?"
"No, in the story." She was breathless, but pushed through regardless. "Who walked in?"
"Oh. It was her Dad. She came as he opened the door."
"Shit." It was Piper's turn to laugh, although it seemed to take all of her effort to do so. With more help from Alex than she'd like to admit, Piper turned laboriously to face her girlfriend, leaning against her as she waiting for the feeling to return to her body. "What then?"
"She pushed me away - and I'd been on my knees so I ended up fucking sprawled on their fancy rug, my jeans around my ankles and my glasses somewhere - and she sat up and said 'Dad, I'm gay.' Then they had a huge argument and I slipped out while they were yelling."
"She used you?"
"'Used' sounds harsh, but," Alex paused, considering. She planted a soft kiss on Piper's lips before she gave her answer. "It wasn't an accident."
"Did you see her again?"
"I had some colleagues around campus so we crossed paths a few times, but it wasn't like I had a mobile to keep in touch with. Facebook didn't exist."
"Mm."
Water pitter-pattered around them and Piper felt peace settle around her shoulders like a shawl.
Things felt better.
Alex looked down to find that the blonde's eyes were closed.
"You want to go to bed? It's late."
"We haven't even showered."
"We showered. We just didn't soap. We can shower in the morning."
"But I'm already wet." Piper pouted, evidently caught between her desire to be clean and her need for sleep.
Alex resisted the urge to question Piper's phrasing and instead grabbed the nearest bottle of shower gel from the stand. The least she could do was help.
Ten minutes later they returned to the bedroom, dry and ready for bed.
Piper scrambled under the sheets, knocking the stack of partially-marked work she'd abandoned earlier onto the floor.
As Alex stooped to gather it up, Piper's attention turned to her mobile, charging on the bedside table.
She had four missed calls, all from Larry Bloom.
"I've got a voicemail." She mumbled, perplexed by Larry's sudden insistence after his initial lack of response.
Tapping the loudspeaker button, she played the message to the room.
"Hey, Piper, it's me, Larry. Larry Bloom. Uhh, I guess you could say I was surprised to get your call. I didn't reply at first because I thought that maybe it had been a mistake and that you were going to call and say that you'd called the wrong Larry, but then you didn't, so…"
"Wow. You dated this guy? And other Larrys too?" Alex teased, but Piper held up a finger to her lips.
"... Things have been going really well for me lately, so it would be good to catch up, like you said in your message. I'm not sure what you meant when you said you had a 'friend' you'd like me to meet, but dinner tomorrow night sounds great. Just let me know where and when and I'll be there. That's all. This is Larry, by the way. Larry Bloo-"
The recording ended abruptly, and silence filled the room.
Piper glanced over at her girlfriend, and to her surprise, Alex was suppressing laughter, eyes affixed on the stack of essays she carried, shoulders heaving with silent mirth.
"What?"
"I'm sorry, who was that on the phone?" Alex looked up nonchalantly, fighting to keep a straight face. "I missed his name. Five times."
"Al -"
"No, it's cute. I think you make him nervous."
"God only knows how you would make him feel."
"Maybe we'll get to find out soon, huh?"
Piper was nonplussed. "I don't understand."
"Well, if he and Polly hit it off…" Alex shrugged, then paused. "Speaking of which, he didn't seem all too clear that you were setting him up. Or that your parents would be there. Did you mention any of that in your voicemail to him?"
"Um…"
Alex pulled an expression of mock horror. "Piper Chapman. Have you purposely mislead him to get something you want? Are you playing this nice boy for your own nefarious ends?"
Alex set down the stack of documents and climbed onto the bed, crawling up towards Piper.
The younger woman held her hands out defensively. "I think playing is a little unfair…"
"No, I think playing is apt. You're playing him like Pan played the goddess Selene in Kerenyi. Playing him like Orpheus played his lyre for Hades in the underworld."
She kept advancing until she was above Piper, hair curtaining their faces as she leaned in for a kiss.
"Wait, am I Orpheus?" Piper paused, pondering. "Does that make you Eurydice?"
"Larry is Eurydice. I'm pretty sure I'm Hades in this analogy."
"I always thought Persephone was kind of sexy."
"Don't go all Anaïs Mitchell on me. You're trying to distract from the fact that you've manipulated this poor boy."
Despite Alex's apparent concern, her grin was Cheshire-cat-esque, and the glint in her eyes told Piper that she didn't dislike it at all.
Alex shifted on the sheets until she was straddling Piper's hips, and Piper took advantage of her girlfriend's freshly-showered nudity to trail her fingers through the soft hair at the apex of Alex's thighs.
Reaching up, she cupped the back of Alex's head and tugged her closer, their lips grazing.
"I agree with you on one thing."
Alex nipped at Piper's bottom lip with her teeth. "What's that?"
"You're definitely Hades."
Elliellie1 - thanks! Here it is. I hope it lived up to expectations.
Pc. . - I know right? S6 was definitely tooth-rotting in places and after the stress of S5 I was totally cool with that.
Rj83 - Thank you. Comment like that encourage me to keep writing! I totally agree about LP, and I do love she and Ms Lyonne together. Anything with either of them, really. I liked Daddy and Daya, but I would've liked to understand Daya's choices a little more clearly. Maybe I just need to rewatch! (Any excuse…)
FFChik - I wrote the "Piper navigates Christmas" chapter over a year ago, and I was just waiting for an opportunity to use it. Here we go… (That chapter, perhaps unsurprisingly, will be out in December.) :)
Baustahlgewebe - baustahlgewebe like the company? That aside, hello, thanks! And yes, I was also happy to see Suzanne having a not-horrendous time, especially with Frieda. I'm always around for Nicky.
- Thanks pal. Much appreciated.
Bubblycalzona - your name makes me so happy, every time I see it. I'm glad you're enjoying this.
Baileytron - mate, just you wait… And thanks. I know we've already discussed this, but writing Red is such a joy. She and Nicky are among my favourites.
