A/N: I never thought I'd hear myself ask this, but is anyone else starting to get tired of all the snow? I love snow, but usually b/c it means I get to stay home from work. Not this year. Boo! It's been an epic year in the snow-fall totals where I live, so I figured that MistletoeWard should have to deal with some of the fall-out as well. More snowy good times (and self-induced troubles) to follow. Hope you enjoy!
Thanks once again to Kaydee1005 for the beta.
Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. However, I have allowed MistletoeWard to say and do a few things in this chapter than she never would have put in her books.
: )
Pic tease: (http) / bit (dot) ly / ghWB6h
Part IV: Baby It's Cold Outside
December 26
The day after Christmas followed much the same pattern as the day before, only without the presents. I'd planned to sleep in, but Bree had other ideas. I was once again rudely awoken when my bed started bouncing. At least this time I wasn't hard.
A glance at the clock revealed it was just after nine.
"Dammit, squirt. What are you doing to me?" I groaned at her. "I need my beauty sleep."
She giggled as she flopped down on the bed beside me. "You're a boy, Edward. Boys don't need beauty sleep. That's only for girls."
"I beg to differ," I argued. "And I'm not just a boy—I'm a very good-looking boy." I waggled my eyebrows, causing her to laugh some more. "It requires a lot of sleep to maintain looks as good as mine. In fact, I think I need at least one more hour today."
"But it's snowing again, and I wanna go outside. Mom won't let me until you get up. So… Get up. Now!"
Ah… the exuberance of youth! Sometimes I wished that I still had it, but today? Today I just wanted to sleep. I was still trying to make up for the less-than-restful previous night, and I really wouldn't mind slipping back into the dreams of Bella, which Bree had once again interrupted.
"C'mon, squirt? Just an hour more?" I pleaded.
She scowled. "Nope. No more sleep. Time to get up."
The bed began shimmying again. No, there would definitely be no more sleep this morning. Surrendering to the inevitable, I sighed.
"Fine, fine. I'll be down in a few, okay?"
The bed stopped moving.
"Promise?"
Despite my exasperation with her, the enthusiasm in Bree's voice was infections. A smile twitched at the corner of my lips, and I turned to wink at her.
"Yeah, kid, I promise."
"Yay!" she squealed as she popped off the bed and headed for the door.
Rolling to my back, I shoved my hands into my hair and shook my head in exasperation. But the smile remained, and there was a part of me that was beginning to share in Bree's excitement. It wasn't often that I got to play in the snow, and I did enjoy making my sister happy. Not to mention, it was another opportunity to see Bella.
The things a man will do for love…The smile faded as I shot upright in the bed, fully-fucking-alert. My chest tightened, and suddenly, I found it hard to breathe.
Where the hell had that thought come from? ?
Love
Yes, I loved my sister. I could probably even say that I loved the snow—I did have a blast yesterday. But to include Bella in that list? I shook my head in denial. Hell… it was way too fucking soon to start thinking anything along those lines. We'd shared what? Two kisses?
I flopped back onto the bed with a frustrated huff, allowing my thoughts to wander. I had to admit that I was more than surprised to find myself suddenly attracted to Bella after years of doing my best to avoid her and her annoying crush. Hell… it might be the shock of the fucking century. But love?
No, not yet.
I didn't really know Bella. But now, for the first time in almost four years, the idea of getting to know her, of spending time with her, didn't seem quite so appalling. My body relaxed from the tension that had been holding it captive since the 'L' word had entered my mind. I actually smiled at the thought of getting to know Bella and possibly seeing her again outside.
Suddenly I found myself more than eager to go play in the snow.
~/~
An hour later, Bree and I tumbled out the back door into the gently falling snow. My father had dug out our old toboggan from the basement this morning before he left for work, so we spent a while sliding down the hill in our backyard. Once we tired of that, we made snow angels, then built a snow family for the snowman we had constructed yesterday. By the time we were done, the snowman and snowwoman had two snow children and a snow dog as well. All and all, Bree and I spent several hours playing outside. I'd hoped that Bella would come outside at some point, like she had yesterday, but we never saw her.
What we had seen, however, was a change in the weather.
After being outside for about an hour, the snow started falling faster. The eerie silence that descends when a heavy snow is falling settled around us while we were building the snow family. The only thing we heard was the sounds of our own breaths and our quietly spoken words; the quickly falling snow drowned out all other sounds of nature, isolating us in a chamber of silence that was simultaneously unnerving yet still somehow soothing.
Caught up in the hush of falling snow and companionable silence, Bree and I both jumped at the sound of a loud crack followed shortly thereafter by a booming explosion.
"What was that?" she asked with wide eyes that darted around looking for the source of the blast.
Frowning, I looked around. Eventually, my eyes alighted upon a large tree up the street that had fallen over to the weight of ice and snow that coated its limbs. Unfortunately, it had fallen on the power lines, which were now lying on the ground. The trail of the loose lines led to a smoking transformer. I pointed to them.
"Looks like the power lines up the street just got taken out. Be careful, squirt. Don't go anywhere near those lines, okay? They're really dangerous."
"What would happen?"
"Trust me, you don't want to find out."
"Okay."
We only stayed out for about half an hour longer. Even though the downed lines were more than half a mile away, I didn't like being out there with the potential danger. Not with an inquisitive nine-year-old who had a tendency to get into trouble. As soon as the snow family was assembled, I ushered her back inside.
I guess that I should've expected it, but I didn't. When we finally got inside after shedding all our snow gear in the mud-room, I was surprised to find the house doused in darkness; not a single light or appliance was turned on. Flipping the switch on the wall did nothing.
The power was out.
"Mom?" I shouted.
Her voice drifted up from the basement, so Bree and I headed in that direction. Once we descended the steps, we found her curled up with a magazine in a chair next to the Franklin stove that my father had stoked yesterday morning. Candles lit the room, surrounding her in a warm glow.
"Hey guys! Have fun in the snow?"
I nodded and Bree whooped enthusiastically before flopping down in front of the fireplace to warm her frozen fingers and toes.
"I heard a big boom, right before the power went out. What happened?" she asked.
"Power line's down up the street," I informed her. "Looks like that ancient oak in the Stanley's front yard lost a battle with the ice and snow."
A look of chagrin crossed her face. "Oh! What a shame. That was a beautiful, old tree. Supposedly, it dates back to the 1800's."
I rolled my eyes. I loved my mother's sentimentality, but at the moment, I was more concerned with the lack of power than a centuries-old tree. That, and potentially food; it was now close to one o'clock, and I was starved— playing in the snow was hungry work.
"I'm more worried about how long it might take the power company to come fix the lines. It's getting nasty outside; the snow's really falling now. The temperature is dropping, so there will be a lot of cold people around here if we don't have power." Not everyone had a fireplace like we did, and of the ones that did, not all had a good supply of firewood. "Besides, I'm hungry."
"Me, too," Bree chirped.
"Well, guys, I can't really cook anything warm for you, but we can do sandwiches, if that's okay."
At this point, I'd take whatever I could get.
Half an hour later, we were all gathered around the fire with sandwiches, fruit, chips and soda, which was great for lunch. But the snow was falling even heavier now than when we'd come in a little while ago, and I doubted that the power would be restored anytime soon.
"What about tonight?" I asked around a mouthful of ham and cheese.
"Hmm?" my mother hummed in question.
"Dinner?"
"Well, Edward, we'll just have to make do. The stove here has a granite cook-top, so we can warm a few things, if necessary. Rough it, like the pioneers, cook over the open flames."
"Ooh! Really?" Bree asked. When my mother nodded, she exclaimed, "Fun!"
"We can start now with the old popcorn popper," Mom suggested. "You want to see if you can find it?"
Bree ran to the storage cabinet and pulled out the ancient-looking hinged pan on a stick. We'd had the thing for years, but had never actually used it. At least, not as it was intended.
"This?" Bree asked.
Mom nodded.
"Oh. Is that what that is?" I asked. "A popcorn popper?"
She shook her head and laughed at me. Then she produced a bag of popcorn, which Bree took in order to fill the pan. It took about ten minutes to pop, and more of it was burned than not, but it kept Bree entertained for a while.
I'd never gone very long without the TV or a computer before. An afternoon with none of the modern conveniences was… trying. After the mostly-failed popcorn experiment, we pulled out a few games, eventually settling on Monopoly. We spent a few hours battling for supremacy on the streets of America, and I'd just erected a hotel on Park Place—signifying the beginning of the end for both of them—when my mother's cell phone chimed. I listened in to her one-sided conversation.
"Hello?"
"Oh, hi, honey. How's work?"
"Hmmm…"
"Us? We're fine. Well, the power's out, so we're all down in the basement."
"Yeah, Edward said the old tree in the Stanley's yard fell on the lines."
"I know, but really, what can we do? We've got the fire, so we'll be okay."
"Playing Monopoly."
"Yes, Edward is kicking our butts, as usual."
She rolled her eyes and smiled at me. I snickered. After the pleasantries, there was a pause in her side of the conversation while she listened to him.
"Hmm, really? We haven't looked in a while. Edward?" she addressed me, placing her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone. "Go peek outside, see how it looks."
I wandered to the window in order to look outside, and when I got there, it was impossible to mask my startled intake of breath. When Bree and I had come inside a few hours back, we had about six inches of snow. There was now almost twice that amount. The entire back yard was blanketed, and the deep ruts we'd cut in the snow with the toboggan earlier in the afternoon were almost indiscernible.
"Whoa… Um, yeah. There's a shitload of snow out there. And it's still coming down."
"Edward! Language!" my mother scolded.
I turned around with a sheepish smile. "Sorry."
But a glance at Bree revealed that I needn't have worried—she was fast asleep beside the fireplace. My mother resumed her conversation with my father.
"Yeah, Edward says that there's a lot of snow out there, and don't forget the downed power lines..."
"Well… yeah, better to stay put, I guess. We'll be fine."
"What?"
"Charlie called you?" Her eyes rose to mine when she mentioned Bella's father. "No answer at the house? Wants us to check on Bella? Sure, I'll have one of the kids run over there in a few minutes."
"Sure thing, hon. Call me later, okay? Love you, too."
"Bye."
She turned to me. "Dad says it's really nasty outside downtown. The city's pretty much shut down—they've closed all the major roadways. He's gonna stay put at the hospital tonight."
I nodded.
"As you probably heard, Charlie called your father. He's not going to be able to get home either, and he hasn't been able to get in touch with Bella for a few hours—she hasn't answered the phone. He'd like for one of us to go check on her, make sure she's alright."
My eyes drifted to Bree, who was now snoring softly in front of the fire. That meant that I would be the ambassador to the Swans. My heart began to pound, pumping adrenaline through my body at a rapid pace, igniting a fire in all of my extremities, and my inner Edward was doing a giant fucking happy dance. I'd been dying for a moment alone with Bella for more than a day, and it appeared as if that opportunity had just been gift-wrapped and tossed in my lap. I clenched my jaw in an attempt to keep from smiling. My mother, misinterpreting the expression, sighed.
"C'mon, Edward. It's just a quick check. You can be nice to Bella for a few minutes, right?"
Fuck, yeah! I could be nice. Well, I take that back… Bella and I had danced around each other all day yesterday, so the thoughts racing through my mind right now were anything but nice. However, I didn't think that she'd object to what I had in mind. My eyes narrowed in contemplation. In fact, considering the way she'd taunted me yesterday, she really had it coming.
My mother sighed again upon seeing my narrowed eyes.
"Edward…"
In some ways, her obvious misinterpretation of my attitude made it easier. I didn't know how I could explain my sudden desire to rush over and check on Bella, which is what I was now rearing to do. Continuing to affect a pseudo-irritated look, I huffed.
"Yes, Mom. I can be nice."
She smiled.
"For a few minutes," I muttered under my breath—but with a wide smile—as I trudged up the stairs to re-don my snow-gear.
"I heard that, Edward!" she yelled after me.
My smile widened, not that she would ever see it.
~/~
Twenty minutes later, I stood on the Swans' doorstep amazed by how much the temperature had dropped in just a few hours. The snow was still falling heavily, and the muffled silence that accompanied it was now bordering on ominous. A heavy expectancy hung in the air, making me feel unsettled. Well, more unsettled than I was already feeling knowing that I was finally getting ready to see Bella. Alone.
My stomach felt as if it was going to drop out of my fucking body when I raised my hand to knock on the door.
Five minutes later, my nervous stomach was still flopping on the ground at my feet, but now, it was anxious for entirely different reasons. I was still standing in the same place in front of the Swans' door, my multiple polite summons unanswered. Beginning to get worried, I pounded more loudly and more insistently. I also started yelling her name as I banged away on the door.
After a particularly loud knock on my part, a thump, followed by a muffled yelp, sounded from inside the house. When the door finally opened, I had no clue what to expect, but it sure as hell wasn't a sleep-rumpled Bella. I'd obviously woken her up. She looked completely disheveled and unexpectedly appealing; her hair was a tangled mess atop her head, and her eyes were only partially open. The large blanket wrapped around her body served as a shroud, concealing her from me and making me wonder what—if anything—she'd been wearing while she slept. The sleepy-eyed image she presented was one of pure innocence, yet overt sexiness at the same time. My traitor heart jumped out of my chest to join my stomach at my fucking feet, and my mouth was suddenly very, very dry.
"Edward?" she yawned.
I was completely fucking lost for words.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
When I still couldn't manage to find any words, she finally rubbed her eyes and looked around.
"Holy crow! Where'd all the snow come from?"
Finally removing my tongue from the roof of my mouth, I managed to speak. Unfortunately, my answer wasn't overly intelligent.
"The sky?"
She rolled her eyes, and claimed, "duh," but she smiled. Then she stepped forward onto the porch. The blanket slipped from her shoulders as she moved.
"Wow!" she exclaimed.
Wow was right.
Once again, I wasn't talking about the fucking snow.
Underneath the blanket, Bella had on an ancient, threadbare Forks PD t-shirt that molded her shoulders and chest like a second skin, making it obvious she wasn't wearing a bra. My eyes were drawn to her breasts, which were tipped by stiffly peaked nipples. Even though I felt my mouth drop open, I couldn't do anything to stop it—or the awareness that suddenly exploded in my groin.
Realizing that I was staring, she yanked the blanket back up, hugging it tightly around her shoulders. Her cheeks flooded with hot color, and she shot me an embarrassed look.
"Damn, it's cold out here," she murmured.
I should have suggested that she step back inside the house, but now that I had seen the promised land, I wasn't capable of conversation. All I could think about was cupping the perfection of her breasts in my hands, which began to fucking tingle in anticipation. I could almost feel them… their weight, their softness. My semi-aware cock responded to the mental image, springing to instant attention, and I groaned in longing as I took a step toward her.
My heavy-lidded and lust-filled eyes lifted to meet her gaze. What I saw there caused my breath to catch in my throat. Her cheeks were once again tinged with heated color, her eyes were huge—oh yeah, she knew exactly what I'd been thinking—and a look of acceptance and… surrender?... flashed from their chocolate depths. As she watched me, she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and her teeth began to worry it, turning it white.
"Bella…" I whispered.
Taking another step forward, I pulled my glove off in order to rub my thumb across her lip, where her teeth had just released it. Bella sucked in a shaky breath, before allowing her eyes to drift shut and slipping her tongue out to slide across my thumb. She sighed in response to her own action. Electric awareness spiraled from my finger, up my arm, and throughout my body, finally exploding into a blaze of absolute need in my abdomen.
Not wanting to waste another fucking second, I slid my hand from her mouth to her hair, urging her forward. As she stumbled into me, my free hand once again settled on her hip, and my lips found hers, ready and waiting, soft and hot and damp from where her tongue had moistened them when she'd licked my thumb. Pushing my tongue into the heaven of her mouth, the taste and scent of strawberries and honey once again surrounded me, inundating all of my senses. Although I was drowning in the sensations—drowning in her—I couldn't get enough; I needed more. More of her.
In a flurry of response, Bella slid her arms around my neck, causing the blanket to fall at her feet. Tugging me closer and opening her mouth, she tentatively stroked my tongue with her own. At that first hesitant contact, the need intensified, curling low in my stomach and radiating outward to reach all of my extremities. My fingers fisted in her hair, tugging impatiently and tipping her head back. I sucked her lower lip into my mouth, and when I ran my tongue against the underside of that silky skin, she gasped.
Then she shivered.
Without breaking the kiss, I stepped forward, urging Bella inside the house and kicking the blanket along with us. Once the door was closed behind me, I leaned back against it, pulling her with me. While my tongue explored the hot recess of her mouth, my hands began to wander the soft contours of her body, sliding from her hip to her waist, drifting up, up, up to brush against the underside of her breasts. When my thumb flicked over one of her nipples, she jerked upright, then slumped into me and a low groan filled the air. I had no fucking idea from which one of us it came.
Pulling her lips from mine with a small moan, she ducked her head into my shoulder and whimpered as my thumb passed over the hardened tip of her nipple. Sliding my hand upward, I cupped her breast with my palm, squeezing gently. Fuck. It felt even better than I'd imagined earlier. And now, her hot, moist breath tickled my neck and seeped beneath the collar of my jacket, warming my chilled skin when she moaned low and long aganst my skin. Her hands fell to my waist, and her fingers dug into my hips—almost painfully—in an attempt to hold herself upright in response to my sensual assault.
I didn't want this to end. I wanted to keep kissing and touching and… feeling… forever. Unfortunately, my time here was limited. After pressing my lips against the top of Bella's head one last time, I let my head fall back against the door. Dropping my hands from her chest to her waist, I held her tightly against me.
We stayed like that for a few minutes, wrapped in each other, panting wildly. Eventually, our breath slowed and our bodies calmed down.
"Um, Edward?"
I reluctantly opened my eyes and looked down her.
"While this was… nice," she paused and looked at me with a tremulous smile, and I had to chuckle at the irony of her words. My mother would be glad to know that Bella thought I was being 'nice' to her. I squeezed her gently before releasing her. She reached down to pick her blanket back up, then continued, "You still haven't told me what you're doing here."
It took me a minute to find my voice, but the answer to her question helped to cool my still-simmering ardor.
"Your dad called my parents. He's been calling you for hours, but hasn't been able to reach you. He wanted us to check on you, make sure you were all right."
"Huh? I never heard the phone ring."
She wandered towards the phone, which sat on the table next to the couch. Her eyes pinched when she lifted the receiver to her ear.
"It's not working."
I smirked. "The power's out, Bella."
"Huh? Really?" She looked around and frowned, finally realizing that no lights were on. "How long's it been out?"
"Most of the afternoon. Did you sleep through it all?" I asked incredulously.
"I guess so," she murmured
"You must sleep like the dead," I teased. "Of course, you didn't hear me knocking, either."
She blushed. "How long had you been knocking?"
The smirk morphed into a genuine, tender smile. "A while."
Her eyes glazed over slightly, and for a moment we just stared at one another. Then she shook her head slightly and turned away to stack the pillows—obviously from her bedroom—into a pile on the couch, adding an old book to the top. She loosely re-wrapped the blanket around herself, but it didn't prevent the shiver I saw race through her body. The fire in their fireplace had burned low, and now, only smoldering embers remained. Even in all my snow-gear, I could tell that it was rather chilly in the room.
As much as I hated to do it, I knew I needed to make a suggestion.
"Bella… Go put some clothes on."
"Huh?"
"While I appreciate the view," I indicated her very visible—and very hard—nipples (she blushed in response, and then tugged the blanket more tightly around herself), "it's cold in here. Go put on something warmer."
"Oh."
"Where's your cell?"
"Upstairs. Why?"
"You need to call your father."
"Oh, yeah…"
But she made no move to go. Instead, she stepped closer to me, and it was all I could fucking do to not pull her back into my arms and resume our frantic make-out session.
"Go," I quietly urged her.
She went. However, she was back in less than five minutes. And she was frowning.
"My phone's still dead. Power must have gone out right after I plugged it in. I need to call Charlie…"
I tugged my phone from my pocket and handed it to her. "Here, use mine."
"Thanks."
She dialed quickly, and for the second time in an hour, I listened to a one-sided conversation.
"Hey, Dad."
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, it's Bella. You got another daughter I don't know about?"
A slight blush tinged her cheeks. "Edward's phone."
"I'm okay. I fell asleep reading, and the power went out, so the land line isn't working right now."
"It was upstairs, but it's dead too."
She rolled her eyes. "Can't charge it without power, Dad."
"Yeah, no power, but I'll be fine; I've got the fire." She eyed it warily. "Well… Kind of. It's dying down now, but I'm sure Edward can get it going again."
Her eyes darted to me. "No, Dad. I don't think that's a good idea."
She frowned. "I said 'no'."
"Charlie..." she practically growled.
The frown turned into a fierce scowl. "Fine."
She turned to me and thrust the phone in my direction. "Here. He wants to talk to you."
"Hey, Chief," I spoke into the phone.
"Edward," his gravelly voice greeted me. "It's getting nasty outside."
"Yes, sir, it is."
Charlie sighed. "The roads are bad. Really bad. There've been quite a few accidents today caused by people who shouldn't be out anyways, which only makes it worse. Is your dad snowed in at the hospital?"
"Yeah. He called a few minutes ago. Said the roads downtown are all closed, and he can't get out. So, he's staying at the hospital tonight. Probably for the best anyways—that old tree in the Stanley's front yard took out the power lines up the street, so he wouldn't be able to get his car home even if the roads were open."
Bella's brows rose at my words and I nodded at her unspoken question. She padded to the window to look outside. Suddenly, I was more interested in watching Bella watch the snow than talking to her father. He asked another question, but I didn't catch it.
"Huh?"
I think I heard him chuckle. "The fire? Is it still going?"
Tearing my eyes away from Bella, I glanced at the fireplace. Frowning, I answered, "Not really."
"How's the supply of firewood?"
I spotted a small stack of wood. It would probably only last a few hours.
"Not good."
He sighed again and muttered something that sound like, "Knew I should've cut some more this morning." Then he spoke more audibly to me. "How's your family faring?"
"Us? We're fine. We've got the old stove downstairs, so we're camping out down there for the time being."
Just like the lack of power earlier, I should've seen it coming, but I didn't. Therefore, the Chief really caught me off-guard with his next words.
"Looks like I'm going to be stuck down here for a few days, too. It's a mess. Normally, it wouldn't be a problem for Bella to stay home alone, but without any power…" his voice trailed off for a moment, as if he was expecting me to say something. After a shot, yet awkward, silence, he continued, "Well... do you think your mother would mind if Bella stayed with you? At least until I can get home or the power comes back on?"
Did I think that my mother would mind? Hell, no. In fact, now that I thought about it, I was actually a bit surprised that she hadn't suggested it earlier.
"No," I answered honestly. "I think that would be fine, but let me check with her, just to be sure?"
"No problem, Edward. Just call me back and let me know."
"Sure thing, Chief."
After disconnecting from the Chief, I quickly dialed my mother's cell.
"Edward! Where are you? Did you get lost on the way next door?" she scolded. "I was just about to call you."
I rolled my eyes. "You know where I am, Mom…"
"Is Bella okay?"
"She's fine. But you're never gonna believe this…"
"What?" she asked eagerly. So eagerly, in fact, that I suspected she was hoping for some sort of miraculous change in my relationship with Bella. While things between me and Bella really had indeed changed overnight, I wasn't quite ready for that knowledge to go public.
"She's been asleep the entire afternoon. Had no clue the power was out. I actually woke her up, pounding on the door, and let me tell you, that was not a pretty sight."
Bella shot me a dirty look—and the finger—and I struggled not to laugh. Contrary to what I'd just told my mother, I actually thought that it was a absolutely fucking beautiful sight. In an attempt to let her know that I was just joking, I walked to where she was still standing by the window and dropped another kiss on her forehead, mouthing the words, "just joking." She rolled her eyes, but slipped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my chest.
My mother sighed in exasperation. "Oh, Edward."
She'd obviously taken my words at face value, and I chuckled in relief. The humor faded from my voice as I relayed the message I had called to discuss.
"Bella's phone is dead and her fire is about to go out, Mom, so the Chief isn't comfortable with her staying here. Not without power or a phone."
Bella stiffened against me, obviously unaware that this is what her father had in mind. Tilting her head, she looked at me, waiting for my next question, but I didn't even have to ask. My mother beat me to it.
"I'll call Charlie right away and tell him that Bella is welcome to stay with us for a few days."
I sighed, but I didn't know if it was in relief or frustration. "Thanks, Mom," I stated quietly before hanging up the phone.
"What just happened?" Bella asked warily.
I sighed again. "Looks like you're coming to stay with us for a few days."
"What?" she screeched, pulling away from me abruptly. "I'm perfectly fine here."
"Bella…" I admonished. "I have a feeling this weather is going to get worse before it gets better. You can't stay here. You have no power, no phone, and you're about to have no heat."
She took another step back. "But I can't stay with you."
"Why not?"
She started pacing. "Okay… not the right words. I don't want to stay with you."
Her words hit me right in the gut. After years of 'wanting' me, now she didn't? The mixed messages were fucking killing me. I clenched my jaw and gritted out, "Again, why not?"
"It's just… too much, too soon. I'll want to—" She stopped pacing and turned to me with a pointed look. "What are we doing, Edward?"
That was the million dollar question. The one I wasn't ready to think about yet. But Bella was looking at me, expecting an answer. My stomach once again dropped to my feet at her words. My heart couldn't decide whether to stop or race, so it alternated between the two, leaving an uncomfortable ache in my chest.
"I don't know…" I finally admitted.
"Do you like me?" she asked, her voice small and uncertain.
"I think it's obvious that I like you, Bella."
Her back straightened. "No, it's obvious you like kissing me. Liking me is a different matter."
The words left my mouth before I could contain them. "Yes, I like you, Bella. But it's not as simple as that…"
"Yes, it is, Edward."
Shoving my hands into my hair, I sighed in frustration and confusion. Why did everything have to be so fucking complicated? Because it was complicated. I'd spent more than three years avoiding Bella, definitely not liking her. Yet, in the course of one evening, every-fucking-thing had changed. Hell… I had changed. It was like a dirty window had been cleaned, and I was finally able to see the unimaginable beauty that lay on the other side. And now that the window was clean, I had no desire to go back to the way things were.
That said, was I really ready to throw that window open and jump through, embrace what lay beyond as my own? Do the metaphorical cannon-ball off the high diving board?
Fuck…
Realization came slowly. I did like her. Hell… I more than liked her. It was scary and exciting all at the same time. From just a few conversations, I'd learned that Bella and I had a lot in common. Besides, once she started talking, she challenged me in a way that surprised—and excited—me. And the kisses? Holy fucking shit! I'd felt more in those few exchanges than I'd ever experienced before—I felt her in my gut. And lower. There was a connection with Bella that I definitely wanted to explore.
In that moment I knew I'd do that fucking cannon-ball in a heartbeat for Bella. In private. But in front of others—and in this particular case, my mother? I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. I sighed in resignation and opened my eyes to look at her. She was watching me warily. She frowned slightly as I stared at her intently, trying to convey all I was feeling without saying the words:
I want you, I want this…us… but I need some time.
Her shoulders sagged, but she nodded slightly.
"Go pack some stuff, Bella. You can't stay here."
Once again, she went. Five minutes later, she was back, a duffle bag slung over her shoulder. She suited up for the snow, and after locking the front door, we headed out.
It wasn't a long walk, only a couple hundred yards, but the snow had continued to pile up—it was now above my knees, and still falling heavily. Bella was struggling to navigate it. I took her bag, slinging it over my shoulder, and offered her my hand. She hesitated, but eventually slipped her fingers into mine, so that I could help her over the uneven ground. While I had offered my hand in assistance, I was once again struck by how absolutely fucking right it felt to simply hold her hand.
When we arrived at my house, the door was open before we even got to the stairs. My mother was smiling at us, her eyes locked on our clasped hands, which caused me some concern. As soon as we cleared the top step and all danger of falling was gone, I dropped Bella's hand like a hot potato. My mother's smile sagged and I felt Bella frown, felt her disappointment radiating toward me in waves.
As we cleared the door—and while my mother's back was turned—I shot Bella a quick glance, in which I tried to convey a message:
Trust me.
A/N: *Sigh* In some ways, Edward is just as clueless as Esme, isn't he? Men! Argh.
So… What do you all think's gonna happen over the next few days?
A lot of the weather situations in this chapter come from personal experience. In my senior year of HS, a tornado came through our neighborhood the day after Christmas, knocking out power for several days. We lived in the basement, staying warm by the old Franklin stove and eating food we warmed on the granite top. In my freshman year of college, Birmingham AL got hit with a blizzard: 24inches fell overnight, and the transformer that supplied power to our campus blew up while I was outside playing in the snow. We had no power for 3 days and lived on cold tomato soup and sandwiches.
And... it's snowing here, again. 5th time in a month.
Any of you guys got winter weather horror stories?
