To-do list: CatthingShipping, MedievalStoryShipping, IkariShipping, BuizelxPachirisu (how has this one not been named yet? :/ ), RendShipping.


YesWe'reHandsomeShipping Looker & Lance (T)

Standing there in the lofty entrance hall of Indigo Plateau, trying to ignore the stench of dried blood, Looker Handsome considered the scene.

The boy would have been taken by surprise, of course; otherwise he would have at least tried to release a Pokemon to defend himself, even though they had all fainted. As it was, the body was slumped partly against the far wall, splayed out in all directions. Or at least, it had once been a body. Now it was little more than a slick, shredded hunk of meat with bloody, tattered clothing and shattered limbs. Clearly the killer wanted to leave even the nature of the murder itself a mystery.

He could feel several pairs of eyes burning a hole through his back. He tried not to let that distract him. But it was so stressing, being at the center of attention like this … especially with that haughty redhead analyzing him silently, watching him with folded arms.

"Well?" the aforementioned redhead finally asked, tapping his foot impatiently. "Can you at least give us some idea as to what's happened?"

Looker shivered slightly. The commanding tone in that voice was somehow – dare he think it – compellingly attractive. But he forced himself to remain clearheaded, businesslike. The Sinnohan government was paying him for this, after all.

"His trainer ID does confirm him to be Lucas DeMonde," he said, referring to what he had jotted down on his notepad. His voice echoed slightly in the spacious room, and he swallowed nervously. "He had—"

"Speak up, old man!" somebody snapped from behind him. "We can't hear a word you're saying!"

Old man. He sighed, wishing this line of work weren't so strenuous as to draw premature lines on his face and hands. Trying to swallow his pride, he turned around to face the group of people behind him, who, like that handsome redhead, were watching him expectantly. These were the all people who had been in or near the building within the last twenty-four hours; he had requested that they be brought here, because – and this warranted the watchful police officers prowling just outside of their vision – they were the suspects in this gruesome mystery.

"Lucas DeMonde," he repeated, raising his voice a little. "Defeated Sinnoh's Elite Four and Champion. Traveled to here to KanJoh, earned all sixteen badges, headed into this building, and managed to get as far as Champion Lance. And that was the last he was officially seen … alive."

He let that word ring ominously for a moment, watching the suspects shift uncomfortably. At his side, Croagunk was also analyzing them; the others might not know it, but he was very familiar by now with his Pokemon's uncanny ability to detect guilt. Of course, the guilty party would often have a knack for swallowing their regrets, which was why it was up to him to help bring them to the surface. Then Croagunk could identify the murderer, and life could go on.

He could have finished this several minutes ago; it was the presence of that proud caped figure that made him draw this out dramatically. Perhaps even he could be impressed.

"It's an inevitability that he's made several enemies over the course of his career," he continued. "However, no one in this room has even been to Sinnoh, so we can rule out any old grudges being satisfied."

Everyone tensed slightly. He felt a small glow of satisfaction; now they were wondering what else he'd researched before this scene. Well, he'd let them know.

"Most of you came here in order to watch his battles with the Elite Four," he stated. "You were not expecting to do any battling yourselves, and therefore you left most of your Pokemon in storage. The few that you kept with you are incapable of causing damage as extensive as this." He gestured towards the torn-up corpse behind him. "After being defeated by Lance, he was teleported back to this room, where I suspect his attacker was waiting for him."

"Meaning?" Lance asked.

"Meaning that the murderer must be one of the Elite Four."

Hushed murmurs emanated from the civilians as they unconsciously backed away from the Elite Four members, leaving them standing alone in the middle of the room. Lance uttered an indignant cry; trying not to let that sound draw him into an erotic fantasy, Looker examined the reactions from the accused. None of them looked very guilty: three of them were glaring back at him defiantly, while Will continued to single-mindedly fiddle around with his Rubik's cube.

"Any of them, after being defeated, could have sufficient time to heal their Pokemon, return to this room, and wait for Mr. DeMonde's teleportation. Any of them could have used at least one Pokemon to slaughter him in this way. However, I have reason to believe that one of them in particular had a motive for murder. And there is evidence to back it up …"

Silence. Lance watched him, face intent and anticipating. Even Will was looking up from his cube.

"There were three Full Heals in Karen's trashcan," Looker said quietly.

"Liar!" she shrieked, suddenly pointing at him with a dangerously sharp fingernail. "I'd never even set eyes on the brat before! You have no proof of anything."

"Ah, but I do." He reached into his bag, pulling out an ordinary videocassette. "Four straight hours of proof. Specifically, it proves that you … shall we say, seduced him."

Her eyes shot daggers into him. Strange that her hair has already become so frazzled, he mused.

"Afterward, you tried to convince him not to take on the Elite Four … 'tried' being the operative word. And I'm sure the entirety of the continent remembers your interesting comment that you would never, ever give up your position as Elite Four. So – and this is my take on the matter – after you were defeated by him, you used the Full Heals—" He allowed his voice to slowly rise to a crescendo, feeling rather pleased that Lance's full attention was on him. "—doubled back to this room, and waited until everyone had headed off to watch the Championship battle; when he reappeared here, you immediately set your Pokemon on him, mauling him enough to satisfy both your career ambitions and your anger – because he was not attracted to you enough to listen to everything you told him. You then headed straight for the Pokemon Center, because you knew Nurse Joy would be expecting your Pokemon to be bloody after being defeated so soundly!"

Everyone broke out into surprised chatter. Karen stood there frozen for a moment; then with an angry shriek, she reached down for her Poke Balls with lightning speed—

But Croagunk was quicker. For a split second he appeared to be simply a blue blur; then he was withdrawing his glowing hand from Karen's stomach, grinning as she moaned and collapsed to the floor.

"Sir?" one policeman asked Lance, as his comrades converged around the woman.

He nodded, and soon they were dragging her to her feet, snapping on handcuffs as her Poke Balls were confiscated. As they started to lead her away, she glared blearily at Lance.

"At least he was better in bed than you!" she snarled, before vanishing through the doors.

Looker glanced over at Lance. He was surprised – and secretly pleased – to see the redhead's face lose all its color. Then the Champion shrugged it off, setting his face with a hard expression.

"At least I'm not a whore," he remarked. Then he turned to Looker and inclined his head. "I suppose I should offer my thanks, Detective. None of our forces had been able to solve this case … how could you have possibly thought to look in her trashcan?"

"Ah." Looker ran his hand through his hair, feeling rather embarrassed now that this conversation was one-on-one. "I didn't, actually. It was Croagunk's idea." He looked over at the frog, who grinned cheekily back at him. "He tends to poke around at the underbelly of things."

"Interesting. I expect that will go in your report?"

"Naturally. I can't exactly take all the credit for myself. Say …" He gave the redhead a somewhat pleading look. "Would you care to join me for lunch? Perhaps you can look the report over, to see if I've forgotten anything … and possibly to forget the personal side of this issue as well." As soon as he said it he wished he hadn't; if there was anything that could possibly get them started on the wrong foot …

But Lance gave him a small smile and nodded. "If you like. The sooner I can get her off my mind, the better. Now, where are we headed, Mr. Handsome?"

Looker giggled like a little girl. By his side, Croagunk rolled his eyes.