A/N
Arrival.
Was.
AWESOME.
(and brought back my muse)
It was totally worth the wait, I was really surprised we didn't have to wait longer since the first rumors. I mean was it more than a month since that PS3 patch...? Oh well, never mind. I'm not one to talk about waiting *feels guilty*. Would it help if I said a certain apostate *renegade* mage has stolen my heart and all of my free time? My, my. These lines. That VOICE. Nothing like Brandon Keener, of course, but! .
And... I don't usually do this, but I have split this chapter in two, because I have made you wait for it so long :( The next one is all action, so it hopefully shouldn't take as long... enjoy~
And I just noticed all of my breaks were sucked into the Void… damn …
PS. Also, for the purpose of this story the happenings of Arrival haven't yet occurred. It makes more sense, even if the actual thing is supposedly available any time after Horizon... well. I already have an idea! And I was right! Shep's one tough bitch to hold captive xD
PS2. How did you like the last DLC? : )
part 4
in joy and sorrow
I
Two hours may not be enough to form a perfect strategy, but even so, Garrus didn't count them as time wasted. Shepard has left some interesting notes behind, though to be completely honest, he had a little hard time following their... brilliance. She might be a wonderful woman, a charismatic and skilled leader but her notes... well, unlike a certain cabin they were far from being organized. Jumping from one thought to another then to something else entirely, it was hard to catch up with her line of thinking for the most of the time. If he could smile like humans use to, he so certainly would.
(It was just so... Shepard. There was no other word to describe that feeling that swelled up inside of him.)
Still, with some help from EDI, he managed to learn things that could prove useful in the upcoming battle.
Though she did apparently spend a lot of her down time and effort doing research (not the kind they were both supposed to be doing, sadly. Unless... he was missing something here) it seemed to him like a futile cause. No one has ever returned from the jump through the Omega 4 relay, so no amount of planning could prepare them for what awaited them at their destination. Not to mention her own words, no plan survives the contact with an enemy. It was a complete unknown, a suicide run, as they liked to call it. But they were as ready and as determined to make it happen as they ever could be; that was all that mattered right now. That and getting Shepard back.
Without her presence on the ship he felt lost just like before, when she was gone from his life. He thought he would never see her again. For so long, he was sure he wouldn't...
... humans had that funny saying; you never know what you have until you lose it. He found it to be a painfully appropriate one.
He realized so many things when she was gone. But he was also aware of how much he cared for her - even before all of what happened.
He looked up to her for she was his commanding officer, a skilled, brave and charismatic woman who personified most of what Turian culture truly valued. Right up until the moment when someone pissed her off, of course. Then, she was an unstoppable force that no one dared to challenge, less their more popular body parts find themselves in danger of being permanently removed from their hosts. (Well... they of course didn't suffer from a shortage of such fools. There was always someone thinking they could take on a Spectre, the infamous Commander Shepard, and thus make enough money to last their short, purposeless lifetimes. They could as well be lining up to get shot, given the rate of their success.)
He cherished her as one of the few true friends he had made over the years (and now, about the only one left...).
Enjoyed his time with her - the thought that shooting and blowing up random things could be even considered fun never crossed his mind before meeting her. Even without having to be a model Turian this kind of thing seemed to be incredulous to him. But hearing Shepard's carefree laughter when she lost herself in the heat of the battle... it was like she was some form of goddess from the numerous pantheon of galaxy's beliefs... though most probably anyone else would say she was just plain crazy. And she would wholeheartedly agree with them, a smile on her face and a friendly pat on the back.
And maybe a free round in the name of insanity.
With time, he found himself unconsciously observing her strange human customs, his curiosity growing with each moment he spent around her. Her very... unique sense of good and honor... the way she affected those around her, drawing them to her. There was just something about her that touched people.
And even then, when she was gone from his life for these two torturous years he couldn't think about, her spirit kept on inspiring his actions. Kept on hunting him. No matter what he did or how much he tried. There was no day when the thought of her didn't cross his mind...
Where fascination ended and love began was the part hard to tell.
That thought made him pause.
It all began as a way to get rid of some tension... just a... fling, nothing more. But he was just trying to make himself believe in that, wasn't he?
Was love a word too strong...? What else, then? An unhealthy obsession? He was aware many would call it just that, among other more - and less - creative names. Was it too abrupt? Was it wrong? Was what connected them wrong? He didn't feel like some dirty pervert, he didn't have a human fetish, that's for sure. He told her just that, gave her a way out, a way that didn't cost them their friendship. It was a precious thing for him. He felt like mess when she was not around, felt at peace when she was. It could only be it... what else?
But these weren't the thoughts that should bother him right now. Unwilling to fall deeper into them, he felt relieved when EDI's cool and ever monotone voice interrupted his self-inflicted torture "We are fifteen minutes away from hitting the Omega 4 relay, XO Vakarian," right until the second part of her message "Operative Lawson requested your presence in the debriefing room."
"What does she want?" he asked, not even bothering to look at the blue orb from his very important work, weary of whatever the she-devil could want from him. There were few seconds of silence before EDI spoke up again.
"Operative Lawson just wishes for few minutes to talk. She don't appear to be willing to say what about."
Vague as the statement was, he couldn't find a decent enough reason not to hear the Cerberus woman out, hostility notwithstanding. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to Shepard or the crew because he was feeling petty.
"Tell her I'm on my way."
"Of course. Logging you out."
He cast a last gaze at the scattered data pads and the terminal before him, but found no will in himself to go through them once again. There was nothing more hidden in them, no epiphanies, nothing more that he could do besides going forward and into the hell itself.
But his memories didn't seem to be willing to just let him go that easily. The traitorous thoughts coming back to their first conversation on the new Normandy... he remembered, hazily (more from Joker's retelling of the thing than anything else), that Dr Chakwas had to sedate her (not that it really helped much, but the fact stands) and appoint her a babysitter (as such, it was the only time when he felt any positive feelings towards Jacob) because she wouldn't leave the med bay while he was on the verge of dying. How was it fair that he couldn't be there for her now?
They were supposed to go to hell together, she told him that herself. She wanted him at her side. What happened to that promise?
Garrus got up from the seat, harshly, almost making it fall backwards; most likely scaring the little Space Hamster out of its poor life in process. He made his way out of Shepard's quarters and to the elevator, forcefully hitting the (much abused by the looks of it) call button. And now he was frustrated with himself again, with this inability to focus when there was so much at stake; but he could not deny that he was partially glad for an excuse to get the hell out of that depressing room, even if it was thanks to the Cerberus woman. If he will ever have the opportunity, he will make sure that Shepard gets something nice to make it seem less empty. Spirits, he hoped... no, he prayed and begged for a chance to be in her life. For her to be alive...
And again he was saved from his rapidly darkening thoughts by technology, the elevator's green light prompting him to enter. Which he did, gladly.
.
x X x
.
Seeing Miranda Lawson in all her perfect fleshy glory didn't do much to improve his mood. Just the opposite, but he didn't bother to comment on it. Their relations were strained enough as it was already...
"Lawson."
...but that didn't mean that he was supposed to play nice either.
"Officer Vakarian," she replied smoothly, appearing not to be bothered by the warm welcome. She was standing by the table, a safe distance from him, but even so, he could tell there was something... different about her stance. She always made sure to seem perfect and superior in the presence of other people, and if not for Shepard's own words, he would have thought she was a very lifelike A.I., just like the ones Cerberus seemed to love making these days. The thought was quite scary (and funny, if Shepard's sudden attack of mirth when he told her this could be any proof of such). A bit... hesitant? But alas, his instincts happened to fail him before. It could be nothing "as you are already aware, we are about to hit the Omega 4 relay. I still haven't notified The Illusive Man about... what transpired." she hesitated, her voice faltering for a moment, but then she returned to her usual self-assured self "He will be contacting us shortly to get a status update. Am I right to presume that you won't be willing to speak with him yourself?"
"That you are." he replied, though answering the question wasn't really necessary, both of them knew as much. But there was an interesting one to ask now "Why didn't you? I thought you reported everything that happens on this ship personally?"
"I- this was clearly a mistake," the perfect brow twitched in irritation, making him wonder which mistake she was talking about. Miranda wasn't a woman who liked to admit that she was wrong. But neither was Shepard, she just carried herself differently "We shouldn't have left the Normandy completely unprotected, I agree... but we can't predict and prepare for everything. We- are prone to making mistakes." Shepard once said that he ought to wait for lightning to strike her, if Miranda ever admitted so. Apparently she got that one wrong as nothing happened, and the she-devil continued. He felt cheated "And we are not going to make that one again."
"I'm sure Shepard will be pleased to hear this when we find her." he replied dryly, though he knew she was right. They couldn't have predicted what would happen while they were planning on getting wasted / getting some closure / fun before the jump. And yes they won't make that mistake again. He will damn good make sure of that "Was that all, Lawson?"
"Yes," she confirmed, making a vague gesture towards the communication array "I'll speak with The Illusive Man, Officer Vakarian. I'll join you shortly."
He nodded his acknowledgement and left her to deal with her boss. There was nothing she could do or say to him now that would get them into trouble. And there was only one place on this ship that he needed to be in at that moment. It was luckily, for the moment at least, nowhere near her.
"Good timing, we are just about few minutes out." the pilot greeted him, then snickered "I have never thought I'll ever say this, but it's good to see you, Vakarian."
"Let's wait and see if you still feel that way when we make that jump."
Joker laughed "Am I going crazy too, or did Shepard's charming personality finally rub off on you, huh?" he shook his head, his hands never stopping to effortlessly prepare the Normandy for her jump "Never seen that one coming."
"It was bound to happen, eventually."
"Sure it did." Joker smirked then took a deep breath. They could both see the relay steadily gaining in size as they neared, the outside image not yet hidden by the hull's heat shields "Alright let's do this."
"Approaching Omega 4 relay. Everyone stand by." the pilot spoke over the comm, then turned towards his constant companion, grinning "Let's show these sons of bitches what we are made of, EDI!"
"Reaper IFF activated. Signal acknowledged." the A.I. informed, the blue charges enveloping the Normandy "Drive core electrical charge at critical levels."
"Rerouting!"
And they were gone.
A/N
Anonymous Review Reply Time!
PaygeV,
thank you (AND everyone else at that matter) for reading my story, I'm glad you find it enjoyable :)
To be honest, I'm looking forward to that myself. My devious little mind sometimes cooks up the strangest of ideas in the strangest of moments suprising me with seemingly no effort at all. But we will see, we will see... *chuckles evily* There is something interesting going to happen... that much is certain : )
