Be Karkat.

Your lips are touching.

The milk is everywhere.

You feel Sollux's groin grind against yours.

Your pride is being shattered into a million pieces, like this, whatever this is, is a shame party and your pride is the confetti.

This isn't what you want.

This will never be what you want.

You desperately try to break Sollux's grasp, thrashing and kicking and biting.

He holds a lot of strength in his seemingly scrawny body and it has only ever been used against you.

You are done with this bullshit.

You are done with living with someone you fucking hate with your everything.

You are tired of the abuse.

You don't know why your heart sinks so much when Sollux tells you to leave.

He's dead serious.

You've never seen him more serious, eyes hollow and lip bleeding, and it's petrifying.

He bashes you against the wall once more before storming off towards your… his room in an enraged stupor.

Your entire body aches and it's not just from the physical blows.

You don't move.

You don't think you could move, even if you wanted to.

Sollux reemerges fully clothed, keys in hand, and heads for the door.

He doesn't even give you a second glance.

"If you're not gone before I get back, I'll kill you."

And then he's gone, slamming the door behind him.

The sound makes you cringe.

You aren't sure what emotion you are feeling as you start to pack your belongings into your suitcase, but you feel bile at the back of your throat and you think you are going to completely fall apart.

It doesn't take you long to collect your small amount of clothing and your movie collection and few various things, but you still can't help but stall a bit.

You walk through the apartment you have been staying in for the past six months and your stomach twists into knots as you take in the cords and the enormous bookshelves and the nerdy posters and the massive amounts of computer equipment for the last time.

You have fucked up so badly.

Why do you always fuck up so badly?

You hold yourself together as you walk through the front door and lock it behind you.

But when you get to your car, you finally crumble.

You clutch the steering wheel with an iron grip and hunch forward, your entire body trembling.

Hot, salty tears leak freely from your eyes and you squeeze them shut to try to stem the flow.

You wail like an infant.

Your entire being quakes with each shaky, heaving sob.

You have nowhere to go.

Nowhere to run to.

Nowhere.

Kanaya is in Europe with Rose for the next year, partying it up, free of your bullshit.

Terezi lives with Dave, and that ass wipe wants nothing to do with you, and frankly you want nothing to do with him either.

And the rest of them would laugh in your face and simply say, "I told you so."

I told you so.

You've turned out to be just as useless as they've though you are all these years.

You can't get a job.

You can hardly keep up a friendship.

Sollux hates you.

He hates you.

Nobody wants to talk to you.

You have completely fucked up your life and there is close to nothing you can do about it at this point.

You're done.

You're doomed.

There's only one alternative, and you'd rather off yourself before you'd volunteer for that bullshit.

You won't do that.

You will not.

You'd rather live on the streets in a nice cozy cardboard box with food picked from dumpsters than that, because really, come on.

Well…

Okay no.

Maybe it wouldn't be that horrible…

Yes it…

No…

You…

You…

You guess you have no choice.

You can't believe that it's come to this.

You pull your phone out of your pocket and fumble with the buttons, dialing a number you never thought you would have to again.

Fuck.