Author's Note: Uh...I'm addicted to making author's notes even when I have nothing to say. XD Enjoy!

Breaking and Entering


"This is complete nonsense. Xipe, how could you cause such an embarassment? You've probablty gained us some unwanted attention by the humans. Argh!" Angelique hissed, slapping her forehead and rubbing her temples from the 'stress' she seemed to be in for the incident back at the library. As the five Cenobites marched aimlessly accross the streets, still in disguise and unsure of where to go, the princess seemed to find a way to seize this as to lecturing on for Pinhead.

The pin-headed Cenobite, like the others were almost immediately annoyed by her ramblings even if some of them were true.

"Oh will you please hush yourself? This is no time to ramble on such things, now hurry. We must find some way to locate Kirsty." Pinhead snapped viciously, glaring harshly at Angelique in an effort to make certain she would shut up, which did indeed work. Though the demonic princess huffed in fury and folded her arms, she ignored the low sniggerings from the other Cenobites who enjoyed seeing their Master yell at her.

'Well this is a complete foolish mission. Here we are making us look like a bunch of idiots, wandering for some enemy that we don't even know where she's at! Psh. Forget about Cotton's suffering being legendary in Hell! If anything, we're going to be the laughing stock of Hell. This stupidity is going to be legendary even in Hell!' Chatterer grumbled rather loudly in his thoughts, and once again all eyes fell to the Cenobite-in-child-disguise, and if he was able to, would've flushed deeply. None of them had become used to his mental ability of speaking, and it was obvious neither had he since Pinhead was rather grim to discovering what true thoughts came from what he once thought was one of his most 'loyal no-questions-asked' Cenobite.

Seeing as though if Chatterer's comments were going to start some trouble, Female glanced over and made a strong look of to be careful with what he was saying, and the child sighed and nodded in agreement to her. Though at the meer sight of this, Angelique raised a brow in interest, seeing as how odd it was that Chatterer seemed to mostly listen to only Female. How they kept sending stares to one another, she wondered if they were slowly growing attached to one another...

Giggling under her breath, she knew this would perfect to use for the plan she was going to use later on...but just not yet...

After a few moments, the awkward tension between one another calmed, and it then turned to everyone attempting to think of an idea to assist with their current statis, which was basically no clue on what to do next.

'Say...anyone wonder if we were to get personal with Kirsty? As in, like, read her diary or something? See here house?' Chatterer suggested, his mental voice a bit hopeful as the others shrugged at thought, unsure of whether to say it was a good or bad idea. Either or, it was something to think about especially for Pinhead.

"That is, only if we are to learn of her address though." he added in, since though they could easily remember her face in a heartbeat, they had no clue at all just where exactly she lived. So, another awkward silence arose.

"Awkward." Butterball sang, unable to resist and received angry glares from the others who were still mad at him for wandering off and socializing with those teenage girls, since he risked exposing himself- or basically being looked as a pedophile.

"Coming from the Cenobite who just ate a teenage fantasy romance book after finishing it." Angelique spat, and the obese Cenobite lowered his head down to not face her unkind eyes.

"Enough. The both of you and think." Pinhead sharply commanded the two, and they looked away from one another to listen to what he had to say. Still, they felt the need to continue on walking until they stumbled upon a phone booth, and Pinhead stared bewildered.

"Oh my! They've updated technology!" the gasped, surprised and excited like a child as though he had never seen a telephone booth. Female, Chatterer, and Butterball just shrugged since they all had seen phones in their human lifetimes. Angelique however, had never seen phones in her lifetime, so she was tense and suspicious.

"No! Xipe, I don't trust the looks of this piece of..'technology'. Perhaps it could be dangerous." she warned, almost roaring the first word she said and causing Pinhead to stare at her skeptically until he just simply shrugged to ignore her comment. Instead, he stepped inside this phone booth and just was completely lost in marvel.

"Amazing...imagine if one day this phone booth is used as entertainment to do something defying the laws of such supernatural and science fiction, such as...time traveling." he breathed, thinking of such an idea.

Butterball hated to have to be the one to crush Pinhead's dreams when he spoke forth;

"Erm, Master? That's already been done. It's a television show called Doctor Who." he informed, and Pinhead looked like one of those kind of young up and coming artist who have just been turned down for a huge record deal, and his eyes which started to glow a bit dulled back to what they usually were.

"Okay..." he muttered, clearly rather upset. He noticed to the side of the telephone was a brightly yellow colored book that was quitethick, and became rather curious to read it.

'Careful Master. Butterball might prowl it out of your hands if that's another Nightlight book.' Chatterer jokingly warned, as Butterball glared at him and made a 'hmph' noise before folding his arms.

"I'll have you know LITTLE BOY that I for one awould never do such a thing. And secondly, the book is called TWI-LIGHT." he pronounced slowly, inching to the boy's face, only to suddenly have Chatterer be gently pulled away, and instead of him Butterball was looking at Female instead, who wasn't quite happy.

"I'd stop right now if I were you." was all she said, defending Chatterer, and Butterball whimpered like a puppy and was tempted to jump into the arms of Angelique if it weren't for- well, it being Angelique. Chatterer looked and smiled gratefully to Female, as Pinhead was practically zooning through the yellow book.

"Goodness these authors nowadays have no talent. This book has got to be the worst I've ever read. There's absolutely no plot line." he grumbled, as he fumbled through the last pages and angrily slammed to book back down on the small table he had found it in the booth.

"Could be worse I suppose. There could be a four part series publish out told from the point of view of a soulless human teenager female who quickly develops feelings from an unmasculine supernatural being aswell as being caught in unnecessary drama of such strong emotions and foolish battles over her life." Pinhead shrugged, frowning still and sulking his shoulders. As he sighed, Butterball paled to the point where it looked like he was about to throw up scared.

"Uh...Master? That's kinda what Twilight's- nevermind." he trailed off and shook his head, not wanting to take the chance. Besides, he still had some unfinished business to deal with with Female, whom he was still quite angry for her glare to him.

Pinhead, whom had his back turned at the moment glared at the yellow book.

"Pointless plot." he spat, as Angelique came by his side and looked down at the book, furrowed his eyebrows and looked ready to slap Pinhead in the face for his stupidity.

"Fool! This isn't a book, it's an address information book!" she roared, furious about his stupidity- which at the same time the sudden noise of two people bickering in pain was heard. With that, the demon princess turned around to find that Female and Butterball were caught in the middle of a slap fight with Chatterer attempting to hold back Female (though was failing.)

Raising a brow, she coughed loudly to make certain they all heard her.

"Excuse me you pathetic Cenobites, but do you not see this is no time to be foolish?" she asked in a venomous tone, more or less specifically staring at Female when she said 'pathetic Cenobites'. Female gave such a deadly glare back at the princess it was enough to almost make her shudder. Almost.

Butterball and Female then stared at one another, and sighed in surrender, allowing Chatterer to release Female from the grip he had on her tiny waistline. (Angelique was the one with the curvaecous body, but Nikoletta had the tiny thin one. So thin, Chatterer swore he could wrap his arms around her twice.)

"I'm sorry that my book is too awesome for you." Butterball sighed.

"I'm sorry you're too stupid for me to like." Female sighed.

'I suppose this is the closest we're going to get for some sort of an apology then?' Chatterer sighed as well in his thoughts, knowing that getting these two to aplogize was like asking the Nazi and Americans to have a play date together. Both looked to him and nodded, and the boy sighed as they ignored one another and got back to business with Pinhead searching through the book.

"Hm...let's see this address...hm...Doug Bradley...Barbie Wilde...Simon Bamford...Nicholas Vince...Ashley Laurence...no...ah! Here we go, Kirsty Cotton." Pinhead pointed to her name in the address book, with all the other Cenobites coming to his side and looking over to read. Once finished, nearly at the exact same time, all of them grinned eagerly and evilly.


"Um...are you sure about this?" Butterball asked unsure know that he and the others were told of the scheme Pinhead had thought up of as they headed towards Kirsty's house. Upon arriving, it was revealed to be a nice little white house- nothing fancy but something still quite nice. There were no lights on in the house, so it was evident Kirsty wasn't home.

"Trust me, Butterball, I assure you that there can be nothing to disrupt us." Pinhead repeatedly assured. Turning over, he did silently gulp at how high it was to get to the window of Kirsty's room, and sighed.

"Perhaps we'll have to chane our plans a bit. Okay- hm...Chatterer is the lightest, so perhaps if we aim correctly we could throw him to an angel-"

'WHAT?' Chatterer cried, horrifed as he ran behind Female, shivering.

'This Earth is getting to everyone's heads! Quick, Nikoletta! You're the only one who can protect me from that crazy man!' he sobbed, with Female holding him close to her side and she shook her head.

"Throwing each other at the window won't do any good. Master, please. We're Cenobites for Levithian's sake! We could use the chains to tear down the door!" she exclaimed, in one way to defend Chatterer from beind thrown at a window and in another way was surprised to see how no one had thought about using any of their telekinetic abilities to get inside the house.

"Can't we like teleport into places?" Butterball pointed out, but was ignored though since he practically mumbled that. Angelique took note however, to the recently painted front door, stared at it, before suddenly unleashing a fercious kick to tear down the door.

Pinhead gaped as all of a sudden, several dogs from the other houses started to bark loudly.

"Puppy!" Butterball gasped happily, and turned to run off to pet them.

"Butterball no!" Pinhead exclaimed, outstretching his arm for a useless purpose when it was already too late. The obese Cenobite had already ran up to the most unfriendly dog (and ironically the biggest one) and cooed at it.

"Aw...who's a cute n' stupid puppy? Who's a good dog? You are! Yes you are!" he cooed in a strange way as though the dog were stupid. And thanks to his efforts, it was enough to piss off the dog- named 'Killer' on his tag- and to suddenly tackle down Butterball.

"AH! AH! AH! No! No! No! No! Please! I'm not bacon or a bone! AH! HELP!" he yelled, squirming about to break free, though his efforts were useless as the other Cenobites just simply gaped before Chatterer sighed.

'FINE. I'll get him.' he grumbled before the boy stormed off to save the fat Cenobite. After a few moments, somehow Chatterer is able to save Butterball somehow and scare the kid when they both make their silent return.

"What...what did you just do?" Female gaped, surprised and a bit disturbed. Chatterer just shrugged, rather calm and mild about the whole situation of a terrifying dog.

'Eh, I just mooned the dog.' he explained to the pretty Cenobite.

"Oh." was all she could say, blankly staring at him before just shrugging and unsure about what to say as Pinhead attempted to carry on the situation with Angelique kicking down the door by storming up to her frustrated. The princess placed her hands on her hips and showed no fear at all as he roared in fury at her.

"Have you gone mad woman? We are attempting to make a simple unnoticable entrance into her house- NOT destroy it!" Pinhead yelled, waving his arms and flailing them wildly.

Angelique just shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"Are we going in now or what?" was all she said as she started ahead, and not wanting to look foolish Pinhead decided to follow behind her as well as she entered into Kirsty's humble home. The others followed in as well, with them staring around.

'Oh that's pretty.' Chatterer said, about to touch a vase when Female seized his hand suddenly. Startled he turn around to face her as she strongly shook her head for him not to touch it, and he sighed. Lowering their hands down, they had forgotten to let go of their hands- and the two Cenobites stared and blushed before suddenly pulling their hands away. Grinning, it was cut off by al of a sudden the noise of shattering glass, enough to make Pinhead suddenly jump into the arms of Angelique. The princess groaned at his weight, but all four Cenobites turned around to find Butterball in the nearby kitchen, with a smashed cookie jar.

The obese Cenobite grinned. "Sorry, I'm hungry." he said high pitched and nervously. Pinhead groaned and rubbed his forehead, knowing he was going to end up being the one having to clean that up as they started their way up the stairs and entered Kirsty's room, while Butterball decided to stay downstairs and 'nibble' on some of her food in the kitchen.

He opened the fridge, which Butterball swore started to glow like some sort of paradise and grinned.

"Jackpot." he smiled.


Meanwhile...

"Perhaps there could be some sort of a journal found somewhere if we look closely. Careful though, and do not disturb too many of her things or else it will become noticable." Pinhead informed as they searched around her room for some information. Angelique on the other hand, did the complete opposite, from messing up her bed to disorganizing several places.

She hadn't noticed the other Cenobites glaring at her until she heard Pinhead's loud cough and turned, grinning falsely.

"Pardon me- I'm not very excellent with keeping chambers organized." she apologized falsely, but in all honesty she just felt like annoying Kirsty Cotton once she was to later on return home.

Now the others placed themselves in different corners of Kirsty's rather spacey room, with Nikoletta exploring the book shelves and closet, Chatterer looking through her bed and a shelf that was stacked with CD's cases- and much to his curiosity decided to take a few he hadn't exactly looked at the title to save for later- while Pinhead looked through her drawers.

And as he pulled out one, all of a sudden his hands reached for the unthinkable.

A pink, frilly designed bra.

Pinhead gaped, jaw dropping and gasping loudly, as the others heard and turned around. Angelique gasped in mock and shock, frowning angrily as Female stared wide-eyed simply because she knew Angelique would not react well to the sight, and Chatterer's mind instantly bursted into laughter.

'BWA HA HA HA HA! NICE ONE MASTER! AH HA HA HA!' he laughed, and to which since everyone was able to hear his thoughts, Butterball from downstairs heard as well. But obese Cenobite didn't know what they were laughing about as he stuffed his face and looked up.

"ERMG FFG IIP QAZ HURGH JILL KISH MERGA!" he cried, but it was a complete mumble with bits of food flying out of his mouth as he stamped his foot for a temper tantrum.

(Translation: Stop making fun of me behind my back!)

Pinhead couldn't help but feel a bit inappropirate to holding Kirsty Cotton's bra, but with all eyes falling on him, he pretended to drop it to the ground as if sick and danced around on his toes.

"Ugh such filth!" he lied, and immediately Angelique smiled warmly, eagerly agreeing which Chatterer still kept on brawling and Female just stared in complete disgust and surprise.

"I couldn't agree with you anymore Xipe. She is most certainly pure filth." the demonic princess purred in a way of seduction, clinging onto him for a moment before his jolted dancing shoved her off. Eventually, Chatterer's laughter had worn off, and by then Pinhead just felt embarassed. Pale and embarassed, and suddenly ripped off his crystal necklace he still wore for his disguise, and immediately he reverted back to his former Cenobite self.

Deciding that was an order, Female and Chatterer also (regrettingly- they loved having their original skin back) took of their necklaces and they fell back to human form. After a few moments, Angelique followed as well.

"Well?" Angelique questioned impatiently after hearing nothing from Pinhead from a few minutes.

Suddenly, the sound of a car pulling in could be heard, and all four Cenobites froze in terrified fear as they heard the warm laughter of none other than-

Kirsty Cotton.

She was home.

She was coming into the house.

Which they were still in.

"FUCK!" Pinhead cussed in roaring anger, realizing they were no to be easily caught if they didn't make an escape. As they stood around, panicking and unsure of what to do to make an escape, the stomping sounds of Butterball could be heard and the obese Cenobite entered the room with a large armful of all sorts of food, along with the amount of food stuffed in his face.

"KKIFFY QUATTON EH CUUMMON!" Butterball mumbled from all the food in his mouth, along with some being spit out and hitting Angelique's face. The demonic princess growled in steaming hot fury as Pinhead frantically looked around, but there were no other rooms to hide in, no place to run.

Kirsty, meanwhile, had one of the best damn times of her life. Just getting back together with Tiffany, it made her day seem so much more brighter just having fun. She was marveled about herself for how long it had been since she ever had such true fun, and knew for certain she was going to attend that 'Battle of the Bands' with her good friend. She even began to think about all the other friends she had...about getting together just to have some more fun...

She struggled a bit, since she had hit a bar afterwards, since she was a bit drunk. After the resturant, the two women headed over to a bar- in all honesty that's where they had the real 'fun'. Not anything sexual, obviously, but just form laughing at how the both of them could be so stupid when drunk.

But as she started to head to the door- wait. What door? She gasped, mortified to see someone had kicked down the door, and panicked. Though remembering how many other fucked up things she had seen in her life (AKA the Cenobites) she wasn't about to let some pesky thief frighten or get away with anything without receiving a good kick to the ass. Growling, she braced herself as she marched in, keeping tight to defend herself.

"Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no!" Pinhead panicked, as Angelique turned and noticed the one window in the whole room and smirked, before charging out gracefully and jumping out of the window.

"Follow her!" Pinhead whispered, almost fearful as he could hear Kirsty heading up the stairs slowly, and with that Butterball ran out after Angelique jumping through the window and about to freefall as well...

...when halfway through, he got stuck in the window.

Female, Chatterer, and Pinhead gasped at this as Butterball grumbled and panted, trying to squeeze out unsuccessfully, and it became evident that they were going to have to push him out. Pinhead ran forward, and flinching, pushed Butterball's backside, until the effort was enough to send the obese Cenobite flying out the window...

...and to come crashing down on Angelique.

"MMRMMMMRRRRRGH!" the princess shrieked underneath all the layers of fat of Butterball, whom had not noticed he was crushing her. None of the others cared to notice, as Chatterer rushed out as well through the window, followed by Female- whom on the other hand was a bit timid of jumping out at such a height. She dared not to look down, though almost did let out a peep of a scream as she jumped, only to be safely caught in the arms of Chatterer.

Pinhead was the last, and he could see Kirsty's shadow coming up, as he then noticed a purple notebook lying on the floor, partially hidden from the silk sheets of her bed. When Angelique knocked over the covers she knocked over this book as well! Pinhead smirked darkly, seeing as this was his chance and grabbed the notebook before rushing out as well successfully before Kirsty could find anything but a messed up room and an open window.

"SHIT!" Kirsty shrieked, furious with angry tears streaming down her cheeks as she raced downstairs to grab her cell phone and call the cops. Pissed off as she was, she wasn't about to let whoever had been in her house get away with it. She wondered if it was those annoying drop-out drug addicted teenagers were behind this...

"Hello police, someone has just broken into my house." her voice began, trying to sound clear enough without any evidence of her still being a bit drunk.

Meanwhile, the Cenobites hid from the wall safely and unhidden, and Female turned to notice Chatterer whom still held her bridal style from the catch, and once again the two blushed as she set herself down from him, smiling solemnly as Angelique, whom had escaped from being crushed from Butterball nearly shrieked in fury.

"What an embarassment!" she cried as Butterball widened his eyes in realization.

"Wait a minute, don't we have teleportation abilities?" he spoke up, making everyone widen their eyes and groan at their stupidity. Using this to get at least a safe distance away from Kirsty's house, towards a farther part of town Pinhead kept rather quiet.

His hand reached to the pocket in his cassock, which held Kirsty's Cotton notebook. Time for him to personally find out her secrets and-

"There you are!" a voice suddenly called from behind.


Gasp! Who do you think has caught them? What do you think Pinhead will discover in Kirsty's journal? What's Angelique's scheme? What's going on between Female and Chatterer? And what is UP with Butterball's stupidity? So many questions...

Oh, did anybody catch the part with the phone book how the names of the people Pinhead read outloud were the actors of Hellraiser. Doug being the one who plays Pinhead! Barbie plays Female, Nicholas plays Chatterer, Simon plays Butterball, and Ashley plays Kirsty. Didn't have time to find out who plays Angelique- but whoever she is, she did a damn good job in the movie!