Disclaimer: I do not, nor claim to, own the characters of Inuyasha or Naruto. This fanfic does not earn me any monetary profit or recognition. It was written for the simple purpose of entertainment.

A/N: Hey everyone! It's been a while, but I believe I did warn everyone that I had no idea where I was going with this story. I'm sorry! I hope I haven't lost all of you, please continue giving me your support! Without further ado, please Read, Review, and Enjoy!

Special thanks to: Ayjah (yay, thank you!), Gothic Lust (cough-sorry, it's been over a year-cough well would you lookie here! I updated!), 4get me not (I'm glad I made someone happy, don't know how happy you are that you had to wait this long for an update, but hopefully you are somewhat…? haha, anyways, yes, Kagome really should have known better. poor unsuspecting Shika XD), MissyRee (sorry, I'm aware I'm neglecting the periods but it won't let me save with them, your name kept vanishing! anyways, haha, I don't drink milk =3 I won't die if I don't drink milk XD anyways, curry and Lee was my personal favorite too, thanks for reviewing!), Ireina Kurotsuki (POST-ITs! I'm a post-it person =3), Natsumi Tsuchi-Ookami (haha, I don't even know what the next themes will be XD any suggestions?), Kurai Mori (thank you so much for your support! =D I'm totally giddy. and yes, doesn't every girl want a guy that will drug them?! XD sadly, I don't even know what the next theme will be, I mean, see how long it took to…generate…this? but I welcome suggestions!), R ii N G o K ii T S U N e (yes, yes he is), ihaveprobs (yeah, I mourn his fictional-ness too. thank you, I'm trying to keep him in character, hope I've been successful thus far. and SISTERS! I WON'T DIE IF I DON'T DRINK MILK. I'm more of a soy girl myself =3), shippo ayame kiryuu kuran (forgive me but um…which guy? if you're referring to the wayward boyfriend, that would be Inuyasha. I have something of a bias against him, haha), Kagome Lady of Darkness (thanks!), angel19872006 (haha, I don't even know what will happen in the end), and last but not least Pissed Off Irish Chick (thanks!).

L

Lemon

"Man you're an angry drunk," Shikamaru griped as he readjusted the weight (that was thrashing like there was no tomorrow, seriously what the hell is she doing?!) on his shoulder.

He tilted his head to avoid the empty bottle of lemon vodka that would have shattered against his skull.

"No," she giggled and screamed at the top of her lungs (right into his ear, mind you); "I'm the extremely happy kind!"

He winced and muttered, "Yeah…trigger-happy," tossing her into the air to avoid a knee in the face and catching her when she's again reduced to a mass of bubbly laughter.


Her eyes watered and her breathing became labored.

"Spit it out already!" Shikamaru commanded, frantically squeezing her cheeks to make her open her mouth.

Her voice was muffled when she spoke (at least, he hoped she spoke and wasn't in fact choking) and after several seconds of rapid chewing, she swallowed and gasped for air.

"What do you think? Best lemon you ever tasted right?" the grocer asked proudly.

Kagome made a face and Shikamaru steered her promptly away when the grocer started to peel another of the citrusy fruits for her to sample.

"But I want to buy some!" she wheezed as he pushed her forward.

"WHY," he ground out, hands on her shoulders to keep her in front of him (in his line of sight where she can't run away to accept everything people try to sell her).

"They're really sour, but I think they'll go really well with the beef stir-fry we're having tonight."

If anything, her words made him redouble his efforts to lead her to another section of the market (her stomach can thank him later).


"Just hold your nose and drink it!" Kagome snapped, shoving the steaming mug towards him.

"I said I'll drink it later!" Shikamaru roared back, pushing it away.

"NO YOU WON'T!" the young woman screeched and practically leaped on top of him (how she didn't spill the cup's contents, he will never know; she has more balance than a kunoichi, he swears it).

Kagome tried to force the scalding concoction into his mouth but he kept his lips tightly pursed and turned away.

"Stop acting like it'll kill you; it's just tea, with honey and lemon!"

"'JUST' she says," mocked the shinobi, "Knowing you, there'll be cayenne pepper and butter somewhere in there too."

"But it'll help you recover! Do you like being sick?!" she protested and his eyes bulged at her confirmation (he struggled even harder to escape from under her).


"So…how's it going?"

Shikamaru didn't like her tone of voice and shied away warily.

She grinned smugly, like a predator that knew its prey was cornered, and drummed her fingers against the counter.

"Well…?"

"Everything's good," he said carefully.

"Uh-huh," the blonde deadpanned and studied him suspiciously, "It's her birthday and you forgot, didn't you?"

"What are you talking about?!" he demanded, glaring defensively.

"My bad," Ino smirked, "you just finally realized that yellow scarf you bought her yesterday would make her look like a moldy lemon, right? Especially with her skin tone, she'll practically glow. I trust you haven't given it to her yet?"

"Stalking now, are we?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

The glee in her demeanor was unmistakable.

"Well, if you would've introduced us…but whatever. I'll meet her soon enough. No helping it, seems like I'll have to save your sorry behind again," she sighed grandly, shrugging out of her apron, "Don't worry, I will fix everything."

"I don't need your—"

"And in exchange, you will of course tell me everything that you've been keeping secret from our poor, unsuspecting village," she continued brightly, grabbing her purse.

"Like hell I would—"

"So that yours truly can, of course, be the first to know and spread your joy to all our friends as we patiently await your little super babies," she practically sang, dragging a gaping Shikamaru out the door, "We deserve to know if the village will be overrun by your genius spawn. You see, we need to start saving if we are going to spoil them silly behind your back."

"Super babies?!" he sputtered, digging his heels into the ground, "What are you—"

"Keeping some innocent girl drugged and confined to your home? I expected better of you, but I've always wanted to be a godmother," Ino chirped, inwardly exploding from mirth at the expression on her friend's face.

"We're just friends!" he growled.

"Sure you are," she acquiesced though she clearly still believed otherwise.

Never again, he swore, don't ask for her help ever again. Ever.


Kagome's eyes widened.

"I hate you," she wailed.

"Of course you do," Shikamaru waved the comment off absentmindedly, circling some wrong answers on the exam he was grading with a thick red marker.

Kagome continued whining from the kitchen, perched atop three chairs situated precariously on the counter as she failed (repeatedly) to reach the (lemon-pulp-splattered) ceiling with her washcloth.

"Who makes lemonade with a blender anyway?! And why'd you have to forget to put the top on?!"


His mom somehow (Ino, he thought viciously) learned of Kagome living with him and he received an earful about respecting a woman and her privacy (and "why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend?! Nara Shikamaru, what have you been doing?! I thought we raised you better! If I have to hear about my grandchildren from weeping in-laws I swear I'll have your head! Wait, you two didn't elope already, did you?!" It took three hours, two pots of tea, four angry neighbors, and a very hoarse throat from screaming to convince her that "We're just friends, you troublesome woman! Why the hell won't you ever listen to me?!" Which, of course, set her off again: "Is that any way to speak to your mother?! And I'd listen if you would stop keeping things from me! What kind of son are you?!").

"ESPECIALLY," she'd exclaimed, red-faced and out of breath after having gone (way) off tangent in her discussion with Shikamaru, "when she feels particularly bad every month."

Shikamaru glowered and had almost succeeded in walking away with an "I get it already, how old do you think I am?!" when a hand from behind clenched around his collar to stop him, nearly cutting off his air supply in the process.

"Why don't you try it then?" she asked, voice oddly sweet and the young man thought she seriously might kill him then, "You'll understand how much we put up with."

He was utterly unprepared (prepared to have a finger chopped off maybe, but this? no). The shinobi inspected the package in his hand, filled to the brim and near bursting with withered brown strips of…something, lightly dusted with sugar.

"Candied lemon peels," Yoshino informed him matter-of-factly, piling a couple more bags into his hands, "I made your father do this too, back in our days."

That in itself rather scared Shikamaru but no amount of resistance could get her to take the blasted things back.

"You haven't had lunch yet, right? You're on an empty stomach? Good. Finish all this off by tonight. You can't eat anything else!" his mother paused and smiled (he shivered), "I'll know if you cheat on this, you hear?"

She sent him off with an "Invite her over here for tea sometime!" and a mouthful of the dried citrus.

("What were you thinking?!" Kagome scolded that night, rubbing a warm soothing hand in gentle circles against the lower back of her friend, who was curled into a rather pathetic ball in her lap, "You could have burnt a hole through your stomach!"

Old witch, thought Shikmaru as he gulped down whatever Kagome placed by his lips, feeling like he might vomit all over the floor at any given second and jerking when a particularly painful jolt spiked through his abdomen.)


There's lemon meringue pie for dessert but when Shikamaru asked if she'd made it, she said she didn't.

Not from scratch, anyway (she'd bought the crust, but did the rest herself).

And while he's not completely satisfied with the answer, he'll accept it for now and smiled at her as he patted her head (ignoring the indignant pout she flashed up at him).