Chapter 4
It was nearly midnight and her stomach was grumbling. She hadn't been able to sleep and now she felt as if she were starving. Maybe she shouldn't have skipped lunch or picked at her dinner. No matter, she could probably conjure up a snack. On second thought, she could use a little walk. Perhaps she'd go to the kitchens herself and find something to eat.
Minerva didn't know why but she felt so inclined to take this little walk of hers that she only bothered with one of her emerald robes and nothing more. She walked barefoot along the halls with her black hair flowing down her back, her emerald robe covering her lavender nightgown and her eyes sparkling from the glow of the hanging lanterns as she passed corridor to corridor. When she got to the kitchen, Minerva cut a piece of bread, grabbed an apple, and a bit of cheese and continued on her walk. She was quite pleased to not have run into anyone. She couldn't put her finger on what was making her so restless but she walked the halls without any direction, climbing stairs and passing doors. She nibbled as she walked aimlessly until she came upon a stairwell she knew all too well.
Why had she come here? This place that had so many recent nightmares? She ascended the steps carefully, unsure of what was driving her and unsure of what made he want to hold back.
When she reached the top of the astronomy tour, tears flooded her face.
"Oh Albus," she said softly, "why did it have to be this way?"
"I've asked myself that very thing every night since I woke from my coma. Why? Why him and not me?" Severus spoke up from his place at the dark corner, his voice soft and daunting.
"You startled me, Severus," Minerva said, wrapping her robe around her more tightly.
"My apologies."
"You mustn't torture yourself, so" Minerva rose and came to him. Severus felt inclined to meet her half way, and there under nothing but stars, moonlight, and bad memories, he found her more beautiful than ever before. He was startled by this revelation but said nothing as she continued to speak.
"Albus trusted you. This is the way he felt it had to be, so it must be the only way," she assured him softly, her Gryffindor bravery welling up so that she felt she could look deep into his dark raven eyes. In this light he looked glorious. The moonlight shone making his face look paled and dreamy, his eyes look mystical, and his black ebony hair glistened in reflection to the twinkling stars above them. Butterflies arose in her stomach and though she would never know what possessed her to do so, she found herself reaching with her right hand to gently stroke his cheek.
"What brought you here, Minerva?" he asked her softly. He found her beauty haunting in this graveyard of bad memories. He almost couldn't bear to look at her, but he also couldn't bear to look away.
"I…I don't know, to be honest. I went for a snack and felt like a walk. My feet led me here. What about you? Do you always come here?"
He sighed, "Only just recently," he admitted, "have I felt called to come here and remember my friend and the sacrifices he made."
"Sacrifices you also made," Minerva reminded him, dropping her hand gently to her side.
"I wish there had been another way. I should not have been spared for his life to be lost."
"In war loses are necessary," she said sadly, "I'm thankful one of you made it out alive."
"But you'd prefer if it were him."
Minerva didn't agree to disagree, only remained in a silent reverie and Severus nodded, "It's okay. I, too, prefer he'd been spared."
"It wasn't possible, Severus and we mustn't dwell on it. I am thankful you, however, were spared."
"And for what reason? Have I ever made your life easier with my presence?" Severus sneered.
Minerva couldn't help but released a chuckle and even Severus had to smile when he heard it.
"I suppose not," she admitted causing them both to laugh in a riot, "but it nice to see you looking so well. After all, who would I torture by awarding Gryffindor's so many points."
Severus let out an amused chortle, "So I see. I have no idea. And who would I torture by deducting those cherished old things?"
"Oh only the students," Minerva said with an amused smile, "the only thing I relish in more is beating your arse on the quittich field."
Severus nodded thoughtfully, "I see. Who wouldn't relish something that occurs so sparingly?"
Minerva felt fire under her cheeks arise until she saw a wicked little glint in the eyes of one Severus Snape.
"You devil," she accused, "well get your jokes in now, Severus, soon we shall see who has the last laugh."
Severus thought she was adorable. He didn't know what had taken over him since his coma, but he could not get Minerva McGonagall out of his head. When he put a little more thought of it, he had found her incredibly sexy during their duel.
"I better go to bed," Minerva said softly, breaking the silence that had encumbered both of them.
Severus looked at her now, "Shall I walk you to your door, Headmistress?"
Minerva offered him a contrite little smirk but shook her head, "No, thank you, Professor Snape. I found my way here, and I shall find my way back. Thank you."
"As you wish."
"If you're going to stay up here much longer, I'll leave you the apple, shall I? In case you get hungry."
Severus nodded and watched as she turned and left the tower, leaving as promised, the red apple shining in the moonlight just a few feet away.
"Albus?" he asked softly, "what has come over me?"
Severus hadn't much been one to believe in God, and if he did he felt they had a bone to pick. Talking to Albus, the wisest man he'd ever known seemed like a much better bet. Better company as well.
Severus took a seat on the bench that the apple was on and began turning the fruit in his hand thoughtfully. He hadn't felt any twinge of emotion for anyone since Lily and it frightened him that he found himself feeling anything now. It frightened him even more that the found himself attracted to his old school teacher that had frightened the living day lights out of him when he was her pupil. Unintentionally of course, though who could honestly know for sure? Minerva was so prim and strict that it seemed she enjoyed evoking punishment upon her students almost as much as he himself did. This was curious, but Severus didn't delve too deep into this one. She would've been an excellent Death Eater, he thought with amusement, she'd have kept them all in line, including the Dark Lord himself. What would Lily have thought of all this?
Severus hadn't allowed himself to think of Lily Evans since the night he confessed to her son, the night of the attack by Nagini. He did have brief moments of her here and there, but he never dawdled long. It hurt too much. Realization slapped Severus in the face, Lily would be approving. She may've poked him in the ribs and teased about that he had a crush on their old teacher, but she'd approve. She'd be happy for him for moving on.
Moving on? Is that what he was doing? He didn't know if he could do such a thing. Suddenly he felt the need to see her only son. Face-to-face. He wouldn't cop out and send another owl like he had to thank the boy. No, he would see Harry Potter in person. It wasn't like talking to Lily, but maybe somehow the boy would have an answer for him. Severus took a bite of the apple in his hand, tomorrow he decided. Tomorrow he would have an answer.
