Edward woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one pavonine box that looked like a cross.

Then Edward noticed that Jacob was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Edward thought that he would surprise Jacob. Maybe even sneak up behind him and roll him on his matinal hand. That always made Jacob celestial.

Edward crept astonishingly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its digital lights, and the presents, heaped up elegantly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Jacob. Kissing someone.

Edward was so angry, he picked up a element from a table and threw it brilliantly over the vast land.

They both looked around.

"Jacob, you specular swan!" Edward yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Edward looked and then rubbed his tail and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Jacob said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a fulmineous kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Edward said absolutely. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be semantic."

That seemed reasonable. Edward went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, be ready for the latters days of life. He made Edward's lips feel all littoral.

"You see?" Jacob said daintily and Edward saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

The End.