~ Day Four: Howls ~

You and I'll Be Safe and Sound

Summary: Short snippets of Katniss and Peeta's life after the war. Pre-epilogue. Canon.


There isn't much someone can do when they've lost the will to live.

She certainly has.

Her father, blown to bits in a mining explosion.

Her sister, blasted to smithereens in the war, just as another tool to use, another piece in the games.

Her mother, suffering too much to return to life.

Peeta, mentally unstable and sometimes still wanting her dead.

Even her best friend is gone.

What is there left to live for?

She loses all motivation. She has finds no point in eating or drinking, and the only time she feels like climbing out of bed is to use the bathroom.

For the first time ever, she has lost the will to stay alive.

Sae is here, of course, occasionally being able to coax her into eating something, but mostly lets her keep to herself. And although she appreciates Sae's company and understands her good intentions, she has never felt so isolated and distant.

Never before has she wanted human company for comfort so much.

She hates herself for it, and scolds herself for being so naive and dependent, but she wants nothing more than for someone to hold her and whisper in her ear that everything will be okay.

But that's impossible.

There's no one left that she loves.

-XXX-

He forces himself out of bed every morning at the crack of dawn and bakes.

Each day, it's different. Fruit scones, butter croissants, Danish pastries, blueberry muffins, bacon and cheese rolls…

There's now an endless supply of ingredients at his request. Should he ever happen to need anything, simply dial a number and it will be delivered to him within two days, tops.

Then he paints. Again, every day it's different. Sometimes he just sloshes paint randomly onto the canvas, other days he paints what he can remember from the Games.

Keeping himself busy is the best way to avoid facing the solitude making his heart ache.

He misses his father. He longs for those warm, kind smiles, the feeling of comfort and the endless support his father willingly gave him. The memories of the cookies he was given after a beating made tears spring to his eyes.

But most of all, he misses Katniss.

The flashbacks keep coming. Sometimes he is able to control his thoughts before it gets really bad. Other times he spends hours in agony trying to sort out what is real and what is not.

He doesn't let himself visit her. There's no telling what he might do.

Besides, she doesn't want to see him anyway.

So he keeps to himself, baking and painting. Occasionally Haymitch would drop by with a bottle in hand and make himself comfortable in the couch.

"She misses you, boy," he would say every time, then head back home and, once in a while, remember to feed his geese.

And his heart would shatter all over again wishing it were true.

-XXX-

Abruptly, she knocks on Peeta's door twice before she has time to change her mind.

She got the idea a few days ago, inspired by her family's old plant book. For the first time in many weeks, she left the house and told Haymitch about it.

"What about the boy?" he said.

She saw the point in his words. There was no way it could be completed without Peeta, who she hadn't even seen - let alone talked to - in weeks.

The moment they finally meet again would be inevitable, anyway, and it would come sooner or later.

Better sooner than later.

So she stands outside his house in Victor's Village with trepidation. What would they even say to each other after all this time?

The door opens.

-XXX-

He watches her write Prim's entry next to the primrose he carefully watercolour painted last night.

There's a calm sort of concentration on her face as she describes the way Prim's face was alight with joy as Lady licked her on the cheek.

Suddenly, as he observes her, he knows things will be okay. Yes, they both have bad days when she can't get out of bed and he clutches his head in fear at the shiny memories. Yes, they both scream themselves awake at night after the nightmares. Yes, they are still broken.

But the broken pieces are also being fixed.

He knows that there is no going back, that no comforting voice will tell him the past never happened, that some cracks are beyond repair.

Still, something about the serene expression Katniss wears as she subconsciously smiles at the page tells him everything will be all right.

As the days slowly turn into weeks, the pages of the book become fuller.

The loneliness slowly dissipates. After a while, she finally gives in and moves in with him. During the day, she hunts. He bakes and paints. At night, they fall asleep wrapped around each other, chasing away the nightmares.

He even catches her singing on several occasions.

Over time, they find other ways to comfort each other. For the first time, it's completely out of free will. For the first time, there isn't a camera to be found.

On the bad days, when she wakes up with that dull ache in her chest and that tight, constricting feeling in her throat which make her refuse to get out of bed, his arms and lips are there to comfort her.

On the bad days, when he has his eyes squeezed tightly shut in fear and clutches to a chair for support, she rests her head on his shoulder and softly sings in his ear.

The night when she is overtaken by the hunger again; the night when she whispers "real", she realises she doesn't have to live in fear and loneliness anymore.

What's more, she realises she has regained the will to live.

Together, they learn to count on each other and find hope once more.

They know the past can and will never be completely erased, and old memories will resurface and haunt them for the rest of their lives.

But the little bits of happiness they find help them move on. Like Finnick and Annie's newborn son. Picnics by the lake. Haymitch coming for dinner every week.

Slowly, they learn to live again.