I watched Harry stand up and leave the Great Hall, Finnegan and the Weasely girl following behind him. I could hear the other Weasely, Ron, shouting at a few students in the table before Granger pulled him out of the Hall. At my side, Astoria Greengrass was laughing and holding onto my arm like there was no tomorrow. She's so annoying. I can't believe my father arranged for me to marry her.
I saw Pansy staring at me from across the table. She didn't like Astoria either. But then again, who did? Pansy and I got into a huge fight when I told her I broke up with Harry because of Astoria. I got a horrible black eye from that.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Pansy screamed. Luckily, everyone else had gone to bed already so they didn't have to see her throwing a fit. "Why did you break up with him? That's the dumbest thing you've ever done!"
"My father sent me the owl this morning!" I shouted back at her. I usually wouldn't treat her like this, but I couldn't sit there and just have her insult me. "My engagement to Astoria Greengrass is set. I can't back out of it. You should know about those kinds of things by now."
"But if I had someone like Harry by the time my father found someone suitable for me to marry, I'd fight it," She never sounded this serious before. Pureblood families usually had arranged marriages, so this stuff wasn't new to us. No one really liked it, but there was nothing we could really do about it. "You love him and he loves you. You can't just give up on that. You broke up with him without giving him a reason!"
"I'd rather he hate me for leaving him now then keep this relationship going any further. We'd only get even more attached to each other and it'll be even more painful if we were to break up then."
"So you'll give up on your relationship just like that? You won't even try to fight for it?" Pansy stopped screaming now. She stood there and looked me straight in the eyes, waiting for my answer. I would fight for it if I could. But, what's the point in fighting for something when I know I can't win?
"No, Pansy, I won't." The words barely managed to get out of my mouth before I found myself sprawled on the ground with a throbbing pain in my eye.
"Draco, aren't you listening to me?" Astoria's incredibly high pitched voice broke me out of my thoughts. She pouted at me, giving me sad teary eyes for not listening to her. I stared back at her. The look didn't work on me. She couldn't do it like Harry did. Whenever Harry did it, I was putty in his hands. He could get me to do just about anything for me.
"Sorry, I have to get to class," I mumbled and promptly left the table, not waiting for her to respond. It was still early; Snape was still at the staff table so I doubt the Potions classroom was open, but I decided to go there anyway. I walked extra slowly to pass the time.
When I finally got to there, I saw Harry and Granger standing in front of the door. Crap, I just realized, I sat next to Harry in this class. I have to ignore him. Harry glanced up at the sound of my footsteps and I had a sudden urge to pull him into a hug and never let him go. He looked so sad. Luckily, Snape chose that moment to open the door. I have no idea how he got to the dungeons so quickly from the Great Hall. This guy could be so mysterious at times.
I walked to my table and tried to ignore Harry as he sat next to me. He busied himself with taking stuff out of his bag. I stared straight ahead, waiting for the rest of the class to come in so Snape could give us instructions and I can busy myself with working on the potion.
After what felt like forever, I started on my potion. I was grateful that Snape didn't have us work in pairs today. I don't think I can handle working with Harry; I could barely sit close to him without falling to my knees and begging for his forgiveness.
"Shit," I glanced over at Harry when I heard him curse. It looked like he accidently cut his finger while he was chopping up some of the ingredients. Blood started to come out so he stuck the finger into his mouth and sucked on it. I went about with stirring my potion while I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He picked up his knife again, but instead of going back to chopping his ingredients, he just stared at the blade.
What the hell was he doing? I almost dropped the jar I was holding when I saw him cut himself with the knife. It was a tiny cut to his forearm; it was maybe a centimeter or two long. A thin line of red showed up, but the cut wasn't deep enough that blood would spill. Harry went back to work after that.
What just happened? Since when did he cut himself? Oh crap… this wasn't because of me, was it?
Harry:
I don't know what came over me. When I had accidently cut my finger, the pain felt different. The usual stinging was there, but it felt soothing. The physical pain helped to bring down the pain in my chest. I've heard about people who did this to themselves. I never understood how anyone could hurt themselves like that, but I think I saw why they did it now.
I made another cut just to make sure. This second cut had the same effect as the first. The ache in my chest dulled a little with the second cut. This was interesting. I went back to work just as Snape was passing by. I didn't need to give him a reason to yell at me today. I'll test this new discovery of mine later.
