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Chapter 4

'Luke!' Brooke giggled as he kissed down her neck. It was 11.30, seven hours after Lucas had left Nathan. They had managed to stumble down the hallway in their slightly inebriated state and were now outside his dorm room. Brooke pushed the door open and they fell into the room.

Fumbling around in the dark as Lucas continued his assault of his neck, she found the light switch and flicked it on.

'Oh my god.' Brooke breathed in a scared whisper.

Hearing his girlfriend's change in tone, Lucas straightened up.

'Shit.'

The room was in chaos. Bedding was strewn everywhere. Everything had been swept off the desk. Lucas' side was relatively better, but all of Nathan's clothes had been pulled out of his closet and flung around the room. Some glasses had obviously been thrown at the wall as there were shards of glass on the floor by the skirting boards. On one of the mattresses was Nathan's beloved Michael Jordan jersey, a one-of-a-kind he'd spent two weeks religiously bidding for on eBay, which he'd paid a small fortune for. The jersey that he kept in a fireproof carrier and never wore. That jersey was lying sloppily on one of the bare mattresses, with a long tear through the middle.

'Lucas, what happened?' Brooke whispered. 'Did anything get stolen?' She began to move around the room, to check if anything had been taken. Lucas reached out and grabbed her arm, holding her in place. She looked back at him questioningly.

'Nothing's been taken.' He stated.

'How do you know? This place is a mess. You should check your laptops are still here, and we need to tell your RA, the campus police and-'

'No Brooke. We're not doing any of that. This was Nathan.'

'What? No way. Nathan has a temper but come on. Trashing your room? His Jordan jersey?' Brooke shook her head.

'Brooke. It was Nathan.' Lucas repeated, looking around the room.

Brooke heard the conviction in Lucas' voice and trusted his judgement.

'Why would he do this? What's wrong with him?' Brooke's voice had an edge of anger.

'Don't. Don't get angry at him or condemn him. Just don't.' Lucas said stonily as he moved to sit on a bed.

She was taken aback by his harshness and remained standing in the middle of the room. She saw Lucas put his head in his hands. Walking towards him gingerly, glass crunching under her shoes, she sat next to him.

'Luke. Talk to me. What happened?' She asked softly.

'Dan. Dan called him and, shit, Brooke, he was… I mean he's always been vicious when he criticizes but he was… it was out of control. I could hear every word he said and… and Nathan just sat there and took it. I was only there for the first five minutes and it was already bad. Who knows how long he went on for? How bad it got. How cruel he got and… shit.'

'Where is he?' Brooke asked about Nathan.

'I have no idea. He's probably on a complete bender right now. Look at this place.'

'Lucas, we should find him. If he's this upset and hurt then we need to find him.' Brooke was really worried now.

Lucas spotted Nathan's keys hanging on their peg by the door.

'If he doesn't want to be found, he won't be. He can't go off campus, his keys are still here. Let him be alone now. As long as he's on campus somewhere, he'll be fine.'

'Well we have to do something. He's our friend. He's your brother. He's like my brother.' Brooke whispered fiercely.

Seeing the resoluteness in her eyes, Lucas gathered her up in a big hug. 'I love you,' He mumbled into her hair.

She smiled and returned the hug. 'I love you too, Broody.'


Haley yawned and put notebook into her bag. It was 2.30 in the morning and she was officially wiped.

'I'm exhausted,' she said to the boy sitting next to her.

'I know.' He agreed. 'And I have a 9.30 class.' He added.

'Me too. Just our luck, right?.'

They gathered up their things and headed out of the library. Outside, they parted ways.

'Goodnight Haley.' He waved.

'Night Connor.'

Connor Davies was in her History class. They had been paired together on the latest assignment. She knew him through Sarah, one of the reserves on the cheerleading squad. She and Connor had been dating since their junior year of high school, and together they were one of the most adorable couples on campus.

As she wandered across to her dorm, her mind flitted to Nathan. Usually she would have called him and they would have walked to the dorms together, maybe going out for coffee if they both had late classes the next day. She sighed. Things were awkward between them right now. Since her late-night conversation with Brooke, Lucas and Peyton a few nights ago, Haley had become more and more sure that she wanted to date Nathan. She hadn't done anything about it though. Her reason was that she hadn't seen him to speak to. That was just a technicality. The main problem was that she didn't know how to go about it. She wasn't just about to walk up to him and say, "Hey Nate. I like you. I mean I like you as in I want to date you. Get over here and kiss me." Yeah. That wasn't going to happen. She was scared of his reaction. Did he want to be with her? That was the question.

Haley continued her path. She walked past the big college fountain and spotted someone sitting on one of the benches near it. Not thinking much of it, she kept walking. As she got closer, she recognised the person.

'Nathan?'

Nathan broke out of his name. He found Haley sitting next to him, giving him a concerned look.

'Hey. What are you doing out?' He asked her. His voice sounded tired.

'I just came from the library. Me and Connor were doing that assignment.' She explained. 'Are you alright? You seem kind of out of it.'

Nathan gave her a small smile. "Out of it". That was the understatement of the century.

'Just… stuff.' He said vaguely. Haley raised her eyebrows at him.

'Stuff?'

Nathan sighed. 'Well my dad called. He was exceptionally livid today, which is saying a lot considering he's an angry ass most of the time.'

'Oh, Natha-'

'So he shouted at me for about an hour. Then I went a bit out of control. I can't really remember most of it. It happened kind of fast, but I think it's safe to say that my room is completely trashed.'

Haley was quiet as she absorbed all of this.

'Are you hurt?' She asked quietly.

He turned and looked her straight in the eye.

'Why are you talking to me?' He asked bluntly. He wasn't cold or anything. Just curious.

'What? You were sitting by yourself, on a bench, at 2.30 in the morning.'

He nodded. A silence settled over them. Nathan was tired from the day. He was finally calm inside. Emotions had surfaced today; all of the demons that he had battled to control his whole life, had surfaced today. They had prompted him to wreck his and Lucas' room, and then aimlessly walk around campus for hours.

Haley sat next to Nathan, fidgeting.

'What's wrong, Haley?'

'What?' Nathan's question caught her off guard.

'You've been avoiding me, and when you do see me, you're acting really weird.'

'I haven't… I mean… There's just a lot of stuff going on right now. I haven't seen anybody really.' Haley rambled.

'Now that's not true. Call me paranoid, but you seem perfectly fine with everybody else, it's just me you seem to be having a problem with.' Nathan looked up at her, hurt displayed in his eyes. 'Is it because of last week?' He asked, referring to when he had ignored her. 'Cause I'm really sorry about that. I was an ass Hales.'

She felt really guilty. Truth be told, she probably had been avoiding Nathan. It was just awkward for her to be around him right now.

'I'm sorry Nate.' She said. It sounded like an empty apology but she didn't want to tell him the real reason, much less lie.

Nathan, however, wanted to know why.

'Why?'

'Well you have to admit, our friendships been a bit… strained lately.' She started. He nodded to agree.

'I don't get why though. Why it's been strained. It's tiring. Don't you just want things between us to go back to normal?'

Haley was silent. Every part of her wanted to protest; say that she didn't want to go back to how things were. A sudden jolt of urgency rushed through her. Every part of her wanted to express a different idea. So she did.

'Nathan, would it be so bad if things changed?' She said hesitantly.

'Change how?'

'Not change a lot, just a bit, for the better.'

'What do you mean?'

'Well, I don't know, like if we…' This was not going well. 'You know what, never mind.'

'Haley.'

'Seriously, don't worry about it. Should we go back? I'm so tired.' She stood up.

He studied her face for a moment. She was hiding something; she was fidgeting around, and the last part of their conversation did not make sense. She was all over the place and Haley was one of the most articulate people he knew.

Eventually, he stood up and they wandered back to their dorm building in silence.

Her room was two floors below his. They took the stairs as the elevator was, once again, out of order. They parted ways; Haley went down the hall to her room and Nathan went for the next flight of stairs. Nathan stood at the end of her corridor in thought. Staring at the ceiling, he replayed their conversation in his head. A wave of realisation washed over him and settled as a knot in his stomach. He had a feeling he knew what she was getting at. Why she'd been avoiding him. He looked back up and saw her halfway to her door.

'Haley!'

Hearing his voice, she turned. 'Yeah?'

He jogged the short distance towards her.

'Before, outside, what you were talking about. Are you saying-' Alarm bells went off in her head.

'Nathan.' She hurriedly cut him off before he could say anything else. 'Let's just…' She wanted to say "Let's just forget it", but instead, 'It's late.'

'It's late.' He repeated. They stood there for a second before he leaned in, bringing their faces together. Their lips met in a soft kiss. When they pulled apart, their eyes met, before Haley hastily turned and continued down the hall.


Haley leaned back against the door. She flicked on the light switch, hoping not to wake Peyton. Peyton's bed was empty and made. Figuring she was staying with Jake, Haley started to dress for bed.

Exhausted, she lay down in the darkness, and inevitably, her thoughts wandered to Nathan. She'd put off thinking about the past half an hour with him since she'd arrived in her room, but now, with sleep feeling like light years away, he infiltrated her mind even more than before.

She had been so close to telling him the truth tonight, but what stayed in her mind the most was Nathan catching on. He must know now. He must have some idea. He had kissed her after he knew.

He kissed her after. Why? Caught up in the moment? Outlet for lust? Or reassurance? Reassurance that he felt similarly.

Knowing Nathan, it was probably on impulse, but a beacon of hope had been lit in her heart and in her mind, that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nathan walked towards his room, thinking of what Haley had meant. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he forgot about the hellish Dan-experience and the disastrous state he was bound to find his room in.

He opened his door to find Peyton, Jake and Lucas huddled around Lucas' bed. Seeing his friends, Nathan came back to reality and started to look around for signs chaos. Instead of the expected ruins, he was met with the room in its usual state, albeit much tidier than normal.

'Hey.' Nathan's voice startled them.

'Hey!'

Lucas was more than pleased to find his brother in a fully-sober, fairly neat state. He couldn't see any traces of hook-ups or brawls.

'Are you ok?' Jake asked.

'Yeah. I'm fine now. Not so much before. I pretty much trashed this place…'

'Well Brooke and I found it pretty messed up man. It was that bad?'

'And then some. I'm sorry for messing everything up though. You guys cleaned everything?'

'Yeah. It was mainly putting stuff back and clearing up glass. We lost that blue lamp though, but Jake managed to fix the chair.'

'Thanks guys.' Nathan said quietly. 'You're great, really.' He was so lucky to have such stable friends who would stick by him for always.

'And we're done!' A voice shouted from Lucas' bed. Brooke stood up on the bed, her hands behind her back.

'What were you doing?' Nathan asked her, surprised to find that he hadn't seen or heard her yet.

'Fixing something for you.' She replied mysteriously.

'You were fixing something? You? No offence Brooke, but Jake's the fixer round here…' Nathan started, half-teasing, half-serious.

Her eyes darkened. 'Ok Hotshot. Anymore of that and I'll destroy it.'

'Brooke! Would you just give it to him!' Peyton was losing her patience. She really wanted Nathan to have it.

Brooke brought her hands out from behind her back, and handed Nathan a garment before jumping off the bed. All four pairs of eyes were focused on him.

Nathan looked at what he'd been given. It was his Jordan jersey. His mind flashed back and he remembered tearing it. Shit! He tore it.

The jersey he was holding now didn't have any tears. He scrutinized it, looking for any noticeable repair work. He saw a faint line of neat thread. So small and precise, he had to squint to see it properly.

'Brooke…' This jersey was probably one of, if not the, most valuable things he owned. He couldn't believe he'd ripped it so rashly.

He was lost for words. He looked up to see all of their eyes trained on him in anticipation.

'Is it alright?' Brooke asked nervously. She'd pricked herself so many times because she'd been so nervous sewing it.

'I know you don't let anyone touch it, but I just thought that-' Nathan broke off her uncharacteristic rambling by wrapping her up in a big hug.

'Thanks Brooke. You're awesome. I love you.' He said, still hugging her.


'Luke?' Nathan whispered. It was an hour later and everyone had retreated to sleep in their own dorms for once.

'Yeah?'

'I kissed Haley again.'

Groaning, Lucas asked, 'When?'

'Tonight.'

'Where?'

'On the lips.'

'No, idiot, where?'

'Oh, outside her dorm.'

'Why?'

'I don't know. I just felt like it.'

'What-'

'Damnit Luke! I don't want to play twenty questions.'

Groaning again, he said. 'Nathan. What is it?'

'Well before it happened, we were talking and she started talking about things changing. Things between her and me changing.'

'Oh.'

'What does she mean?'

'Nathan, you know what she means.'

'I know. What do I do?'

'What do you want?'

'I don't know. A lot of the time I think it would be great, but then dkjsd like this happens with Dad today, and I think that I don't want to deal with anything else right now.'

'Sorry man. Unless you know what you want, you won't know what to do.'


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