Olivia made her way up the stairs, sweeping her sweat matted bangs across her forehead. This was usually the point where she would run. Run away from it all. The pain of another failed relationship, the pain of living in the city all alone again, the pain of having to go into the office and sit across from the man of her dreams knowing she would never be able to touch him, to hold him, to be with him the way she so desperately wanted to be.

She could hear the creaks of the old wooden staircase with each heavy step. She loved the sound. She always wanted to build a life with someone inside a rickety New York City house. There was something cozy about being in a house that saw the best and worst times of the city's complicated history.

She walked over to their bedroom and leaned up against it, listening for the sound of the shower's spray. She couldn't face Brian again tonight.

She turned the knob of the door, hearing the pitter patter of the water hitting the shower floor, and walked into the room, gasping as she saw Brian sitting in bed, flipping through channels on their television set.

"Brian. I thought you were in the shower," she muttered, turning around to close the door.

"I didn't really get all worked up, so I thought I'd skip it until morning. Ran the water for you, though," he answered, not taking his eyes off the TV.

She smiled at him and nodded, sweeping her hair behind her ear and making her way to the connecting washroom.

"Olivia."

She stopped in her tracks, waiting for him to continue.

"I'm sorry."

She slowly turned on her heel to face him, giving him an inquisitive look. Why was he apologizing? He didn't do anything wrong.

"I shouldn't have said what I did down there. I was just angry after the conversation I had with Elliot, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you," he said, throwing the remote across their bed and looking at her.

"Oh, Brian, it's-"

"Maybe one of these days I'll tell you, Olivia," he said, glancing down at his hands. "Maybe one of these days I'll tell you why my brother and I can't stand each other."

She couldn't help her eyes from growing wider. He rarely talked about Elliot like this. Sure, he yelled about him or cursed him, but he never spoke so solemnly about the situation they were in. Olivia knew the gist of it all, piecing it together through little slips in each of their rants, but she never got the full story out of either of them.

"Brian, you know you can always come to me," she said, walking over to him, kneeling down by the bed, and grabbing his hand.

He smiled at her, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. "I know that, Olivia. I know."

She gave him a small smile back, standing up and leaning over him to give him a small kiss, before making her way back to the bathroom.

"But I also know that he's your best friend and I can't tell you without worrying about you brining it up with him."

She spun around, mouth hanging open. "Brian, you know I would never-"

"I trust you with my life, Olivia," he started, staring at her. "But there are certain areas that I still don't know if I can trust you entirely yet. My brother is one of them."

She crossed her arms over her chest, remaining silent and waiting for him to speak again. If she was going to get in a fight with him, she wanted to have his entire rebuttal in her pocket.

"You two have this weird connection. I don't know what it is, but it's stronger than most partners. Hell, it's stronger than most siblings," he started. "And although I know you love me, I also know you love him. As a friend, as a partner, as a brother, I don't know, but you love him and I still don't trust you enough to tell you something and not have you run off to tell him to get his side of the story," he spat, shaking his head furiously, the colour rising in his neck and face.

He looked up at her, expecting her to argue with him, throw something at him, hell, even hit him. He wasn't expecting her to walk over to him on the bed, throw the covers off, and swing one leg over him, straddling him.

"Um-"

She kissed him, slow and lovingly, twisting her hands in the back of his hair and pulling him into her as much as she could. She licked his bottom lip, nipping it, listening to Brian let out an appreciative groan.

She drew back, almost reluctantly, giving him one last peck, before grabbing the sides of his face and forcing him to look at her.

"Brian, I…You know it's hard for me to say, to accept, but I do care for you very much," she said. "I want you to come to me, as your friend and as your partner. I'm here for you, okay?"

He reached up and held onto her hands, nodding slowly. She smiled, leaning in to kiss him once more, but stopped, her lips just ghosting over his.

"I have to take a shower."

"I know," he nodded.

"Do you want to come and help me get clean? After all, it's your fault I feel so dirty," she whispered seductively.

She heard him growl and howled in laughter as he picked her up bridal style and carried her into the washroom, the sound of her laughter ringing through the house as he kicked the door closed with his foot.

Olivia could barely stifle a yawn the next day as she stood by the coffee maker, pouring packet after packet of sugar into her morning brew. It may be one of the unhealthier meal decisions in her life, but at that moment, she couldn't care less. Brian had gotten overly rowdy in the shower, and after the shower, and after the after shower, ravaging her for the majority of the night. She smiled as she felt the small pain in between her legs that came with a night of good, hard fucking. She only hope the bastard was as tired as she was and standing by his coffee machine over in the NYPD's Narcotics division precinct.

"No Kathy, I'm not going to give you sole custody of the twins…Because they're my kids, too! Oh, that's just rich, what about all the nights you spend at the hospital…well at least I'm not fucking my doctor!"

Olivia sighed, her shoulders tensing as she heard Elliot's voice ring out through the precinct halls. If calming down Brian was an ordeal, this was going to be a suicide mission.

"Yeah, well fuck you too, Kathy," Elliot yelled, walking into the room and throwing his phone down on his desk. "FUCK!"

"Elliot!"

"What?"

"Do you think you could keep the swearing down," Cragen asked, walking out of his office and leaning against Fin's desk.

Elliot just looked at him before shaking his head, looking around the room until he found who he was looking for.

"You," he said, pointing at Olivia. "To the roof. Now."

She watched as he shoved chairs out of the way, glaring at anyone who dared cross him. He was on a warpath and unfortunately Olivia knew she was the main reason for his aggression.

"What's that about," Cragen asked her, eyebrows raised and arms folded across his chest. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought he was amused with the entire situation.

She shrugged her shoulders, raising the mug she was holding to her face with both hands and spinning around, following her anger consumed partner up the their spot.

She shivered upon opening the door. Even by New York standards, it was a pretty frigid day. If she knew Elliot wasn't going to jump down her throat the minute she said hello, she would have cursed him out for picking the roof of all places to have a conversation in the middle of winter.

She saw him, standing by the ledge, puffing on a cigarette. In the twelve years she knew him, she had seen him smoke a total of four times. The first was when he met Lanagan for the first time. The second was when he and Kathy went through their first split. The third was when everything surrounding Eli's birth was going down, and the fourth time was now. Oh yes, she could not wait until this day was over.

She stood behind him and went to open her mouth, but despite her strongest attempts, found that she couldn't do it. She wanted to be able to explain why she was with Brian or why she waited so long to tell him, but she couldn't stand the look she knew she was going to get from him.

She had never felt as helpless as she has then, standing there, awkwardly, trying to make any sound come out of her mouth.

"You're fucking my brother."

And just like that, the oxygen had just been knocked out of her.

He spun around, his face pale, cigarette firmly attached to his lips, hands dug deep into his coat pocket.

"Well?"

"El, she finally muttered, looking anywhere but at him.

"Why?"

There it was.

"Elliot, it wasn't like we planned it. It just sort of happened."

"It just sort of happened," he scoffed, looking out at the city skyline. "So, what exactly, Liv? You just so happened to lose your clothes and fall into bed with my brother?"

"ELLIOT!"

"Explain it to me, Liv," he roared, ripping the cigarette from his mouth and flicking it over the side of the building. "Because I know you know how I feel about my brother and until just now I thought you felt the same way about him, too. So please, Olivia, fucking enlighten me. How did you go from hating Brian Cassidy to fucking him every single night?"

"I don't owe you a damn explanation, Elliot. I am not your girlfriend and I am not your kid sister-"

"That would be a whole other conversation."

"You are not my protector," she continued, ignoring his remark. "You are not my savior. I am an adult and so is Brian and if Brian and I want to have a relationship and if we both love each other than that is for us to decide."

"You love him," he asked incredulously, his mouth dropping slightly. "I can't believe this, Liv. I can't believe you kept this from me."

"Look at how you're reacting right now, Elliot. Can you blame me?"

He took his hands out of his pocket and rubbed them together, blowing heated breath over his fingertips and bouncing softly where he stood. He looked away from her again, squinting his eyes.

"I've told you everything that's happened with me and Kathy ever since I knew you."

"El, this is so-"

"And you know why, Liv," he interrupted. "Because you're my best friend and I knew that if anyone was going to have my back and give me good advice it was going to be you."

"You can't compare your relationship with Kathy to my relationship with Brian, Elliot."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because," she sighed in frustration. "Because Kathy is not my adopted sister that I hate with every ounce of my being."

"You don't even know the full story, Liv."

"That's the point, El," she yelled, throwing her hands up in the air before crossing them over her eyes. She could feel the throbbing of an incoming migraine making its way to the front of her brain. "I don't know the full story of what happened between you and Brian because you refuse to tell me and he refuses to tell me and I've had to put the pieces together over the past twelve years and I still don't know everything."

She wasn't even sure if she was making sense at this point, but at some point during their confrontation she had dropped her self doubt about the situation and just let the rant that had been threatening to overtake her for the past few years finally spill out.

"You want to talk about being best friends and trusting each other, El? You really want to go there? How about keeping me at bay for over a decade? How about having me listen to you every day about whatever Brian's done to piss you off and never telling me why this all started? You want to talk about hiding secrets Elliot, that's fine. But then we're going to talk about you hiding the biggest one of all," she spat, her chest heaving, her lungs gulping, taking in as much oxygen as they could.

He stared at her. She saw his face crumble the slightest bit. She saw his hand twitch. She knew he wanted to reach out to her, give her arm a slight, comforting squeeze. That's what he usually did when she was as visibly upset as she was now. But he was never the cause for her being upset. At least, not that he knew of. He was like a fish out of water and there wasn't an opportunity in sight to jump back under the waves.

Almost with the snap of a finger, though, his mood changed. She watched as his shoulders bunched up, as his face became redder, as his eyes squinted into almost nothing and as the veins on his neck started to pop.

He walked toward her, his body towering over her menacingly. She backed away from him, for the first time in her life, scared of what he might do to her. He continued prowling toward her until she was backed up against a wall. He threw up his arms around her, trapping her between the wall and his body. He leaned his head toward her and she barely contained the gasp as his face moved toward hers. Her feet felt like lead. She wanted to bolt, to push him off, her sensors sending up all kinds of warning, but she was stuck there, desperate for him to finally do something.

"You want to talk about secrets, Olivia," he whispered into her ear, his body moving closer to hers. "Does my brother know about all the other men you've fucked? Does he know you're going to leave him and move onto the next one eventually? Secrets, Liv? Does Brian know just how fucked up you can be? Is Brian ready to handle all of your breakdowns? Will Brian still want you then, Liv?"

She snapped.

She raised her knee, connecting with his groin and using his surprised falter to slap him as hard as she could across his face, pushing him off of her. She watched him step backward and the horrific realization of what he just did cross his face. Still doubled over and clutching his stomach, he reached out toward her.

"Liv, I am so-"

"Do not," she spat, as furiously as she could. "Do not talk to me today, Elliot. Do not touch me, do not follow me, do not even exist around me today. I'll work with Fin," she said, glaring at him one last time before ripping the door open and practically jumping down the steps that lead back into the precinct. She shook her head, refusing to let the tears out that wanted to be released. She was done crying over Elliot Stabler, and as far as she was concerned, she was done with Elliot Stabler.