Hey there! So this is my first crack at fanfiction and is my first writing experience in a while. I promise to keep it updated as much as possible. Please let me know of your thoughts and tell me how you think I could make it better. This story is as much for me as for you! :) Enjoy!
I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. I only own the plot.'
Sorry it took me so long to update, I was in PA taking care of my grandmother for quite a while, and was too busy to update :( Thank you for you patience! this chapter is quite long, and all an internal battle kind of thing I wanted to play with, really getting in Sasuke's head. The man behind the blank mask kind of thing. Let me know what you think!
It was about 2 in the afternoon when Sasuke finally woke up. He reveled at the dream he had last night, he scoffed at himself for having such an inappropriate dream. Something definitely was wrong with him. 'Maybe I sould go get a check up or something?' he thought as he slowly opened his eyes and rolled over off of his back.
Once his eyes adjusted to sunlight, he froze. On the other pillow was a note that smelled of roses and cherries, and as he slowly looked further down he saw it.
It hadn't been a dream at all. Right there, right in front of him, almost screaming at him, was a small blood stain and a pair of torn pink panties.
Suddenly memories came crashing into him. The taste of her mouth, the skin of her neck, her sweet core. Ther feeling of her finger nails digging into his back as she whispered his name. How she felt when he was inside of her.
And then another terrifying revelation crashed over him: He had told her that he loved her. And he didn't. 'Do I?'
He fucked up. He had fucked everything up and she would probably be back soon thinking he loved her and she'd look so happy and he would die. All of his redemption wouldn't matter if he was faced with this ultimate crime he had commited.
He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. 'Shit, shit, shit. What do I do!?'
He looked over to the note on the pillow and slowly picked it up, trying not to smell the paper.
Sasuke-kun,
I had to sneak out to go check on my clinic, I'll be back soon.
I love you.
'No.' He had gotten dressed quickly before, spending most of his youth on the run, but he had to admit this was a record. In the matter of maybe two minutes he had all of his belongings together and was about to bolt out of the small house of that damn pinkette who had managed to turn him into a blubbering hormonal teenager last night.
He had committed an atrocity. He had spent most of his life commiting atrocities. He was shit again, and the last two years of helping people and changing was null and void now. He had taken a precious thing from her and worse than that, he had lied to her, as far as he could tell at least.
'A note. You're destroying her again. At least tell her why.'
He walked out of the room to the small living room, and quickly spotted the same notepad and pen she had written the note for him with. He closed his eyes, full in his resolve and sat on the couch dictating in his head how to soften this blow.
When he finally opened them his breath hitched and his eyes flew so wide it slightly hurt his face.
You better not run,
yet.
'She knew. Of course she knew.' A small smirk broke on his face. He looked around finally and saw that there was a small backpack filled to the brim sitting on the floor next to him on the couch which was covered in a tarp. In fact, everything was covered in tarps. She knew exactly what would happen again, and this time he knew she wouldn't ask to follow him, she just would.
'She's changed. Grown.' He smiled at this. Perhaps he could love this Sakura who knew him so well she had forseen his actions exactly, he wouldn't put it past her to have planted her panties, that he was sure he had thown on the floor, on the bed for him to find. She knew him better than he knew himself, better than anyone ever would.
And suddenly he couldn't run anymore, he couldn't even move. He would wait like a puppy for her to return. He could let her come with him this time, he could do that much for her.
He realized in the silence of her absense this is what he had been waiting for. Even the first time he had left the village, even at 13, he had wanted her to come with him. He always wondered why he contiplated her offer, now he knew.
Long overlooked memories flooded back to him:
Her as an annoying fan girl he hated but tolerated out of obligation.
Her crying over him at Naruto bridge, him wondering why he'd only said "Sakura I can't breath." Instead of telling her to not touch him like he would have any other.
Seeing her beaten and bloodied with her long pink hair sloppily cut, standing in front of him. Protecting him.
The most powerful rage he had ever felt, even more powerful than towards Itachi, when he saw the bastards who had dared to hurt her.
Him leaing back into her embrace when she had stopped him from killing them.
Him standing so close behind her, he could smell her hair when he had thanked her.
Brushing the tears from her unconsious form when he had gently placed her on that bench.
Seeing her for the first time in 3 years, and only being able to say her name, after his pale replacement had gone on about how much they loved him.
Trying to kill her, in the depth of his psycosis, and silently letting a single tear slip out that night, so thankful that Kakashi had stopped him.
Balling like a little baby when he had Itachi's eyes. The what ifs kill him. Wondering what if he had known why Itachi had done it. What if he had stayed, what if what if what if.
Seeing her power and being confused by how proud he felt when her seal appeared on the forehead she hated. How amazing she was when he realized she had finally caught up to him and the loser, if not surpassed them.
Crying and apologizing when he lost his arm.
And finally, tapping her seal like Itachi had all those years ago. And thanking her again, before abandoning her.
He finally realized in one soul crushing moment two things:
1: Their story, his story, was not one of simple blinding rage and hatred that eventually led to redemption. But one of love trying to break through that hate.
2: He had ignored his entire life one such simple truth it was half idiotic he hadn't noticed before. He was in love with Haruno Sakura. And had been for years, perhaps since the bridge, perhaps since she had embraced him and stopped him from killing, perhaps since he had thanked her and left her the first time.
He loved her. The man with no emotions but hatred and anger had found his soul mate when all he could see was hate.
He didn't think he'd ever be able to tell her. But he knew she wouldn't hold it against him. Perhaps she already knew.
His redemption journey was far from over, and now he knew why: He had to redeem himself to her now. He had to make it up to her, for all the pain he had caused her. This was his mission now, and one he would accept silently, stoicly, and never tell anyone about.
