Author's Note - Hey guys so I know it's been a long while since I posted this story. I have been a little slack lately and I'm really sorry for that. My life has been super crazy of late but hopefully will now be settling down.

I wanted to thank everyone for their interest and support for this story. You lot always make me smile. I hope that you enjoy the latest instalment.

All I Ever Wanted

Chapter 4 – The Shape of Things to Come

Lucas stood in the corner of the large function room with a glass of Moet in hand and surveyed the throngs of people. He watched as Lindsey mingled with various members of the crowd and he adjusted his tie self consciously.

Three weeks ago Lucas had flown out to New York City now that his publishing deal had been finalised. He had spent the time meeting with her father and other associate editors. The rest of the time had been spent arguing with the brunette in his hotel room as they continued to work together on his novel.

Lindsey had explained that this gathering was supposed to be about networking. It was the perfect opportunity for Lucas to make himself known within the right circles. The room was full of aspiring and published authors, publicists and editors. He wasn't comfortable in these surroundings and that surprised him. Lucas was normally so confident and sure of himself but now felt unexpectedly out of his depths. He'd become used to the attentions and the glory that came from playing basketball. He had thrived on it back in High School. But this was different; the very works that came from his heart were both a source of great pride and great uncertainty.

Lucas took the final mouthful of the sharp liquid and his mind idly fluttered to the idea of going upstairs and calling Peyton. It was now two months since Peyton had agreed to give their relationship a try. He hated to be away from her whilst their romance was so new. He missed the fiery blonde. They would talk almost every night in effort to catch up on what was going on in each other's lives. He set down the empty champagne glass and excused himself from the function. After navigating through the strategically placed bodies he made his way to his hotel room.

Once inside the quiet space Lucas shrugged off his suit jacket and tie before picking up the phone from its cradle. He knew Peyton would most likely still be at work but he longed to hear her voice with its unmistakable southern twang and all of the reassurances it conjured within him. He was however fatefully greeted by the bleep of her voicemail and he exhaled before speaking. "Hi Peyt. It's me. I miss you. Call me when you get this."

After a beat Lucas hung up and moved over to the bed. He kicked off his shoes and settled onto the soft mattress with the tattered manuscript in hand. He scanned over the reams of sentences that flooded across the pages before him. Despite the fact that is was still early in the evening he felt his eyes soon beginning to droop.

An unexpected knock at the door sounded; causing Lucas to jerk into full awareness and he begrudgingly pulled his weary body from its resting place and went over to answer it.

"Hey," Lindsey said as she stood in the opening.

"Hi," Lucas replied rubbing at his bleary eyes as they regained focus.

"I just came up to check on you," she offered by way of explanation. "I didn't see you leave. Were you not having fun?"

Lucas shrugged his shoulders at the question. "I guess I'm just not really used to selling myself," he answered simply.

"Well that will come Lucas," she assured him gently. "What with all the book tours and publicity all of this will become second nature to you. Anyway can I come in? There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

"Sure. I guess so," Lucas moved from the door frame allowing her access to the room. He motioned for her to take a seat on the plush white couch before sitting down beside her. "So...?" he probed as Lindsey remained oddly silent.

"So my father and I were talking downstairs about the book," she said with a hint of caution. "He loves the book Lucas and so do I."

"I'm sensing a but is coming up," Lucas replied. He and Lindsey had got pretty close as they worked together. He had come to know her tones and expressions well enough by now to know that something wasn't right.

"Well," Lindsey paused momentarily as she bit her lip. "It's just the ending. Both my father and I were talking about it and we're both not too sure about it."

"Ok," Lucas felt his jaw tighten slightly. He had become used to the close scrutiny his works had been subjected to. He would sit for hours with her pawing over his manuscript and his head pulsating as they debated heatedly over the tiniest detail. He'd learnt to compromise with the young editor.

"I don't like the ending Luke. And my father agrees," Lindsey admitted tentatively breaking the tensed silence. She tilted her head in an effort to avoid his gaze she continued on with her reasoning. "I mean it's supposed to be a love story. The readers are going to want the boy and the girl to be together in the end."

Lucas felt his brow crinkle with the irritation. Small alterations were one thing and he had come to tolerate and expect that. However her suggestion now somewhat defeated the whole purpose of the book. "The book is about unrequited love," he explained. "It's about the power of that emotion. It's about love in its purest form and the protagonist's own sacrifice to make sure the girl he loves is happy."

"I get that Lucas. I really do. And it's a beautiful story. But I really do think the readers are going to want a happy ending. We just want the book to do well Luke," Lindsey said as she attempted to change tack. "The book is wonderful. The words are beautiful. But the girl marries someone else. The boy never even admits his true feelings. It just seems sad."

"It's how I want the story to end," Lucas stated firmly.

Lindsey pursed her lips together as she collected her thoughts. "Ok," she said softly. She sensed how deeply he felt on the subject and knew he wouldn't waver from his decision. She beamed at him. "You know when I first read the book I became so lost in its beauty and its innocence. I told my father we had to work with you to get it published and seen by the world. It spoke to me Luke, out of the hundreds of manuscripts I've taken home in my career this one struck me as special."

"Thank you," Lucas uttered gratefully.

Lindsey moved towards him. The move surprised him. He jolted into awareness as her face was now mere inches from his own. He immediately pulled away. Lucas's mind snapped only to Peyton. There was no doubt about it; Peyton was the girl he wanted so desperately to be with. He didn't want to jeopardise that.

"Lindsey?"Lucas murmured questioningly. He pulled himself up to his feet again attempting to put some distance between them.

"I just thought that..." the brunette stammered. She rose up to her feet. "It's just the book's about you. And I thought..."

"I'm seeing someone Lindsey," Lucas told her.

"Oh. I'm sorry Luke," Lindsey fumbled as her face flushed with a mixture of both disappointment and embarrassment. She brushed a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry. I thought that..."

"I didn't mean to give you that impression," he said gently. He felt terrible as she had invested so much into him and given him the opportunity he'd only dreamt about previously.

"No it's fine. Really." Lindsey struggled to maintain her calm and professional demeanour now that her true feelings for him had been revealed. "Listen I've been working you pretty hard. Why don't you head back to Tree Hill early? I can fly over and catch up with you there next week."

"Ok," Lucas agreed.

"Great," the woman picked up her small purse before she practically bolted from the hotel suite. Lucas sucked in a deep gulp of air as he tried to process what he just spiralled out before him.

-- --

Peyton stood with paint brush in hand as she worked way into the night on the canvass in front of her. She had converted the upstairs of the gallery into a studio where she could paint. She would often disappear up there for hours at a time. It helped her think. She worked quietly mixing and blended the colours as she allowed the image in her mind to flow readily onto the once blank canvass. After a while she took a step back and examined her work with a critical eye.

She had been spending a lot of her spare time there since Lucas had been in New York. Being in her apartment on her own now just seemed too cold and empty. She was reluctant to admit it even to herself but she had got into the habit of not wanting to sleep without him. It was silly and uncharacteristically girly of her; things that she never thought she would ever be again. She missed him more than she thought she would. He had been a constant fixture in her life for so long now. She missed his goofy grin. She missed his jokes and his teasing her. It had only been a few weeks since they had started dating but Peyton felt the tell tale signs swelling within her.

The click at the door opening and a creak of the wooden floor stirred her from her musings and told her she was no longer alone. She knew instinctively that it was him without having to turn around. His footsteps were so slight and so familiar. His arms encircled her from behind and she melted against him. His lips brushed against her neck as he breathed her in and kissed her gently. "Hi," he whispered at the shell of his ear.

"Hi," she turned to face him then, need and want overtaking her. She rose up on her toes wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. He responded eagerly pulling her close, kissing back with such a delicate blend of passion and tenderness.

"Hi," Lucas said grinning as they broke apart from their frenzied welcome.

"I didn't think you were back until the weekend," Peyton uttered as she secretly relished how good it felt to be back in his arms. "You should've called me. I would've come to pick you up from the airport."

"I know," his hand brushed the tousled curls from her eyes. "But I wanted to surprise you."

"I'm glad you did." Her fingers toyed with the buttons of his shirt.

"I missed you Blondie," he said lightly kissing her paint flecked nose and causing her to giggle.

Peyton bit her lip shyly, "yeah?"

"Yeah I did. I don't suppose you missed me?" His tone of voice was laced with hope and a hint of insecurity that she rarely detected from him.

"Maybe a little," she said through a sweet smile.

"That's good then." Lucas moved back to kiss her.

"So how was New York?" Peyton asked after they broke from the clinch.

"It was good. I worked hard but it was great and an experience. The sights were amazing. But...." he trailed off.

"But what?" she asked with a furrowed brow.

"Lindsey and I kind of clashed over the ending of my book. She wants me to change it. Her father wants me to change it."

"Why?" Peyton asked.

"They want me to change it because they both aren't sold on the ending," Lucas offered.

"I'm sorry Luke," she cradled his large hand in her smaller ones. "You've got to do what feels right for you though. I know how important the book is to you. Go with your heart Luke. The book will be great. You're great. I have faith in you."

"Yeah, you think so?" His very blue eyes twinkled with newly restored optimism.

"I know so."

"You know you're really sexy when you talk like that." He caught her back up into his arms. By just being with her made him feel like he was capable of achieving his wildest dreams. "It's ok though. I mean it gave me a chance to come home early. And spend some time with my gorgeous new girlfriend."

"My place?" she suggested then.

-- --

Peyton and Lucas lay entwined together on her couch together an hour later. They talked and laughed easily in the dimly lit lounge and she couldn't remember a time when she had felt more warm and safe. Her usually scurrying mind was focused simply on the here and now. There were no thoughts of work, schedules, Brooke's wedding plans or anything other than being with her boyfriend. As Lucas held her tight and close to his chest she just felt calmness and contentment. She watched the slight flicker of the amber flames at her fire place and felt her eyes flutter.

Lucas's hand stroked her bare shoulder so softly it was more like a whisper of a touch. "Peyt, are you asleep?" he asked breaking the silence.

"Not quite," she murmured back to him. She snuggled in closer. "This is nice."

"Yeah it is." He lifted his head from its resting place on the couch's arm and pressed a kiss into the crown of her curls. "Do you want to talk?"

"We are talking," she replied jovially. Her hand was now idly drawing lazy and indistinct patterns on his chest. She raised her green orbs to meet with his serious icy blue ones.

"No," he said as his tone altered faintly. "I mean talk about stuff."

"Like what?" she mumbled back.

Lucas shrugged his shoulders slightly against her resting frame. "You know; like real stuff. I want to know everything about you Peyton. You know a lot about me and about my past. You've met my whole family. And I know almost nothing about you."

It had dawned on him long before he'd even begun 'seeing' her that while Peyton would engage and monopolise on conversations between them and talk for hours about whatever subject was brought up she'd steer clear away from certain things. He'd remembered in the first year he'd known her how she'd withdrawn from him, Haley and Nathan for a period of days. He'd found out only afterwards that it had been the anniversary of her mother's death. And on the occasions that she did answer sensitive questions on her past she preferred to gloss over the subject quickly and move on. Peyton Sawyer still remained a mystery in his eyes in so many ways.

"What do you want to know?" Peyton asked nervously.

Lucas had always been questioning and curious. He'd ask her things and she felt as though he was trying to probe at the entrance to her heart. He wanted to get in. She knew that. Their conversations were becoming more personal. He'd steer his questions towards her and as she answered them he'd pursue them further. He wanted to know everything about her. She just wasn't sure she was ready to tell him every small intimate detail.

"I don't know," Lucas said staring out at the night's sky. "Things like when your last relationship was. Why it ended."

Peyton shifted from him into a sitting position. She remained silent for a moment and decided on the best way to recount the story to him.

"His name was Michael," Peyton said after taking a deep shaking breath. "I met him in my final year at college. He was a musician. He was temperamental and passionate. I fell for him in a big way. Our relationship moved way too fast. We got engaged after a year. I was young and in love and I thought I always would be. My dad and Brooke both didn't like him. My dad didn't think he was good enough for me and Brooke just said that there was something about him. That should have tipped me off. But I didn't listen. I didn't want to I guess.

"Anyway we started to grow apart after I started work and he was away a lot on tours. One night when I came home early to surprise I found him in bed with someone else. He said it didn't mean anything. He told me it was just a moment of weakness. I called off the engagement. I couldn't face all of our friends knowing. I didn't want the shame and the pity so I moved away."

"I'm sorry Peyt," Lucas said softly after she had admitted to the truth of the demise of her relationship and why she had moved to Tree Hill. He watched as she pulled herself further from him and folded her legs underneath her body.

"It's ok," she looped her hair behind her ear. "Live and learn right?"

"Back in college," Lucas began saying. "I was in a steady relationship. Her name was Kirsten. In the first year we hung out. We'd dated on and off and slept together. It was kind of a friends with benefits thing. But she meant more to me than that. We were really alike and back then I thought of her as a soul mate. We got together in the beginning of the second year exclusively. It was great."

Peyton lifted her head as Lucas took a deep breath and she couldn't help but notice how his expression changed.

"During our final year Kirsten got pregnant. I was so happy and so excited. I proposed to her. I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. She said yes. Everything was great. It was perfect. I was going to marry my soul mate and we were going to have a baby." Lucas swallowed hard as he recounted the next part. "We moved in together just after graduation. Kirsten started doing these forgetful pregnant things. You know just like leaving things around. I found a letter. I know I shouldn't have read it.

"I remember reading the letter and my world fell apart. It said; I don't think you should tell Lucas that the baby may not be his. You're going to get married and you never know the baby might be his."

Peyton's hand reached to cover Lucas's as he paused. Her own head was trying to process the sensitive revelation that was flowing from him. His vulnerability made him even more endearing to her.

"I pretended I hadn't read it. I just pretended none of it was happening. I wanted her to come to me and tell me the truth. She didn't. She carried on as if everything was perfectly fine. But I think she knew though. Finally after Haley convinced me I needed to be honest with myself and with Kirsten aswell. I did confront her. I came home and asked her about it. She didn't deny it. She cried and admitted she'd been seeing her ex whilst going home for the summer. She told me she didn't know who the father was; though she and I had always used protection and admitted that she and her ex hadn't.

"The thing is it didn't matter to me. I loved her and I would have stood by her. I would have stayed with her Peyt. She wouldn't have it though. She left the next day."

Peyton stroked his hand as sadness overtook her. Lucas's story made her feel sad. He had been through more than she'd realised. But sharing their past histories and broken hearts also made her feel closer to him.

"The thing is," Lucas continued his voice thick with emotion. "After Kirsten and up until you came into my life Peyt I slept around. I didn't want to get attached again. Until you I didn't think I would ever feel this way again." His fingers brushed over the fine bones of her knuckles "But I do Peyt. And I don't want to lose this."

"Me either," Peyton said. The information and soul bearing confessions hung between them in the now heavy atmosphere in the room.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he lifted her chin in his cupped hand and their eyes interlocked. "I promise you."

"Come here," she replied pulling him close.

They lay back down together and Peyton snuggled in close to him. She'd missed his soft yet manly scent. She'd missed laying her head on his chest and falling asleep whilst listening to his steady rhythmic heartbeat. "Luke," she whispered.

"Yeah."

"I'm really happy. Being with you I mean."

Lucas smiled at her admission. "I'm really happy with you too Peyt."

Lucas Scott, the man she'd known as a charmer, friend, confidant and newly found lover continued to surprise her and was becoming so much more. She was falling for him. She could feel it. And what was even more wonderful and unexpected was she didn't want to run from him.