Hey Guys! This is Chapter 4 for my new story, and I know I should be working on my other one, but this one is stuck in my head and I just wanna write it! Also, I'm getting writers block on my other story, and you know the worst bit? Whenever I try to write something, and something else comes into my head, I have to start writing the new idea before I can start with my old one! I don't like it, but it happens alot, even when I draw, and it annoys me, but anyway, please R&R and I hope you enjoy!
WARNING: Contains slight mentions of suicide and also contain drugs. Also, if ya wanna know how I know how to roll a cigarette, also, you don't know my age since I haven't said it, but I'm young, so my friends would be surprised, let's just say I've seen my parents smoke tobacco, also, I'm not telling my age, and i do not support smoking or the use of drugs.
I know I told myself I could let them, him, go, but I can't.
It hurts too much. It hurts more than how I'm going to die.
And none of them know the truth.
I would've told grandpa, but he's in Egypt for a excavation and won't be back in time.
3 months.
He's been gone for 3 months.
And he'll be gone for another 4.
I found out 2 months ago.
I found out about the thing that will kill me, slowly and painfully.
And I don't mind.
As long as they don't know, they'll think I'm being a big jerk and won't care when I die.
But if they did find out, all of them, especially Yami, will want to stay by my side the whole time and will try and find a cure for it.
But there isn't one. There never will be. Sure, I can have a transplant, but I'm at the bottom of the list, which the waiting time would be 2 years.
But I don't have 2 years.
I'm lucky if I'll survive until grandpa comes back, and even that will be a miracle.
And so, I have to let them go. I don't want to hold them back with my condition.
And Yami.
It hurts letting him go, it hurts so much, but only because I love him so much, so I have to give up my own desires so he can be happy.
Happy with Tea.
I'll do anything to make him happy.
Even give up my life for him.
Which is funny, because I am.
He knew there was something up before I made everyone hate me.
He knew and he asked but I denied there ever being anything wrong.
I wonder if that was the right choice.
At the time I thought it was, but now, I'm starting to have doubts.
But it's too late now.
He's already gone.
Gone from the Game Shop.
Gone from my friendship.
Gone from me.
And it's my fault.
You want to know what's wrong with me, Yami?
Fine, I'll tell you, but only when I'm dead.
I can feel their glares as I walk into the classroom and sit at the back, away from them.
I close my eyes and look down.
It hurts. Alot.
Oh, no, not how they're looking at me, no.
My chest hurts. Right where the problem began.
My heart.
It's slowly deteariating.
In at least 2 months it'll completely shut down, killing me.
It'll be a miracle if I can survive 3 months, however, I know that'll never happen.
I'm just glad that I've said goodbye to grandpa, for I know I'll never see him again.
And I glad that due to my actions, my death won't upset the gang.
That's what I wanted.
Once you think about it, it doesn't make much sense, but to me it does.
And I just hope that my plan works.
The bell rings, signalling the start of class. I open my eyes and look up.
Miss Huronta-Sensei walks in and greets us.
I quietly sigh as she starts to write on the chalkboard.
Another boring lesson.
About 3/4 into the lesson, I feel a painful jap in my chest.
It hurts so much that I nearly pass out right there.
I shakily put up my hand.
Sensei stops talking and looks at me.
"Yes, Mr Mutou?" She asks me.
"Can I please go to the bathroom?" I ask.
She nods then turns back to the class and starts talking.
I stand up, but before I leave, I secretly grab a small cylinder container.
I thought no one saw. I was sure no one saw.
How wrong I was.
I didn't notice Yami looking at me when I grabbed it, I didn't notice when he saw what was in the container.
I never saw him nudge Joey and point to the cylinder I was secretly holding.
Then the same thing with Tea and Tristan.
I never noticed.
And that would be my downfall.
I rushed to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. Another jab of pain went through my chest and I almost fell.
I shakily grabbed the cylinder and opened it.
I shaked it and a few white capsules came out.
I think you can guess what it was.
Medicine.
Well, painkillers, to be exact.
My 'special' painkillers.
That's right.
Drugs.
I know I shouldn't go down that path, I know that I've promised Grandpa I would never, but it's too late now.
I've already gone down it.
And it's not too bad.
These pills are the only things that successfully stop the pain, even if only for a little while.
And it's not the only stuff i have as well.
You must be wondering how I got this.
Funny story, really.
I tricked Ushio into giving it to me.
He's still a little crazy from his and Yami's first encounter, and he did think leaves were money, so...
I gave him a heap of leaves, he thought it was money and he gave me the stuff.
Don't ask me where he gets it from, I have no idea.
Let's just say, however, he gave me a heap, so I'm pretty set.
Anyway, I popped 2 in my mouth, then swallowed, then another 2, and swallowed again.
I sunk to the ground letting the drugs take effect. Sure, it felt weird, but it helped with the pain.
I carefully put the pill container in my pocket. I'd have to put it back in my bag during the 5 minute period they give us in-between classes.
I sat there for a second. I wonder, if I hadn't pushed everyone away, would I still be here?
Would they be by my side still?
Or would they leave me the first chance they got?
I sighed. I'd really made a mess of things, but it was too late.
I stood up, and was about to unlock the cubicle when I heard the bathroom door open, and a Boston accent voice I knew very well saying "Yug'? Buddy, are ya in here?"
I froze and slowly walked back a few steps before I nearly fell over the toilet. I stopped myself in time, but not before I made a small squeak and some noise.
I heard footsteps coming towards my cubicle. They stopped right infront of the door. I heard the voice again, only this time it sounded more desperate.
"Please come out Yug'! We're worried about you! I know you're in here!"
I was frozen, not knowing what to do.
Should I open the door and risk being found out or not open the door and have Joey stay there.
Joey.
He always cares about his friends and would do anything for them.
But that's the thing.
I'm not his friend anymore.
I sighed. Guess I should try my first option, and if they do find out, they won't care, and if they do, there's always overdose. Or I could wait 2 months.
I slowly unlock the cubicle door and open it, and I stare right into honey eyes.
I look down at the floor and blink away the tears that threaten to fall, but I know they won't. I've cried too much, and now I don't have anymore.
I hear a sigh, only this time it's not from me.
"Yug', what are ya doing in here? You've been in here for 15 minutes!"
15 minutes.
Not the longest, but still long.
I shrugged, then made to push past him and go back to class, but he stops me and forces me to look at him.
"Yug', is there something wrong?"
Something wrong. Hmmmm... Of course there is, but i can't tell you.
I shake my head no, but he doesn't buy it.
He grabs my shoulders and shakes me.
"Yugi, I know something's wrong and you have to tell me! Please!"
Uh oh. He only calls me Yugi when I've done something wrong or he's serious.
But I can't tell him anything, and instead I snap.
"Nothing's wrong Joey! Anyway, if there were somethibg wrong, why would I tell a mutt like you?!" I yell at him.
He lets my shoulders go. I know I've made him angry, but that was my goal. He doesn't know of course, but I do.
His face goes red and he glares at me with hatred in his eyes.
He picks me up by the collar and raised my fist, aiming to punch me.
I smile for a second, but only a second, and a genuine smile.
I'm happy my plan is working.
"What did you call me?" He whispers dangerously.
I put on a fake sneer then say "I think you heard me, mutt."
That makes him snap he punches me in the face and I get pushed backwards into the wall. I smile, my eyes closed. I can feel my nose bleeding.
I feel in my pockets for my pill container just to make sure it's there when I feel nothing.
My smile quickly vanishes as I open my eyes and see Joey picking it up and opening it.
I panick. I should've gone with my second plan. But it's too late now.
Joey looks inside the container and I see him studying the pills. His facial expression goes from angry to surprised in second after I know he's realised what the pills are.
I slowly stand up, and he looks at me.
"Yug', what are ya doin' to yourself?!"
"Give them back to me!" I yell at him.
He shakes his head no.
"I can't let you do this to yourself." He whispers.
Tears start coming down my face, the first time for a while that it's happened. And it's the first time in a while that I've actually broken down.
"What do you care? You hate me, the gang hates me! You have to hate me! You have to hate me! You must hate me! You have to!" I yell at him while trying to wipe away my tears without results.
I keep repeating "You have to hate me!" like a mantra.
I suddenly stop shouting and run out of the bathroom, Joey calling my name, but I didn't listen. I don't care anymore.
I don't know what I want anymore.
Did I ever want anything other than Yami's love?
I don't think so, but even the one thing I want I don't get.
I'm so busy in my thoughts and trying to wipe away they tears that I didn't notice anyone infront of me until I ran into someone.
I muttered sorry and was about to run off again when the person grabbed my arm. I looked up at the person and was surprised to see Yami looking back at me, worry evident in his crimson eyes.
"Yugi..." He whispered, but I didn't stay to hear him speak. I wrenched my arm from his grip and started running again. I wasn't keeping track of where I was running to, but somehow I ended up at the Game Shop. I rushed in and locked the door just incase.
You never know if your ex-friends who you thought hated you could turn up.
I rushed into my room and shut the door. Just incase again, I locked my door.
I went over to the set of drawers i have and opened the top drawer. I went through clothes and some small old toys before I found what I was looking for.
I took out a small plastic bag and walked over to my bed. I opened the bag and pulled out some smoke papers and filters, a lighter and some green stuff.
I think you can guess what it is.
Anyway, I rolled one up like you do with tobacco and lit it. I started smoking it and my body relaxed.
If you're wondering why I'm smoking what I'm smoking, let's just say it helps me relax and once again, helps with the pain.
While I was still smoking it, I put everything but the lighter into the bag and put it back.
I held the lighter in my hand while a took another puff of the smoke. I put the lighter then turned if off, then I did it again and again and again. The whole time I was staring at the flame while taking puffs of my cigarette.
I don't know how long I was sitting there, but pretty soon, it was the end of school, but I, obviously, had ditched the second half of school. I put out my cigarette in a ash tray and lied down on my bed.
I thought about some stuff. I knew Joey would tell the others about the pills I had, and I cursed my carelessness. I doubt they'd care if I were taking drugs or not. They're supposed to hate me. Joey was just being nice, yeah, that's right. Nothing personal about it.
At least, that's what I kept telling myself.
I was going to see if I could fall asleep when, I don't know how I did, I heard someone banging on the shop door downstairs.
I was all set to ignore it when someone spoke.
"Yugi? Open up, please!"
I recognised that deep, baritone voice.
It was the voice of the person who I fell in love with, and I knew he wasn't alone.
What the hell is Yami and the gang doing here?
So, what did ya think? Yeah, I know that I kinda went straight in with the, I hate you after one argument thing, but it happens. Also, I know the breakdown thing with Yugi doesn't really seem like a breakdown, and even though I'm young, I've had one, and it was like that, and my friends had no idea what to do, so they were kind alike Joey, just standing there in shock, also, I didn't say the stuff that Yugi said, I think I said something along the lines of 'I want them to go away' and 'Make it stop'. Pretty weird, right? Also, if you don't like me saying stuff like this, then don't read it! Simple as that, also, some readers do actually like getting to know the authors, and with the breakdown thing, I got a lot better, I just needed to let some stuff out. Please R&R and I'll see you in the next chapter! Peace out!
