Case Docket 3 - Daily Life Under Enchantment

Satsuke woke up before the arachne, strangely well-rested. He noticed that she was curled up with one of her plushes snoring lightly. He also noticed that she had made a pair of silk lounge pants that, considering their source, were extremely comfortable. It occurred to him at that moment that he had become a lot less squeamish towards spider webs. He chalked this up to being around an arachne and her webs every day. His increasing fondness for Tara also helped him get over his squeamishness.

He opened the door quietly as to not wake Tara up, and slowly climbed down the ladder. However, the moment he closed the door above him, an all-too-familiar, condescending voice startled him: "Good morning, Nakamura-kun."

Satsuke yelped and fell backwards, finding himself on his back nearly looking up the skirt of Agent Smith. Her only reaction was to look down with that annoying smirk on her face. Whether it was because he fell or his current view, he couldn't tell. "I do hope you slept well," she said. She then turned and bent down, putting her face up to his, still smirking. "I also hope you weren't engaging in any prohibited activities. Imagine losing your job and your freedom because you had intimate relations with an arachne."

"Nothing happened," Nakamura replied with more than a little of an edge to his voice. "In fact, I spent all last night trying to avoid that happening, thank you very much!"

The agent then pointed down the hall to a pair of very sullen liminals, then helped him up. "I heard," she said with a smile devoid of any teasing.

"I'm sorry I got carried away, Coach," Piper said, her eyes downcast.

"Aye, Chum," Mako continued, "me behavior was unbecomin' of a cap'n. I already have me bags ready t' be packed if ye wish t' send me sailin'."

"Hold on," the policeman said, holding his hands up. "No one's getting kicked out, not if I have anything to say about it. Sure, things got a little crazy last night... okay a lot crazy, but that doesn't mean I want any of you to leave.

"It's like I said before: we're a family, and crazy things are bound to happen."

"Speaking of crazy," Smith interjected, "I've been told that you had an uninvited guest. I've also been told that you would be a good fit for our organization. We shall see about that.

"Anyways, shall we go meet your guest?" Smith concluded.

Soon, the group was down to the recently completed containment unit, complete with a viewing window. "Are you sure that will hold her?" Satsuke asked.

"Of course," Smith replied as if the answer were obvious. "This window is made from reinforced tempered glass 30 centimeters thick, and the entire room is solid steel."

Almost in response, the black slime launched itself against the glass. "See?" Smith said.

To the surprise of the group, it took the form of a girl approximately 10 years old. "Let me out!" the slime shouted in an oddly child-like voice.

"Yar," the mermaid remarked, "look who's decided t' talk."

"Who are you?" Satsuke asked.

"I have no name, Defiler!" it yelled, "and if I did, I wouldn't tell you!"

"What do we do with her, Smith?" Nakamura asked. "Even though she attacked me, I can't bear to confine her like that."

"Ye actually feel sorry fer it?" Mako asked incredulously.

"Well, well," the agent said with a wry grin, "looks like we have a big softie. You're worse than Darling-kun."

The policeman was reminded of Miia, and what she called that boy numerous times. "Are you referring to Kimohito?"

Smith chuckled obnoxiously. "I am," she replied. "He took in a slime, as well, although one that has a much friendlier temperament. Papi called her 'Suu,' so how about we call this one 'Guu.'"

"It's as good as any," the policeman responded with a shrug.

"I will get all the data we have on Suu, which hopefully will help you," the agent said seriously. "Still, be careful around that one. Suu attacks people only when she's dehydrated. This one actually seems to hate you."

The group was joined by the arachne, who looked into the chamber. "You people work fast," she muttered. "I'm surprised I didn't hear anything." She then peered through the glass and tapped on it, earning another splash of black slime in response. "Feisty, isn't it?" Speaking into the microphone, she yelled, "Cut the shit, Sludge. You're lucky we haven't turned you into a smear on the floor."

"Where did she come from, anyway?" Piper asked, playing with her hair.

"We've sent a sample to our labs," Smith replied, her tone still serious. "We will let you know when we find anything. Now, Softie-kun, take notes on everything she does. Bring her water periodically; we need to keep her hydrated if we are to study her.

"Now, let us go upstairs," the agent continued. "I have other matters I would like to discuss with the four of you."

The group sojourned to the living room where they all sat down, except Tara who had to crouch since none of the seats could accommodate one of her size, and Mako who was seated already. It didn't take long for Smith to address the group. "Now," she started, "I can't say I was pleased to learn about your behavior last night. The only reason an international incident didn't occur was Softie-kun's amazing self-control." She then grew angry. "You can't imagine the amount of paperwork I would've had to fill out. I'm not paid enough to deal with this!"

Is that the reason she's so angry? Satsuke mentally asked himself. "Luckily," she continued, "there have been numerous amendments to the Interspecies Exchange Act, including one to allow for marriage between humans and liminals."

The three girls gasped in response, while Satsuke felt his blood run cold. "As I'm sure Piper has said, lamiae depend on human males to propagate their species. This is true for arachnae, as well."

"Don't spiders eat their mates?" Piper asked. "Do you guys, as well?"

"Not for centuries," Tara replied with an angry glare. "We stopped when we realized what a bad idea it was when our populations started to seriously dwindle.

"Of course," she continued, "given the long stigma humans have against spiders, finding a suitable mate has met with minimal success, with our only willing partners being pathetic little vermin who can't find a human female who would mate with them."

"Yar, still hatin' humans, I see," Mako chuckled.

"I've met only one I like and one I can barely tolerate," she growled. "That's not very good odds for my kind or theirs." She then grabbed Satsuke by the collar and roughly yanked him to eye level, close enough to feel her breath on his face. "Consider yourself fortunate, Fuzz," she snarled, but not without a surreptitious wink of one of her eyes. "I'm watching you."

"Well, if you don't want him, I'll take him," Piper said, her eyes wide and her smile even wider.

"Shut it, Knucklehead," Tara yelled as she picked up the echidna by the tail and threw her into a wall.

Smith put a hand to her lips to stifle her laughter. "If I may continue," she said, clearing her throat, "we already set up one test case. However, the results have been, shall we say, less than successful, so, we will not force Softie-kun into it." The agent looked to Satsuke. "If feelings for any of the girls in your household develop, we will not only allow the relationship, but we will sanction it.

"By the way," she said, "we have decided to allow for limited trips outside for the three of you. As I've said before, Softie-kun has reported remarkable progress in you girls. The only injuries we've noted have been between the three of you and not Softie-kun. Keeping that in mind, we will be sending visitors to determine if you all are ready, the first being for Mako."

Smith gathered her paperwork and left. "Do your best!"

The silence was palpable after the agent left, until a weak voice came from the other end of the living room. "But why...?" Piper groaned as she fell to the floor.

"Now, girls," Nakamura said, "I have to get ready for work. I don't want to see this house destroyed when I get home. Am I clear?"

"Aye aye, Chum!"

"Whatever, Fuzz."

"Ow, my head."

Satsuke's mind whirled as he put on his uniform, constantly mulling over what Smith had said to the group. His legs were sore by the time he arrived at the park. Despite the soreness, he was able to keep his mind on his patrol. However, it distracted him to the point where he didn't notice the shadow that was looming above him. Suddenly, he felt himself being picked up roughly by the arms and lifted skyward.

He looked and saw sharp talons attached to red scales gripping him tightly. Looking up, he saw what looked like a scaled harpy with pink hair wearing torn overalls. "Let me go this instant!" Satsuke shouted.

Suddenly, he felt himself plummeting to the ground only to be picked up again, this time by the harpy who lived with Kimohito. "You okay?" she chirped. "Why are you trying to fly? Seems kind of silly, you know."

"Just please put me down, Papi," he moaned.

Soon, the policeman was brought down and was dropped roughly onto the ground from a safe distance where Smith and Tionishia waited for him. "Oh no, are you okay, Satsi-kun?" she asked frantically before grabbing him and smothering him in her oversized bust.

He struggled at first until he felt himself becoming especially calm, given what he had just been through. She then released him when she saw his face turning blue. "Sorry, Satsi-kun," Tionishia cried.

"I should warn you that ogres tend to have a calming effect on others, although it seemed to be exactly what you needed after what happened," Smith said

Nakamura was gob smacked. He thought that ogres were supposed to be hulking beasts with temperaments uglier than their faces. This girl was not only adorable, but an absolute sweetheart. "What was that?" Satsuke asked when his head cleared. "What just happened?"

"That," Smith said, "was a wyvern. We haven't seen that many of them here at the agency, but the few we have encountered have caused us problems not unlike what you just experienced. Thankfully, none of the people were seriously harmed. You're lucky that Darling-kun saw you when he did and sent Papi. We will be on the lookout for her and deal with her accordingly."

"Thank you, Smith-san," the policeman said after dusting himself off.

"Hey, Officer Cutie!" a voice called from a distance. "You okay? I've got your bike!"

The group was soon joined by the kobold riding up to them on Nakamura's bicycle. "I see you're already acquainted with Polt," Smith said with her ever-present smirk.

"I'm fine, thank you, Polt," he replied.

The kobold clapped him on the arm. "Glad to hear it," Polt responded. "Gotta watch out for those wyverns. Anyways, better take off. A businesswoman's work is never done!" the kobold said before taking off running.

"I need to get back to my patrols," Satsuke responded after catching his breath. "Thanks again."

"I'll meet you back at your house after your shift," the agent said. "I've arranged a visitor for Mako, and we need your supervision."

"Understood," the policeman said before riding off.

He came home a few hours later and collapsed on the couch, soon to be joined by Mako. "Ahoy, Chum!" she greeted him with a toothy grin. "Heard ye 'ad a bit o' excitement."

"Don't remind me," Satsuke groaned.

"Don't ye worry," she said. "If I find who did it, I'll run 'im through with me sword. No one 'urts me Chum an' gets away with it."

"Calm down, Mako," Satsuke said with a warm smile. "You don't want to jeopardize your chance to go out."

As if on cue, the door opened, and soon Smith walked in pushing a wheelchair. On that wheelchair sat the mermaid called Mero. "Dear Officer," she warmly greeted. "It's a pleasure to see you again."

"Well, if it ain't Merouine Lorelei du Neptune," Mako spat the name as if it were a curse. "What makes ye grace us with yer royal presence."

"Dear Cousin!" Mero said elatedly. "I heard there was one of the shark-folk here, but I could scarcely believe it. I'm overjoyed to finally meet you!"

"Aye," she responded gruffly. "'Ye're lucky I made a promise t' me dad that I'd be pleasant t' ye Beautiful Ones."

The smile never left Mero's face. "I've heard so many stories about the shark merfolk. The adventure, the excitement... I do hope you can share some with me."

"Ye'll get nothin' from me, ye watery tart!" Mako growled, her voice getting louder. "I ain't no prancin' dolphin 'ere t' entertain ye."

"I've been told of how the shark-folk feel about us," she responded softly, reaching for the other mermaid's hand. "Rest assured, Dear Cousin, I wish for nothing but friendship with you."

"Stop callin' me yer 'cousin!'" Mako yelled as she pulled her hand away. "Ye ain't no family t' me!"

"What do you know of your mother?" Mero asked without missing a beat.

"If ye must know," the other mermaid replied with a sneer, "me mum was a mean piece o' work. Couldn't do nothin' right, accordin' to 'er. All I heard from 'er was that I weren't no daughter of 'ers. Ne'er liked 'er an' ain't plannin' on startin'."

"Actually," Mero said softly, a frown on her lips, "your mother loved you very much. Her deepest regret was that she could never be there for you, or hold you in her arms. She also deeply loved your father."

"What're ye on about?" Mako responded, taken aback.

"As I said," Mero replied, her eyes becoming wet with tears, "my mother's sister loved you and your father very much, and it crushed her that she couldn't be there for you. In life, my family cast her out, but her tragic life was praised after her death. She died of a broken heart.

"When I found out that you were here, I knew in my heart that I needed to meet you," she continued. "I needed to see for myself."

Tears began rolling down Mako's cheeks. "Ye're not lyin' t' me, are ye?"

Mero reached out for the other mermaid, who fell into her arms weeping openly. "Please don't hate her, Dear Cousin," Mero said softly.

Satsuke held out a handkerchief, which Mako gladly took. "You look like her," Mero continued, smiling sweetly. "You have your father's eyes and his teeth, of course." She then turned to Satsuke and said, "Dear Officer, please do let her go and feel the sun against her face and the ocean in her gills.

"All I ask, Dear Cousin, is for you to visit me so you can share stories with me. You can meet my Dear Sir and my friends, as well."

Mako smiled after wiping away her tears. "Aye, I can do that fer ye," she said. "I'll tell ye some o' th' tall tales me dad told me on 'is fin when I was a wee guppy... since ye're family an' all."

"Dear Officer, please take care of her and be a good friend to her," Mero said to Satsuke, putting a hand on his arm.

Mako laughed raucously. "Ye needn't worry 'bout me Chum!" she said, clapping him on the back. "He's th' best shipmate a pirate can ask fer.

"An' Yer Highness?" Mako continued.

"Please," she replied, "call me 'Mero.'"

"Thanks fer tellin' me, Mero. If ye 'ave a picture o' me real mum, I'd like t' have one."

It was Smith who opened her briefcase and handed a small framed picture bearing the image of a beautiful mermaid with sad eyes. Satsuke saw that, true to Mero's word, the mermaid in the picture bore more than a passing resemblance to Mako. "We must be going," the agent said, unusually subdued. "We'll be in touch."

After they left, Mako looked up at Satsuke. "Chum," she said softly, tears starting to flow from her eyes again, "Can ye wheel me downstairs? I'm gonna need some time t' meself, if ye don't mind."

"Of course, Mako," he said with a smile. "I'll bring your dinner down for you, if you'd like. I'll be coming down to check on you, and to see if you need anything."

What I need is fer ye t' hold me. "Aye, Chum," she responded softly.

The policeman wheeled the despondent mermaid to her room, then closed the door gently behind him, shooing away Piper and Tara, who had come downstairs. "What's going on?" Piper asked. "What's wrong with Mako?"

"Leave her alone for a while," Satsuke replied firmly. "She'll talk about it when she's ready."

"But..."

"He told you to leave her alone, Knucklehead!" Tara barked.

The echidna bowed her head, then slithered away. After an awkward silence, Tara asked, "Was I too harsh?"

"She's worried," Satsuke replied, "and so are you."

"Yeah," the arachne said softly. "I'll go apologize to her."

"Gently?"

Tara looked at him and smiled warmly. "Yeah," she said. "As long as I get to throw her after."

Satsuke simply chuckled and shook his head as the pair walked up the stairs.

A heavy pall hung over the group during dinner, each concerned for their normally jovial friend. "It feels weird," Piper said. "I miss her dirty jokes, as terrible as they were."

"Let's not talk about it, Knucklehead," Tara grumbled.

The girls decided to turn in early for the night, not wishing to endure the awkward silence. Satsuke gathered the rest of dinner and brought it down to Mako's room. "Your dinner's here if you're hungry," he called after knocking on her door.

In response, he heard the wailing of a mermaid grieving the mother she never knew. He tried the knob, only to find it locked. All the young man could do was shake his head, unable to do anything for his friend and unknowing as to what to do.

x

The next day saw Satsuke making breakfast deep in thought when Tara scuttled in. "Did Fish Face ever come out?" she asked.

"No, she didn't," the policeman replied. "I'm sure she'll be fine, though."

He looked over and saw the concerned expression on the arachne's face. "She'll be fine," he repeated.

"Ahoy friends," Mako said softly as she wheeled in. "What's fer breakfast?"

"Eggs, fish, and chicken with rice," he replied.

"Jus' a little bit fer me," the mermaid said. "Not really 'ungry."

"You're starting to worry me, Fish Face," the arachne said.

"I'm fine, Legs," Mako said, smiling warmly. "Got a lot on me mind, is all. Chum, I know ye were gonna take me out, but I think I'm gonna pass. Don't much feel like it."

"Too bad," Satsuke responded. "I was thinking of taking you fishing. Thought maybe some fresh air will do you good."

"Yeah, Fish Face," Tara growled, "you're bringing everyone down."

Mako looked up at Tara with a hurt expression, which shocked the arachne. "Sorry, Mako," she said softly. "Seriously, let Fuzz take you out. It'll make you feel better."

The mermaid smiled. "No hard feelin's, Legs. I know ye care, in yer own way."

"Yeah, whatever," the arachne muttered.

The mermaid then looked up at Satsuke. "So, where ye takin' me, anyway," she asked.

"It's a surprise," he said enthusiastically. When a car horn sounded, he said, "And that would be our ride. Tara, I trust you can handle things while we're gone?"

As if in response, they heard Piper shrieking, "Stop doing that! That's just gross!"

"And please," he said, "don't throw Piper into any walls."

"I make no promises," the arachne growled softly, but not without a wink and a smile. "Now get the Hell out of here."

The policeman blindfolded Mako and wheeled her to the car. When he put her in the seat, he was surprised at how light she was. Soon, they arrived at a dock near a fishing boat. "Is that smell what I think it is?" Mako asked, excitement growing in her voice.

"You just wait, Mako," Satsuke said as he wheeled her on board.

After a half hour out, Mako yelled, "Bloody 'ell, Chum, lemme see!" She ripped off the blindfold, and her mouth went agape when she saw that they were at the open sea.

"Surprise!" Nakamura said, his hand on the mermaid's shoulder. "Now, jump in and have fun."

The mermaid needed no further encouragement as she pulled her clothes off and dove in before Satsuke could say another word, knocking him to the floor of the boat with her tail. It didn't take long before he saw violent splashing and the water turning red. This went on several times until Mako floated to the surface on her back with a hand on her belly and a smile on her face. After a loud, satisfied belch, she said, "Yar, Chum. Ye sure know 'ow t' show a girl a good time. When ye said ye were takin' me fishin', I 'ad no idea that this was what ye meant."

"Are you ready to go, or would you like to swim some more?"

Without another word, she dove back in, then jumped out of the water, landing in the policeman's arms. The helmsman of the boat quickly brought a towel to cover up the mermaid before Satsuke could get a good look to prevent a nosebleed. "This is th' perfect way t' end a perfect day, Chum," she said as she put her arms around him. "A good feedin' frenzy and bein' carried like a princess."

"I'm glad you had a good day, Mako," he responded. "I'll get your clothes, and we can go home."

"Would ye mind wheelin' me home? I don't want this day to end."

"Sure," he said. "We're not terribly far."

The pair were strolling home not long after they reached land. Mako was humming a jaunty tune when they happened upon a couple that Satsuke had heard about. The man had bleached blonde hair and had a well-worn bomber jacket. The woman's hair was also bleached blonde, which was styled in a frizzy perm. She had layers of dark make-up on her face in the ganguro fashion. "Oh my God!" the man yelled with raucous laughter.

"That is the ugliest mermaid I've ever seen!" his companion added, laughing cruelly.

"I didn't know it was Shark Week! If I had known, I would've brought my harpoon!"

"It looks like her boyfriend has a harpoon already, if you know what I mean!"

"I'll give ye one warnin', matey," Mako growled. "Say what ye will about me, but leave me Chum out o' it."

The man laughed even harder. "Oh my God, she thinks she's a pirate! Well, have at ye, Captain Sparrow!"

"Now ye done it, ye bastard," the mermaid snarled. "I'll run ye through fer that."

"Easy, Mako," Satsuke said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Let me handle them." With that, he walked up to the couple and said, "I feel that the way you are speaking to her is highly improper. I must ask you to apologize to her and be on your way."

The woman fell to her knees clutching her stomach, laughing even harder. "Looks like her boyfriend's trying to defend her honor!"

"Honor?" The man cackled. "Pirates have honor?!"

Nakamura pulled out his badge. "I'll ask you again to please apologize to our guest and be on your way."

The man turned serious. "Oh yeah?" the racist said. "What're you gonna do, arrest me?"

Satsuke smiled. "Go ahead... make my day... punk!"

The man threw a punch which, thanks to the policeman's training at the academy, he could dodge easily. Nakamura then threw a punch directly into the man's kidneys, making him urinate in his pants. "Now, please be on your way, and maybe I won't have you arrested for attacking a police officer," he said politely. "Before you go, please apologize to our guest for your rude behavior."

"Sorry," he rasped before stumbling away, his girlfriend yelling at him the entire time.

"Shall we go?" Satsuke asked.

The mermaid, who was rendered speechless, simply nodded.

The pair arrived at the house just before dark. The policeman made dinner for Tara and Piper while Mako took a shower to clean the salt off her body. "Why isn't Mako joining us?" the echidna asked.

"Oh, she already ate," Satsuke replied with a smile.

"She looks like she had a good time," the arachne said softly.

The policeman looked up, and saw Tara picking at her food with a sad look on her face. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine," Tara replied. "If I may be excused, I don't have much of an appetite."

Piper and Satsuke watched as the arachne slowly scuttled away to her room. "Should I go after her?" the echidna asked.

"No," the young man said, "we just had the walls repaired yesterday."

"I'm worried about her, Coach," Piper said. "She was kinda mopey all day."

"I'm sure it's nothing."

"Coach, she didn't throw me at all while you and Mako were gone," the echidna retorted. "Something's wrong."

"Hopefully our outing tomorrow will make her feel better," the young man said. "Which reminds me; I would like your help in getting ready." He pulled out his phone and brought up a photograph. "Can you make me look like this?"

Piper looked at the picture, then looked at Satsuke. "I'll make you look even better," she said with a big smile. The echidna then squealed. "I can't wait! Tara won't be able to resist you."

"Thank you, Piper," the young man said as he finished eating.

After washing the dishes and putting Tara's dinner in the refrigerator, Satsuke went down into the basement and turned on Guu's bath so she could hydrate herself. The slime simply shot a jet of sludge at the window in response. He couldn't be sure, but Guu seemed slightly more translucent. At this point, she walked over to the window and tapped on it. "Hello, Guu," the policeman said through the microphone. "How are you feeling?"

"When will you release me, Defiler?" she asked.

"Hopefully soon," he replied sincerely. "We need to make sure you won't harm anyone."

Her eyes glowed red, and bore into his. Then, without a word, she snaked a feeler into the tub and promptly drained it dry. "Whether you believe me or not, Guu," he said, "I would like us to be friends."

Her only response was to continue glaring at him, but her expression was more of confusion rather than anger or hatred. "Ye feel sorry for 'er, don't ye."

Satsuke looked over and saw Mako sitting next to him in her wheelchair. "I can't help it," he replied. "How would you feel if you were trapped in a steel container?"

"Even after she attacked ye?" she asked, her tone without judgment.

"She called me 'Defiler,'" he said. "I want to know why."

The mermaid smiled. "Smith's right: ye're too much of a softie," she said as she stroked his back. "That's why ye're one o' th' good ones. Can we talk alone?"

"Sure," the policeman said with a nod, and wheeled her into her room. When the door was closed, he asked, "What's on your mind?"

"Why'd ye do what ye did earlier?" she asked bluntly. "Ye know, rough up them hooligans?"

Satsuke knelt so he could meet her at eye-level. "They were behaving shamefully towards not only the shark merfolk's representative, but also a woman, and my friend," he replied officiously. "I tried to resolve the situation peacefully, but that young man left me with no alternative.

"Besides, people like that aren't worth you getting deported over," he concluded, the smile never leaving his face.

"No one's e'er done that fer me," Mako said softly. "Ne'er defended me honor, ne'er took me out so I can 'ave a frenzy… ne'er treated me like a woman." She then reached out and embraced him. "Thank ye, Satsuke. Ye made me really happy today."

"I'm glad, Mako."

"Mala."

Nakamura looked at the mermaid. "What?"

"That's th' name me dad gave me," she said when she released him. "I only let people I love call me by that name."

"So why 'Mako?'" Satsuke asked. Did she just tell me that she loves me? he thought to himself.

"Well, Mala's not much of a pirate name, innit?" she replied boisterously. "None feared Edward Teach, but they sailed far as they could when they heard th' name 'Blackbeard.' So ye canna expect people t' be shakin' in their fins when they 'ear th' name 'Mala O'Porbeagle,' can ye? So, I took th' name 'Mako th' Merciless.' Has a nice ring t' it, don't ye think?"

The policeman laughed. "I suppose it does," he replied. "Thank you, Mala."

The mermaid wheeled over to her bureau and pulled something out, then wheeled back to him. Revealing that it was what looked like one of her teeth, she said, "Hold out yer hand."

When he complied, she took the tooth and slashed his hand with it, causing him to wince in pain. "What did you do that for?" he cried.

She said nothing, and then did the same with her own hand, then clasped his injured hand. "We're now bonded by blood, Chum," Mala said, her tone serious. "This means that we're bound forever, that we shall always be shipmates an' companions. This means that, no matter if it's ragin' storms or smooth sailin', I'll always be 'ere for ye, no matter what. This means that, if ye'll 'ave me, I'll gladly be yer lover. If ye choose someone other than me, someone like Legs or even Pipes, while me heart may break, we'll always be friends.

"Will ye accept me loyalty, Satsuke Nakamura?" Mala concluded. "Will ye accept me friendship?"

"Aye aye, Captain O'Porbeagle," Satsuke said with a smile. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to bandage my hand."

The mermaid nodded. "Of course, Chum," she said. "G'night."

Satsuke walked up the stairs and went into the bathroom, relieved that he didn't run into Tara or Piper on the way. He didn't want to have to explain why his hand was bleeding. After cleaning the wound, he was glad that, while he knew it would leave a scar, he wouldn't need stitches. She loves me? he mentally asked himself. I couldn't even get a date while at I was in high school!

Piper was in her bedroom by the time he had gotten out of the bathroom. He could hear rock music blaring from her bedroom. As he walked towards his own bedroom, he heard the faint sounds of weeping from the attic. "Tara," he whispered.

He went over to his bed and collapsed on his mattress. Despite his mind being in a whirlwind, and an uneasy feeling in his stomach, he was able to quickly fall asleep.

x

Satsuke and Smith were looking through the window of Guu's chamber the following morning. The black slime stared back at them, occasionally pounding on the window. For the first time since he met the irritating agent, he was relieved that she was there. Her presence helped take his mind off the thoughts that had been nagging at him the night before. "So, what have you learned about her?" Nakamura asked.

"All we've learned from our analyses is that some of her chemical composition matches water samples from Fukushima," the agent replied grimly.

The policeman went pale. "No wonder she attacked us," he responded. "She's probably gone completely mad." He then grabbed Smith's shoulder. "Is she radioactive?" Satsuke asked.

"Amazingly, no," she replied, gently taking his hand off her. "We did Geiger counter readings and the findings were negligible, and non-existent on Piper, who was the only one of you who made physical contact. To be honest, we're stumped as to why this is the case. It must be something about a slime's physiology.

"However," Smith concluded, "her body is still acidic, so touching her is still a bad idea."

Satsuke nodded. "Guu," he said through the microphone, "I understand your anger, and I agree with you."

The slime arched an eyebrow. "We are doing what we can to clean up what happened," he continued. "It may not be enough now, but our efforts are continuous. Believe me when I tell you, I am so sorry for what happened to you."

Guu simply stared in response. Nakamura started to turn away to leave when the slime knocked firmly on the glass. "Yes, Guu?" Satsuke said.

"Give me your thoughts," she replied. "No harm will come to you."

The policeman turned off the mic and looked to Smith. She shrugged and said, "It's your funeral."

"I'm a police officer," was his response. "Risk is part of my job. Still, you have the sprinkler control. If she tries to melt me or absorb me, turn it on."

Smith nodded and opened the door for Satsuke when he stood in front of it. He then nervously entered the room and walked up to Guu, who closed her eyes and put out a feeler, attaching it to his head. He felt it burn his skin, but not unbearably so. After the longest thirty seconds of his life, she released him and looked him in the eyes. "You will need ointment for your skin, and soon," she said flatly. "Your words are sincere, if misguided. I will not attack you unprovoked."

"And the others?"

"They are not defilers. They are fools, especially the echidna. Now go, before the burns get worse."

Satsuke nodded, then looked to Smith, who opened the door. "I'll be back," he said. "You have my word."

"I believe you, human."

When the policeman left the chamber, he looked to Smith and said, "I think she's ready to be let out."

"We'll need to detoxify her first for your safety, or at least cover her up," the agent responded.

"I have an old raincoat and rubber boots in the closet by the door, and rubber gloves under the sink," he said with a smile. "Now, I need to get to the bathroom. My skin is really starting to hurt."

"Already on it, Coach!" Piper said from the middle of the stairs, who wrapped her tail around his neck and dragged him roughly towards the washroom.

Soon, the trio were joined by Tara and Mala as antibiotic ointment was rubbed on his face. "What the 'ell were ye thinkin', Chum?!" the mermaid asked incredulously. "She coulda killed ye!"

"Yeah, Fuzz," Tara glowered. "There's compassion and then there's stupidity."

"Actually," Smith interjected, "Softie-kun took precautions. If something were to happen, I would've turned on the sprinklers. Thankfully, all he got for his troubles were a few blisters."

Mala smiled. "That's me Chum," she said. "So, what 'ave ye learned?"

Smith and Nakamura explained the slime's possible origins, and the plans they had. "She needs help," Satsuke concluded.

Before the others could protest, Smith added, "If anyone could help her, it's Softie-kun. After all, he's done wonders for three troubled girls that I happen to know."

After an awkward pause, Tara said, "Fine. I'm not thrilled with the idea, though."

"We'll be doing a final analysis to see if rubber can withstand her acidity. In the meantime, Tara, you need to get yourself ready for your outing with Softie-kun."

The arachne's six eyes went wide. "You've made incredible progress well beyond anyone's expectations, after all," the agent continued with a wry grin. "While we couldn't arrange for anyone to meet you, Softie-kun has spoken very highly of you and has recommended something special for you."

All Tara could do was stand with her mouth agape. "Yar, this be th' first time I e'er seen Legs rendered speechless."

"I suggest you go to your room and start making yourself pretty," Smith said with a wink.

"Yeah," Tara rasped, her mouth dry. "Yeah, sure." It's actually happening! she giddily thought to herself.

The arachne's mind whirled and her heart pounded as slowly scuttled toward the attic. When she arrived in her bedroom, her stoic façade disappeared, replaced by a squeal of joy. What do I wear? she asked herself mentally. I wish I knew where he was taking me.

The hairs on Tara's lower body bristled with anticipation as she started getting undressed. She had just finished putting her underwear on when she was startled by a voice behind her. "Looks like little Tara has a date tonight," the voice purred.

The large arachne quickly composed herself. "Well," she growled softly, "if it isn't Rachnera Arachnera." She then turned around and got in close to her visitor. "And what have I done for you to grace me with your presence?" she snarled with a grin, revealing her fangs threateningly.

Tara's uninvited guest was another arachne. The one called Rachnera was comparatively smaller, while still much taller than most humans. Her spider half was completely hairless, with a skull marking on her lower abdomen. Her human half was that of a stunning, voluptuous woman with chin-length lavender hair and six red eyes. Her choice of clothing was much more provocative compared to Tara's, leaving little to the imagination. While Rachnera kept a cool and haughty expression on her face, the larger arachne was one of the few people she had any real fear of. She knew that Tara, while not possessing as short of a temper as others of her breed, was still dangerous, thus Rachnera knew better than to push her luck. "I hear that little Tara has found a human she's allowed to live," Rachnera said with a grin. "That's not like you."

Tara had loathed the smaller arachne since the day they met. Tara heard about how the smaller breed can be arrogant and manipulative, which Rachnera confirmed the moment she opened her mouth. However, the pair had a mutual understanding, given their similar experiences as having aspects of creatures loathed by much of humanity. "Fuzz is tolerable," she muttered, "and your human?"

"Oh, Honey's an absolute doll," Rachnera said with a smile that made Tara want to punch her. "He is so much fun to play with."

"How like your kind," Tara responded, "always playing with their food. So, what do you want?"

"I couldn't help but overhear what that bimbo from the Organization and your pet human were talking about. Since I know you're not so experienced in such matters, I thought I can give you some pointers."

Tara grabbed the other arachne by the throat and lifted her up, putting her face within centimeters of the other's. "What. Do. You. Want?!"

Rachnera pried the large arachne's claws away and caught her breath, then looked at Tara. "I want to help you," she said sincerely. "This human seems to be the only one who's ever treated you well, so I want to help you have a good time."

Tara smiled. As much as she hated Rachnera for her condescending nature, she knew that the smaller arachne wasn't a liar. "Now," Rachnera said in a serious tone, "I don't want to ruin the surprise. I just need you to trust me."

"Fine," Tara grumbled. After hearing footsteps below the attic, she whispered, "Keep it down, though. Now, what do I do?"

Later that evening, Piper sat with Satsuke helping him get ready. "Oh my god, I'm so jealous," she said dramatically. "When's it gonna be my turn?"

"It will come soon enough, Piper," the young man replied. "I do appreciate your help."

"It's nothing, Coach," the echidna said softly, a tinge of sadness in her voice. "Tara can be really mean sometimes, but she does like you. I can see how she looks at you when she thinks no one's looking."

"You do tend to push her buttons, you know," Satsuke said with a smile.

"You're right, Coach," Piper said with a sigh. She then slithered back to get a good look, then smiled. "Now I am jealous," she said. "You look gorgeous."

She then turned him to look at a mirror, of which he said, "I look ridiculous."

"Trust me, Coach," the lamia said, "if she's anything like you say she is, she'll love it."

While this all was happening, Mala sat in her chair becoming impatient. She saw Tara scuttle quickly to the bathroom carrying a clothes hanger with opaque plastic obscuring what adorned it, slamming the door behind her. Like Piper, she was also jealous of Tara, but unlike the echidna, the mermaid also felt excited for both Satsuke and the arachne, since she cared deeply for both. She knew that Nakamura would have something special planned. Soon, she heard footsteps coming down from the stairs, so she wheeled herself as fast as she could. What she saw was a tall bishonen with finely coifed hair, a ruffled satin shirt, tight leather pants, and platform boots. She scarcely recognized this man as Satsuke Nakamura. She couldn't resist giving a wolf-whistle as he walked down the stairs. "Lookin' good, Chum!" she yelled. "I could jus' eat ye up!"

The policeman covered his face to hide his blushing until the group heard a voice from the bathroom call, "If any of you laugh, I swear I will fucking kill you."

"Come out, Tara," Nakamura said as he stood outside the door.

The sight that greeted the two of them made both their hearts skip a beat. The arachne's hair, while still wild, looked intentionally so. Her normally tan skin was slightly pale and airbrushed smooth, and her full lips were deep red. Her clothes were uncharacteristically elegant, accented with bows and lace. He noticed that, with his boots on, he was almost as tall as she was. "You're beautiful," he said breathlessly.

"So are you," the arachne responded softly. She then cleared her throat and continued, "So where are we going all dressed up like this."

"It's a surprise," he said with a smile.

"Trust me, Legs!" Mala shouted. "Chum's got real good surprises!"

A horn sounded from outside, of which Nakamura said as smoothly as he could, "Our ride awaits."

He then took Tara by a claw and led her outside to see what looked like a box truck that had been converted into a limousine. The pair boarded, and were soon brought to what looked like a large warehouse. "What the Hell is this, Fuzz?" the arachne growled, seemingly back to normal.

"Trust me, Tara," was all he would say.

The pair were met by the ever-smiling face of Polt the kobold. "Hey, it's Officer Cutie reporting for duty, and damn, he's a beauty!" She then extended a hand to Tara and said, "And you must be Tara! I bid you welcome to opening night of Polt's Liminal Lounge! You see, most clubs simply can't accommodate the larger folks, so this is where I come in! It's not right that bigger girls like you don't get to enjoy live music.

"Sure, it doesn't look like much," Polt added, "but I needed to get this place up to code first."

"So, who's playing tonight?" the arachne asked, the edge never leaving her voice.

"Judging by your sweet clothes, you might dig them," the kobold said with her infectious enthusiasm. "The first band's called Sanguine Solstice. They're a little too metal for my tastes, but their singer is gorgeous. The other's called Fin du Monde. If you like Moi Dix Mois, you'll probably like them. Anyways, I gotta go back in. You two lovebirds are early, so come in, have a couple of drinks and enjoy!"

After Polt closed the door behind her, Tara got right up to Satsuke's face and bared her fangs. "How many people did you tell?" she snarled.

"I had to tell Smith so I could arrange for tonight," the young man replied, his eyes wide with fear. "I also needed to tell Piper so she could help me get ready. I'm sorry!"

"So, let me get this straight," the arachne said, her tone grimmer, "you told Knucklehead and that agent puta one of my deepest secrets just so you could take me to some damned Visual Kei show at a dingy warehouse?"

Satsuke gulped. "Ummm… yeah?"

Suddenly, Tara smiled sweetly and hugged him, burying his face into her ample cleavage. "You're the best, Fuzz," she said. "That's the coolest thing anyone's ever done for me."

When she released him and he caught his breath, Satsuke said, "Let's go in. I'll buy you an iced latte."

A few hours later, the pair left the club followed by a very tall and well-muscled horned woman with blue skin, and a human of indeterminate gender. "Hey, Tara," the oni said perkily, "it was so cool to meet you! We oughta hang out sometime!"

"Damned right, Oniko," replied the grinning arachne. "We're so lucky to have such cool hosts."

"Go home, spider, you're drunk," Oniko laughed.

"I'm so not drunk," the arachne snarled, then stumbled a little. She then giggled and said, "Okay, maybe a little."

"Come, Tara," Satsuke said when the converted truck arrived, "let's go home." He then turned to the oni's host and said, "I'm glad this place exists. Besides, I haven't been to a show since high school."

"I know, right?" the other human said in a masculine voice. "It's good to cut loose every now and then." He then looked to Oniko and said, "Our new friends need this."

Satsuke extended his hand. "It's good to have met you, Hiroshi-san."

Hiroshi shook hands and replied, "Likewise, Officer Nakamura. Anyways, I'm going to walk Oniko home and get some sleep. I have to work tomorrow morning!"

"Of course," the policeman said. "Now be good and stay safe!"

Soon, the truck arrived at their house and the pair stood outside the door. "Thank you for a great time, Fuzz," Tara said, smiling sweetly, "and remind me to thank that kobold. Before tonight, I resigned myself to never getting to see a band play."

"It was my pleasure, Tara," Satsuke replied.

The arachne turned serious. "Look, I have a lot I want to say," she said softly, "but I really don't know how. Fuck, this might just be the latte talking. All I can say is that you're something that's never happened to me before. You're the only person I've known that's never treated me like either a freak or some sick fetish. You treat me like I'm just a regular girl.

"You're really sweet, Satsuke," Tara continued, "and I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you."

"Think nothing of it, Tara," the young man said with a smile, taking a claw in his hand.

The pair stood silently for what felt like an eternity. Is this the part where I'm supposed to kiss her? Satsuke mentally asked himself. Is kissing prohibited? Suddenly, a slurring, raucous voice shouted, "Oh bloody 'ell, kiss already!"

The pair turned to the window to see a grinning mermaid in the window holding a mostly-empty rum bottle. Guess I'll never know, he thought. The arachne tried to look angry, then started laughing. "Come," Satsuke said, "let's go inside. Maybe next time, I'll take you to see ANM48."

"You're way too good to me, Fuzz," Tara responded with a grin.

The first thing Satsuke did when he came in was take the platform boots off his aching feet. He then excused himself so he could take a shower and go to bed. Piper looked especially sullen as Tara excitedly told Mala about the show. The mermaid then looked over at the echidna and, seeing her sad expression, gestured that the two of them should go downstairs to talk about the rest. She then wheeled herself over Piper and put a webbed hand on her arm, smiling understandingly. "Yer turn'll come soon enough, lass," she said. "Chum'll show ye a good time, too. He jus' needs t' get t' know ye better so he can do that.

"Jus' be patient, eh?" Mala concluded.

"Yeah, Knucklehead," Tara said, also smiling. "Don't let it get to you."

"What if he doesn't want to?" Piper asked, tears streaming from her eyes. "I mean, I nearly killed him!"

"You're thinking I haven't?" the arachne said, winking three of her eyes. "Hell, if it makes you feel any better, I actually wanted to at first, but only because he was a human."

When Mala saw Piper's angry expression, she patted the echidna on the arm. "She's 'ad some pretty nasty experiences with humans. If ye knew what she'd been through, ye'd hardly judge 'er."

Tara nodded. "I know I've given you a lot of shit and thrown you into the wall a few times, Knucklehead, but I think you're okay," she said.

Piper scrutinized the arachne for a moment, then asked, "Are you drunk?"

Tara chuckled. "Yeah," she said, "but know this: when an arachne says something, she means it. Listen to Fish Face and give Fuzz a chance to know you, okay? I did just that and, as a result, I had the time of my life."

"Thanks, girls," the echidna said with a smile after a pause. "I'm gonna go crash. Good night."

After Piper left, Tara yawned and excused herself. "I probably need to sleep this off," she said after grabbing a bottle of water. "With any luck, I won't have a hangover tomorrow."

As she turned to leave, Mala suddenly said, "Ye're in love with 'im, aren't ye."

The arachne turned her head. "And you're not?"

"Oh, I am… madly," the mermaid replied with a sigh. "Thing is, I know ye'd treat 'im well, now that ye know what kind o' guy he is, which is why I'll not get in yer way if he chooses ye. Regardless, we're still friends, Tara."

The arachne smiled at her friend calling her by her name for the first time. "Yeah, we are," she said, "and you know what? If I were to lose to anyone, I'd want it to be you, Mako."

"Th' name's 'Mala'," the mermaid said firmly. "If ye're gonna be callin' me by me name, I want ye t' be callin' me by th' name me dad gave me. Ye're one o' me best mates, Tara. I wouldn't be tellin' ye if ye weren't."

Tara scuttled over to her friend and gently put a claw on her shoulder. "Can I still call you 'Fish Face?'" she asked.

Mala laughed from her belly. "If ye didn't, I'd think there'd be somethin' wrong with ye! Now, take a shower an' go t' bed, Legs!"

"Fine," the arachne grinned. "By the way, Fish Face, you need to brush your teeth. Your breath stinks of booze and stale cod."

The mermaid laughed even harder. "Yar, this comin' from a bint who eats flea-bitten rats in th' attic!"

"The fleas add flavor!" Tara retorted, squealing with laughter. "Anyways, I'm going to bed. Good night, Fish Face."

"G'night, Legs," Mala responded. "Don't ye let th' bed bugs bite, an' if they do, bite 'em back!"