"I can't believe you snooped on my demons," Lee Annur grumbled. "Wha – who even does that?"
Rossa caught at her shoulder, stumbled, and papped her on the mouth. "Shush, shush-"
Lee Annur shook him off. "That's just rude," she said. "And I don't like following her plan anyway. You have dumb plans."
"Wait," Lucy said. "I dunno what's going on. Which of us are you talking to now?"
Rossa laughed. Lee Annur glared at him. Rossa laughed harder. "You know what, what... the thing you should do? You should have a mud fight!"
"No," Lee Annur said loftily, and then tripped and had to hang on to Rossa to stay up.
"No!" Lucy protested, more loudly. "What kind of vurp - perf – prevard thinks about that anyway?" She aimed a smack at Rossa, missed, and fell down. "Ow!"
Lee Annur laughed. Rossa helped Lucy up. Ahead of them, Purson padded silently down the road. Its head swung back and forth. Its nostrils flared.
"We should have brought a picnic," Rossa said. "With sandwiches and salad and rolls and hors d'ouevrerere. Ererere. ...I forgot how you stop saying that word."
"Oh God, don't talk about food," Lee Annur groaned.
The three of them were currently stumbling across a field of gorse and heather. They were also all completely hammered. This was a vital element of Plan B. (Plan C, according to Rossa, involved more alcohol, and icecream.)
Purson stopped. It lifted its head, turned to face a little copse of scrubby trees, and growled low in its throat.
"Purson? What is it, boy? What is it? Is Little Timmy in the well again?" Lee Annur asked him. "Well, Little Timmy can go ahead and drown. I'm sick of that kid's dramatics."
Rossa let out a loud snort of laughter, and in answer someone emerged from between the trees. The Swordsmage stared at the three of them, turned, and yelled back into the trees.
"Oh my God! They found us!" Lucy said. "We're in – we're in all the – Rossa, I forgot what we're in."
"Deep shit," Rossa said.
"Wait, I got this," Lee Annur said. She was leaning on her staff to keep her balance. "Arise! Haagenti!"
Sobriety hit them like an ice-water tsunami. Lucy blinked. Lee Annur recovered fastest.
"Forward!" she shouted, and Haagenti charged at the copse of trees. Lucy could see the moment the Eisenwalders were within range of Haagenti's magic; the Swordsmage staggered, and clutched his sword in both hands rather than just one as if it had grown heavier. The blurred arc of Chain Hammer's mace faltered and he had to duck to avoid his own weapon whacking him in the head.
Rossa spread out both hands, palms down. Deep green magical circles opened up under each hand as he called up his two bone golems. The troll golem closed with the Swordsmage, and the ostrich golem lunged for Tank Top as he stumbled out of the trees. His arms and shoulders were swathed in bandages. The ostrich danced around him, its tiny skull darting in to nip at his arms and legs; it did little damage, but with his injuries it was quicker than he was and every time he spun to face it the golem was already behind him.
Lucy gripped Cancer's key tight. "Open! Gate of the Crab!" Cancer appeared, scissors at the ready. "Cancer! Get the one with the chain mace!"
Cancer blurred, and almost instantly the chain of the meteor hammer was in a dozen pieces and the mace head went flying. Chain Hammer spawned a duplicate, though, and then while Cancer was slicing up the second one's weapon he spawned another and another and another until Cancer could barely avoid the whirling balls of iron.
Lucy unclasped her whip from her belt and dived headlong into the fray. Chain Hammer – any of them - favoured vicious overhead blows and swinging their maces in a wide circle around their heads; there was no way Cancer could get close enough for his usual tactic. Lucy struck low. Her whip cracked against the backs of one of the Chain Hammers' legs. He jolted, his knees gave way and he fell. Another one stepped over him and turned to her. His chain mace was a silvery blur. Lucy swung her whip back, ready to strike, and then she was dragged off her feet and thrown face-first into the ground.
Lucy's first thought was that her whip had tangled in one of the chain maces. She let go of the handle and tried to scramble to her feet again. She couldn't; she could only claw helplessly at the ground and dig grooves in the soil with her heels. She was pinned to the dirt by the buckle of her own belt and the keyring that hung on it.
What was going on? Lee Annur was supposed to have taken the metal mage out quickly with Marchosias! Lucy threw her head back and caught a glimpse of Lee Annur. She was standing back with Rossa, guarded by Flauros and smiling wickedly as she watched Lucy struggle. Hot anger twisted in Lucy's belly. She yanked at her belt buckle. It was big and solid, meant to look tough, and she couldn't get it - Lucy screamed and threw herself aside.
The chain mace smashed into the ground behind her, barely a hand's width from her back; it threw up a shower of dirt and the clean green smell of crushed heather. Lucy rolled back over the mace head, trapping it under her body. Chain Hammer tried to jerk it free. Lucy gritted her teeth as the spikes dug into her ribcage and yanked frantically at her belt.
There was a peal of sudden and unexpected laughter from Chain Hammer. "I can't get it out! She's too heavy!"
What?
"Bitch, how much do you eat?" Goatee shouted, and dissolved into tipsy giggles.
What?
Her belt buckle came free. Lucy snatched up her whip, catapulted back to her feet, and stamped her boot down on the chain of the mace. She was going to kill both of them for that! She swung her whip back and lashed out at Goatee. The Eisenwalder spun away, raising both arms to cover his head, and pulled one of the Chain Hammers into the way by his own chain. The Chain Hammer yelled as his chain tightened around his arms, and again when Lucy's whip cracked against his back once, twice, three times, and went down in a heap. The other Chain Hammers disintegrated.
"Idiot!" the Swordsmage roared. "That was the original!"
"Sorry! They're really hard to keep track of!" Goatee called back, and grinned. He was still wearing the same stupid grin when Cancer took him down, and he fell forward into the heather, minus his goatee and, in fact, all the hair on his head.
Lucy snatched up her keys again. "Great job, Cancer! Close, Gate of the Crab!" Cancer vanished. Lucy flipped the keyring expertly in her hand. "Open, Gate of the Bull!"
Taurus appeared, swinging his axe above his head and bellowing. "Miss Lucy! Nice jugs!" The shout rang out across the vast emptiness of the moor. There was sudden total silence, save for the wind in the heather.
"I don't ask him to say that!" Lucy yelled. "Perverted cow!" She shook her fist at Taurus.
"See, that's why I banned my summons from talking. That exact crap," Lee Annur said to Rossa. Her voice was thick with were never going to take her seriously at this rate! Lucy balled her hands into fists. They'd laugh, they'd say she was useless, she couldn't handle her own spirits. They'd think she was weak, an easy target, an easy victim... why was everything going so badly?
Then Tank Top jumped. He shot up into the air as if he was fired from a rocket, leaving the ostrich golem far below. Lee Annur grinned and swung her staff around. "Marchosias, begone! Decarabia, arise!"
Lucy hadn't considered that Lee Annur would summon Decarabia. Wasn't he still injured? He was – but not so badly injured that he couldn't plough straight into Tank Top and knock him out of the sky. They both hit the ground with a crash and skidded, coming to rest at the end of a deep furrow in the earth. Lucy winced. Lee Annur laughed.
"Decarabia, begone! Marchosias, arise!"
The Swordsmage was the only one left now. When he saw his guildmates lying unconscious on the ground, he tried to run, but before he had gone more than a few paces the ostrich golem blocked his path. The Swordsmage swore, swung, and caught it right in the neck. The explosion shattered the ostrich golem's thin vertebrae. Its head went flying.
"Oh, balls," Rossa said.
"Ashley! Are you going to do something?" Lee Annur yelled.
"Taurus!" Lucy shouted. "Grab him!"
Taurus dropped his axe and caught the Swordsmage by both arms so that he couldn't swing his sword. The Eisenwalder spat curses and kicked. Taurus didn't even seem to notice. He lifted his head.
"Miss Lucy?"
Lucy knew exactly what was about to happen. She knew she should reach for her keys and dismiss him.
"Flauros!" Lee Annur shouted. "Blast them!" Taurus looked up in surprise, and then the flames roared over him. Lucy turned away and covered her eyes, though she was too far away to feel the heat.
Taurus burst into starlight and returned to the stellar spirit world. The Swordsmage fell into the heather. His clothes were still smouldering. His skin was black and charred. Smoke curled out of his mouth. Lucy fell backwards, and then just sat there.
"Hi, douchebag!" Rossa greeted him, and then stooped and pressed one hand against the Swordsmage's right arm. The Swordsmage screamed. His back arched and he hit out with his left arm, but Rossa had already stepped back. The arm Rossa had touched lay limply on the ground.
"Turned some of his bones into dust," Rossa said, matter-of-factly. "Just a little extra fuck you. If anyone asks that was a vital part of taking them down, all right?" Lee Annur laughed. Rossa went to examine his ostrich. "That's half a dozen vertebrae smashed. You summoners, you've got it easy."
"Serves you right for having a creepy skeleton fetish!" Lee Annur chirped.
"Which is so much worse than having a creepy demon fetish?" Rossa picked up the skull and inspected it for damage. "That's a thousand jewel just for the shipping. Would you be a darling and do something highly illegal so I can turn you in?"
"Babe, it's illegal just to look this good," Lee Annur drawled, mimicking some pop idol.
Lucy sat and stared at the space where Taurus had been, and saw a grassy meadow two years before. Hadn't he sworn that he would always protect her (and her breasts)? Had she really just let him be... Lucy's head spun. She could barely breathe. Her mother would so ashamed if she knew! Lucy clutched at her hair. It wasn't her fault. She couldn't have known what – no, that was just making excuses! She'd known exactly what Lee Annur was planning!
"Hey, Ashley," Rossa said. "Problem?"
Lucy looked up. Lee Annur was watching her, and she was scowling. Lucy lowered her hands. "Sorry," she said, and smiled, the smile she'd mastered years ago for when people told her how fortunate she was to be the daughter of her family. "I'm just a bit tired."
Somewhere in his Requip armoury, Rossa had a coil of rope. He tied up the Eisenwalders. Lucy tried to help, but ended up just tying herself to one of them and then Rossa took the rope away from her. Lee Annur raced back to Valerian Hill Town on Marchosias's back and returned an hour later with a squad of six Rune Knights, who tossed the Eisenwalders unceremoniously in the back of their van. The payment was arranged. Lucy couldn't follow how. The Rune Knights left with the Eisenwalders, and Lucy, Lee Annur and Rossa set out back to Valerian Hill Town. It did have a train station, but trains only came every few hours, and by the time they got back to Oak Town, it was well past sunset. All the streetlamps were lit. The three of them walked out of the train station together. "I'm heading home. I guess I'll see you guys later?" Lucy said.
"Sure. Sleep tight," Rossa said. Lee Annur raised a hand in a lazy farewell, and they both turned uphill towards the guildhall. Lucy stood and watched them go, her smile plastered onto her face, until they were out of sight, and then she sat down hard on the pavement and burst into wracking sobs. Tears streamed down her face. The streetlamps blurred into smears of orange light. Lucy fumbled for her keys and felt through them blindly until she found -
"Open! Gate of the Giant Crab!"
Cancer materialised. Then he just stood there silently, watching her. Was he wary of her? Lucy craned her head back to look up at him. "I screwed up," she said, and hiccuped. At once Cancer crouched down beside her and pulled her into a hug. Lucy clutched at his shirt and sniffled "I'm the worst stellar spirit mage ever," into his shoulders.
"That's an exaggeration, =ebi," Cancer said.
"Tell Taurus I'm sorry," Lucy ordered, scrubbing her arm across her eyes. "I'm really sorry, and I'll never do it again, and, and-" Her voice cracked. "It wasn't fair, I'm sorry, I'll-"
"You screwed up," Cancer said. "Everyone does. Even Mistress Layla did, -ebi." Lucy didn't think her mother had ever got it this wrong, though. "Taurus'll be fine soon."
"I know, but that doesn't make it okay!" Lucy made a helpless gesture. "I shouldn't have listened to her. I don't know why I – I don't know why I even wanted to join a guild!" Gajeel had only invited her for a joke anyway. She knew that. "I'm not... cold enough for this. I don't want to be!" Her voice had risen to a shriek. Cancer patted her ineffectually on the shoulder. Lucy sagged back down. "I should just go home. I can't stay-"
At that Cancer interrupted her sharply. "You weren't happy there before, -ebi. It wouldn't be any different now."
"What else am I supposed to do?" Lucy sniffed and leant against Cancer's side.
"Leave and find another guild?" Cancer sounded doubtful, though.
"Do you think it'd be different?" Sue said all the guilds were the same, and really, why would any of them be any different? Everyone wanted to be the best. "I miss when we were just wandering around." Wasn't being in a guild supposed to be better? Everyone who wasn't in a guild wanted to be. There was no way you could be a proper full-fledged mage if you weren't. There were probably hundreds of people who would love to be where she was. They would probably be much better at it.
Lucy pulled off her hat and wiped her eyes with it. "Can you tell Taurus I'm sorry?"
"He already knows, but sure," Cancer said. "One thing - Aquarius isn't happy."
Lucy blanched. Apologising was never good enough for Aquarius. "I'll... um... never summon her again, then," she said. Cancer agreed that this was the best solution.
What should she do now? Avoid Lee Annur and Rossa forever? "I'd better get back to the guild," Lucy said. "I think I need to talk to someone." That wasn't going to be any fun. And she looked like a mess, her hair was sticking up all over the place. She tried to smooth it into shape with her fingers. Cancer looked actually physically pained by this, so she let him take over and sat there mutely while he ran a comb through her hair, settled her hat at the cutest possible angle (he used a protractor), stepped back and inspected his handiwork.
"Looks good, -ebi."
"Right," Lucy said. "Thank you?"
"Any time, mistress," Cancer said. Lucy managed a watery smile before she reached for her keys again and closed his Gate. Cancer stooped to press a kiss to her forehead and vanished into starlight.
Lucy's smile faded. She straightened her hat and trudged, head down, towards the guild hall. It was actually busier at this time of night; all the lights were blazing and she could hear laughter and raucous conversation from the other end of the street. When she stepped inside, the noise and brilliance were overwhelming and she stood helplessly for a moment in the doorway, not sure what to do.
"Ashley!" Sue hollered. "Over here!" She was sitting cross-legged on a table and waving with a pint in her hand. Ryos got quickly out of the way of the falling foam. Lee Annur and Rossa were at the same table. Lucy couldn't see Gajeel anywhere, though. That was good. She went over to them.
"Thought you were heading home?" Sue greeted her, but before Lucy had time to mumble an excuse she added, "Also, Ryos is spying on you for Gajeel! Just a friendly warning!" Ryos went bright red.
"What?" Lucy squawked. "Why?"
"Don't take it personally, he's spying on the rest of us for the jerkbag as well," Sue said. "Maybe Gajeel's got a bet on or something?" Actually, Lucy knew exactly what it was about. He was waiting for her to fail hilariously. Couldn't he just get on with it and pulverise her himself?
She shot Ryos a venomous look. He scooted rapidly to the other end of the table.
"Ashley, that's mean!" Sue barked. "Ryos, baby, honey pie, get over here, I love you even if you are a sneaking little minion."
"Sue, he's eleven. Not okay," Rossa said. "Ryos, come and sit with us where you will be safe from molestation."
"Ryos, don't listen to him, he's a creepy skeleton fetishist and he wants to remove your bones and eat them. Now come here so I can dress you in an adorable frog costume."
Ryos looked between Sue and Rossa, and then sat stock-still and quietly regretted all his life choices.
"Sometimes I feel bad for that kid," Lee Annur said, gazing into the dregs of her lager. There was a moment of silence. She looked up sharply. "Wait. Crap. Did I just say that out loud?"
"A little," Rossa said.
"Uh," Lucy said. "Could I talk to you for a minute? Somewhere quieter?"
"Fine," Lee Annur said, drained her glass and stood. She picked up her staff. "Lead the way."
They went outside and leant against the wall. Lucy took a deep breath and plunged in. "I don't think we'd better work together any more."
"What?" Lee Annur pulled a face. "Why? I mean, sure, you're new, and you're crap, but everybody's new and crap at some point."
"I... uh... I think we just have different approaches to summoning?" Lucy hedged.
"Yeah, you're kind of squeamish," Lee Annur agreed. "But you're improving! I mean, you're making an effort."
"It's not that," Lucy said. "I'm just... I'm not really happy with how you expect me to-" Lee Annur's expression darkened. Lucy's voice dwindled to a whimper. "- treat my spirits?"
Lee Annur stared at her. "Are you serious? Are you actually saying you'd rather a partner of yours got hurt than some of your property got damaged?"
"They're not my property!" Lucy protested. "They're my spirits!"
"Exactly! Your spirits! It's a possessive!" Lee Annur's voice rose to a shout. "Oh my God, do I have to explain grammar to you as well?"
Lucy took a step back, hands raised defensively.
"I – it's not like I want anyone else to get hurt-"
"It's not like it kills them!" Lee Annur snapped. "Hell, Marchosias's grown legs back before! Are stellar spirits just complete fragile swooning pansies or something?"
"No, I know they would heal, I just-" Lucy started. Lee Annur interrupted.
"You just what? Like, you're standing there and thinking well I could let one of my actual human guildmates get maimed or briefly inconvenience one of my summons, huh, well, obvious choice there? It is an obvious choice! How are you getting this wrong?"
"That's not what I said!" Lucy protested. There was a lump in her throat and her eyes were stinging with tears again.
"You are saying that! Those are like the exact words you're saying! Are you not listening to yourself?" Lee Annur made an exasperated gesture and rolled her eyes.
"Can you let me talk?" Lucy demanded. "I'm not saying I would prioritise my spirits over someone I was working with! I just don't see why we can't try to find a way where nobody gets hurt!"
"Right, well, if we lived in a perfect fairyland that would be an option, but we don't and it's not," Lee Annur bit out. " How naïve are you? 'I'm not happy with how you expect me to treat my spirits' – well screw you then! Can you imagine if I started caring more about my demons than about Rossa?" She made an expansive gesture possibly signifying the magnitude of the black hole their partnership would collapse into and then added "That's not even worth considering. That's not even a hypothetical situation because in no universe would I do that and screw me if I did!"
"It's not the same," Lucy snarled, hot tears spilling from her eyes. "I don't have a partner! I work by myself!"
"You'd better stick to working by yourself, then," Lee Annur snapped. She spun on her heel and stormed off.
"Wait!" Lucy shouted. Lee Annur disappeared back inside. Lucy scrubbed her hands across her face and sat down, her back against the wall. Was Lee Annur right? Lucy didn't want anyone she was working with to get hurt. She just didn't want her spirits to be hurt either! Was that not good enough? Did she need to be harder, or colder, or stronger? Lucy drew her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and let her head hang down. It couldn't get worse.
"Hey, princess! What's your problem?" Lucy raised her head. Gajeel was standing over her.
"Um," Lucy said. Gajeel grinned and made a fist. Tendons stood out on his forearms. The leather of his gloves creaked.
"Want me to punch it out for you?"
"... I don't need anything punched out of me!" Lucy yelped, and fled.
