Miranda didn't even wait for the doorbell to ring before she flung her door open. She had been waiting by the window, awaiting the arrival of Andrea, since she got home fifteen minutes earlier. It was all she could do to keep herself from flinging herself into the young woman's arms. As it was, Andrea was indisposed in her current position. Douglas was carrying the young brunette over his shoulder as if she weighed nothing, and by Doug's flinch and the thwack that sounded from his back, Miranda could easily guess that Andrea had punched him in protestation of his manhandling.
"Doug, put me down right now." Andrea's voice sounded stern, and tired, and uncharacteristically weak compared to its usual cheerful melody. Miranda felt her stomach drop just at the sound of it. Have I done this to her?
Miranda opened the door wider to let the man in. The minute he was in the foyer, he put his friend down on the floor. After giving a small grunt of relief, he quickly turned, nodded at Miranda, then swiftly left the house.
After closing the door behind him, Miranda turned to Andrea, who was looking straight at her with hollow eyes. Miranda gulped, because Andrea's beautiful, usually vivid brown eyes were expressionless, and there was a slight puffiness and redness around the lids that proved to her that the young woman had been crying.
Not knowing what to say, Miranda tentatively stepped towards Andrea, only to have her finch and step back. She watched, helpless, as Andrea wrapped her arms around her torso, as if trying to protect herself from Miranda, and her gaze fell to the floor. She looked so vulnerable, so broken, that Miranda's heart shrunk at the sight.
"Andrea..." Miranda swallowed, not knowing where to start. "May we talk?"
Andy nodded slightly. It was hard to face Miranda, because even though she was hurting, the woman still managed to make her heart speed up, and she felt the indescribable urge to go towards the woman, wrap herself in strong arms, bury her face in the soft neck. She wished she could leave, because Miranda's presence was wreaking havoc with Andy's emotions. She couldn't look at the woman, so she carefully kept her gaze on the floor. This house smelled so much like her, like Miranda, and she could barely swallow around the lump in her throat. She was going to really miss this house, and all the memories she had here of the two of them together.
Miranda took a deep breath. She had no idea what she could say or do to make things right. She was losing hope, because she knew she had hurt Andrea, and she was never very good with people in the first place. Hope was slowly leaving her the more she gazed at the broken woman before her. She cleared her throat slightly, and then led the way into the den, hearing Andrea's soft footsteps following her. Miranda took her favourite seat, trying to push away the memory of a certain encounter with Andrea in this very room. Andrea sat on the love seat before her, still not lifting her gaze. Not being able to look upon the brown eyes was getting to Miranda.
"Won't you look at me?" She whispered. Her voice sounded raspy, even to her own ears. Her emotions were clearly getting the better of her.
Instead of looking up, Andrea simply closed her eyes. Miranda could see Andrea's hands shaking where they held her own torso. The young woman took a deep breath.
"What did you want to say to me, Miranda?"
Andy was dreading the answer. She knew she was being ridiculous, and she honestly didn't know what to expect from the woman. Perhaps she would laugh at her? Or maybe blacklist her? Maybe she would taunt Andy until she completely broke down? Her thoughts were cut short by Miranda's next words, which caught her completely off guard.
"I'm sorry, Andrea."
Andrea's eyes shot open, looking at Miranda with disbelief and confusion.
"I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused you," Miranda continued. "I promise you, it was never my intention. I wish there was a way to explain everything, but I find myself rather speechless when it comes to you."
Andrea stared at her for several moments longer, before she visibly swallowed and let out a shaky breath before speaking.
"Will you try? Please?"
Miranda sighed. Brown eyes pleaded with her, because it was clear her Andrea was confused, and probably scared, and clearly very hurt.
"When I hired you," she began, hoping she could rectify things by explaining everything from the very beginning. "I knew you were different. You were like nobody else I had ever met. I could see great potential in you, but also great compassion and empathy for others. That is extremely rare for me to come across in this world. It didn't take me long to realise that you are a remarkable person, Andrea. You are special, and unique, and I was drawn to that. But I also wanted to see if that uniqueness would break. I pushed your limits, giving you impossible assignments, and you surpassed all my expectations every time.
Then Paris happened. You gave me compassion and sympathy when I didn't deserve it. You listened when I was at my weakest, and you never used it against me, never told any other person about what you saw and heard me say. Nobody has ever done that for me before. Nobody has ever looked at me with empathy in their eyes, nobody stayed with me and listened when I was feeling down, nobody offered any sort of help. You did. And you once again proved to me that you are a special person, beyond anything I imagined. And I was truly surprised by your loyalty, how hard you tried to warn me of Irv's plans. Had it been any other person, I'm sure they would have left me in order to join Jacqueline once she took control. You didn't. You wanted to help me keep my position. You showed more loyalty to me than anyone else I've ever had in my life. Even my husbands." Miranda gave a small, amused snort, then shook her head sadly.
"After that, no matter what I did, you were always somewhere on the back of my mind. I started noticing you more, and I thought about you so much I felt I was going insane. I felt this pull towards you, like my happiness depended on you alone." She paused, looking deep into teary brown eyes. "It does, Andrea. My happiness depends on you."
At hearing this statement, Andrea closed her eyes, a tear escaping and slowly sliding down her cheek.
Andy's emotions were at war, caught up in a hurricane of chaos. She wanted to believe Miranda's words. She had never seen Miranda's eyes so sincere, so gentle, but Andy was having a difficult time accepting Miranda's words. She didn't think she was as special as the older woman was making her to be. And when Miranda declared that her happiness depended on Andy, she could barely draw breath.
Her whirling thoughts were cut short as she heard rustling movement, and then a warm hand was reaching for her hands, disentangling them from their position around Andy's body. The other soft hand cupped Andy's cheek, the thumb wiping away her tears. Andy fluttered her eyes open, and the image before her was so beautiful her breath caught in her chest. Miranda was sitting on the floor before her, a soft expression on her face, her warm and sincere eyes looking up at her with something very akin to affection.
"Andrea, I needed you in my life, as more than my assistant. I tried to control it, because I knew that there was no chance you would ever want me the same way. Until one day I caught you gazing at me. You didn't even notice. I caught your reflection on my mirror in the office, and I saw you gazing at me with an expression so filled with longing that in that moment I knew I had to take a chance. So I did."
Miranda's eyes filled with regret, and she gazed down, looking away from Andrea.
"I am truly sorry for what I put you through. I should have realised how it would make you feel, when all we did was," Miranda cleared her throat softly, sighing regretfully. "fuck. There was no relationship, nothing except sex. I wish I had done things differently, because I never meant to hurt you. That is the last thing I ever want to do, Andrea. But I didn't feel like I had any other choice. I was in the middle of my divorce, and I simply could not afford to have a serious relationship with anyone, because if anybody found out, the divorce would get much, much more complicated. I also wanted to keep it as secret as possible, because we could endanger both of our careers if anyone saw even a small change in our working relationship. And, finally, I wanted to shield my girls from it until the divorce was finalised and you and I could work things out properly. They've been through a lot lately, with the divorce and the press, I didn't want to burden them further."
Miranda looked back up at doe brown eyes.
"I knew that it was wrong, that I should have waited for the divorce to be final, and for you to be promoted into a different job. But I simply could not keep myself away from you. I tried, I really did. But you are irresistible, Andrea. You are my weakness."
Long moments of silence followed Miranda's speech. Miranda could barely breathe, sending silent prayers to whatever force of nature was out there to make things right. She couldn't lose Andrea, she simply couldn't. She would not be able to take it.
Andy, for her part, was processing all the information Miranda had just said. She recognised Miranda's valid arguments, realising that she was right about many of them. But still, Andy could not help but feel betrayed and hurt.
"Miranda," she cleared her throat, trying her best to steady her voice. "I understand what you're saying. But couldn't you have taken me into consideration? Why didn't you tell me all of this before? We barely even talked, all we did was have sex. Could we not have had this conversation at the beginning, so that I could understand all of this?"
Miranda sighed again, and lowered her gaze. She knew she had done things the wrong way. It was time to face up to it.
"I'm sorry, Andrea. You're absolutely right, of course. I should have taken you into account. You had the right to know about everything, we should have talked and come to an agreement. I now realise what a total bitch I was. I'm sorry, it was never my intention to dismiss you in all this. You are a person with the right to know what was happening, and I should have taken your feelings into account. After I read your letter, I realised just how badly I treated you, like some sort of sex slave. I wish I had realised sooner, because you were never that to me, Andrea. I deeply regret doing that to you. But, at the time, I barely even realised. I couldn't think straight. I was so consumed by you, I could barely function when I was around you, much less process the consequences of what I was doing. It took a lot of effort not to take you whenever I saw you. And even then, there were many days at work when I gave into my desires. But that is no excuse. I've never been very good with people, it's one of the reasons I'm so ruthless. I've never had a lot of emotional connections with people. The only people that I've loved more than life itself was my father, my girls, and you, Andrea. Not my husbands, not my so called friends. No one."
Andy's heart jumped in her chest and her eyes grew wide. Love? Did Miranda Priestly just confess she loved her? Before she could keep control of her mouth, Andy spoke.
"You love me?"
Miranda looked up, eyes softening further, and a small smile gracing her lips. She caressed Andy's cheek with the back of her fingers.
"Yes, Andrea. I love you. I have loved you for quite some time." The smile wavered before disappearing, and blue eyes turned sad. "I just wish I had gone about it the right way. I would understand if you still wish to leave and never see me again. I will let you go, Andrea, if that is what you wish. It will kill me, but I will completely understand. I have treated you in a terrible manner, and I will never forgive myself for it."
Andy closed her eyes, leaning into the caress on her cheek. Her mind was telling her that what Miranda did was wrong, and she should be angry. But her heart was thumping quickly, making itself heard. Andy knew in her heart that she could never truly leave Miranda behind. Her heart would never forget the silver-haired goddess. Besides, Miranda had explained and apologised, and even though it would take a while for Andy to trust her completely, she knew that Miranda was being sincere. When did Miranda allow herself to be vulnerable, completely bare with her emotions? When did Miranda apologise while literally being on her knees? When did she admit her actions had been wrong? Most of all, when did Miranda ever admit to loving anyone to the point she wouldn't be able to live without them?
When Andy opened her eyes, she saw Miranda's eyes looking up at her, tears tainting their blue beauty. She could see the hurt there, the regret, the dread that Miranda was feeling. Andy sighed, and lifted her hand up to trace a finger down Miranda's cheek down to the elegant jawline. Miranda's eyes fluttered close at the touch, and the tears that had been gathering in her eyes finally spilled forward, trailing down her smooth cheeks.
Andy leaned forward, catching one tear with her lips, kissing the trail away. Miranda sighed in something like relief, warmth and love flowing through her in strong waves.
"Andrea..." She whispered.
Before she could say anything else, warm lips touched hers, softly and gently, kissing her with such tenderness that Miranda felt like weeping. Just as softly, she returned the caress before Andrea pulled away. She gazed up into soft brown eyes, and the lips she had just been kissing turned into a beautiful smile that took Miranda's breath away.
"I forgive you, Miranda."
Miranda bit her lower lip, trying to stifle a sob that wanted to break through her. When a gentle hand cupped her cheek, and Andrea's eyes looked at her with love and understanding, the sob passed Miranda's lips. She cried in relief, leaning up to wrap her arms around her love. Andrea returned the embrace, pulling Miranda up from the floor into the loveseat before pulling her close. They stayed like that for several long moments, bodies melting together, hands softly caressing and running through strands of hair, hiding their faces in the other's necks, breathing in the each other's scent. They let their tears fall freely, feeling like everything was finally falling into place. Andy's pain was gone, because even though Miranda had not done things the right way, the woman had asked for forgiveness, and Miranda loved her. That's all Andy could ask for.
When they finally drew apart, Miranda gently pulled Andy's hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear before cupping her cheek. She smiled soflty at the young woman.
"Would you mind starting over with me, darling? I want to do things properly this time."
Andy returned the smile and nodded gently.
"I'd love that Miranda."
Miranda's small smile grew into a blinding one that made Andy's heart jump. Miranda stood from the sofa and extended her hand, helping the young woman up along with her.
"Would you have an early dinner with me, Andrea? I'll cook."
Andy's smile grew further. She was going on a date with Miranda Priestly, it seemed.
"I would love that."
Together, they left the den and went to the kitchen, where Andy sat and watched as Miranda gracefully moved around, preparing a meal for the both of them. She could barely believe how much things had changed in so little time. Just a couple of hours earlier she had gone to Doug in desperate need of support, and had told him over lunch everything that happened. She had cried her eyes out, wishing she could tear her heart from her chest. Now, her heart was the happiest it had ever been, skipping a beat as Miranda turned her head from the stove and smiled at Andy. Yes, things were going to turn out wonderful.
That night, they wouldn't fuck. They would make love. And they would keep doing so for the rest of their lives, sharing a love so true, so pure, so deep, that no matter what would come their way, they would fight through it together. They would love each other until their last living breath. After all, a love like this is worth fighting for.
