Courtship of My Scully

Courtship of My Scully

Everybody loves the Old Fashioned.

"Hey Scully." Mulder said to her, "You look tired. Why don't you go home and catch some rest while I look after your brothers?" An act of chivalry that he hoped wouldn't go unnoticed.

"I can't ask you to do that." Scully replied.

"You didn't." Mulder said, "I offered remember. You need to get home and get some sleep."

"Thank you Mulder." She yawned.

In response Mulder yawned, which only succeeded in Scully yawning even more, "Go home before you make me tired." Mulder said with a smirk.

"Call me the moment anything changes." That was an order that had to be obeyed. Mulder picked up a magazine into Bill's room. He thought he'd alternate between the two. But he cared more about seeing Bill awake than Charles.

The magazine that he had picked up was a woman's magazine, he didn't take a look at the title he just glanced at the magazine.

What Women Really want. This title caught his eye, "Not Fox Mulder that's for sure."

Bill stirred then woke up with a start, "What the hell are you doing here?" He said.

"I sent Scully home." Mulder answered, "She was really tired. You're looking a lot better."

Bill nodded. He must be sick Mulder thought, "I haven't been this sick since an old girlfriend brought me dahlia plants as an anniversary present."

"You're allergic to Dahlias?" Mulder asked.

"Why the shock?" Bill asked.

"I just never knew." Mulder answered, "Can we have a talk Bill?" Mulder stood up.

"Mr Mulder." Bill replied, "What is it?"

"I know you're the oldest male in the Scully family right?" Mulder stiffened, "So I'm going to respect. I'm in love with your daughter – "

"You're sick." Bill was ready to kick his ass, "You're a totally sick asshole."

"Daughter?" Mulder exclaimed, "I meant sister… Sister! I'm in love with Dana." Bill was surely about to protest, "Can you let me finish? Scully is the missing piece of my soul. She is one truly remarkable woman. And I do truly love her Mr Scully." Mulder said, "And I want to spend the rest of my life showing her how special she is. Mr Scully, I want to officially ask for your daughter's – I mean sister's hand in marriage." Mulder quickly corrected himself, "With all respect."

"Are you serious about wanting my blessing?" Bill asked.

"Yes." Mulder answered.

"Then I have one thing to say to you." Bill said calmly, "Piss off. The answer is no. Go on! Get out of here!"

Mulder definitely felt rejected. But he called Scully and told her about Bill's improved condition once he got outside.


The one equation that seemed to get up people's noses was that Mulder was Mulder. So he thought that maybe he should change to fit people's expectations. Yes that's it he thought to himself. Change himself and get the gal he wants. So his porn collection won't be such a great sacrifice. Mulder stood for awhile in the secluded area of the park. Cautiously he poured a dash of kerosene into the tin can and lit a match. With longing eyes he dropped the match and watched his formerly beloved porn collection turn to ashes. But something took control of him and he began to back away. He'd avoided it for so long that he forgot about fire. The red hot demon that he always feels like it's about to make a leap straight for him. How could he have forgotten?

Perhaps he lingered around too long…

"Hold it right there firebug." An authority type voice ordered, "Stay there… Put your hands up."

Mulder turned around to see a cop with a gun pointed at him.

"I'm taking you in." The cop said, "You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney and if you can't afford one, one will be appointed to you."

"But…" Mulder protested.

"You can't go around setting fire to things in parks." The cop said.

"Yeah, But…" He said again.

"It's illegal."

"But…"

"So I'm taking you in." The cop said.

"But yeah, but…"

"Tell it to the judge." Mulder was told.

He was put into the back of a patrol cruiser. Mulder couldn't help but smile at his predicament. Of all the times he's been in police cars, it's never been like this. Scully's going to have a field day with this one. How the hell did he wind up like this? Mulder asked himself. When did all this start?

Mulder's smile broadened.

It started the day she walked into his office.

"I wouldn't smile Mister." The cop said, "You're in big, big trouble." Hopefully a judge somewhere or another cop would understand the current predicament, "What makes you firebugs get off on setting fire to everything?" The cop was curious.

"Listen." Mulder answered, "I won't explain my actions to you, because you won't believe them. I'd rather waste my time explaining to a judge or whoever."

"You'll enjoy wasting time in a cell more like it." The cop said.

Mulder was fingerprinted, processed and put in a lonely cell. He'd made that one phone call to Scully but remained iffy on the details. After all, he wanted to see her face when he explained exactly what was going on. Oh god was she going to have a field day.

Mulder started humming, "When it hasn't been your day, your week or even your year… I'll be there for you, because you're always there for me." Mulder sung. He couldn't help but laugh. Everybody in the FBI was going to have a bloody ball. Mulder laid down on the lumpy bed and waited for Scully to arrive. He didn't know how it happened but he actually fell asleep.

He snapped awake when the sound of high heels smacking concrete got his attention, "Scully!" Mulder exclaimed.

"What's this about you starting fires in park area?" Scully asked, "A… It's illegal. B… You have a fear of fire and C… Well it's illegal… What were you thinking?"
"You're so, so beautiful when you're frustrated with me." Mulder said, smiling.

"If that was true Mulder…" Scully said, "I'd be beautiful all the time."

"You are Dana." Mulder said.

"Mulder…"

"Yes?" Mulder asked.

"Bill told me about your talk with him." Scully said, "And with your behavior lately, I really must urge you to see someone. If we can tell the judge of your circumstances lately, I'm sure he'd go easy."

"I've never been more sane Scully." Mulder replied.

"That's debatable." Scully said.

"Do you remember Twin Peaks?" Mulder asked.

"That weird show about Laura Palmer?" Scully asked, "The one where you said you identified with cross-dressing male DEA agent?"

"Yes." Mulder answered, "But I'm talking about the kiss in between the bars Scully… Come on. Just once?"

"Mulder…"

"Yes?"

"I think you really should see someone." Scully said.

"I want to start seeing someone everyday… And I'm looking right at her." Mulder said seriously.

"I'm going to recommend you be given time off." Scully said as she walked off.

"Scully…" Mulder said.

"Yes?" Scully asked.

"Nothing. I just wanted to see you turn around again." Mulder said.

Mulder…"


"Fox Mulder." The judge said, "Says here, you're FBI. Doesn't the FBI know that it's illegal to set fires during a fire ban?"

"Some people might argue that I haven't been in the right mind lately." Mulder winked at Scully and she nodded back, "But I am totally of sound mind. Of course my life at the moment is in somewhat turmoil your honor. But have you ever come across someone that made your heart soar by being in the same area and that makes you feel great by just talking to you. Unfortunately, I only have come to realize this not long ago. She is my world, she is my missing piece."

"That still doesn't explain what you were doing starting a fire in a tin can." The judge said.

"I forgot about that." Mulder said, "This woman incites my will to change old bad habits. Like a person that gives that extra excuse to give up smoking, as well at the urge to give to give up other bad habits. This woman Dana Scully here, has incited me to change one habit. Porn." There were gasps from the onlookers.

"That still doesn't explain why you set the fire." The judge was becoming more impatient.

"I'm getting to that." Mulder said, "I live in an apartment building so I thought I'd take a large tin can all my porno magazines and burn them since I've already destroyed the videos."

"In light of this testimony." The Judge said, "I'm letting Fox Mulder go with a warning. Do not set fire to anything else young man. And good luck."

"Thank you… Your Honor." Mulder said.


Mulder met Scully outside the courthouse, "See Scully." He said, "That was easier to get out of than a fart in a colander."

"Mulder?" Scully said.

"Yes Dana."

"This isn't a game is it?" Scully asked, "And you are in your right mind?"

"Yes Dana." Mulder said, "And I'll show you how much I'm in my right mind."

"Did you really burn ALL your porn?" Scully asked.

"Yes Dana every last magazine." Mulder answered.

"Frohike's going to be pissed at you." Scully said.

Mulder shrugged his shoulders and handed the keys to her, "Here you drive."


NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW:

Mulder tries to be like any other FBI agent... This really starts to irritate Scully. Tune in next chapter: Like the Agent Next Door.